Project Gutenberg EBook, Time's Portraiture, by Nathaniel Hawthorne
From "The Doliver Romance and Other Pieces: Tales and Sketches"
#79 in our series by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Copyright laws are changing all over the world. Be sure to check the
copyright laws for your country before downloading or redistributing
this or any other Project Gutenberg eBook.

This header should be the first thing seen when viewing this Project
Gutenberg file.  Please do not remove it.  Do not change or edit the
header without written permission.

Please read the "legal small print," and other information about the
eBook and Project Gutenberg at the bottom of this file.  Included is
important information about your specific rights and restrictions in
how the file may be used.  You can also find out about how to make a
donation to Project Gutenberg, and how to get involved.


**Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**

**EBooks Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**

*****These EBooks Were Prepared By Thousands of Volunteers*****



Title: Time's Portraiture
      (From: "The Doliver Romance and Other Pieces: Tales and Sketches")

Author: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Release Date: Nov, 2005  [EBook #9252]
[This file was first posted on September 25, 2003]
[Last updated on February 6, 2007]

Edition: 10

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII




*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, TIME'S PORTRAITURE ***




This eBook was produced by David Widger





                 THE DOLIVER ROMANCE AND OTHER PIECES

                         TALES AND SKETCHES

                       By Nathaniel Hawthorne


                         TIME'S PORTRAITURE



Being the Carrier's Address to the Patrons of "The Salem Gazette" for
the 1st of January, 1838.

ADDRESS.

Kind Patrons:---We newspaper carriers are Time's errand-boys; and all
the year round, the old gentleman sends us from one of your doors to
another, to let you know what he is talking about and what he is doing.
We are a strange set of urchins; for, punctually on New Year's morning,
one and all of us are seized with a fit of rhyme, and break forth in such
hideous strains, that it would be no wonder if the infant Year, with her
step upon the threshold, were frightened away by the discord with which
we strive to welcome her.  On these occasions, most generous patrons,
you never fail to give us a taste of your bounty; but whether as a
reward for our verses, or to purchase a respite from further infliction
of them, is best known to your worshipful selves.  Moreover, we, Time's
errand-boys as aforesaid, feel it incumbent upon us, on the first day of
every year, to present a sort of summary of our master's dealings with
the world, throughout the whole of the preceding twelvemonth.  Now it
has so chanced by a misfortune heretofore unheard of, that I, your
present petitioner, have been altogether forgotten by the Muse.  Instead
of being able (as I naturally expected) to measure my ideas into six-
foot lilies, and tack a rhyme at each of their tails, I find myself,
this blessed morning, the same simple proser that I was yesterday, and
shall probably be to-morrow.  And to my further mortification, being a
humble-minded little sinner, I feel no wise capable of talking to your
worships with the customary wisdom of my brethren, and giving sage
opinions as to what Time has done right, and what he has done wrong, and
what of right or wrong he means to do hereafter.  Such being my unhappy
predicament, it is with no small confusion of face, that I make bold to
present myself at your doors.  Yet it were surely a pity that my non-
appearance should defeat your bountiful designs for the replenishing of
my pockets.  Wherefore I have bethought me, that it might not displease
your worships to hear a few particulars about the person and habits of
Father Time, with whom, as being one of his errand-boys, I have more
acquaintance than most lads of my years.

For a great many years past, there has been a woodcut on the cover of
the "Farmer's Almanac," pretending to be a portrait of Father Time.  It
represents that respectable personage as almost in a state of nudity,
with a single lock of hair on his forehead, wings on his shoulders, and
accoutred with a scythe and an hour-glass.  These two latter symbols
appear to betoken that the old fellow works in haying time, by the hour.
But, within my recollection, Time has never carried a scythe and an
hour-glass, nor worn a pair of wings, nor shown himself in the half-
naked condition that the almanac would make us believe.  Nowadays, he is
the most fashionably dressed figure about town; and I take it to be his
natural disposition, old as he is, to adopt every fashion of the day and
of the hour.  Just at the present period, you may meet him in a furred
surtout, with pantaloons strapped under his narrow-toed boots; on his
head, instead of a single forelock, he wears a smart auburn wig, with
bushy whiskers of the same hue, the whole surmounted by a German-lustre
hat.  He has exchanged his hour-glass for a gold patent-lever watch,
which he carries in his vest-pocket; and as for his scythe, he has
either thrown it aside altogether, or converted its handle into a cane
not much stouter than a riding-switch.  If you stare him full in the
face, you will perhaps detect a few wrinkles; but, on a hasty glance,
you might suppose him to be in the very heyday of life, as fresh as he
was in the garden of Eden.  So much for the present aspect of Time; but
I by no means insure that the description shall suit him a month hence,
or even at this hour tomorrow.

It is another very common mistake, to suppose that Time wanders among
old ruins, and sits on mouldering walls and moss-grown stones,
meditating about matters which everybody else has forgotten.  Some
people, perhaps, would expect to find him at the burial-ground in Broad
Street, poring over the half-illegible inscriptions on the tombs of the
Higginsons, the Hathornes,--[Not "Hawthorne," as one of the present
representatives of the family has seen fit to transmogrify a good old
name.]--the Holyokes, the Brownes, the Olivers, the Pickmans, the
Pickerings, and other worthies, with whom he kept company of old.  Some
would look for him on the ridge of Gallows Hill, where, in one of his
darkest moods, he and Cotton Mather hung the witches.  But they need not
seek him there.  Time is invariably the first to forget his own deeds,
his own history, and his own former associates.  His place is in the
busiest bustle of the world.  If you would meet Time face to face, you
have only to promenade in Essex Street, between the hours of twelve and
one; and there, among beaux and belles, you will see old Father Time,
apparently the gayest of the gay.  He walks arm in arm with the young
men, talking about balls and theatres, and afternoon rides, and midnight
merry-makings; he recommends such and such a fashionable tailor, and
sneers at every garment of six months' antiquity; and, generally, before
parting, he invites his friends to drink champagne,--a wine in which
Time delights, on account of its rapid effervescence.  And Time treads
lightly beside the fair girls, whispering to them (the old deceiver!)
that they are the sweetest angels he ever was acquainted with.  He tells
them that they have nothing to do but dance and sing, and twine roses in
their hair, and gather a train of lovers, and that the world will always
be like an illuminated ball-room.  And Time goes to the Commercial News-
Room, and visits the insurance-offices, and stands at the corner of
Essex and St. Peter's Streets, talking with the merchants.

However, Time seldom has occasion to mention the gentleman's name, so
that it is no great matter how he spells or pronounces it about the
arrival of ships, the rise and fall of stocks, the price of cotton and
breadstuffs, the prospects of the whaling-business, and the cod-fishery,
and all other news of the day.  And the young gentlemen, and the pretty
girls, and the merchants, and all others with whom he makes
acquaintance, are apt to think that there is nobody like Time,
and that Time is all in all.

But Time is not near so good a fellow as they take him for.  He is
continually on the watch for mischief, and often seizes a sly
opportunity to lay his cane over the shoulders of some middle-aged
gentleman; and lo and behold!  the poor man's back is bent, his hair
turns gray, and his face looks like a shrivelled apple.  This is what is
meant by being "time-stricken."  It is the worst feature in Time's
character, that he always inflicts the greatest injuries on his oldest
friends.  Yet, shamefully as he treats them, they evince no desire to
cut his acquaintance, and can seldom bear to think of a final
separation.

Again, there is a very prevalent idea, that Time loves to sit by the
fireside, telling stories of the Puritans, the witch persecutors, and
the heroes of the old French war and the Revolution; and that he has no
memory for anything more recent than the days of the first President
Adams.  This is another great mistake.  Time is so eager to talk of
novelties, that he never fails to give circulation to the most
incredible rumors of the day, though at the hazard of being compelled to
eat his own words to-morrow.  He shows numberless instances of this
propensity while the national elections are in progress.  A month ago,
his mouth was full of the wonderful Whig victories; and to do him
justice, he really seems to have told the truth for once.  Whether the
same story will hold good another year, we must leave Time himself to
show.  He has a good deal to say, at the present juncture, concerning
the revolutionary movements in Canada; he blusters a little about the
northeastern boundary question; he expresses great impatience at the
sluggishness of our commanders in the Florida war; he gets considerably
excited whenever the subject of abolition is brought forward, and so
much the more, as he appears hardly to have made up his mind on one side
or the other.  Whenever this happens to be the case,--as it often does,
--Time works himself into such a rage, that you would think he were
going to tear the universe to pieces; but I never yet knew him to
proceed, in good earnest, to such terrible extremities.  During the last
six or seven months, he has been seized with intolerable sulkiness at
the slightest mention of the currency; for nothing vexes Time so much as
to be refused cash upon the nail.  The above are the chief topics of
general interest which Time is just now in the habit of discussing.
For his more private gossip, he has rumors of new matches, of old ones
broken off, with now and then a whisper of good-natured scandal;
sometimes, too, he condescends to criticise a sermon, or a lyceum
lecture, or performance of the glee-club; and, to be brief, catch the
volatile essence of present talk and transitory opinions, and you will
have Time's gossip, word for word.  I may as well add, that he expresses
great approbation of Mr. Russell's vocal abilities, and means to be
present from beginning to end of his next concert.  It is not every
singer that could keep Time with his voice and instrument, for a whole
evening. Perhaps you will inquire, "What are Time's literary tastes?"
And here again there is a general mistake.  It is conceived by many,
that Time spends his leisure hours at the Athenaeum, turning over the
musty leaves of those large worm-eaten folios, which nobody else has
disturbed since the death of the venerable Dr. Oliver.  So far from this
being the case, Time's profoundest studies are the new novels from
Messrs. Ives and Jewett's Circulating Library.  He skims over the
lighter articles in the periodicals of the day, glances at the
newspapers, and then throws them aside forever, all except "The Salem
Gazette," of which he preserves a file, for his amusement a century or
two hence.

We will now consider Time as a man of business.  In this capacity, our
citizens are in the habit of complaining, not wholly without reason,
that Time is sluggish and dull.  You may see him occasionally at the end
of Derby Wharf, leaning against a post, or sitting on the breech of an
iron cannon, staring listlessly at an unrigged East Indiaman.  Or, if
you look through the windows of the Union Marine Insurance Office, you
may get a glimpse of him there, nodding over a newspaper, among the old
weather-beaten sea-captains who recollect when Time was quite a
different sort of fellow.  If you enter any of the dry-goods stores
along Essex Street, you will be likely to find him with his elbows on
the counter, bargaining for a yard of tape or a paper of pins.  To catch
him in his idlest mood, you must visit the office of some young lawyer.
Still, however, Time does contrive to do a little business among us, and
should not be denied the credit of it.  During the past season, he has
worked pretty diligently upon the railroad, and promises to start the
cars by the middle of next summer.  Then we may fly from Essex Street to
State Street, and be back again before Time misses us.  In conjunction
with our worthy mayor (with whose ancestor, the Lord Mayor of London,
Time was well acquainted more than two hundred years ago) he has laid
the corner-stone of a new city hall, the granite front of which is
already an ornament to Court Street.  But besides these public affairs,
Time busies himself a good deal in private.  Just at this season of the
year, he is engaged in collecting bills, and may be seen at almost any
hour peregrinating from street to street, and knocking at half the doors
in town, with a great bundle of these infernal documents.  On such
errands he appears in the likeness of an undersized, portly old
gentleman, with gray hair, a bluff red face, and a loud tone of voice;
and many people mistake him for the penny-post.

Never does a marriage take place, but Time is present among the wedding-
guests; for marriage is an affair in which Time takes more interest than
in almost any other.  He generally gives away the bride, and leads the
bridegroom by the hand to the threshold of the bridal chamber.  Although
Time pretends to be very merry on these occasions, yet, if you watch him
well, you may often detect a sigh.  Whenever a babe is born into this
weary world, Time is in attendance, and receives the wailing infant in
his arms.  And the poor babe shudders instinctively at his embrace, and
sets up a feeble cry.

Then again, from the birth-chamber, he must hurry to the bedside of some
old acquaintance, whose business with Time is ended forever, though
their accounts remain to be settled at a future day.  It is terrible,
sometimes, to perceive the lingering reluctance, the shivering agony,
with which the poor souls bid Time farewell, if they have gained no
other friend to supply the gray deceiver's place.  How do they cling to
Time, and steal another and yet another glance at his familiar aspect!
But Time, the hard-hearted old fellow! goes through such scenes with
infinite composure, and dismisses his best friends from memory the
moment they are out of sight.  Others, who have not been too intimate
with Time, as knowing him to be a dangerous character, and apt to ruin
his associates,--these take leave of him with joy, and pass away with a
look of triumph on their features.  They know, that, in spite of all his
flattering promises, he could not make them happy, but that now they
shall be so, long after Time is dead and buried.

For Time is not immortal.  Time must die, and be buried in the deep
grave of eternity.  And let him die.  From the hour when he passed forth
through the gate of Eden, till this very moment, he has gone to and fro
about the earth, staining his hands with blood, committing crimes
innumerable, and bringing misery on himself and all mankind.  Sometimes
he has been a pagan; sometimes a persecutor.  Sometimes he has spent
centuries in darkness, where he could neither read nor write.  These
were called the Dark Ages.  There has hardly been a single year, when he
has not stirred up strife among the nations.  Sometimes, as in France
less than fifty years ago, he has been seized with fits of frenzy, and
murdered thousands of innocent people at noonday.  He pretends, indeed,
that he has grown wiser and better now.  Trust him who will; for my
part, I rejoice that Time shall not live forever.  He hath an appointed
office to perform.  Let him do his task, and die.  Fresh and young as he
would make himself appear, he is already hoary with age; and the very
garments that he wears about the town were put on thousands of years
ago, and have been patched and pieced to suit the present fashion.
There is nothing new in him nor about him.  Were he to die while I am
speaking, we could not pronounce it an untimely death.  Methinks, with
his heavy heart and weary brain, Time should himself be glad to die.

Meanwhile, gentle patrons, as Time has brought round another New Year,
pray remember your poor petitioner.  For so small a lad, you will agree
that I talk pretty passably well, and have fairly earned whatever spare
specie Time has left in your pockets.  Be kind to me; and I have good
hope that Time will be kind to you.  After all the hard things which I
have said about him, he is really,--that is, if you take him for neither
more nor less than he is worth, and use him as not abusing him,--Time is
really a very tolerable old fellow, and may be endured for a little
while that we are to keep him company.  Be generous, kind patrons, to
Time's errand-boy.  So may he bring to the merchant his ship safe from
the Indies; to the lawyer, a goodly number of new suits; to the doctor,
a crowd of patients with the dyspepsia and fat purses; to the farmer, a
golden crop and a ready market; to the mechanic, steady employment and
good wages; to the idle gentleman, some honest business; to the rich,
kind hearts and liberal hands; to the poor, warm firesides and food
enough, patient spirits, and the hope of better days; to our country, a
return of specie payments; and to you, sweet maid, the youth who stole
into your dream last night!  And next New Year's Day (if I find nothing
better to do in the mean while) may Time again bring to your doors your
loving little friend,
                       THE CARRIER.





*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK, TIME'S PORTRAITURE ***
By Nathaniel Hawthorne

**** This file should be named haw7910.txt or haw7910.zip ****

Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, haw7911.txt
VERSIONS based on separate sources get new LETTER, haw7910a.txt

This eBook was produced by David Widger  [widger@cecomet.net]

Project Gutenberg eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the US
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we usually do not
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.

We are now trying to release all our eBooks one year in advance
of the official release dates, leaving time for better editing.
Please be encouraged to tell us about any error or corrections,
even years after the official publication date.

Please note neither this listing nor its contents are final til
midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
The official release date of all Project Gutenberg eBooks is at
Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month.  A
preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
and editing by those who wish to do so.

Most people start at our Web sites at:
http://gutenberg.net or
http://promo.net/pg

These Web sites include award-winning information about Project
Gutenberg, including how to donate, how to help produce our new
eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter (free!).


Those of you who want to download any eBook before announcement
can get to them as follows, and just download by date.  This is
also a good way to get them instantly upon announcement, as the
indexes our cataloguers produce obviously take a while after an
announcement goes out in the Project Gutenberg Newsletter.

http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/etext03 or
ftp://ftp.ibiblio.org/pub/docs/books/gutenberg/etext03

Or /etext02, 01, 00, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90

Just search by the first five letters of the filename you want,
as it appears in our Newsletters.


Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)

We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work.  The
time it takes us, a rather conservative estimate, is fifty hours
to get any eBook selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc.   Our
projected audience is one hundred million readers.  If the value
per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
million dollars per hour in 2002 as we release over 100 new text
files per month:  1240 more eBooks in 2001 for a total of 4000+
We are already on our way to trying for 2000 more eBooks in 2002
If they reach just 1-2% of the world's population then the total
will reach over half a trillion eBooks given away by year's end.

The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away 1 Trillion eBooks!
This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
which is only about 4% of the present number of computer users.

Here is the briefest record of our progress (* means estimated):

eBooks Year Month

    1  1971 July
   10  1991 January
  100  1994 January
 1000  1997 August
 1500  1998 October
 2000  1999 December
 2500  2000 December
 3000  2001 November
 4000  2001 October/November
 6000  2002 December*
 9000  2003 November*
10000  2004 January*


The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been created
to secure a future for Project Gutenberg into the next millennium.

We need your donations more than ever!

As of February, 2002, contributions are being solicited from people
and organizations in: Alabama, Alaska, Arkansas, Connecticut,
Delaware, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois,
Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts,
Michigan, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New
Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio,
Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South
Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West
Virginia, Wisconsin, and Wyoming.

We have filed in all 50 states now, but these are the only ones
that have responded.

As the requirements for other states are met, additions to this list
will be made and fund raising will begin in the additional states.
Please feel free to ask to check the status of your state.

In answer to various questions we have received on this:

We are constantly working on finishing the paperwork to legally
request donations in all 50 states.  If your state is not listed and
you would like to know if we have added it since the list you have,
just ask.

While we cannot solicit donations from people in states where we are
not yet registered, we know of no prohibition against accepting
donations from donors in these states who approach us with an offer to
donate.

International donations are accepted, but we don't know ANYTHING about
how to make them tax-deductible, or even if they CAN be made
deductible, and don't have the staff to handle it even if there are
ways.

Donations by check or money order may be sent to:

Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
PMB 113
1739 University Ave.
Oxford, MS 38655-4109

Contact us if you want to arrange for a wire transfer or payment
method other than by check or money order.

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation has been approved by
the US Internal Revenue Service as a 501(c)(3) organization with EIN
[Employee Identification Number] 64-622154.  Donations are
tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law.  As fund-raising
requirements for other states are met, additions to this list will be
made and fund-raising will begin in the additional states.

We need your donations more than ever!

You can get up to date donation information online at:

http://www.gutenberg.net/donation.html


***

If you can't reach Project Gutenberg,
you can always email directly to:

Michael S. Hart <hart@pobox.com>

Prof. Hart will answer or forward your message.

We would prefer to send you information by email.


**The Legal Small Print**


(Three Pages)

***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS**START***
Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers.
They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
your copy of this eBook, even if you got it for free from
someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how
you may distribute copies of this eBook if you want to.

*BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS EBOOK
By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
eBook, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive
a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this eBook by
sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
you got it from. If you received this eBook on a physical
medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.

ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM EBOOKS
This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBooks,
is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor Michael S. Hart
through the Project Gutenberg Association (the "Project").
Among other things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
distribute it in the United States without permission and
without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth
below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this eBook
under the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.

Please do not use the "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark to market
any commercial products without permission.

To create these eBooks, the Project expends considerable
efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
works. Despite these efforts, the Project's eBooks and any
medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other
things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
disk or other eBook medium, a computer virus, or computer
codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.

LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
[1] Michael Hart and the Foundation (and any other party you may
receive this eBook from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm eBook) disclaims
all liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.

If you discover a Defect in this eBook within 90 days of
receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
time to the person you received it from. If you received it
on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
copy. If you received it electronically, such person may
choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
receive it electronically.

THIS EBOOK IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
TO THE EBOOK OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE.

Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
may have other legal rights.

INDEMNITY
You will indemnify and hold Michael Hart, the Foundation,
and its trustees and agents, and any volunteers associated
with the production and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm
texts harmless, from all liability, cost and expense, including
legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any of the
following that you do or cause:  [1] distribution of this eBook,
[2] alteration, modification, or addition to the eBook,
or [3] any Defect.

DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
You may distribute copies of this eBook electronically, or by
disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
"Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
or:

[1]  Only give exact copies of it.  Among other things, this
     requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
     eBook or this "small print!" statement.  You may however,
     if you wish, distribute this eBook in machine readable
     binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
     including any form resulting from conversion by word
     processing or hypertext software, but only so long as
     *EITHER*:

     [*]  The eBook, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
          does *not* contain characters other than those
          intended by the author of the work, although tilde
          (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
          be used to convey punctuation intended by the
          author, and additional characters may be used to
          indicate hypertext links; OR

     [*]  The eBook may be readily converted by the reader at
          no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
          form by the program that displays the eBook (as is
          the case, for instance, with most word processors);
          OR

     [*]  You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
          no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
          eBook in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
          or other equivalent proprietary form).

[2]  Honor the eBook refund and replacement provisions of this
     "Small Print!" statement.

[3]  Pay a trademark license fee to the Foundation of 20% of the
     gross profits you derive calculated using the method you
     already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  If you
     don't derive profits, no royalty is due.  Royalties are
     payable to "Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation"
     the 60 days following each date you prepare (or were
     legally required to prepare) your annual (or equivalent
     periodic) tax return.  Please contact us beforehand to
     let us know your plans and to work out the details.

WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
Project Gutenberg is dedicated to increasing the number of
public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed
in machine readable form.

The Project gratefully accepts contributions of money, time,
public domain materials, or royalty free copyright licenses.
Money should be paid to the:
"Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

If you are interested in contributing scanning equipment or
software or other items, please contact Michael Hart at:
hart@pobox.com

[Portions of this eBook's header and trailer may be reprinted only
when distributed free of all fees.  Copyright (C) 2001, 2002 by
Michael S. Hart.  Project Gutenberg is a TradeMark and may not be
used in any sales of Project Gutenberg eBooks or other materials be
they hardware or software or any other related product without
express permission.]

*END THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN EBOOKS*Ver.02/11/02*END*