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Title: The Foundling
       or, The Child of Providence


Author: John Church



Release Date: October 6, 2018  [eBook #58039]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)


***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FOUNDLING***

Transcribed from the 1823 R. Weston edition by David Price, email [email protected]

THE
FOUNDLING;
OR, THE
CHILD OF PROVIDENCE.

In Two Parts.

WRITTEN BY HIMSELF.

“He found him in a desert land, and in the waste howling
wilderness: he led him about; he instructed him; he kept
him as the apple of his eye.”

Deuteronomy xxxii. v. 10.

London:
PRINTED FOR THE AUTHOR, AND SOLD AT THE SURREY TABERNACLE.

1823.

p. iiR. WESTON, PRINTER, CROSBY ROW, BOROUGH.

p. iiiINTRODUCTORY DIALOGUE.

Investigator and Friendly.

Investigator.—Good morning, sir.

Friendly.—Good morning.

Investigator.—How is your health, and your mind?

Friendly.—Why, sir, much as usual; God has blessed me with tolerable health and spirits, which I consider great mercies, amidst so many exercises of body and mind: I am, at times, weak in my nerves, but most wonderfully upheld, and sometimes dejected in mind, through the variety of inward and outward conflicts which God has given to me, to be exercised with beneath the sun: both body and mind are affected with the fretting leprosy, and though often healed by a look from the Great High Priest, and by the application of his all-cleansing sacrifice, and the oil of his comforting and sanctifying spirit; yet the plague frequently breaks out again, and it will be the case, I suppose, till this leprous house is pulled down, p. ivthe stone, the timber and the mortar, and carried to the grave.—Leviticus, xiv.  But may I be permitted to ask the reason of your calling this morning?

Investigator.—Why, sir, I hope I am not intruding on your time, but I have long desired an interview with you; for having occasion to travel much, for many years, I have frequently heard your name mentioned, both in public and private, sometimes with credit, honour, and pleasure with pity and commiseration.  I have also met with some persons who are, I believe, very spiritual and consistent, God-fearing persons, who have heard you preach, both in town and country, and read your publications with profit and pleasure; but, alas! I have also heard your name treated with the utmost scorn and contempt, stigmatized as the vilest miscreant, the most abominable wretch, advancing the most dreadful antinomianism, living the most dissolute life, and as industriously circulating the most licentious doctrines, totally subversive of all morality and common honesty.

Friendly.—Well, sir, really these are awful charges, and as they have been so many years propagating, I almost wonder these calumniators are not tired of talking about one so unworthy of their notice; but I guess who that ever-restless agent is, who them, going about; (1 Peter, v. 8.) this p. vis the roving commission he has received; and he must fulfill it.

Investigator.—But is it not strange, sir, so many pretended advocates for morality, holiness, and the moral law, should exert all their influence to suppress the truths you preach; and employ so many hands to write, print, publish, and circulate your history in the most degrading manner possible?

Friendly.—It is so, but there is no new thing under the sun; various indeed, are the motives of such calumniators; some degrade me to cover their own infamy; some from pharisaic principles; some to exalt themselves upon my ruin; some to please those above them, and some to gain money by it, which they have, and to which I have no objection, had they not filled their pages with so many palpable falsehoods, which have disgraced the writer, and shewn the malignity of their spirits.  These infamous squibs have been sent to the four winds of heaven, to Wales, Ireland, Scotland, America, the East and West Indies, and to almost every county and village in England, in twopenny, fourpenny, and sixpenny pamphlets; each containing from one to two hundred well-known falsehoods.

Investigator.—Yes, I believe that not less than twenty thousand such scandalous pamphlets have been published, and circulated.

p. viFriendly.—But can you form any idea who were the ringleaders of so much infamy?

Investigator.—I have heard say they were persons who are perpetually pleading for the moral law, as the rule of their lives, although that holy law strictly forbids such conduct, because it is a violation of these two prohibitions: “Thou shalt do no murder;” “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour;” and its language is, owe no man any thing, but love for love is the fulfilling of the law.  But I think I could give you an intimation of some of the persons; one was the Rev. Dr. Diotrephes. (2 John)—another was Alexander, the coppersmith, who is always currying favour with the above doctor: these, I know, were very industrious, in writing, publishing, and running about from house to house, or rather, like hawking pedlars, with their bad ware, which conduct is strictly forbidden.  Lev. xix. 26.

Friendly.—But as it was zeal for holiness, I pardon it; they were mistaken men, and though they have done me much injury, I believe God has resented their conduct, by mortifying their pride.  All public characters that God has blessed, must expect evil surmising, ill-grounded jealousies, awful insinuations, vile aspersions, whisperings, and back-bitings; and why should I escape?  In whatever I p. viihave offended, I am willing to acknowledge it: but surely, I have no just right to acknowledge their lies.

Investigator.—My heart has been grieved to read the vile publications which have been circulated under the title of, the life of J. C.  I have thought, at times, none could know so much of his history as himself; and have frequently wished to know something, in reality, of your eventful story.—In this wish, I believe, many hundreds concur; therefore, to oblige your friends, and to confound your foes on that subject, it would be gratifying their desires to make your life public.

Friendly.—Why, it might, in some sense, be so to them; and especially, as I trust it would be magnifying the grace of that great God, who has done so much for me, which I hope will be my principal motive; but it will expose me to the contempt of fools, and perhaps add additional persecution to my friends.

Investigator.—Suppose it does; your enemies cannot say worse of you than they have said; they have gone to the very utmost in scandal, and no further than the infamous name given to your Master, who was holy, harmless, and undefiled.  They said he had a devil; yea, that he was the prince of devils.  There is another advantage in your compliance with p. viiithe request of your friends; it will confute the falsehoods which have been fabricated about your history, and prevent your enemies from adding sin to sin, by any further false statements of the matter: therefore, like the memoirs of most gospel preachers, it must expect all sorts of mis-statement.  Some will rejoice in what God has done for you; others will say it is lies; some, more candid, will wish you had omitted many parts, and others will wish you had not mentioned many circumstances; but write TRUTH, and leave the consequences.

Friendly.—Well, I promise, through mercy, so to do.  I will write the bad as well as the good, as far as prudence dictates.

Investigator.—The Lord be thy helper, and kind remembrancer, and give his approbation to the work, by blessing it to his own people.—Farewell.

And though pretended friends have aim’d to wound thy heart,
And household friends in that have borne a part;
Yet, each appointment came to thee for good,
To make thee joyful in thy Saviour God.

Friendly.—I thank you; I will send a few particulars of my history in letters to my friends.—

Farewell.

p. 9PART I.

Juvenile Days—Apprenticeship—Marriage—Engagements—Call to the Ministry—Baptism—Checquered Scenes—Sore Trials—Removals—Trial—Building—Prosperity—Fresh Troubles—Imprisonment—Enlargements—Mercies.

LETTER I.

“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb?  Yea, she may forget, yet will not I forget thee, saith the Lord.”

To —

Your Christian affection and maternal concern for me, so many years, entitle you to this acknowledgment.  The holy apostle, in his directions to his son Timothy, advises to entreat the elder brethren in the church as fathers; the younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, with all purity.—1st Epist. Tim. 1, 2.  I am most sensibly alive to every feeling of p. 10gratitude, for your long and unwearied kindness—your many prayers for my present and my eternal good—your tears on account of my troubles, and your best wishes for the sanctification of them, that I may be delivered from sin, the worst of evils, from error, as derogatory to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ, and from all the traps, snares, and temptations which may be laid for my feet, and which might bring me into bondage; the Lord reward thy kindness, and may a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou hast been enabled to trust.  It has been the desire of many to be acquainted with the earlier part of my life, my birth, parentage, education, and how the Lord has manifested his good hand to me in a way of providence, and his Spirit’s operations in away of grace.

With respect to my birth and parentage, I know nothing; nor did I ever hear of any one that ever did.  I never could gain the least information of my parents, from any quarter, nor ever hear of a relative of any description.  I never knew a mother’s care, nor a father’s fostering hand.  Many times, when a boy of only eight years of age, have I reflected my case was hard.  I have sat under the trees at the Foundling Hospital, and wept that I had no mother; and when the nurses from the country came to see other boys, and given them little presents, there was none for me; and when the kiss went round, there was no kiss for me.  I said nothing; but tears might have told what I felt, and what they meant.  Sometimes p. 11I heard that some boys had found their mothers, but that was never my lot.  No kind mother owned me.  This would make me weep again.  Often have I observed, when in the chapel of the hospital, some persons would sit and look at the children in the gallery with seeming anxiety; as if they were their own, though they dared not acknowledge them, and singling out one and another, they used to send them presents.  Perhaps, thought I, my dear mother may be among them, but dare not own me.  But who can tell her feelings?  I used often to repeat the 10th verse of the 27th Psalm, though I knew not its real excellencies: “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.”  This was true in my case, in more senses than one.  I have often reflected, and do to this day, how it is possible for a mother to forsake her child.  Divine truth has declared it possible.  Yea, she may forget the son of her womb, a sucking child.  One would think it almost impossible; but, mothers, yes, even mothers, may monsters prove.

I refer you, my dear friend, to a remark of good Mr. Hervey, on the text, Isaiah, xlix. 15, in his Contemplations on the Starry Heavens, towards the close of the chapter.  Let me beg you to read it.  I must observe to you, it has been questioned, whether a person, who is left an orphan, can ever glance a thought, or feel any attachment to his unknown parents?  Perhaps not, in general; but mankind differ as widely in their feelings as in their gestures.  It was not my p. 12case, but the contrary; as many reasons might be assigned for my situation in the Foundling.  Perhaps I had an affectionate mother, but the cruel hand of death deprived me of her maternal care; and interest being made for me, I was admitted into that kind asylum—or, for some unknown cause, she might have been driven to a foreign clime, no more to return—or, I might have been stolen away from her by some proud being to hide a mother’s disgrace, after falling a victim to the accursed seducer, I might have been forced from her by some relentless hand, to obtain property, and placed where she was never to see me more—or, perhaps, her affectionate husband might have been called to fight the battles of his country, on sea or land, in the year 1780, in which I was born.  An affectionate wife, left pregnant, the news of the death of a husband might have hurried me into the world, and taken her out.  So that, amidst the many calamities to which the female sex are liable, it is hard to judge the cause why I was forsaken.  This is true, that I have two particular marks, with which I was found; marks evidently given with some intention of finding me by, another day—one on my back, and another apparently made by a red hot wire on the back of my hand, which is still visible.  This method of marking has frequently been the case.  Thus I was an orphan—

Left on the world’s bleak waste, forlorn,
In sin conceiv’d, to sorrow born;
No guide, the dreary maze to tread,
Above, no friendly shelter spread.

p. 13Alone, amidst surrounding strife,
And naked to the storms of life;
Despair look’d round with aching eyes,
And sinking nature groans and sighs.

I must conclude this, by reminding you of that very precious expression of Jude, the apostle, in his address to the whole church of God, sanctified by God the Father, and presented in Christ Jesus, and called the whole election of grace—were chosen in Christ Jesus, by an act of eternal love; and it is in Him they are preserved, as a jewel in a rock, till called by grace to the knowledge of God in Christ: and who can possibly conceive what they are preserved from, till that period arrives?  The dangers, perils, risks, and exposures to death, many are in, yet, O wonderful Almighty power, that keeps them till the Lord takes possession of the heart!  Surely, if there should be any recollection of these things in heaven, we shall be filled with wonder, praise and joy.

Yours, J. C.

Thy Providence my life sustain’d
   And all my wants redrest;
When in the silent womb I lay,
   Or hung upon the breast.

LETTER II.

“For in thee the fatherless findeth mercy.”

TO THE SAME.

With pleasure I renew the pleasing task of calling my infantine days to your notice.  I have already p. 14observed, I can know but very little of that subject, and can only go by mere conjecture.  I mean the cause of being left an orphan.  I know it not, but I must confess, I really believe it was contrary to the wish of my parent, that I should be separated from her.  I sometimes think she never knew where I was, or what became of me.  It has been reported that I was found in a church, perhaps St. John’s, Clerkenwell, or some other church of the name, which is the reason of my being thus named; as it has often occurred that orphans have been named from the place where they were found.  While an infant, thus exposed, it is very evident that I was admitted into that best of institutions, the Foundling Hospital; from thence I was sent to a village called Hadlow, near Tunbridge, in Kent: here I was carefully nursed, by a very kind woman; where I continued till I was five or six years of age.  I do not recollect any person coming to see me at that period, to shew me any particular favours.  I was again brought back to the Foundling, though not without many tears, which the nurse shed at parting with me; she would fain have kept me as her own, but she was obliged, though with much reluctance, to give me up.  I continued at the hospital till I was ten years and a half old, but was never visited by any one.  Yet, notwithstanding this seeming neglect, I could not divest mind of the idea that my mother was then alive, and often experienced an aching heart, and the most anxious solicitude for me.  Perhaps this was not the case; but I still think that she did intend, at some p. 15future period, to search for, and own me.  This I gather, only from the trivial circumstance of the marks found on me, which perhaps she put, when she was apprehensive I should be taken from her.  I cannot pass by one little circumstance, which I must relate: we well know that the relation of it will be turned into mere ridicule; I have no objection to that, nor do I wish to impose upon the weak and credulous.  I will only relate a matter of fact, which occurred to me some years ago.  I had been to a late lecture, one Monday night, in the month of February, 1807.  After supper, Mrs. C. being very busy at the time, and not being tired, I sat down to write to a most intimate friend, who is now in glory.  Mrs. C. ever anxious for my comfort, reminded me I had to rise early in the morning, and advised me to go to rest; I was very cheerful, and we were both lively and chatty.  I mention this that you might not suppose I was dreaming.  I obeyed her, and sat at the side of the bed, and began to undress myself.  She had occasion to go to the cupboard for medicine for one of the children, which was indisposed.  She suddenly turned round, and exclaimed to me, “my dear, look! who is that?”  I turned to the wall to which she pointed, and, to my astonishment, saw the figure of a woman against the wall; but not being so much alarmed as you might suppose, and though chilled at the sight, I was willing to prevent Mrs. C. from being too much alarmed, and endeavoured to persuade her it was only the shadow of something which lay on the table, by the looking glass, which, if removed, p. 16it would disappear.  We removed them, but the figure remained.  We also carried the candle from one end of the room to the other.  All shadows occasioned by the candle, would of course remove also, but this appearance still continued.  Mrs. C. felt extremely agitated, but I bore it with uncommon fortitude, though I have no native courage.  We both sat down to see the issue.  I proposed to speak to it, but Mrs. C. begged I would not; I sat with my head upon my hand, and, in that position, smiling at it.  In a minute or two after we had sat down, to watch it, it began to disappear: I observed to Mrs. C. it is going away, it is gone: as soon as I said this it appeared as visible as ever, just like a candle sinking in the socket, apparently out, when it blazes up again, till it expires; it then gradually died away: this was about half-past eleven at night.  The appearance was the shadow of a woman, about the common height, longish vissage, and apparently genteel, though in a night dress.  This was not worked up by conversation about visions; our converse was very different, nor was it the effect of disordered nerves, as we were both uncommonly cheerful.  I did not hear of the death of any acquaintance after this, as I expected I should; so that I was led to conjecture (and it was but conjecture) that perhaps my dear mother, at that period, breathed her last, and the Lord might have indulged her with a sight of her long lost son.  Permit me just to observe, this sight of the appearance was not a passing shadow, but actually continued for nearly p. 17ten minutes.  Judge my feelings afterwards, if you can. [17]  Here I close my remarks on my mother.—Who she was, and why we were separated, the day will declare it—when every dark and mysterious providence will be unfolded, and mortality swallowed up of life.  With respect to my treatment at the Foundling Hospital—I speak it to the honour of the Governors of that excellent place,—the treatment of the children is admirable, the food is good, the master, mistresses, and nurses, are kind—and were I dying, and leaving orphan children behind me, with the promise they should be nursed there, I should die happy on that subject.  I will give you a particular account of the place in as few words as I can comprise it in the compass of my next letter.  Many mothers are indeed the objects of pity.  Perhaps allured by promises of marriage, till the villain, her seducer, has effected his purpose, when she is left an object of sorrow, contempt and woe.  The seducer is a robber and a murderer; he robs parents of their daughters, he murders the daughter’s reputation, and perhaps becomes accessary to the murder of the fruit of his villainy; and when he has triumphed p. 18over the fond maid to whom he has sworn eternal love, and a speedy marriage.  He leaves the aged father to exclaim, in the words of the Beggars’s Petition:—

“My daughter, once the comfort of my age,
   Lur’d by a villain from her native home;
Is cast, abandon’d on the world’s wide stage,
   And doom’d in scanty poverty to roam.”

Perhaps there is not a greater display of villainy than seduction.  Nothing more common in this country, nor any thing so vile in the sight of a Holy God.  Next to the contempt of the gospel, many indeed have been raised up from that fall by the kind hand of God, and have become excellent characters: and not a few have been called by divine grace to the knowledge of Christ.  And as a proof the Lord Jesus does not disdain any one poor sinner, who is by the Spirit turned from the error of his ways, the Lord has particularly marked down his special love.  This is evident in the history of Tamar, the daughter of Judah; Rahab, the harlot; Mary Magdalen; nor can I forget the poor woman taken in adultery. (John, viii.)  It is very remarkable, there was not one word said of the man who was guilty of the act, (perhaps one of the doctors themselves) who brought the trembling woman to Christ.  All the sin and shame is thrown upon the poor woman, while the seducer and more relentless is passed by; and, perhaps, to the shame of our nature, applauded.  But not so in the eyes of a sin-avenging God.  Many p. 19fallen women have been restored by grace, while many seducers are plunged into the howlings of the damned.

Wishing my Dear Friend the triumph of grace,

I remain, yours, J. C.

Though friends or kindred near and dear,
   Leave me to want or die;
My God has made my life his care,
   And all my needs supply.

LETTER III.

“When thou wast under the fig tree I saw thee.”

To —

My Dear Friend.—What does this motto remind you of?  I dare say you will never forget the happy moment in which you enjoyed the love of God to your soul; while I, the most unworthy, was discoursing on this text; it is very blessed to look back, at times, at such Bethel visits; thine ears shall hear a voice behind thee; this voice of past experience must be attended to; thou shalt remember all the way the Lord thy God has led thee; and, permit me to assure you, every such gracious visit as you experienced at that time, is nothing less than a manifestation of electing, redeeming, and pardoning love; the assurance, yes, the very full assurance of God’s eternal choice of you in Christ, and the full forgiveness of all sins; may you be thus often favored, while travelling through the wilderness; but, how p. 20deep have you drunk of the cup of affliction, since that period? the eating the little book is truly sweet to the mouth; but there is often bitterness of soul felt after.  I have been forcibly struck with the above motto, as it related to the truly excellent apostle of our blessed Lord, Saint Bartholomew, who is called Nathaniel, in the 1st of John; it is supposed his mother hid him under a tree, when the sanguinary Herod issued out his bloody edict, to murder all the babes in Bethlehem, in order to massacre the ever-blessed Redeemer; under this tree the Lord saw him, and in due time brought him to an intimate acquaintance with himself; no doubt much more is intended by his being under the fig tree, which I pretend not to treat of now; but only to remind you, my dear friend, of that gracious hand, that constantly preserves the objects of his love, through the various dangers and perils in infancy, and the giddy scenes of youth, till called to the knowledge of Christ.  This leads me to the continuation of the subject, I have already begun to our mutual friend, Mrs. R. who, you know, is ever solicitous for my good.  I promised, in my last, to give her some account of that, which I have the highest respect for; and never see but with sacred pleasure—I mean the Foundling Hospital.  I cannot, however, proceed, till I have quoted a very important text, which is adapted, in some measure, to my case.  “Let mine outcasts dwell with thee, Moab; be thou a covert to him from the spoiler:” they are outcasts, but divine Law claims them as his own: this is the p. 21privilege of God’s own people.  This place has been, perhaps, the asylum of many a chosen vessel: and I can testify, it is a far better situation than many a boarding school; for which, parents may pay a considerable sum of money for the care of their children.  This Hospital was built by Captain Thomas Coram, who devoted his fortune to the purposes of benevolence: a fortune dearly earned, by many fatigues, and hazardous adventures, at sea: this will be to his eternal honor, with those who assisted in this laudable work.  I can scarcely ever think of this amiable man, but the words of an hymn, we used to sing at the Foundling Hospital, occur to my mind.

“For those, whose goodness founded this,
   A better house prepare,
Receive them to thy heavenly bliss,
   And nay we meet them there.”

This gentleman spent seventeen years, in endeavouring to obtain a charter, for building and establishing the Hospital, which was, at last, granted, in the year 1762; and in the first fourteen years, 14,400 helpless infants were received: in the year 1756, Parliament voted the sum of £10,000 for the support of the Charity: the next year £30,000 more was granted to it; this was encreased to £50,000, in two years more.  On its first establishment, it admitted all children, without any restrictions; but this bad plan gave much scope to the vices of the age; seductions became more prevalent; and numberless infants were torn from the affectionate p. 22embrace of their mothers, by the cruel hand of unnatural fathers: thus tender mothers were left, like Rachael, “weeping for her children, and refused to be comforted because they were not.”  Fathers became the sacrificers of their children.  Worse characters, in a certain sense, than Herod:—it is an awful thing to charge a father with such heinous intents; but it is the prevailing opinion, that if there were no Foundling Hospital in the country, or any similar institution, for the purpose of receiving the unfortunate offspring of seduction, many wicked parents would contrive some means or other of getting rid of them.  Doubtless many mothers are culpable; but it is more easy to prove, that the father is the greater murderer, who first seduced perhaps a lovely woman, and afterwards most basely, cruelly, and inhumanly deserted both mother and child.  I think the father will be found the most culpable in the last great day.  This excellent institution, speaking after the manner of men, has saved its thousands of lives, and must be reckoned amongst the rest of those excellent charities, which are the glory of British humanity, notwithstanding all the depravities of our fallen nature.  The children are under the care of the Hospital, until 21 years of age; better treatment the children cannot have; though I have sometimes thought it rather hard, that the rules of the Charily forbid, that any mother should have a personal knowledge of her child; but the governors will, at any time, inform her respecting its life and health, while under their guardianship.  p. 23Every child, I believe, is re-christened, when taken in, and consequently has a different name to that of the parents.  All hopes of seeing them again, on the mother’s part, is effectually prevented; they can never expect it, nor can it be attained, but by the knowledge and consent of the governors, unless they have it in their power to provide comfortably for them; on this condition, I have been informed, they may have them back; or they are bound apprentices.  I am sorry to say, some mothers have brutality enough scarcely ever to drop a tear over the little deserted stranger; and but few, I believe, ever make enquiry after it; but the God of mercy protects and supplies the helpless and lost,

“When parents, deaf to nature’s voice,
   Their helpless charge forsakes,
Then nature’s God, who heard our cries,
   Compassion on us takes.”

Much as I have wished, at times, to have known a mother, strange to tell, I seldom felt that desire to know my father.  Should both or either be now alive, I should be glad to have it in my power to relieve or comfort them, in their declining years, if they need it: but may we meet above; when I shall be fully satisfied with all the Lord’s dealings with me, from infancy to death.  I wish it had in my power to send you a longer and more interesting account of this place; but you may read much more of it in a little work, entitled, “An Historical Sketch of the Foundling Hospital; by a Foundling.”  p. 24Printed by M. Allen, 15, Paternoster Row.  My simple history may remind my dear friend of the gracious care of God over his servant, Moses, after the bloody decree of Pharoah, to destroy all the male of the Israelites.  Who can tell the feelings of his affectionate mother, when she laid him in the flags? and, above all, who can describe her gratitude, when the Lord directed the servant of Pharoah’s daughter to her, as the appointed nurse?  The apostle declares, his parents hid him by faith, for three months, because they saw that he was a proper child, and they were not afraid of the king’s commandment.  Many others of God’s family have been as singularly preserved: some of whom Scripture gives an account, and others it will be fully known by the general assembly of God’s saints, when Jesus shall appear in his glory, to make up his jewels.  I would, above all things, be ever in mind of that Almighty power, which preserved the human nature of the Lord Jesus in his infancy, when his parents were warned of God, to flee into Egypt, till the death of that blood-hound, Herod.  May you be often enabled to look back on that kind hand, which has thus far led you on, and has engaged never to forsake you.  To him I commit you, and remain,

Yours, J. C.

P.S.  It would swell this letter to a volume, to relate some singular circumstances of my brother foundlings, which might very much amuse you; but that would hinder this humble attempt to record the p. 25gracious dealings of God with myself.  One circumstance, I must relate in my next, which may serve to shew something of maternal affection.

“Unnumber’d comforts to my soul,
   Thy tender care bestow’d
Before my infant heart conceived,
   From whom those comforts flow’d.”

LETTER IV.

“When my father and my mother foresaketh me, the Lord taketh me up.”

TO THE SAME.

My Dear Friend,—I know not what were your sentiments, in reading my simple tale; which, by the bye, you have only to thank yourself for your trouble, as it is by your’s, and the desires of many, that I thus make public my origin, as far as I can trace it.  Your care for me, and anxiety, long manifested for my best interest, I hope I shall never lose sight of: although I am a stranger to the affection of a mother, I know not what affection she had for me.  I have heard of some, who have sought after, and dealt motherly with some of my deserted little fellows; I knew one of them, who is now living, who had been taken from his mother for reasons unknown to me; but, I have been informed, she kept her eye upon him, while an infant at nurse, and during his abode at the hospital; and when he was apprenticed, she frequently came of errands to the shop, and dealt with p. 26him for years, but did not make herself known to him.  (I judge how you would have acted; I do not think you would have kept that secret so long.)  His time was expired, and he was to seek a lodging: strange to tell, he sought, and found one at the very house his mother lived in.  After some time she invited a few friends, by the consent of her husband, to sup with her, and she, of course, invited her son.  After the supper was over, she related a very affecting story to the company, concerning her former husband, and the reasons why she was obliged to part with her child; when, to the astonishment of the young man, she made herself known to him; and, no doubt she exclaimed to him, calling him by his name, “I am your mother.”  Judge the feelings of all present.  This is the story, as related to me.  I remember the young man, when a boy with me.  This is a privilege I never had; but, blessed be God, my heavenly father has owned me, and the Church of God has also received me: she is called the mother, for, “who so doeth the will of my father, the same is my mother, my sister, and my brother.”

Nothing, of any importance, occurred to me, while in the Foundling; I was free from care, and a stranger to sorrow.  A good table provided daily; a kind master, who was a God-fearing man, and studied the welfare of the children; the schoolmistresses and nurses were all as affectionate as mothers, and the worthy governors took every care of the comfort of the Establishment.  Many poor children have their worst times in infancy, and their juvenile days; but p. 27mine were the best: I was particularly marked, by all, as a favorite, and allowed little privileges, which others had not; and when the master bought playthings for the boys, he generally gave me a book, knowing that my heart was set upon that alone; but this little Paradise must be exchanged for a wilderness of sorrow, sin, and woe.  It was customary, in those days, that any respectable person might chose an apprentice out of the hospital, at any age, as no premium was given with them.  Formerly, I believe, there was a premium, till the days of the execrable and infamous Mrs. Brownrigge, who was executed for her cruelty to some poor girls, she had out of this place, and from the parish.  I suppose the hospital being crowded, the governors were the more willing to let children go out at a very early period, to persons who engaged to take care of them.  I was chose out of the rest, as we stood in a row; the master recommended me for temper and conduct, believing the person who came to choose an apprentice was very respectable, and in about three weeks after, my new master came tor me.  I was but ten years and a half old; of course, I was bound an apprentice for nearly eleven years; this was a long time to look for.  All that knew me in the hospital, were sorry at my departure.  I trudged through the streets, and chattered with my new master, till I arrived at his house, in Great Portland Street, Mary-le-bone.  I know not how to express what a singular sensation came over me when I entered his house; a dizzines, or rather a darkness overwhelmed me, that all appeared dark p. 28about me; no doubt, this was but the native weakness of the nerves; or, if it was, as I am at times induced to think, a supernatural sensation surely it was an indication of the dark days I should now begin to feel.  Never shall I forget the grief that overcame me, the few first nights I wept aloud, I had left all that was dear to me; I was among strangers; I felt, indeed, like a deserted, a banished child: but the hand of time wiped away my grief, and a variety of new scenes began to open to my view.  I am sure, my dear friend will smile, when she can picture to herself how strange the streets appeared to me, the shops, pictures, books, and names of persons over the doors; these I used to gaze at, and rehearse when I came home, which afforded much mirth to the family.  There was one great evil attended my early departure from the Foundling; I had not attained to the use of my pen; I could read well, for being only taught my letters, and a little spelling, I was so extravagantly fond of a book, that I seized every bit of paper with any printing on it, to read it, that many were astonished to hear me read, at a very early period, with such propriety.  But, alas! just as I was put to writing, I was chose an apprentice; the person to whom I was bound, promised faithfully to put me forward in writing and arithmetic; but he broke his word, and rather objected to my reading at all, than attempted to improve, or give an opportunity for it; this has been a great grief to me, and an incalculable loss.  The business of my master, as a carver and gilder, increased so much p. 29that it was impossible for me to be spared to attend an evening academy; but I still loved reading, and generally had a book of some kind in my pocket.—After I had been apprenticed for some time, I went to see my old friends, at the Foundling, who were all rejoiced to see me; particularly the master, who bore the same respect for me till his death, which was recent; but was often sensibly touched at my train of afflictions.  There was a branch of the business in which I soon became very useful to my master, though it proved of very little use to me, at the end of my apprenticeship; and finding this, I was not taught any other branch of the trade: this was violating his agreement.  I was also the perfect slave in the house; set to every part of the vilest drudgery, and debarred that knowledge of the trade, to which I was bound an apprentice.  I believe my master had formerly been a professor; but, as his money increased, he neither professed, nor followed the religion of the Son of God; but he joined himself to a sect called the Swedenbourgians, who talked much of wisdom and charity, as a divine influence; but, this I know, my master had but little charity for me, his slave.  I often think of an expression I am told Mr. Whitfield sometimes used—“golden apprentices, silver journeymen, and iron masters; but he that endureth to the end, the same shall be saved.”  The Lord led me on from stage to stage, nor ever left me, till he had given me some blessed acquaintance with himself.  Hence the promise, “I will give them an heart to know me.”  The Lord bless you.

Yours, J. C.

p. 30To all my weak complaints and cries,
   Thy mercy lent an ear,
Before my feeble thoughts had learn’d
   To form themselves in prayer.

LETTER V.

“Who hath remembered me in my low days, for his mercy endureth for ever.”

To —

As you had some knowledge of me, during a part of my juvenile days, and have been many years an eye and an ear witness of the Lord’s dealings with me, since that period; I conceive it my duty to give you some little information of the earlier part of my life, till that time, in which we became acquainted.  Our most blessed Lord never loses sight of his dear children, although they are hid in the sand of sin, the world, or obscurity; nor should I ever have attempted to make this information public, had not my enemies invented so many awful falsehoods concerning me, and my friends entreat for my memoirs, for their own information, that they might glorify God, on my behalf, who remembered me in my low estate.  I cannot relate any thing marvelous in my case, as many can, who have been exposed to imminent peril, by sea or land.  I recollect once being out with a family, on a Sunday party, and having a glass coach for the day; I was appointed to ride behind it; this was a treat for me, though conscience, even in my state of ignorance, convinced me it was wrong, p. 31thus to violate the Lord’s day.  I am astonished at the parties of pleasure that are formed on that sacred day, in this professing country; nor do the awful judgments that have, and do constantly befal hundreds, deter from this shameful practice.  I recollect once, hearing a solemn expression from the pulpit, “O could you listen to the shrieks of the damned in hell, you would hear their exclaim ‘Sunday visiting, and Sunday pleasure taking, are my damnation.’”—But to return to the event of our coming home in the evening, I let go my hold of the coach strings, and fell backwards on the ground; here I lay for a time, almost insensible, and had it been dark, and many carriages passing at the time, I must inevitably have lost my life.  Speaking after the manner of men.  Another time, I met with an accident, in ascending a ladder, which broke under me; but, through mercy, I was thrown, I am sure, by an invisible hand, to a wall, which I was enabled to lay hold of, and was saved from broken limbs, and perhaps death.  Being employed in melting brimstone, of which our moulds, in my trade were made, I believe, through carelessness, I let it boil over, and in endeavouring to save the rest, and prevent the house from being burnt down, my hands were covered with the burning brimstone, and no further accident happened.  I might mention a variety of similar occurrences which plainly shew, to the honor of Almighty grace, that I was preserved by his hand, through the instrumentality of his holy angels, till called: “for he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all p. 32thy ways.”  What belongs to the covenant head, is most blessedly fulfilled in the covenant body.  During my apprenticeship, I waded through many toils, hardships, and much ill usage, the effects of which, I still feel in my constitution.  Such ill treatment, perhaps, I might not have received, had I been blest with the fostering hand of a parent.  Confined, at all times, at home, except when sent on errands, or to church—debarred from the society of every one, either male or female—kept to hard labour, seldom allowed a penny, often hungry and badly clothed—a slave, a drudge, and, worst of all, denied the knowledge of that business to which I was bound; these things often made me fret, and shed thousands of tears.  What will some masters have to answer for, in the day of God?  The latter part of my time, I endeavoured to form an intimacy with some females; which is very natural; but it being discovered, I was forbid to speak to them.  One of whom I promised marriage if providence should permit.  But long before my apprenticeship expired, she was married to another.  She is still alive, and she has visited me within these two years.  After I had lost her, another came to live in the house; but we were forbid all intimacy: and an old woman, a relation of the master, was appointed to watch us; so that we could not speak to each other, only when the family was gone to bed; this was running a risk: and this old plague of a woman (I suppose, having been in the oven herself) knew where, when, and how to look after us.  One trifling circumstance proved this—I am sure p. 33you will smile at the relation, and if it gives offence, I would ask pardon of my reader for the story.  The family having retired, myself and fellow-apprentice supposed to be in bed, I slipped down stairs to converse with my darling; but, alas! I was soon detected, as I heard a footstep on the stairs, when I was obliged to hide myself in the cupboard.  As soon as the person was gone, I came out of my secrecy, and we renewed our converse—but we were presently disturbed by the old woman, who was roving about the house on pretence of looking for something: hearing this, my companion shut me up in the coal cellar, but in her haste she unfortunately had not shut the door close, though she had turned the key, and taken it with her, intending to return in a few minutes—here the old woman came and found me, like Guy Fawkes, in a corner of the cellar.  This was the occasion of a sad uproar.  The young woman left her situation, and was soon afterwards married; and I was threatened with being sent to sea; the horrid thoughts of which almost broke my heart. [33]  But amidst all the hardships I endured, I never lost my bookish fit, although I had scarcely a moment’s time to read.  Every penny I got, I saved till it amounted to sixpence or a shilling, when I soon hied to the bookseller.  Many books were given me by the men who worked for p. 34my master; and when I arrived at the age of eighteen, I had a tolerable library.  It excited the jealousy of my master, to see that I was the favorite of some people, by whose means I had gained such a collection of books, and he determined to take them from me, under the pretence that I had not got them honestly:—he therefore sent for my old master at the Foundling, who advised him, if he had any complaints against me, to make them known to the Committee, at the Hospital; he did so—and I appeared before the gentlemen, to answer for myself.  This agitated me very much the night previous, but I was enabled at that time to pour out my soul in prayer, that God would be with me when I should be brought before the Governors, knowing my natural timidity.  A person also advised me to set down in writing, as far as I could remember, who gave me money at various times for the different errands I had gone upon.  The day arrived, I appeared, and the Lord opened my mouth boldly to answer all the charges.  The principal were, that I had changed my religion, and that I was in possession of a great many books which he could not account for.  To the first I fully demonstrated that I was most firmly attached to the articles, doctrines, and prayers of the Church of England, and that I went to that church where those truths were preached, the nearest of which was St. Giles in the Fields, on Sunday afternoons, where the pious and faithful Rev. Mr. Shephard preached.  This admission gave universal satisfaction; p. 35and as to my books, I presented to the Committee a sort of diary, in which I had minuted the particular persons who had given me a few pence, how I had saved them, and what books I had bought with them.  They were all perfectly satisfied with my conduct, and requested my master to restore them to me, which he did.  The following remark was of course made by all who knew it, that many had been brought before the Committee for being too bad, but never till now was any one brought for being too good.  My master lost the day, as he could lay nothing to my charge; for, indeed, it was well known I was strictly moral; I scarcely ever took the name of God in vain, and hated to hear an oath; I detested drink, excepting the weakest beverage, such as water, milk, or tea.  I never saw a play, neither in my youth, nor since: though some persons have had the impudence to assert, they have seen me at them.  I was guilty of no external enormity whatever, nor did I ever play at games, as boys do; and, sinful as I feel to this day I bless God for his keeping me by his power in youth—I do consider it a mercy to know the Lord and serve him in the days of our youth, before the heart gets hardened in folly, or wrapt up in pharisaic pride: yet I had sin enough within me, as all others have, to damn a world—which I trust has been pardoned through the ever-blessed Saviour.  May he be ever dear to your soul.

Yours, truly, J. C.

p. 36Oh, how shall words with equal warmth,
   The gratitude declare,
That glows within my grateful heart,
   But thou can’st read it there.

LETTER VI.

“Let mine outcast dwell with thee, Moab, be thou a covert to him, from the face of the spoiler.”

TO THE SAME.

My dear Friend,—Having raised your curiosity, if no more than that, you no doubt feel anxious for the continuance of my tale; which, though not half so interesting as many, yet, the truth being known, will give you some satisfaction.  After the affair of the trial I had, and gaining the day, it was not to be supposed my master was very kind, but took every opportunity of mortifying and grieving me.  But I bore it with patience till God delivered me from him.  In the year 1799 I was led to Tottenham-court Chapel, to hear the Rev. Mr. L.  His preaching seemed to strike me so forcibly, that I thought I could have followed him until death—but, oh, I have since seen it is one thing to have the passions moved, and another to experience the power of the Holy Ghost.  Having heard him a few times, as soon as he left London, I begged the Lord would grant me the pleasure to hear him often the year following, when he should return to London.  God granted this, though by terrible things.  At last the p. 37news was brought me, this gentleman would preach on such a Lord’s Day on his return to London.  I could not keep secret what I had been praying for, and it being whispered in the family, the night previous to my hearing him, the master issued out a decree, that I was not to go out of the house all day on Sunday, except in the afternoon.  Although I knew there was nothing to keep me at home, I fretted about this sadly; and when eleven o’clock came on Sunday morning, the house could no longer hold me; and, contrary to all orders, I fled like a lapwing to Tottenham-court Chapel, when with joy I beheld my favorite preacher, and with raptures heard him preach on his favorite theme, Phil. iii. 8.  I returned to dinner.  The old woman, of whom I have spoken before, observed, she had orders to go out that morning, and I was to stay at home—to which I replied, it was nothing but a plan to mortify me, as she made no preparation for going out, although it was past church-time.  She gave me a hint I should be well horse-whipped for it; this made me desperate—and in the afternoon I went out again.  In the evening I went to the Tabernacle, Moorfields, and heard a most glorious discourse on the first epistle of Jude, by my favorite preacher.  My rapturous joys were so great, I did not care what I suffered.  I thought it my duty to go where I did; although forbidden by man, it was better to obey God than man.  These were my thoughts at that time; and, as to my joys, I believe they were scarcely any but the raptures of a way-side hearer.  However, p. 38the Lord had a hand in this affair.  Nothing was said to me that evening, and getting a little more native courage than I had before, the foreman of the shop, by my wish, let me practise a little in the business to which I was bound.  This gave a fresh offence to my master, who, having got some drink, sought for a quarrel with me.  From these two circumstances, I always made it a point to be civil to all, and especially to my superiors; but I had been too easy for many years; I was nearly 20 years of age, had served above nine years of my apprenticeship, and had never been permitted to learn the business to which I was bound, and by which alone I could get my bread.  I was for the first time enabled to tell my master these things, in a very polite and becoming way, but he was so much exasperated at the moment, that he took up some heavy wood and beat me in the most cruel manner imaginable, and afterwards threw a large pan at my head, which hurt me, and of which I felt the effects for some time.  I was now roused to open my mind freely, and I assured him, that as he had made me his slave for nine years, I should make my complaint to the Committee of the Foundling Hospital, and know why I was not allowed to learn the business to which I was bound.  I accordingly left him, but could not have any immediate access to them for a fortnight; during which time the master made application to the sitting magistrate at Bow-street for a hearing; when the magistrate considered it was high time I was taken from such slavery: my indentures p. 39were of course given up, and my master and I parted for ever.  I was now, once more, cast on the wide world, without a home, without a trade, without a relation, without a friend, and but three bad halfpence in the world.  What to do I knew not.  Where to go, or how to act, I could not tell—but that Almighty angel who directed Hagar in the wilderness to a well of water, when ready to expire with want, put me in mind of a young man who was in very comfortable circumstances: to him I went, and requested him to take care of my books; for, strange to tell, I really thought more of my books than of a living at that time.  The above person not only promised to take care of them, but of me also, till I could get something to do.  I gladly accepted this offer, and had an opportunity of hearing my favorite preacher the same evening, and continued hearing him till I was fully engaged in public work myself.  But my continuance in this situation was very short, as the person who had been a flaming professor, and just going into the ministry, had taken a singular turn, and joined himself to the petty players at a little theatre.  He was constantly rehearsing speeches in plays, nor could I persuade him to attend the gospel any more.  He squandered away vast sums of money, and soon became bankrupt.  His parents had been pious people, and had lived very near, to save a fortune for this son, who presently sent it to the four winds, which is frequently the case.  How foolish and mad are parents to labour; toil, grudge, and half starve themselves, and all p. 40about them, to hoard up money for some extravagant son to squander.  “He heapeth up riches, and cannot tell who shall gather them.”  I wish some parents could read, under the influence of the Spirit of God, the book at Ecclesiastes.  I was soon obliged to leave this place; but the hand of the Lord soon appeared again, and raised me up a most invaluable friend, who is now in glory; nor less friendly were her family, who are persons of good repute in the world, and above all, in the church, worthily so.  One of them is pastor over a respectable congregation near London.  This family, well knowing what usage I had experienced, and being lovers of those who were seeking the Lord, gave me great encouragement, kindly supplied many wants, and at last took me into their business, having had some acquaintance with it, during my apprenticeship.  Here I continued, with low wages, a weak body, and hard work, but a contented mind, and an opportunity of hearing my favorite preacher, who was at this time in London, 1799.  It was at this period I first had the pleasure of getting acquainted with the daughter of our good old friend, Mr. Elliott, who brought me to visit you; and how strange the dealings of God with you since; but hitherto hath the Lord helped you.  My intimacy with this pious young woman was increased, and continued till she became my wife.  Her father had been a most respectable opulent man, in Hampshire but, through family afflictions, became reduced; he was a most pious, God-fearing man, called to the knowledge of the p. 41truth under the ministry of that apostle of the British empire, George Whitfield, whose memory was so dear to the old gentleman, that nothing could please him better than relating how God had blest his preaching; and, as he lived an humble seeker, so he died in the triumph of precious faith, having been brought into the full liberty of the gospel only a little before his dissolution; and leaving behind him two affectionate daughters, who, with many tears, deposited his remains in the burial-ground of Bunhill Fields, in the full confidence of a joyful immortality and eternal life.  You knew him well, and highly esteemed him.  About a year after this, his dear daughter and myself were married—I am sure in much love, and in nothing but poverty in prospect; but we always found the Lord a God at hand when we most needed him.  This you have been an eye and ear witness of many times; so that I can testify, that he is a prayer-hearing and prayer-answering God.  To him he glory.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER VII.

“He that hath mercy on them shall lead them.”

To —

My dear Friend.—Many years have elapsed since you first knew me in the Borough; and it was no doubt the hand of God which brought me there.  In my last letter to Mrs. W. I intimated I worked for p. 42a very worthy family in Tottenham-court Road, but my frame of body was too weak to endure it.  I sought out another situation on the Surrey side of the bridge.  Myself and fellow apprentice had lived together amicably for some years, and endured many conflicts daring our captivity.  I heard he was in business, and made application to him; he treated me with every mark of civility, and took me into the business with him.  This was a great pleasure to me, as it gave me an opportunity of acquiring a greater knowledge of that branch of the business I ought to have learnt before; but, although I had an easier situation, and every kindness which circumstances would admit of, I had another unpleasantly to cope with.  I was daily exposed to temptation, had frequent pressing invitations to places of amusement—and, although I resisted them all, through grace, yet I feared daily I should be overcome and led back into the world again.  One day I accidentally (as we call it) met with an old acquaintance who had been brought up in the Hospital with me, who recited to me the various changes he had experienced in his different situations; amongst the rest he had lived with Mr. C. a most respectable tallow chandler, in the Borough.  He told me he was a most pious man, and a good master, but he had given him some offence, and was justly dismissed.  He believed that he was then in want of a person in the shop, and to act as a porter.  On this situation I set my mind, and immediately made application for it; in fact, I begged of the Lord to let me have it.  I remember p. 43one evening I attempted to go and speak to him (Mr. C.) about it, but I was struck almost speechless in the attempt.  This I took to be an omen that God did not approve of the place for me.  I felt rebellious, and being naturally self-willed, I was determined to persevere.  My mind frequently said in prayer, “Lord, if it be thy will.”  But my heart wickedly thought and said too, “whether it is or not, I will have it.”  O, the hypocrisy of the human heart!  How often is the Almighty mocked by thousands who use this expression in prayer, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven,” and at the same time are daily acting against the revealed will of God.  How great is the forbearance of God with guilty man.  I was however indulged with this situation, though I was no more fit for it than a child; it was to carry heavy loads chiefly, yet my master was kind and patient with me, he saw my weakness and accommodated me as well as circumstances would admit.  It was in this situation you first knew me, 20 years ago.  My master, Mr. C. was an excellent one, a godly, conscientious man, and happy should I have been, had I been capacitated to have made myself useful to him.  I was much dejected and troubled in mind, low and thoughtful; and, in my business, though all saw I was willing to do what I could, yet I was much confused.  Being a pious man, he kept up family prayer in his house, and on several occasions he asked me to go to prayer, perceiving the Lord had blest me with some gifts, and he hoped grace also, and that I acted in all things p. 44unblamably.  He once mentioned something to me respecting a public ministry.  He also employed a fellow-servant, who is a God-fearing man, and who belonged to a prayer-meeting, to know my mind upon the subject.  I believe I gave him some distant hint, that my mind led a little that way, but I did not consider that I had any suitable talent, nor had I any connection that could introduce me to any means, nor could I possibly see any opening in Providence; of course I could not see I was called to such a work; for I did not believe any one was called to the public ministry of the gospel, without the Lord had given him talents suited to the work for which he intended him.  I am now speaking of his external call: the work of God on his soul, I intend to speak of elsewhere.  My master, however, recommended me to the manager of the London Itinerant Society, who, after some conversation with me, requested me to accompany a young man into one of the villages near London, to teach children in a Sunday-school.  Not knowing the nature of that work till I had embarked in it, I went for some time to Norwood, and several other places, but I was soon tired of this work.  The long journies and weak body, hard labour all the week, and an empty pocket, deprived of seeing my lover for weeks together; these externals soon made me relinquish that work: and above all the loss of that ministry I so much esteemed, and those ordinances I so much enjoyed, made my chariot-wheels drag heavily on a Sunday, so many miles to hear some dull country children p. 45say their alphabet.  Though this loss and trouble was sometimes made up by the godly converse of the teachers between the several services, and on the road home at night: this was a little reviving in my bondage.  After continuing some months with Mr. C. in the Borough, I had still an inclination to return to my own business.  Accordingly, I communicated to my invaluable master, that I had a house to work at.  We parted, by mutual agreement; he gave me an excellent character, and has ever spoken most respectfully of me, amidst all the clamour, bitterness, lies, malice, and evil-speaking I have met with; and, I believe, would have done me much good in restoring me to repute, and warding off the blow of calumny, had it been possible.  However, he spoke of me as he found me, and it would be well if every one did the same.  I now returned to my old business of gilding, at a house in the Strand where, after I had been a little while, I was married, at the New Church in the Strand, the 22d of March, 1801, two years after I left my apprenticeship.  I had now an opportunity of hearing the Word again, of going into villages when I was able, and of meeting the Itinerant Society, who met on Thursday evenings in Shoe Lane, for mutual improvement, the exercise of gifts, and the arrangements for the Lord’s Day.  I did not continue long in the Strand.  The worthy family I have spoken of before in Tottenham-court Road, had been misinformed that I was out of a situation; they kindly sent for me, and gave me as good wages p. 46as the nature of their business would admit, though they were but low.  I went on very comfortably for some years, and as I improved in my business, so I was advanced in wages.  My wife also took in work, and did all she could to render me happy; and what was very remarkable, every child which we had, the Lord graciously added some little advance to my wages.  This often stopped the mouth of unbelief, and made me contented.  Never did, perhaps, a happier pair exist for some years, than we were, till popularity and calumny spoiled all.  During my continuance with the above worthy family of the Jacksons, I had three children born.  We often had opportunities of watching the hand of God, in his kind providence; we were frequently deeply affected in reading good Mr. H’s. Bank of Faith, and we daily grew acquainted with the Lord’s goodness, which He caused to pass before us.  I look back on this time as the happiest of my days; though I had but 16 shillings a week for a time, yet this grew to 25 shillings; and, through industry and regularity, we lived—without much care of the world—much happier than those who are daily burdened with riches, or the toil of great business.  But the Lord saw fit to call me out to greater scenes; and, having but little natural wisdom or prudence, depth or foresight, in proportion to my growing popularity, I was made the dupe of intrigue, artifice, hypocrisy, cruelty, and sorrow.  Yet the Lord never withheld his mercy and his grace, nor gave me up fully to the p. 47wishes of my enemies, but by every thing he has instructed me.  For all thy people shall be taught of God.

Yours, in Him, J. C.

What thanks I owe thee, and what love;
   A boundless endless store
Shall echo through the world above,
   Till time shall be no more.

LETTER VIII.

“What man is he that feareth the Lord?  Him shall he teach in the way that he shall choose.”

To —

My dear Friend,—You well remember me, when an attendant on the society in Tottenham-court Chapel.  The Lord has called you out at times to be a public witness to his truth in several schools and villages, in the Itinerant Societies.  This is an arduous but most delightful work; and if it was the will of God, I would devote myself entirely to that sacred employment—for though you return on Sunday evening with a tired body, yet your mind is happy: not encumbered with the cares of a church, the tempers, whims, and vexations of your hearers, nor the envy of your brethren, which abounds, if you prosper—but every minister will see it needful to abide in that work in which the Lord has called him; and, like the stars, some are fixed, and some p. 48constantly moving round the sun—so it is with us; but this pleasing thought cheers us—they that turn many to righteousness, shall shine as the sun and the stars for ever and ever.—Dan. xii. 9.  What an honor conferred on such as us, to be instrumental in turning any to the righteousness of Christ, and to walk in his righteous ways!  But to return to my tale.  I had not the pleasure of going out for the London Itinerant Society many months, or for the Baptist Society—through weakness of body, the journies were too long for me—and being returned to the family of the worthies, for so I must ever denominate the Jacksons, by whom you know I was recommended to the prayer-meeting, and Expounding Society at Tottenham-court Chapel, I attended the early prayer-meeting on Sundays and Fridays.  During this time I only travelled occasionally for the Itinerant Society; but being approved of among them, and engaging in prayer with them, I was appointed to expound the Scriptures amongst them, one Thursday evening.  As I had never attempted to speak in public before, only in prayer, and some sort of addresses to children in the school, this appointment laid very heavy on my mind; a sense of unfitness, the fears of presumption, the dread of rushing into the work uncalled, and the horrors of falling into sin, and publicly exposing the cause, drove me at times to my wits ends.  Yet, a love for souls, a love of truth, and a most inveterate hatred of error; the starving state of many pious souls of villages where I had been, and the shyness of the p. 49preachers declaring the great truths of God.  These things weighed deeply on my mind, and impelled me to go forward; in the mean time, I was enabled to be looking constantly to the Lord for his approbation, his direction and blessing.  The night arrived, the society met; my name was called: I went with trembling knees, and once more offering up a petition to the Lord for help, I opened the Bible, and expounded the 1st chapter of the Revelations.  The Lord opened my mouth, and filled my lips with important matter: those who were present were astonished, though some thought the doctrine was too high.  This was the first time I ever attempted to speak from the Holy Scriptures: I was requested to speak again and again, but I only expounded the Word, as I felt my mind most at liberty upon that subject.  During this time it was also proposed that I should speak from the Word of God, at Tottenham Chapel Society, which I did several times; but there were a few of the leaders of that society who disapproved of it, urging, the manner and spirit of my exhortations were too much like Huntington’s.  I accordingly declined speaking, but was requested to continue among them in the prayer-meeting, which I did till I was called elsewhere.  I now began to fear I had presumed, in attempting to take an office upon me so high and so holy; begged the Lord to pardon me, and promised to offend no more.  I gave up the work for a season.  During this time of silence, my mind ran much upon the education of ignorant children; and I well remember, that, on one May-day, I had occasion to call p. 50on a friend in Brook-street, New Road: I saw a great crowd of children, of both sexes, around the dancing sweeps; it then occurred to my mind how useful would be a Sunday-school in this neighbourhood: I enquired if such an institution had ever been in that place, or thereabouts, and, to my astonishment, I found none; and even many old professors at Tottenham Chapel did not know what I meant.  The first thing necessary was a room, which I soon obtained, at the low rent of 1s. 6d. per week; but, how I was to get even that, and some needful books, I knew not; and, another obstacle was, whether the parents in the low neighbourhood about there, would be willing to let their children attend.  I communicated my plan to one or two others, young men who had travelled for the Itinerant Society; some of whom went abroad, and became, I hope, useful missionaries, whom I have heard, are since dead; two brothers, the Gordons, and Mr. Loveless, whose names often occurred in the Evangelical Magazine: these assisted in the work, and one young man, Mr. Dowling, who was the most active of all, and who made it his study, day and night, to be useful to the rising generation—he is now one of the most choice preachers of the age, settled at C. in Essex.  We opened the school one Sunday morning, and about seventeen children attended; in the afternoon there came double that number; the following Sunday came many more, so that we were soon obliged to seek a larger place, which was obtained in Tottenham-Court Road, near the chapel: this was also desirable, p. 51as it gave the children an opportunity of attending the Word, and making the school known.  This last place was also too small.  A large building was taken in Cleveland-street, and no school I ever heard of, sprung up so quick, was attended so well, or became so useful; this, by the blessing of God, was owing to the wise plan, and great exertions of Mr. D.  It still continues, I hear, in a very flourishing state, and though the name of its founder is buried in oblivion, yet many have cause to be thankful for the hint given me by the Lord, on a May-day.  It is now, I believe, called the Fitzroy Sabbath School. [51]  The Lord would not, however, let me be hid, and although I ceased expounding Scripture for some time, yet the Lord called me out again elsewhere.  I became a subject of some conversation, and began to be known.  There was a little society, held at a Mr. Foxwell’s, in the parish of St. Ann’s, Soho, denominated The Westminster Itinerant Society; this was but new, and so little known, that they could scarcely send to but one village.  I went one evening, in company with a friend, to this society, and found them much more lively, spiritual, and loving-hearted than any other I had ever been in.  Some one in the room hinted to the manager, that I had been used to go out teaching in villages, and he requested I would go out for them, if they were needy, to which I consented, but had no immediate appointment at that time.  This was on a Tuesday; p. 52on the following Friday, two striking portions of Scripture came into my mind very forcibly, and was opened in their meaning and connexion; nor did I lose them all the day, though I could not tell why they were thus sent.  Late at night, before I went to rest, a person (a preacher) called on me, and begged I would go, on the following Sunday, into a village called the Hyde, near Edgeware, to preach, afternoon and evening; this struck me so powerfully, I knew not how to answer him; and before I could begin my long string of objections; these words came with power: “As thy day is, so shall thy strength be.”  I did not like to give my consent, in the presence of my wife and her sister, as she was a conscientious, woman, and dreaded my rushing into the ministry, without a Divine call, as much as I did; but, after much conversation, I consented to go.  When I arose on (Saturday morning) the words, which came with power, still abode with me, and the two texts, which had dwelt on my mind, still opened to me.  On the Lord’s day I went, lifting up my heart to God, that He would be with me.  I ascended the desk, and, after reading and prayer, I took one of the two texts, which had been on my mind the two days previous—one of which was, “For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ, in God;” and the other was 1 Peter, i. 3, 7, which I preached on in the evening.  I told no one, till the close of the evening service, that it was the first time I ever attempted to preach; and they, with me, gave God the glory, that I had found him true to his word, in giving p. 53me light, comfort, utterance and consistency, just as I needed it.  It was at this time I became acquainted with our mutual friend, good Mr. Roth and family.  This was the beginning of my public ministry.  Oh, that I had adorned it better, and brought forth more fruit to the glory of Christ.

Yours truly, in Him, J. C.

Thus far the Lord has led me on,
Thus far his power prolong’d my days,
And every grand display of love
Adds fresh memorials of his grace.

LETTER IX.

“A City, set on a hill, which cannot be hid.”

TO THE SAME.

Dear Brother,—Having begun the solemn, arduous, and important work of proclaiming the name and fame of the dear God-man, I found the truth was blessed to several, and the Lord led me on.  I was presently invited to speak before the Westminster Society very often, and to preach at good Mr. Burnham’s, the Baptist Meeting, in Grafton-street, at seven o’clock in the morning; from thence to Edward-street, Soho; and, it was at this time I was providentially brought to Mrs. Bar’s, in Orange street.  I had been in the ministry a considerable time before I went there; and the occasion of my going there was simply this: a Mr. Weston, whom I had heard with pleasure, at the Adelphi Chapel, was engaged to preach at Mrs. Bar’s: I ran from my p. 54work, with my apron on, to the house, and when I came there, I found Mrs. B. had heard I was coming to hear the Word, and was asking all who came in, if their names were Church, “for” she said, “if he comes, he must speak to night, as Mr. Weston is not able to come.”  She, of course, intreated me to give an exhortation; this I did, as the people were destitute that night.  I spoke on my favorite subject, the love of Christ, John xi. 36.  The congregation being satisfied, I was invited to visit them every fortnight, which I did, being disengaged on Monday evenings.  Here I often found it good to be, and the Lord gave frequent testimonies to the Word of his Grace.  I preached several times at Dudley-court, for a Mr. Garniss; and soon after I was invited to Paddington, where I preached in a small room, till it was so crowded they thought it necessary to build a meeting, which was soon accomplished, in Bell-street, Edgeware Road, where I continued my labours as often as possible.  When I first went to Paddington, there was no gospel preached there, except by the worthy and useful philanthropic Rev. Basil Wood, whose full value will never be known in this lower world.  While thus fully employed, I was called, in providence, to Barrett’s-court, to preach in a house, where an elderly gentleman, Mr. Dunhall, had preached for some years.  I generally preached on Fridays and Sunday evenings, till the concourse of people became so great, I was sometimes alarmed for the safety of the house; it was at this place good Mr. Baker, the long and invariable friend of Mr. p. 55Huntington, heard me, as he said, with sacred pleasure, and informed Mr. H. of it.  Shortly after this, the lease being out, the preaching was given up, which I much regretted; as I had enjoyed many blessed seasons there.  I continued at my daily employment, thought over my subjects at my shop bench, and preached wherever I was invited; occasionally for the Itinerants, at Ealing, Mill Hill, Hendon, and other places, but particularly at the Hyde.  Thus my head, my heart, my tongue, feet, and hands, were perpetually employed; and I think they were the happiest moments of my life, when, like the apostle, I went forth among the Gentiles, “taking nothing of them, for his name sake.”—3 John, 7.  Having lost my favorite spot, another door opened to me.  (But more of this presently.)  I often regretted I could not hear my favorite, Mr. L. at all, as all my time was taken up, as I have just related; and having been in the ministry about two years, I was speaking one morning, at Mr. Burnham’s Meeting, upon Song iii. 4, “Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?”  When I had concluded, Mr. Jesson, who is now in heaven, came to me, and observed, I had been speaking much of the love of Christ, but the question was, had I ever kept his commandments; I told him I hoped I had, at least some of them; to which he replied, that there was one he feared I had not kept, and that was the ordinance of Baptism.  I told him I was, in a measure, convinced that adult baptism was right, but I wanted a better understanding of it, that I might see it my duty and privilege p. 56to attend to it.  This ordinance was that day to be administered, and a sermon to be preached previous to it.  I attended, and Mr. B. spoke from this text, “We use great plainness of speech.”  This was a plain sermon, on some very plain truths, and which plainly proved the doctrine was from heaven: and what was I, that I could resist the truth?  I had, before this period, seen the ordinance of believers baptism was scriptural; but I was now fully persuaded it was of Divine appointment—a sacred institution, and ought to be obeyed as a Divine command.  I had heard good Mr. Keeble, in Blandford-street, with pleasure and profit.  I knew several of the members, who were pious, discreet persons.  It was but shortly after I had heard Mr. B. as above, I proposed myself to Mr. K. as a candidate for baptism: I gave in my experience at the church-meeting, and was received without a dissenting voice, but there was a condition to be performed, to which I hastily gave my consent, which was, to decline preaching entirely, as it was not agreeable to the order of the particular Baptists, to baptize any preacher, as a preacher, without first resigning that office, submitting to baptism, and, after a period, to have his gifts tried at the church-meetings, and then, either going forward, or keeping back, as that church directed.  At first, this appeared to be right, and to this I agreed, as soon as I had taken leave of my many little congregations, I would then agree to such orders, and to this I most solemnly agreed before the deacons.  I went to all my little places, and bid them farewell, p. 57and my mind seemed a little at ease.  As I had many doubts rising in my mind, about my call to the work, I thought, in the multitude of counsellors, there would be safety if I ever was called out again; but, after a few weeks rolled away, I was deeply convinced the Lord had called me to the work of the ministry.  I constantly kept looking up to God for direction, and it came to me with great power: that as the Lord had blessed my labours to many, and as he had called me himself, qualified me, and opened doors for me, I did not think I was acting right to give it up.  Besides, the many pressing invitations on every hand, I concluded that my public work was of much greater importance than my act of baptism.  I still considered it of importance to be baptized, that it was a Divine command, and ought to be obeyed; but, why one ordinance was to jostle out another, I could not tell.  One Sunday morning, my mind was much distressed about it, and this was attended with prayer, and many tears; my wife seeing my uneasiness, reasoned with me, and told me, as God had called me to the ministry, I ought to go on; and if I saw baptism right, I could submit to that also; and, being thus fully persuaded in my own mind, that both were right, I waited on Mr. K. and opened my mind fully to him; but the good man could not alter the plan, and therefore, I gave up every idea of uniting myself to that body of Christians, and went on preaching the gospel, agreeable to the apostle’s advice, “Let every man abide in the place to which God has called him.”  I must p. 58confess I do not see the exact propriety of this method, adopted by particular Baptists.  I beg pardon if I err; but I will suppose a case: that the Lord should call forth a man to preach his word, and that man have scriptural reasons, with the testimony of God in his soul, and proof of his success, but, through some prejudice, the church disapproves of him—is that man to decline the work, because the voice of the church is not unanimous to the call?  I leave this subject for wiser heads to determine.  The apostle Paul was first converted, then he was baptized, and then he preached the gospel; and, after these things, he assayed to join himself to the church; but, this is no more rule for believers now than the manner of his conversion was for ours.  Some are gently led along, others are deeply exercised with the bondage of the law; some have had a drop of the wrath of God, on the spirit, as David, Job, Heman, and, perhaps, Paul; but, others, only have a slight apprehension of it, yet enough to shew them their need of Christ, as a surety, righteousness, atonement, and complete Saviour.  This was my case.—Grace be with you.

I remain yours, J. C.

How harsh soe’er the way,
   Dear Saviour, still lead on,
Nor leave us till we say,
   Father, thy will be done.
Finish, dear Lord, what is begun;
Choose thou the way, and still lead on.

p. 59LETTER X.

“And the Lord shall go before thee.”

To —

How dear are the saints to their Lord; and they are dear to us.  The memory of some of them is precious, especially those who have been useful to our souls.  The remembrance of our late pastor, Mr. Burnham, will ever be dear to our hearts; it was under his ministry we first met, and with him we hope to spend a blessed eternity, through the grace of our dear Lord.  The reasons for my first joining the church, under that good man’s ministry, were this; Mr. Keeble refused baptism to me, because it was disorderly to baptize a preacher without first becoming a member of that church, and being called out by that church; and having occasionally heard Mr. B. I waited on him, and related the whole business, as in my last letter.  Mr. B. was as zealous for strict order as Mr. K. but with this difference, that although I might still exercise in the sacred work constantly, yet, till I had passed the regular orders, I should not have the sanction and approbation of the church.  This sanction I doubtless considered important; and as I was privileged still to go on in the ministry, my mind was at ease on that subject.  After conversation and prayer with Mr. B. I was proposed as member to the church.  I attended, gave an account of the Lord’s dealings with me, was strictly examined by Mr. B. as to soul matters, my motives and views in joining the church, and going on in the ministry; p. 60and being satisfied himself, and the church likewise, the day was appointed for the ordinance of Baptism to be administered, I spoke, as usual, on the same Lord’s-day morning, and previous to the Baptism, chose that fine passage, 90th Psalm, “And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us.”  In the forenoon Mr. B. preached on, “For by one spirit are we all baptized into one body.”  It was an excellent sermon.  When I came to the water, I was permitted to address the audience, in which I gave my views of the ordinance, and my motives for thus obeying the command.  You remember the time, the place, and the circumstances.  I was just 28 years of age, and had been above three years in the public ministry.  The Lord, I hope, was with us.  On the following Lord’s Day, I was admitted to the Lord’s Supper with the brethren who were baptized with me—and shortly after this, I had the painful task to signify to the church my wish to have my talents tried before them, previous to their sanctioning my going out as a preacher.  I knew I had the Lord’s approbation; at least, when in a good frame of mind I both saw it and felt it; but if I had the church’s likewise, I should of course be well pleased.  Every Tuesday evening was appointed for that purpose.  The church met, and the first time I was to choose my own subject, which was John, xvi. 14.  This met with general approbation.  The next Tuesday the minister was to appoint the text, which he did, Rom. viii. 16.  This was not so much to his mind, though he approved of the p. 61truths I uttered.  The last time was by the church’s request, Rom. viii. 29, 30.  These were all approved of, but none like the first.  It was then proposed to the church, whether they considered me as called and qualified for the ministry; which was carried without a dissenting voice.  Our pastor then gave me a most solemn charge on the subject, and I believe he acted as became a Christian, a gospel minister, and a circumspect man.  I felt some sacred pleasure in this approbation, and went forth teaching and preaching.  The Lord was with me most sensibly, and many souls were edified, comforted, and built up on their most holy faith.  The Scriptures were opened to them, and God gave them light, life, love and liberty.  This I have frequently been informed of, from various quarters.  I was exceedingly partial to village preaching, and have many times regretted ever leaving it, to be settled over any people; but the Lord had ordained it otherwise before I had an existence: for He worketh all things after the counsel of his own will, and you and I know He is too wise to be mistaken.

God bless and shine upon you; and remember, they that turn many to Christ, shall shine as the stars in the firmament of heaven for ever.

Yours, J. C.

p. 62LETTER XI.

“And I will direct their work in truth.”

To —

I think the first time the Lord led you under my poor feeble ministry, was at Lant-street, Borough.  I think it necessary to inform you of the leadings of Divine Providence in that business.  While a member of the church at Grafton-street, under the ministry of Mr. B. yet continually preaching, I became acquainted with a good man, a minister of the gospel, who had received an invitation to preach at Lant-street, but being engaged elsewhere, he requested I would go in his stead, to which I consented, without asking my pastor’s opinion, or the opinion of any other discreet man: here began my popularity, and here, alas! began my misery also.  I went, and soon strutted into the pulpit with long robes, in which, at first, I felt very awkward, but it exactly met the native vanity of my heart: the chapel had been sadly deserted before, but I being a stranger, the place was crowded.  After I had preached a few times here, I continued morning and evening for some time.  No one in the Borough knew me, and it was so much the better in one sense, though not in another; for, preaching the early lecture at Mr. B’s. then coming into the Borough, preaching again, destitute of a shilling, and acquainted with no one in the neighbourhood, I was obliged to walk, perhaps in the afternoon, to Redcross-street, in the City, and back to Lant-street, to preach my fourth sermon p. 63for the day; yet, no one invited me to partake a dinner with them for some weeks; this made me faint and weary, till my circumstances were better known, and then I found the people in the Borough, and St. George’s Fields, the most generous and friendly I ever met with in my travels; but I must make you smile.  A good man, who is an excellent preacher now, and who has long known me, one day, about this time of my preaching at Lant-street, said to me, “C.  I think you play the hypocrite the best I ever knew one in my life.”  This startled me at first, till he explained himself thus: “I was hearing you at Lant-street, last Sunday, and saw you dressed in your full robes, and yet I knew you had not a shoe to your feet, and in the most indigent circumstances.”  I only replied, that I thought being poor, and seeming so, was of no use to me.  Mr. G. returned from his travels, so that my services were then wanted no more there.  Mr. G. did not know me at that time.  I knew him, having heard him once only, some years before I was in the ministry; but, hearing much of me, he sent for me, to preach, one Lord’s-day evening.  The gentleman alluded to in the beginning of this letter, was asked for some one to go into Oxfordshire; his mind ran directly to me, and he advised me to go there; and, as usual, I soon gave my consent, and went down to the place, the day before Christmas Day: the journey was long, but I arrived safe, was cordially received, and preached there on the Christmas Day; I was well received, and abode a month; the people and p. 64the managers treated me with every mark of affection, and I returned to London, loaded with their kindness.  Never having experienced such treatment before, and meeting with some experimental Christians, and many who loved the truth, the people became very dear to me; it was shortly proposed to me to settle with them, and I gave my consent.  Here I acted just as self willed as I had done before, and advised with no godly minister, or experienced people upon the subject.  It is the wisdom of the wise to understand his way, but, alas! I did not; which I see the folly of now it is too late to mend, but the Lord has borne long with my manners in the wilderness.

Yours, truly, J. C.

And while upon the earth I live,
I want the Saviour’s love in view,
And say, my God, my sins forgive,
And pardon all my virtues too.

LETTER XII.

“Behold, the day is come,” saith the Lord, “that the ploughman shall overtake the reaper.”

To —

It was the sin of Rehoboam, that he regarded the counsel of the young men, and forsook the advice of the aged; and had I listened to you, I might have escaped a thousand trials.  I am speaking after the p. 65manner of men.  If we have no native prudence it must be learnt by heavy stripes.  An imprudent man is sure to make crooked paths for his own feet; this, alas, has been my case.  You, perhaps, will remember the time when you acted as a mother to me and mine, and gave us advice respecting our removal to Banbury.  My intentions, I hope, were pure: there was a large congregation in the town, and many who loved the truth; they were a destitute people: there were about twenty villages around, where the truth was wanted.  I longed for an opportunity to give myself to study, and to be wholly devoted to the ministry: these were certainly important considerations.  The people chose me without a negative, and promised to make me comfortable.  The income was small, and having just began to be popular in London, I had, of course, many little sacrifices to make, to quit my own business, which, though the profits were small, yet, the employment was constant; my wife had to give up her’s also, which helped sometimes to render us comfortable: but money was no idol of mine, had it been, I should have looked better to my ways, and escaped a few of the many troubles I have so deeply experienced.  We were obliged to part from the little furniture we had, and to borrow twenty pounds, in order to procure what we needed, with some useful books, which I wanted, as I fully intended to devote myself to intense reading; but, I found the way of man is not in himself; it is not in man that walketh, to direct his steps.  Myself and family, five of us, arrived, p. 66through mercy, safe, and I commenced my ministerial career; was well attend at the chapel, and invited to many villages around, which I constantly visited.  I had been almost four months before I received one quarter’s salary, so that we were obliged to go in debt for every article of life; this was most distressing to us, especially as we did not receive our due, only by piece-meal; besides, several gentlemen had ordered furniture into the house, whom I, of course, concluded intended to pay for it, but we were sadly mistaken.  I laboured in many villages, travelled many tedious miles, and scarcely any one offered me a shilling, or sent me any necessary article, although their houses were loaded with bacon, their gardens with vegetables, and their trees with fruits: the only apology I can make for them is, that they did not know I wanted it, or else, I think they would have acted more kindly.  Having continued a while, and never administered the ordinance of baptism, although many were Baptists in heart, yet they did not like to take up the cross; and I, being so self-conceited, supposed, before I came among them, I should soon have the pleasure of seeing them all Baptists, and form a Baptist church in that place; but, in this I was mistaken, for God resisteth the proud; and, although many confessed it was right, there was but two who wished to obey the command.  Being, however, successful in some other way, in regard to truth, it was proposed I should be ordained among them; this was a hasty act of mine, as I was extremely uncomfortable in my situation, on account p. 67of my circumstances, but hoping the next quarter would be better, the ordination was appointed, the ministers invited; half of whom were Baptists, and half Independents: the gentlemen who officiated acted very kindly to me, gave me good private advice, and conducted the business of the day with good order and solemnity.  I never so sensibly felt the importance of my call as I did on that day, in the month of July, 1807; the ministers were the following: Mr. Reid, of Warwick, Mr. Franklin, of Coventry, Baptists; Mr. Scraggs, of Buckingham, and Mr. Taylor, of Witney, Independents.  I gave no account of my principles, and desired to say something about the Lord’s dealings with me, and my motives for going into the ministry; but, this was objected to on this occasion.  I think I shall never forget the solemnity of the day, the account of which was published in the Evangelical Magazine.  Nothing particular transpired, from the ordination in July to the following March; only that I found I should never accomplish my wish in settling the church, so that I was obligated to administer the Lord’s Supper to Independents, and the very few Baptists that were among them; my circumstances I found, got rather worse than better; this gave me much secret distress, and I often begged the Lord to let me return to London, to my old business, and friends.  I found also, that although I had an opportunity of close reading, the heart was not given me, and my active busy mind was always upon the wing, unstable and unsettled.  Constant exercise in p. 68preaching took me from home, and buried reflections.  I remember a piece of advice that was given me by a good man, whose name I have already mentioned—“Preach less, and read more.”  A number of villages welcomed me, and I was kept in perpetual exercise.  The Lord blessed the word, but I was puffed up with vanity and pride, which would, no doubt, have been my ruin; but that bladder was soon pricked with reproach, and some disgrace.  I had some scandal while at Banbury, but this was chiefly on account of my principles; except in one case, a poor spiteful Socinian asserted, that I came from the pulpit to the Lord’s table, and took the cup, and drank a health to the lovely Jesus.  This report spread far and wide, and many were much hurt about it; but, that was soon suppressed.  If it had been true, there was no such great crime in the act, as the ordinance of the Lord’s supper is designed to commemorate that spiritual and eternal health which the Saviour brought to us; and believers, drinking the same cup together, is drinking spiritual health to each other, and prosperity to the Redeemer’s kingdom.  The dear Saviour, having put away sin, and brought health and cure to his people, came to his disciples, when they were assembled, and the first kind word he said, was—“All hail!”—that is, all health.  Thus, this holy Dove appeared, with the olive branch of peace in his mouth, after the awful flood of vindictive wrath was over; and every believer, either in a greater or lesser degree, has this testimony in his own soul—that, after a season of much p. 69bondage, hardness, distress of mind, sense of divine displeasure, fears of death, and an humbling sense of guilt, vileness and distance from God, the Saviour has graciously appeared, in some way or other to them, and brought power, health, peace, and joy.  Although this seldom lasts long, yet such visits are the dealings of the spirit, demonstrating our interest in his love.  May the dear Redeemer pay you many such visits.

Yours, truly, J. C.

Oh, teach my sinful soul, to soar,
Confess the Saviour, and his steps adore;
Devoted let me live, submissive die,
And hope a glorious Paradise on high.

LETTER XIII.

“Thence will I command the serpent, and he shall bite them.”

TO THE SAME.

I have intimated my partiality to village preaching; I had my heart’s desire in this instance, but I got leanness in my soul; my home was too much deserted, and the souls of my new flock neglected; my study forsaken; my vanity fed; and though poor as a church mouse, I was as proud as the devil: this did not appear in my general deportment, but wise men saw it.  A very elegant suit of canonical robes were made a present to me, and in these, I had the vanity to strut through the town on Sunday, three p. 70times a day, to the chapel, admired by those who were as vain as myself.  Oh! what folly and vanity I see in these things now; but, I wanted to look as much like the church as I could; and what for, but merely to escape persecution, and that the offence of the cross might cease.  Flying from persecution, I met with ten thousand times worse disgrace, and my case was a little like those persons of whom the Prophet speaks; Amos, iii. 19—“I fled from a lion and a bear met me, I went into the house, and leaned on the wall, and a serpent bit me.”  About the month of March, 1808, I thought of the kindness of an old and mutual friend, Mr. Alexander, who was a deacon of Mr. G’s.; I sent him a letter, and begged to hear from him; the consequence of this was, a letter came from Mr. G. in friendly terms, to which I gave as friendly an answer.  A proposition was soon sent down, to exchange pulpits with Mr. G. for a month; and, as I longed to get to town, I was glad of the opportunity.  Some of the friends at B— had seen a book of Mr. G’s.; and they, being much pleased with it, consented to my going to town.  I came, and preached on Good Friday, and the following Sunday the chapel was thronged.  I became much known and beloved.  I had many pressing invitations to stay in town, and have since regretted I did not accept them; but, my heart felt for the flock left behind me; many letters passed to and fro between myself and friends, especially those who had advised me not to have any thing to do with Mr. G. nor to preach for him in town; I did not know who were his p. 71friends or his enemies, till they came about me like bees, and laid many things to his change.  When I found this, I felt more anxious to return, and wrote to these very professed friends accordingly, stating that I was sorry I had not taken their advice.  These friends, during my absence, had been in company with Mr. G. and had altered their minds; of course, made Mr. G. acquainted with the contents of my letters.  Mr. G. let no opportunity slip of speaking disrespectfully of me.  I however returned, and found, to my surprise, some of the most respectable of the congregation would not speak to me; this hurt my feelings not a little, but the poor of the flock still cleaved to me.  My visit in London did me much good, and the hand of the Lord was in it.  I felt, however, determined to abide in this place; till the Lord turned me out; for, I having so little native wisdom, prudence, or foresight, I knew not what to wish or do for the best.  I once more visited my villages, Bodicott, Kingham, Hook, Nortan, Middleton, Cheny, Chalcomb, Sulgrave, and many other places.  In the month of June, I received a pressing invitation to Birmingham, Warwick, Bedworth, and Coventry, which I could not accept till my wife, who was near her time, was delivered; as that was a time I perpetually dreaded, so I could not, would not leave home.  But, on the 8th of July, 1808, it being our lecture night, my wife was taken bad, and safely delivered of a daughter: my mind had been uneasy all the day, nor could I find a text in the whole Bible, to preach on in the evening; I was obligated to go p. 72to chapel without one, and after prayer could find no other text than this one word—“Farewell.”  On this I preached for some time.  Many thought, after my departure, that I never intended to return, from the singularity of my text; but, I fully intended it, nor had I the least idea of leaving them, only for a fortnight, to visit the places to which I had been invited: I proposed returning, but the Lord did not intend I should.  The next evening I preached at a village, on “These are they that came through much tribulation.”  I conversed freely, on divine subjects, with my friends, and was particularly happy in soul, as, in fact, I had been from the time I left town; yet I never dreamed of the storm at hand; but this I have known, often before a storm I have found an universal stillness; and, at times, great spirituality, nearness to God, and a brightening up of every evidence.  I mention this to the honour of God’s grace, which has been so often experienced by me.  The next morning I took leave of my family, to go my journey, and just as I was going out, a letter was brought to me, from a person, containing some very distressing charges.  I had not time to stay to clear that matter up, as I had no means of sending to the places to which I was going, to contradict, or rather postpone my visit.  I left it in the hands of a person I supposed my friend, till I returned to the town; but to that town I never did return.  I went on my journey with a heavy heart, and the most dreadful and inconceivable anguish of spirit.  The Lord enabled me to preach that evening at Kineton, and, the p. 73next day I walked ten miles further—arrived at Warwick, and preached there on Friday evening.  Ah! little did the crowded congregation think what I felt.  The next day I went further, and preached at Bedworth on Sunday three times; one of which was a charity sermon for a school.  On Monday I arrived at Coventry; on Tuesday I travelled on to Birmingham, where I was kindly received; I preached there on the Tuesday, Thursday, and the following Sunday.  While in the pulpit I was in some measure happy; but, when in company, I was wretched: solitude suited my distressed heart.  I was invited to Wolverhampton, Bilston, and Briarley-hill, and so on.  All these places I visited, and the word was well received; but, oh, my sorrows!  I cannot paint them.  I continued at Birmingham a month, or nearly so; the amiable, kind, and spiritual people I was with, saw my distress, and being invited far into the country, I felt resolved to go.  But just as I made up my mind for the journey, I received a pressing invitation to London; a chapel having been provided for me, if I would come; with which I complied immediately.  During the time I was at Birmingham many letters passed between myself and the managers at B—.  The deacons intreated my return upon certain conditions, to which I consented; but the trustees objected to it: it was amidst this pro and con that I received this letter to come to London.  My most invaluable friend in Birmingham, at whose house I was, appointed a place to meet my accusers, in company with a godly minister, and some others.  p. 74We met at a place called Chapel-house, near Chipping Norton, in Oxfordshire, and in some measure gained a satisfaction.  I returned to Birmingham, preached that night, and on the Sunday following; took my leave on Tuesday, and proceeded to London on Wednesday.  The meeting in the Borough was opened for me, and crowds soon attended.  My family came to town, and all my debts were paid in B— shortly after.  I was much grieved for the cause in B—, as there are many pious persons there, who love the truth.  Peace be with them all.  Mr. G. now received an invitation to the place, but his time was but a few weeks there.  The Lord often deals in a way of retaliation, even with his own people; but, I forbear.  I was no sooner settled at Chapel-court, but I had frequent invitations to other places: the congregation was unsettled at Grub-street: here I preached several times, for each party.  If persons fall out it is nothing to me; I have but one subject, Christ; and if that will not unite parties, nothing will.  The people behaved very kind to me; and if I could have given them satisfaction, on a certain point, no doubt I should have settled among them: but I shrunk from investigation, because I was conscious of having acted imprudently—and, as I knew: I could not be comfortable among them, nor be much credit to them, I silently evaded them all, and left my case with the great Head of the Church, who had pardoned my soul, but told me—from henceforth thou shalt have wars.—While I thus preached for them, they all acted very kind to me, p. 75especially a Mrs. Mc.  I shall meet some of them in glory, although prejudice will not let them even speak to me on earth.  This reflection as pleasant and painful, but I justify them in it.  No man upon earth so prone as I am to idolize the creature, or to lean on his puny arm; this, this is the cause of the long contention, and all my disgrace, grief, and woe.  No one could look upon my trials, but most ask—is there not a cause?

I continued at Chapel-court for some months, and preached at other places; also Bunhill-row, Glass-house Yard, and you can well remember the Lord’s-day at Waltham Abbey.  I preached at Westminster, and near Leicester-square.  My enemies were busy, but all of no avail: the Lord still led me on, though not without some trials.  In this year I was called to endure a new affliction, the loss of a darling daughter, about five or six years of age: these were feelings the most painful, but can never be described.  Having no relations in the world, I knew not what it was to lose them by death, and having so little fortitude, I was almost inconsolable.  My feelings, when seeing her depart, were such as I had been a stranger to before then.  I had seen saint and sinner depart, and had long wept with those that wept, but now it was personal.  I had preached at a friend’s house, at Camberwell, occasionally; and the evening before her death, my mind was forcibly struck with, and I preached from, Psalm cxxvi. last verse.  When I concluded, and on my road home, it appeared to me as if the text was like leaven working in my mind; p. 76it was applied to me.  The Lord knew what I should feel that night, and the next day I found my dear girl worse.  The nurse called me about half-past three; it was not quite light, the eastern sky became enlightened; a solemn stillness pervaded all nature; I stood by her bed-side, and saw her breathe her last.  I trust the morning of her better, her eternal day begun.  Happy Mary, that thy Lord called thee home so soon! and never, whilst memory holds her seat, shall I forget thy little voice, the day of thy departure—“Mary will die, and go to see the Lord.”  But this is my hope; I close these remarks on my dear girl.—

This lovely bud, so young and fair,
   Call’d hence by early doom;
Just came to shew how sweet a flower
   In Paradise would bloom.

That same evening I was obliged to preach; and no other text could I get but this—“He has done all things well.”  May I not say so now?  Another calamity came soon after: a young woman, who had lived with us at B—, as a companion to my wife, and who was exceedingly kind to her in my troubles there, had a desire to see London, and spend some time with us.  We sent for her, and she continued for about two months.  She seemed to be pious, and to understand the gospel.  She was suddenly taken ill; the faculty did not exactly understand the nature of her complaint, and although she was poorly, she expressed a desire to hear me as long as she p. 77could, and to go to the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper.  She came, but was so ill she could not attend to any thing.  She grew worse, and her head was dreadfully affected.  She at times became raving mad; but at one time she was very sensible; and while she slept, as we all thought, my wife, myself, and some other friends, were talking about the things of God, she spoke very sensibly and slowly, and suddenly uttered, “O what a mercy to be beloved of Jesus!”  I was just going to enter into conversation with her; but she grew worse, and shortly after slept in Jesus.  Glad would her dear parents have been, had they attended her; but they were near 100 miles off.  Yet we got her, perhaps, much better attendance than she could have had at home.  On account of the distance from the family, with much regret we deposited her remains in the burial-ground of Tottenham-Court Road, but in hopes of a blissful resurrection; and this blessing is sure to all who are quickened by the gracious in-dwelling of the Holy Spirit.  As it is written, Rom. viii.  “But if the Spirit of Him who raised up Jesus from the dead, dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from the dead, shall also quicken your mortal bodies, by His Spirit, that dwelleth in you.”—Grace and peace be with you.

I remain, yours, J. C.

For love like; this, ye saints arise
Superior to all earthly ties;
Proclaim the Saviour’s precious blood,
And magnify a Tri-une God!

p. 78LETTER XIV.

“Yet thou, O Lord, art in the midst of us.”

To —

I have often admired the gracious conduct of Divine Providence in bringing me acquainted with your family: I have found you faithful in gospel bonds, faithful in reproving, admonishing, instructing, and praying for me.  You was well acquainted with the cause of my leaving Chapel-court Meeting, as I could not get it as my own.  I prayed to have a place of my own, if it was an old barn; but, no doubt, this is another proof of my pride.  I have seen the sorrows of real good men, who have been turned out of their situations, and reduced to abject poverty, merely to please some bashaw deacon, or conceited trustee; and as I did not like to wear a muzzle, I chose to get a humble place of my own.  Your friendship in exerting yourself for my good, and the accommodation of the people, well succeeded, and our wishes were accomplished.  A place was to let, near the obelisk, which would contain 800 people: but, alas! we had no seats, or pulpit.  I opened it, just as it was, with a temporary stage, on which I stood.  The place was crowded; I was enabled to preach in the afternoon on “He brought me to his banqueting house, and his banner over me was love:” and in the evening, “I beseech thee shew me thy glory.”  I continued at Chapel-court some parts of the week, and Sundays, till the Obelisk Chapel was quite ready; when I gave up the former p. 79entirely, and occupied the latter.  Many a blessed season we experienced there, and the Lord confirmed the Word with signs following.  With pleasure you saw this, and fondly hoped to have seen a regular church formed, upon the Baptist order; but, perhaps, I have been culpably negligent upon that subject.  However, your desire was in a great measure fulfilled: the presence of the Lord filled the place, the Word ran, and Christ and free-grace was glorified.  Many remember the spot with pleasure, and others have gone from thence to glory.  I need not apologise for reminding you of your remarkable dream on Ezra, vii. 27, 28, “Blessed be the Lord God of our fathers, which hath put such a thing into the king’s heart, to beautify the house of the Lord, which is at Jerusalem.”  And I was strengthened, as the hand of the Lord was upon me.  The Lord be with you, while I remain,

Yours, in Him, J. C.

He never said to Jacob’s seed,
   Seek ye my face in vain;
No; he delights our souls to feed,
   That we with him may reign.

LETTER XV.

“Son of Man, shew the house to the house of Israel.”

To —

After I had been with the present congregation for some time, I thought it expedient to endeavour p. 80to bring the church into some form, and gospel order, upon the Baptist plan; but this I found a very difficult task.  The majority of hearers, were averse to the ordinances of believer’s baptism, not one of the managers did see into the nature and design of the ordinance; yet I was enabled to preach frequently on the subject, and many were soon after convinced it was their duty and privilege to submit to baptism, as well as attend the Lord’s Supper.  Some, who saw more clearly into it, waited till they were baptized, before they sat down to the Supper, knowing this was the most scriptural plan: others, who had been baptized previous to their hearing with us, desired to unite with us, but did not choose to do that till the church was more regularly formed.  And now, having a convenient place for that purpose, many came forward to be baptized; the day was appointed, and eighteen came, who I had good reason to believe were called by grace.  I preached my sermon at Horselydown, from this question of our dear Lord—“The baptism of John, was it from heaven, or of men?”  I found liberty and freedom in a scriptural statement of the nature and design of believers’ baptism.  I had nothing new to advance, but what many men of God had observed on that subject, and endeavoured to back every argument with scripture proof.  The evening arrived, and the candidates met; I conversed once more with them all, separately, in the vestry.  A good man preached the sermon, and fully confirmed what I had previously advanced.  At the close of the sermon, I gave a short address at the p. 81water.  After prayer and singing, I descended into the baptistry, for the first time, with trembling steps, yet dependent on the faithfulness of the Great Head of the Church, to his own promise—“Lo! I am with you always.”  I then led each into the water, myself, and spoke something suited to the case of every one, as we went into the water together.  I considered it most scriptural to go down with the candidates, which had a very pleasing effect upon the spectators, gave great encouragement to the candidate, and diversified the solemn scene.  This was the plan of the Rev. Mr. Burnham, which I always adopted.  In two month’s time, about thirty-five more came forward; and for the first four or five succeeding years, I had the honour to baptise upwards of fifty persons.  At one time I had forty-eight, which was very fatiguing to me.  After I had left Horselydown, we went to baptise at Worship-street.  This only occurred once, and there were near forty persons at that time.  Soon after the Lord raised me up a place of my own, and we built an excellent baptistry there, in which many have been baptised, some of whom are now in glory, many are growing in grace, and continue amongst us, while others are gone to other places, that other ministers might fill up their cup of consolation.  I have heard but of very few that have gone back into the world, and they are not out of the reach of mercy, unless any of them have sinned “the sin unto death.”  But, notwithstanding so many were baptised, I had not power to form the church after the particular Baptist p. 82plan, but was obligated to admit those of God’s dear children, who could not yet see it right to be baptized.  As these persons gave every evidence that they belonged to God, I saw no impropriety in sitting down with such at the Lord’s table.  I am well aware that it was not so in the apostolic age; then, the church was of one heart, and one soul, but it is not so now, in external matters; and as the Saviour admits them to communion with himself, I see no reason why we should exclude them, because they do not see exactly with us into this ordinance: I wish all the church throughout the world did see it exactly as the scriptures have laid it down; but that they will not do, till the Holy Spirit is again poured out in the latter-day glory, of which happy time the apostolic age was a prelude.  There was a period when I did not see the order of the church to be of that importance I now do.  My whole attention, out of the pulpit, was to manage that business as well as I could, assisted by men of faith, prayer, and wisdom.  We have since formed the church, the articles of which are printed in the first volume of the “Voice of Faith.”  The Lord keeps us walking in his own appointed way, adorning the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things.

Yours, J. C.

Make me obsequious to thy will,
While journeying hence to Zion’s hill;
Within thine arms, O let me be,
For ever folded near to thee.

p. 83LETTER XVI.

“Arise and thresh, O daughter of Zion.”

To —

As through grace you have been an eye and ear witness to the Lord’s dealings with me, and to the testimony which he has borne to the word of his grace (however weak the instrument) in town, so you have heard of some success I have had in the country.  Various have been my journies, and scarcely have I ever heard of one in vain.  Soon alter the death of my dear girl, I was invited to take a journey to Sheerness.  When I arrived, some who had heard me preach in town, and others who had beard of me, came to solicit me to preach in that place.  The minister was requested the use of his pulpit, but he denied it at first, which threw a general damp upon them all.  However, I was impressed that the Lord had intended me to preach there, and when I got alone, I begged of the Lord to shew me his mind, which he did in his Word, by this text, which I opened upon—“I will give thee the opening of the mouth unto them.”  When my friends assembled around me again, each giving their various opinions, I told them I should surely preach to them.  The next day I wrote a polite note to the minister myself, and in the evening he as politely came to invite me.  The Lord opened my mouth, and the dew descended on the barn floor.  This was an enlivening and a quickening time.  Many, and especially the Baptists, p. 84were stirred up, and shortly built a small place for themselves, in which I shortly after preached.  I believe a church is since formed in the place, and godly Baptist ministers supply it.  The Lord also opened the meeting at Strood, and enabled me to proclaim the unsearchable riches of Christ to the joy of some good old-established Christians, who had long sat under the truth, and were blessed with that charity that rejoiceth not in error, but rejoiceth in the truth.  Many remember those visits, and although I shall never see them more in this world, yet I trust that truth that has made us free will bring us home to the enjoyment of the God of truth.  In the year 1811, I opened a Monday-evening lecture at Horselydown, and another at the Welsh meeting at Lambeth, where I continued some years, till Providence altered the circumstances of these places; also at Little Providence Chapel, in Holborn, where the Lord met many precious souls, and highly honoured me, to bring in some of his people: as it is written, Isaiah lxvi.  “And they shall bring in your brethren for an offering unto the Lord, out of all nations, upon horses and in chariots, and in litters, and upon mules, and upon swift beasts, to my holy mountain, saith the Lord.”

Yours, J. C.

P.S.  I was very partial to travelling from place to place, but the Lord has cured me of that roving fit, and I have scarcely a desire left me of ever leaving my own place: for, sometimes it is found true what p. 85Solomon says—“As a bird that leaveth his nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place.”

May God the Spirit free impart
Fresh life and vigour to the heart;
And with a living coal inflame,
To speak the honours of his name.

LETTER XVII.

“The Lord is my helper and my deliverer.”

To —

There are some few periods in our lives when we may be said to sit still and be at ease; but there are other times we could particularly mention, when trouble abounds—as Job expresses it, “Thou breakest me with breach upon breach;” or, as David says, “Deep calleth unto deep, but the Lord will command his loving kindness in the day-time.”  This was my experience from the 1st of January, 1813, to the 12th of July.  No sooner had the year commenced, but having occasion to pass through Blackfriars-road, I saw in the shop-window of a printer and bookseller, an infamous and daringly-printed paper, including the fac-simile of a letter said to have been written by me to an awful character; in which I had included a guinea, to assist him.  This piece of effrontery hurt my mind, but I was enabled to bear it, and preached a sermon the same evening, on “They shall call his name Emanuel, God with us.”  The above letters were bought by hundreds, friends and foes: I took no notice of it, and presently came out many editions, with great additions.  Soon after this every corner of the streets p. 86and every lamp-post had a placard posted, with these elegant words, in capital letters, “JOHN CHURCH, INCARNATE DEVIL,” and these were interlined with many awful scriptures, against uncleanness of every description; [86] but this failing of its intended plan, to rouse public indignation, another method was resorted to.  Some pretendedly pious young men were employed to read these papers, with an audible voice, at the Obelisk, on Sunday mornings, as the Congregation were coming to chapel; this was going out into the highways, indeed, and gathering as they could, some good and some bad—the effect was, many disputes amongst them.  The public-houses were filled; and, for several Lord’s-days a vast mob assembled around the door, but peaceably, and all was peace within.  I continued my labours’ six times a week; yet not without much inward grief.  Some warm but indiscreet friends were determined to apprehend the first that made any disturbance, and no one seemed very forward to do that, except one young man, who was observed to frequent the mob: he was taken to the watch-house by order of the managers of the chapel, who charged him with a breach of the peace, but when he was brought before a magistrate, who was no friend of mine, he complained of my conduct to his brother, twelve years before that period.  I was of course sent for, and went without any warrant being issued p. 87out against me.  I made my appearance, and a very worthy magistrate bound it over for trial, at the Middlesex sessions, alledging it would give greater public satisfaction.  All things were now peaceable till July 12.  The time came on, and the trial took place, at which I was honourably acquitted.  The chairman who tried the cause declared he never witnessed so malignant a prosecution before.  We had peace once more in our borders, and prosperity in our palaces.  I then explained the former case mentioned in this letter, concerning the infamous person to whom I had acted as a benefactor.  The case was this: in the month of September, 1812, a person called on me.  Mrs. C. who was blessed with a astonishing gift of discernment of character, came to my study, and said a person below wanted to see me—“but,” she added, “I don’t much admire his looks.”  However, I came down, and she listened at the nearest window, anxious to know his business.  He accosted me with “Sir, you don’t know me, but I have been unfortunately in prison a long time.  I was formerly in the public line, and wish to go in it again.  Many have helped me, and I hope you will take it into consideration also.”  I told him if he would leave his address, I would certainly pay some attention to it, but could not stay then.  In a few days time I went to the house he had directed me, and found, as far as I could see, every thing respectable; and an old gentleman assured me that the case was a very distressing one, and that the poor man was then in the spunging-house, put in that p. 88day by his brewer.  This had all the appearance of truth; I felt for his situation; and the next day wrote the letter which was afterwards handled against me.  But I believe it was nothing else but envy on the part of my opponent, who had borne a name so many years for his alms-giving, as though nobody could give an alms but himself.  Not all the world can persuade me that the opposition made to me was from any other motive.  Although zeal for the moral law was the plea, yet, that very person always acted contrary to the law, in every such act of opposition.  But to return, the above ungrateful wretch had no sooner received my donation, than he sent a woman, purporting to be his wife, to solicit more money.  Mrs. C. gave her an answer, assuring her that I had contributed generously to his wants, and could do no more for him, or for any one else, yet:—but the woman, not contented with that answer, replied, in an insulting manner, “Well, if Mr. C. does not choose to do it, he shall repent it as long as he lives; for I’ll go to Mr. D— directly, and tell him what I know will please him, against Mr. C.”  The Doctor not being returned to town, the woman waited till he did, and then visited him, well knowing the above gentleman would jump for joy, if he could find out any thing amiss in my conduct, so as to fix the name of Antinomian in reality.  Report says, he visited this infamous character in prison, and gave him two guineas for the letter.  Many others of the holy contenders for the moral law, paid him a visit, and gave him money likewise, so that he made his p. 89boast he had but one guinea from me, but he got near forty guineas out of the Doctor and his people.  The letter was soon engraved, at the Doctor’s expense, and thousands of them printed and sent into the world.  And what harm did this do me? but send crowds to hear me preach, who filled the chapel so much, that we were obliged to look out for a much larger place.  The infamy of this notorious character being so fully known, his palpable falsehoods respecting my visiting his infamous house, were discredited by any reasonable being; and as his testimony would not be taken in a court of justice, there was no reason why it should be taken in the courts of the Lord’s house.  I relieved him from the purest motives of benevolence, as I have many hundreds beside, who are living witnesses of it.  I acknowledge I have not been so discriminating in my acts of beneficence as I ought to have been: but I could never bear to send away empty from my door the petitioner for relief, whether good or bad, if I could relieve them, remembering, the advice and example of our Divine Lord, Acts xx. 35.  And as to impositions, those who are kind to the poor must always expect it, both in the church and in the world.  And if the most knowing of the benevolent are so often duped, you cannot wonder at my meeting with such characters; for it is a well-known truth, that if there is a flat in the world, a sharper will find him out: and, supposing my holy enemies to have acted from the very best motives, it their searching out my supposed faults, in doing so p. 90have they acted agreeable to the holy law of God, or to any of the precepts of the New Testament?  I believe not.  If it was criminal in my relieving a bad character with one guinea, [90] was it not more criminal in my persecutors to relieve him with forty guineas; or to put themselves to the vast expense of supplying whole columns of trash, pregnant with falsehoods, for the “Weekly Dispatch.”  But you know this sort of conduct is pretended zeal for that very law that curses them for their hypocrisy.—Farewell.

From Christ my mercies flow,
   In pearly drops they fall;
Lord give a thankful bosom to
   The sweetest pearl of all.

LETTER XVIII.

“He hath scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.”

To —

It would fill no small volume to relate the particulars of the bustle which took place in the above affair.  The zeal, vigilance, activity and expense which so many put themselves to was really laughable.  The above Doctor and his understrappers were all upon the alert, all the filth, lies, and rubbish that could be collected together, were brought him; these he put in order, fled to the printer with, and which were soon exposed for sale, no doubt for the benefit of the poor (to add to charity’s fame).  This being calculated to disturb the peace, the printer was bound to keep the peace, by one of the magistrates, p. 91which put an end to the sale of this rubbish.  But the Doctor had recourse to another expedient; he crossed the water to an awful enemy to all spiritual religion, and furnished him with plenty of the same rubbish for a Sunday Newspaper.  I saw him enter the above shop myself, and I then told many persons we should have another budget of lies out next Sunday.  Nor was I mistaken.  This holy advocate for the suppression of vice, and keeping the Sabbath holy, now gave plenty of matter for the encouragement of vice, and the profanation of that day.  Public-houses were again well stored, [91] to read about the infamous J. C.—Jews and Infidels, professed Christians, and profound Deists.  There were “Parthians, Medes and Elamites, dwellers in Messopotamia, Egyptians and strangers,” all in a bustle.  Some running one way, some another; one post ran to meet another, as if the city had been taken at both ends.  Every one who had a little hope of interest picked up a stone, wrote a letter to his Holiness, or ran with some account of some bad action, some love letter I had written, some bad house I had visited—though as false as God was true.  Yet this was credited, and swallowed down wholesale.  Vast crowds assembled round the chapel on Sunday nights, so that the congregation had to pass through them as the Israelites through the Red Sea; but not a dog moved his tongue at them.  Printing scurrillity was kept on weekly, till the public got tired of the p. 92old story over and over again.  Nor were some of my well-wishers idle; some, in warmth, retaliated; others, more prudently, wrote mildly, and remonstrated in a scriptural manner with the Doctor, by word and writing.  Some exercised their pens in satire and poetical effusions.  Some of the copies of these I have still by me, and would present them to you, but they would take up too much room.  And what good did all this do?  None, but hurt the rising generation, and exposed the cause of God to ridicule.  On the part of those adversaries who are zealous for the moral law, as their rule of life, surely they acted contrary to every law, to the ten commandments, the Judaical law of Moses, the gospel in every doctrine, and in every precept; the laws of wisdom, love, and kindness, and the excellent laws of our country.  But I forgive them; and the only apology I can make for them is, that they did it with a good intent, and out of love to my soul; this was equally as loving to me, as the Hibernian woman to her husband, who being condemned to be hung clung round her dearest dear, reminded him how much she loved him, and said, as a proof of it, she came that morning to hang him herself, as she might as well have the money for it as any body else.—This was love indeed.—Farewell.

Yours, J. C.

When men of spite against me join,
They are the sword, the hand is thine.

P.S.  Many wondered that I did not punish the p. 93weekly scribblers, but no; I am forbid I Corinth, vi. 1.  And if I had a mind for it, they kept out of the way, either by the rules of the Fleet or the Bench—and what is the use of pursuing a flea? as David said to Saul—1 Sam. xxiv. 14.

LETTER XIX.

“We know that all things work together for good, to those that love God.”

To —

As the congregation was so much increased, from the late rumours, and conclusion of the trial, the place where we had long worshipped, was deemed unsafe to contain so large a body of people; it was therefore proposed to build a more convenient place, near the old spot: but the chief part of the neighbourhood being City ground, we could not obtain any other place than the vacant spot on which the chapel now stands: this was taken of the City, and on Monday the 13th of July, the day twelvemonth the trial was terminated in my favour, I laid the foundation-stone of the new chapel, in presence of many spectators.  When I had concluded the service, we assembled the same evening at the old chapel, where I preached on Gen. xxviii.  “And this stone which I have set shall be God’s house.”  That evening, small as the congregation was, compared with others, we collected fifty pounds.  The building was begun, and in ten weeks it was finished; but p. 94during that time my faith was continually upon the watch tower.  And the hand of God was most evidently in the business; timber was scarcely ever known to be at such a price, yet the Lord sent me money with which to pay the men their wages, and to find many materials beside—this was at the rate of twenty-five pounds a week.  Where the money came from I know not, but, to my surprise, it came.  The Lord called me to his throne, and in gracious answers the money was sent.  On the first Sunday in October, 1813, I took my leave of the old place, where I spent many happy hours; and if David remembered Hermon, and the little hill Mizar, the old Obelisk chapel will be dear to many a soul while life and being last.  I preached in the morning on the language of Moses to Jethro—“We are journeying to the place of which the Lord said, I will give it thee, come thou with us, we will surely do thee good.”  In the afternoon I endeavoured to remind my hearers of that suitable promise in every case of the Lord’s people—“And behold I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest; and I will not leave thee until I have done all the good which I promised unto thee.”  In the evening I again addressed the congregation, from the language of Moses—“Let thy presence go with us.”  After the evening sermon, we had the ordinance of the Lord’s Supper.  The evening was solemn, and we concluded with thanksgiving for the many happy hours we had spent in the place, and intreated the Lord to go with us the next day, and abide with us all our days.  We p. 95left the old spot with some reluctance, and the next morning I opened the new meeting.  I preached from Exodus xxv. 8—“And let them make me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them:” this sermon is now in print.  And in the evening to a very crowded congregation, from John xvii—“And I have declared thy name, and will declare it, that the love wherewith thou hast loved me, may be in them, and thou in them.”  The bustle of the day had impaired my mind, but I was helped through it, and the collection amounted to upwards of fifty pounds for that day, which I considered to be very great.  Some very excellent singers volunteered their kind services, and at the close of the service favoured us with some very beautiful anthems from Handel.  The place was always well attended, but the building of the chapel involved me in several heavy debts, many of which I paid out of the produce of the chapel, and others I borrowed money to pay them with, so that I paid all the tradesmen comfortably to my own mind; but the borrowed money laid as a dead weight on my spirits, and created me many anxieties.  This gave fresh exercise to prayer and faith, and an opportunity of watching the hand of God.  Soon after the building was completed, my subscriptions stopped, and of course all the heavy debt laid on me.  As I was determined no one should be hurt by me, I became responsible for every thing; and having collected by subscription, about seven hundred pounds, I found I was nearly ten hundred pounds in debt—three hundred I paid in about eighteen months, and the rest p. 96I paid interest for the use of, till the whole was cleared off.  And as I had the money given me, I built the place and paid for it, of course it is my own property; but I have since seen it necessary to choose trustees, by way of executors to my will, that the place should be always appropriated to the preaching of the gospel: this was to secure it from any who should claim it, and in future time convert it into any thing else: as I had known some preachers who had chapels of their own, after they had made a fortune in them, sell them to brokers, and other persons, laying an injunction on them never to let them again have the gospel preached in them.  This is most base, and cruel, beyond all expression; and what an awful state must their consciences be in, to act in so base a manner.  The Lord was with me, in this place also, till another calamity befel me: but this I know, every occurrence is divinely appointed, by infinite wisdom, and will terminate in the glory of God, and the prosperity of the soul—For he worketh all things after the counsel of his own will.

Yours truly, J. C.

LETTER XX.

“So I spake unto the people in the morning, and at even my wife died.”—Ezek. xxiv. 18.

To —

Death is solemn at all times, to thinking minds; and though sin has made him an enemy to our natures, grace has made him a friend to our souls: p. 97but he has no acquaintances, nor has he respect for any; he comes in without apologies, and cuts down all alike, the man of years, the innocent babe, the crowned head, the mitred prelate, the humble scavenger, and the poorest beggar: nor does he spare the dearest relative, or the most affectionate friend—yet, it is the consolation of the Lord’s people, that though all must bow to his stroke, they are dear to the Saviour, they are precious to him; hence he calls them the precious sons of Zion, and since thou hast been precious in my sight, I have loved thee.  God has declared their blood, that it their lives, is precious in his sight.—Psalm lxxii.  And in another Psalm (cxvi.) declares their very death is precious.  God has declared, he has no pleasure in the death of the wicked, no more than he has in their persons or their lives; yet grace has made a difference between those who love God, and those who do not; and as the Lord Jesus Christ has been to precious to them, in a time state, as an evidence they are precious to him, he has graciously designed death to be only their removal from sin and sorrow, to heaven, happiness, and God.  Death is therefore a gift, freely bestowed on the Lord’s people, and in general a welcome friend, whose mission is only to usher the elect, redeemed, regenerated soul into glory; and though many such have been all their life-time in bondage, through the fear of death, yet, that same Almighty power that made them willing to be saved in God’s own way, makes them willing to leave all behind, and to enter into a world of spirits, to be p. 98for ever with the Lord; and not only willing, but sometimes longing, to be gone to that rest the Lord has provided for his covenant people.  The faith that God has given them is sometimes indulged with sweet views of their inheritance, and they cast many a wishful eye to that land of delights.

Thus faith doth take a pleasing view,
   Hope waits, love sits and sings;
Desire, she flutters to be gone,
   But patience clips her wings.

What a chequered scene is the present state of God’s dear people, of adversity and prosperity, risings and fallings, darkness and light, losses and gains, crosses and mercies, bondage and liberty, sorrow and joy, life and death.

No sooner had the good hand of God provided us a chapel, and every thing seemed to prosper, but a sad calamity befel me, the worst I ever had, and the most distressing to my feelings—the death of a kind, loving, affectionate, and tender wife.  In the sixth Letter of this little work I have given an account of our acquaintance and marriage; it was her mercy she had been taught of God before this period.  Like most others, while young, she was cheerful and loved the world, and the things of it, and in the enmity of heart she despised the things of God, even to persecution; but she was the child, doubtless, of many prayers, compelled by an afflicted mother to read the Scriptures to her, which was no small burthen to her more gay and cheerful mind; she came to a very p. 99important portion of God’s Word, (Jer. iii.) a thought struck her that she would read that chapter again, when she was alone.  She seized the opportunity, and when she came to the 4th verse, the passage was applied with peculiar power to her soul—“Wilt thou not, from this time, cry unto me, My Father, thou art the guide of my youth.”  Conviction of her lost state came on, and she soon went to work at the law, attended legal preaching, and strove, in vain, to recommend herself to God, by the work of her hands, her watchings, vows, and resolutions, till the Lord led her under the ministry of more evangelical men, especially the ministry of our mutual favorite preacher, Mr. L. then supplying at Tottenham and Tabernacle: the Lord, having begun his good work, brought her soul into the sweet liberty of the gospel, and in the love and fear of God, she walked many years, living upon his grace, and depending upon his providence.  Her faith and hope, though often tried and assaulted, were genuine, and her love to truth was firm; she was a woman of the finest feeling, and quick discernment of characters, many of whom she frequently cautioned me against, and many a sorrow I should have escaped, had I (as most men should) have listened to a wife.  We had experienced many changes, and lived very comfortably together about eight years, when, alas! a sore trouble befel her, above which she never soared.  A short time after her delivery of her fourth child, she being very weak and low, some incautious person suddenly surprized her with some alarming intelligence, which was p. 100found the next day to be false: this chilled her blood; medical aid was afforded, and she gained a little strength, but she felt the direful effects of it till her death, which was not till seven years afterwards.  During this period she had but one child more, who grew up to his twelfth year, and then died in the Lord, a little account of which has since, been published in his funeral sermon, entitled “The Glory of Grace.”  Increasing weakness, attended with fits, and her mode of living, reduced her system; she was confined to her bed but a short time, the last fortnight she was very composed; sometimes feared the hour of her departure, but the nearer she drew to death the less she feared.  I took an affectionate leave of her the night previous to her death: her speech was gone twelve hours before her departure; I, however, endeavored to preach that morning on, “They that trust in the Lord shall be as the mount Zion, which cannot be moved.”  This was expressive of her state, experience, and security.  As that Lord’s-day closed, so she closed her eyes in death, sleeping in Jesus.  I had many sweet portions of scripture, suited, indeed, to her case, brought with power to my soul; and having known her experience with the testimony of God’s truth, I am happy in the full persuasion of her eternal felicity.  I preached on the following subject the Sunday after—“Ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom satan has bound these eighteen years, to be loosed on the Sabbath-day?”  Her warfare is accomplished.  “What shall separate us from the love p. 101of Christ; shall things present?”  I had many times advanced the doctrine of the final perseverance of believers; but it was truly precious then.  As Mr. Huntington sings—

“The world may oppose, and fiends may engage,
   And dangers and threat’nings dismay;
But still they pursue, in defiance of rage,
   For the righteous shall hold on his way.”

Farewell.—Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER XXI.

“So I prophesied, as he commanded me, and the breath came into them.”

To —

I had heard and read much about the spread of the gospel in towns and villages, as well as in foreign climes, and magazines abounding with this information; but, in my travels, I cannot say I found it true.  It may be the case, where I have not been.  It is true, indeed, I found preaching and professing; but duty, faith, moral harangues, and Baxterian sentiments, were the greatest part of the preaching I could find.  Both wise and foolish virgins all appeared to me to be asleep, except now and then a missionary meeting, when there did appear a little shaking amongst the dry bones; and dry enough they are; simple-hearted souls, resting on the piety and goodness p. 102of their preachers, though their souls were starving for food; and others resting on their lees, never having been emptied from vessel to vessel; a wonderful outcry against Antinomianism, although one professor in thirty thousand can not tell what this frightful thing can be.  This sad state of professors not a little affected my heart, and feeling the importance of truth, I desired to go forth to this host of Midian, and the army of the Moabites, as the Lord spake by the prophet, 2 Kings, iii. “And ye shall smite every fenced city, and every choice city, and shall fell every good tree, and stop all wells of water, and mar every good piece of land with stones, and so they did, only in her Kir-haraseth left they the stones thereof, but the slingers went about it, and smote it.”  An alarm should be sounded in the streets of Zion.  We are at present in the Sardian state of the church.  When thousands have a name to live, but they are dead, and many of the Lord’s spiritual people are sunk in a deep sleep, surely it is high time to awake out of sleep, to arise from such deadly preaching; and professing.  It is time to seek the Lord, until he come and rain righteousness upon you.  I bless God for many visits in the country, notwithstanding all opposition, and the plans satan laid in every direction for my overthrow.  A few years ago I was invited to a small village called Horsell, near Woking: here I preached several times, in a small hovel, which was the only place they had; and soon afterwards they built a chapel and founded a church, and are blest with the pure p. 103gospel.  At the same time I visited Woking and Chertsey, and found some blessed souls who were truly spiritual; and some who were the fruits Mr. Huntington’s ministry, and had been well brought up under the pastoral care of the truly excellent Mr. Merrit.  Shortly afterwards, I was taken by a gentleman into Essex, and preached at C—.  After the morning service I was invited to preach in the afternoon, it being a charity sermon for the school in that place.  This a little affected me, when the children stood upon the forms, remembering when I was in like circumstances, while I pleaded their cause.  Being intreated, I preached again in the evening; although I found, afterwards, it was a little out of order: this I did not know at the time, as the minister had to preach elsewhere—but it gave offence to him, which I was very sorry for; as the managers had unanimously invited me, I concluded it was mutual, and acted accordingly.  I continued to preach, every evening, in the same place, except one, and the Word was blest to many; but much trouble arose in consequence of it, and many disputes about myself and my doctrine: but the Lord gave testimony to the Word of his grace, and those who were spiritual rejoiced for the consolation.  I was again invited, but when I went down I was of course denied the use of the chapel.  Guards were set to protect the place, lest the vast body of hearers should resolutely determine to enter; and had they been of that mind, they might easily have done it, as I was then informed that the holy men p. 104who employed them, made them all * * * * *, but I had no notion of hostility.  A gentleman opened his house for me, which was soon crowded.  I advised them to obtain a barn, or any large place, rather than act in an unchristian-like manner, which was done immediately.  I opened it on the Lord’s-day, and preached in it three times to a very large assembly.  I continued there that week, and shortly after visited it again; the last day of which I laid the foundation of a new chapel, on St. John’s-green, and preached in the evening on Gen. xxviii. 22—“And this stone, which I have now set, shall be God’s house; and of all that I receive I will give the tenth unto thee.”  The people were exceedingly zealous and liberal.  The place went up rapidly; but before its completion some disputes occurred amongst those who were engaged in it, which arose from spite on the part of some; and, to vex the other party, an objection was made to my coming down to open the chapel.  A great deal of unpleasantry ensued, as a consequence, which was produced by an artful character, and attended with much grief.  Both in town and country the plot took well, and another went to open it, who was less credit to them, in the issue, than I was.  I had a most anxious desire to see the chapel, and to preach in it once, which was accomplished.  A lady who had invited my daughter to spend a few weeks at her house in the town, requested I would come to see her; and, upon my arrival, many friends came to visit me.  I exhorted in the parlour, and the next day was pressed by the friends to preach in the p. 105chapel.  I accordingly solicited the use of the pulpit, for the evening, which was granted.  The passage I was enabled to speak from, was—“He careth for you.”  I felt extremely affected with a variety of ideas which crowded on my mind; the happy seasons I had experienced among them, the troubles they had been called to meet with on my account, and the thoughts, the solemn thoughts, that I should never see them more in this lower world, deeply impressed my heart.  The next day I left the town, and earnestly prayed for them.  My poor petitions were granted; the Lord has raised up a very faithful and deeply-taught preacher among them; a church is formed on the mixed Baptist plan, and God is with them.  Many are very dear to my heart, and their kindness will never be forgotten by me,—nor the Lord neither, particularly the Messrs. A. H. L. and many more.

Some time after this I went to Lincoln, and to several places in Lincolnshire, where the Word was received; and I have heard from many what God had done by the preaching of the Word, through my feeble means.  Many other places in the country the Lord has sent me to; also to Deptford, Greenwich, and some places near London.

The Lord will bless his own truth to his own people, by his own servants, and giving testimony to the word of his grace by the man, is a proof the man is a sent servant of God; as, on the contrary, the Lord says of some—“They ran, but I sent them not: therefore, they shall not profit this people at p. 106all”—where the Word is blest to precious souls it is an evidence of their being truly sent of God.  “By their fruits ye shall know them; fruits of their ministry.  Do men gather grapes off thorns, or figs off thistles?”—Even so every tree is known by its fruit; and this is a sure evidence to the people.  So saith the Scripture, Ezek. xxiv.—“That he that escapeth in that day shall come unto thee, and cause thee to hear it with thine ears, and thou shalt be a sign unto them, and they shall know that I am the Lord.”

Yours, J. C.

“Each cherub of Jesus who preaches the Word,
   Shews the path-way that leadeth to life;
The sixty that handle the spiritual sword,
   Attends both the Lamb and his wife.” [106]

LETTER XXII.

“And the rains descended, and the floods came, and beat upon that house, and it fell not.”

To —

From the building of the chapel, for the first two years, all went on smoothly, all was prosperous and peaceable; we had set sail in the ship Adramytum, and the South wind blew softly; and having obtained this, we sailed too close by Crete.  This soft wind and easy sailing is not very advantageous to p. 107spiritual mariners.  Ease, popularity, and prosperity, will never do long for the believer or the Christian minister.  Prayer, meditation, and temptation, or trouble, makes a good preacher; and where the former is neglected, or but slightly attended to, the Lord has always trouble in store to arouse him again.

The pilgrim’s seldom long at ease;
When on fright’s gone another doth him seize.

Hence the following declaration—“If thou shalt not watch, I will come on thee as a thief, and thou shalt not know in what hour I will come upon thee.”  This is an address to the angel, the minister, and the church of Sardis.  And I really think the description of that church exactly answered to our situation, as a church: I am sorry to odd, like most of the churches in the present day.  This is too plain to be denied.  Our summer’s day was soon clouded, an awful storm was foreboded by many, which at last fell upon us all: for, not long after, sailing by Crete, there arose a mighty wind, called Euroclydon; and when the ship was caught, and could not bear up to the wind, we let her drive, and running under a certain island which is called Clauda, we had much work to come by the boat, and being exceedingly tossed with a tempest, and neither sun nor moon, nor stars, appeared for many days, and no small tempest lay out us, all hope of deliverance being taken away, we cast fair anchor out of the stern, and wished for the day; but falling into a place where p. 108two seas met, they ran the ship aground, a part which was broken with the violence of the waves, but some other parts remained immoveable; yet, in God’s time we escaped to land; for, in the midst of the storm, some of as, in the confidence of faith, said, “We shall yet praise Him;” and though deep called unto deep, yet we knew the Lord would command his loving kindness in the day time: and even in that night his song was at times with us, and our prayer, unto the God of our lives; yet the sea wrought, and was tempestuous, till the Lord High Admiral of the Seas awoke and rebuked the winds and waves, and then there was a calm, for which we can never be too thankful.  O for a heart to praise him who reigns over all his and our foes!  In the year 1816 I began a course of lectures on Paul’s voyage, which required a great deal of attention, and a little more ingenuity than I ever possessed.  Soon after this, alas! we were brought experimentally to understand the subject; and though we all rejoiced in the explanation and mystical sense, as it was explained, yet, neither myself nor the congregation much liked the experimental part.  It is very easy to preach and hear of storms, but when we really feel them, we are ready to exclaim, “I pray thee have me excused.”  Nature ever did, and ever will, rebel against the cross.  Although faith sees it needful, for a season, to be under temptations, no trial can come by chance, nor does affliction spring from the ground, but man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upwards; afflictions are of Divine appointment, not to make an p. 109atonement for sin, nor to eradicate sin from the body, but they are as useful as medicines to the body, and though painful, yet afterwards they yield the peaceable fruits of righteousness to them which are exercised thereby, no matter who the instruments are, nor what they are called, nor what end they have in view.  What God aims at is to teach us wisdom; to try our faith, and that we may try him and find him faithful; to wean us from this present evil world; to let us know what is in our hearts; to display his power, love, wisdom, and faithfulness; and, at last, to break down this earthly tabernacle, and bring the souls of his redeemed to their eternal inheritance.  And this is well.  Surely every Christian must say

I know in all that has befel,
My Jesus has done all things well.

I am sometimes grieved that the Lord’s tried people are so much prone to look at second causes, and rebel against or resent the instruments which afflict them; it is a mercy to be enabled to forgive, freely, fully, and sincerely, those who, from bad motives, attempt to injure us; for this conduct we have the very best of examples.  O for grace to imitate them.  I do believe that neither priest nor Levite, neither professor or profane, had any other motives in opposing me for so many years, but what have arisen from ignorance, envy, and hatred to truth.  I speak now of those who have been so long p. 110endeavouring to injure me in the estimation of the public. [110]  I speak not of the excellent laws of the country.  God forbid.  I have always, in public and in private, spoken well of them; and if I transgressed any one law, I have as much right to suffer the penalty of that law as any other man, and more so—but I am now speaking of those gentlemen of the cloth who have endeavoured to degrade me, both in doctrine and conduct: blessed be God they have failed.  “Behold, they shall surely gather together, but not by me, saith the Lord.”  I consider all that these have done has been spite, and I prove it thus.  How many erroneous preachers, and abominable in their conduct, have appeared since I came first into the same neighbourhood?  Why not oppose them also?  Why not watch their conduct—belabour them in the pulpit—make them the subject matter of preaching (for want of better matter)—search out their real or supposed faults—call committees on the subject—expend large sums of money—publish, print, circulate—run from county to county—employ the vilest vassals to carry on their nefarious conspiracies—I say, why not others become the subjects of their spleen?  And even some amongst themselves, great advocates for what they choose to call practical godliness, who have been drenched in sensuality, some of whom have been exposed to the public—why not use them as they have me?  I only appeal to every thinking mind, whether their cruelty could arise from any thing but spite.  It cannot arise from my doctrine itself, but their wilful ignorance of it, perversion p. 111of it, or hatred to it.  What is my doctrine, but—

That every believer being delivered from the law, as a covenant of works, and having the love of God shed abroad in his heart, loves every law of God, with all his renewed heart, his mind, and strength.

If this is the doctrine I preach, and I preach no other, can it be justly condemned as being against the law?  Surely not.  And as I have stated this as a solemn truth, that I preach no other doctrine, I only ask the reader, once more, must not my religious enemies be most awful liars, who have borne such false witness against me, upon this subject?  As to the general term used—the moral law a rule of life—I do not choose to use the term, and why?  Because no man in this world can make common sense of it; it is a common hacknied phrase in the mouth of every pharisaic professor, but the words will not bear an investigation.  I only ask an explanation of the term.  Why should I make use of words I do not understand?  From my enemies I demand an explanation of it.  I have read volumes of the controversy on both sides, but no one has, for no one can, explain the term.  I know a certain Baptist preacher, who compels all his newly-received members to declare, they believe the moral law is a rule of life for believers; and, poor things, they are obligated in their weakness, to acknowledge this, which neither themselves nor preacher can understand.  How can it be a rule for a Baptist?  Do the ten commandments p. 112say any thing about Baptism; about the Lord’s Supper; about singing of psalms, hymns, or spiritual songs; or godly conversation, or forgiveness of others; or any of their church rules?  Not a word.  How, then, can it be a rule for a Baptist, who is bound to attend to the rules of his own society, or even of my principal adversary; does it command him to read or chaunt prayers?  Has it prescribed gowns or bands, or singers, or organs?  Does the moral law teach him to belie, ridicule, and use his utmost to injure his neighbour, or run to consult counsellors, to know how he can get rid of Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate; or once to be zealous for truth, and now to wink at error?  I think not.  I leave this to his conscience.  I demand, if the moral law is a rule of life, why transgress the fourth commandment, by labour and rest on the first day of the week, instead of the seventh?  If a rule, why do they not keep it?  I am only objecting to the term; but, beloved, abide then in Christ and his Word; and as many as walk according to this rule, peace be on them.

LETTER XXIII.

“And set up false witnesses, which said, this man ceaseth not to speak blasphemous words against this holy place and the law.”

In my last to you I have only objected to the mere obsolete and unmeaning phrase—the moral law a believer’s rule of life.  I beg you to bear in mind, I do not say it is not a rule, but I maintain it is an insufficient p. 113rule of conduct for a believer under the gospel dispensation.  If it had been a sufficient rule, why all the laws of Christ given as set forth in the preceptive parts of the New Testament?  The doctrine of the gospel are the rules of our faith, and the precepts delivered to the churches, the rules of our conduct: this is a truth which cannot be overthrown—for asserting the above, it is surprising the enmity of the advocates of the law of Moses, as they call themselves, manifest against those who differ from them; yea, they would persecute them to bonds and to death.  This is evident in the life of the late truly experimental, devout, and faithful Mr. W.  Huntington, a man truly devoted to God; nor could his vigilant enemies find a single fault in his moral deportment, although they tried for it all his days; those serpents were disappointed of their food in this particular; God blessed and kept him—owned his message to thousands; and, while the Lord has a church upon earth, most of his writings will be of signal service to God’s own family; yet he was made the butt of spite and malice, ridicule, and contempt; nor could the rage of an empty professor be ever so excited, than to hear of persons attending his ministry; workmen and servants discharged from their situations by great professors; wives, husbands, neighbours, and relations, persecuting each other on this account; pastors cutting off members without mercy, when they had been starved under their ministry, and went in search of food under the ministry of that man of God.  Preachers, when sadly p. 114off for a subject, had only to introduce the frightful Antinomian, and this filled up the time.  A very rev. gentleman loaded him with every ill-natured and low-life name he could; like Esau of old, whose conduct is strongly reprobated in the book of Obadiah, to which I must refer you.  This elder brother fled from town to town, place to place, and house to house, to oppose, traduce, misrepresent, and vilify the Lord’s servant; but, as Mr. H. was a brother in Christ, in the faith of the gospel, and the love of the Spirit, sad must be the state of that man who manifests such hatred?  See the epistles of John, then draw an inference.  What a mercy for us, who are dubbed Antinomians, that the civil sword is not in the hands of these Balaams; [114] you may partly judge how they would serve such asses as we are.  It is a good remark I have met with—the name Antinomian, we view as a kind of scare-bird, which the devil hangs up in the pulpits of hypocrites, on purpose to keep the Lord’s doves from flying to their windows; and it has happened to this figure, as it often does to an image set up in a cherry-tree, it will frighten the birds for a while, but when the little creatures come to discover the cheat, you will see them sit upon the head of it.  But why all this opposition?  Take it in Mr. H.’s own words, in his “Essay on Divine Law,” p. 275.

“The good man who has distinguished himself as my godfather, and who has palmed the name of p. 115Antinomian upon me, and upon all that are in connection with me, and who has, without intermission, slandered and loaded we with reproach for five and twenty years, is an evangelist of the first magnitude; though I never spoke to him but once in my life.  He is most exceeding zealous for the law of Moses, and of its being the only rule of life for believers.  My not holding this assertion has filled him with all this holy indignation against me; that, although he often forgets his text, and sometimes loses himself, even in the pulpit, yet he never forgets nor loses sight of the filthy Antinomian; and he is so violent for his own holiness and sanctification, that he would be glad to send me to the devil, in defence of it.  And I doubt not but the Lord has set him at this work to ripen him, as was the case when he bid Shimei curse David, that God might curse him.  And I am as fully persuaded as David was, ‘That the Lord will requite me good for his cursing.’  2 Sam. xvi. 12.  He has called me a spiritual monkey, a spiritual blackguard; confessing that, if he was to see the devil flying away with me, he could not find in his heart to cry, ‘stop thief!’ believing the devil had only got his own property.  And he has publicly confessed there are three creatures in this world that his pious soul hates; namely, the devil, Dr. Priestley, and Huntington; but that he hates Huntington the worst of the three.  Part of this is true, and part false.  It is true that he hates Huntington; but the other two have received no damage by him in any thing.  And I may say of my godfather as the prophet says of Jacob’s brother, that, ‘He did pursue p. 116his brother with the sword, and did cast off all pity, and his anger did tear perpetually, and he kept his wrath for ever.’—Amos, i. 2.  My reader may believe me when I say, that I esteem his indignation and his reproach a greater treasure to me than either his affections or his prayers; for we are to be hated of all men, and especially of all such men, for Christ’s name sake.—Matt. x. 22.  And this is so far from offending me, that I am pleased with it, and make myself merry at the reports of his zeal, which hath almost eaten him up; and he may go on, for his whole warfare is in defence of his own honour; and the more the Lord enlarges me, the more he is enlarged also.”

Again, p. 296—

“I wish these gentlemen would lay by the old thread-bare text, which is of their own forging, and give us a few practical discourses upon the law, shewing us how to love God, and love to the neighbours fulfils it; for, ‘On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’—Matt. xxii. 40.  And again; ‘Therefore all things, whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.’  This last text would try my pious godfather to the quick; for, although he is so very fond of calling others blackguards, yet he cannot bear it himself.  If others were to pursue him for twenty-five years, as he has chased me, and work him out of every pulpit, loading him with charges of error, loose living, deceiving sinners, &c. &c. all of which, and in a language equal to that of Billingsgate, his pious soul has thought fit to heap upon me; I say, were others p. 117to treat him so, he would weep like a child, fawn like a cat, and run to every counsellor in London to plead his cause, and appeal to the world in behalf of his innocency and the respectability of his family.  Preachers that have nothing to stand upon but the testimony of hypocrites, and the applause of fools, can bear but little of this sort of scandal; for their sandy foundation soon gives way, and, not being able to face either God or conscience in the closet, they are sure to go down; and, ‘Woe to him that is alone when he falleth.’  However, if these laws of retaliation are not put into practice by my pious godfather aforesaid, I have no doubt but the Law giver will put them in full force himself, according to his own promise; ‘For with what judgment ye judge ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye meet it shall be measured to you again.’—Matt. vii. 2.  He has not only loaded me with reproach and scandal himself; but being a man noted for wisdom, experience, and soundness of doctrine, he is much looked up to, and therefore others have been emboldened to join him in the same work.”

All this opposition to that late man of God was undeserved; nor should I have introduced the subject, but only to shew how far the rage of man may go in his false zeal for the law [117] in these professing times.  As it respects myself, I would to God I had been like Mr. H. in almost every branch of my p. 118conduct; it would have saved me many a painful and distressing hour.  However, it is evident the hand of God brought me into this neighbourhood, and has kept me many years amidst so many storms; my enemies themselves being judges.  Our music and dancing has indeed offended our elder brethren, Luke xv. who boast they never transgressed the commandment at any time; yet their pride of heart is not a little mortified in beholding the hand of God towards me.  God declared to the pharisaic Jews—“By a foolish nation will I anger you.”  This is the case now; what I have erred in at any time is matter of the deepest grief to my heart, and I will most readily confess it before God, and if there were any necessity for it, I would to the church of God, in this little work; but there is no occasion for that, as every believer feels the sin of his own heart to be a plague and a sore—yet prudence dictates to him not to acknowledge it.  Nevertheless I have no authority to confess or acknowledge what I never did—what I never was guilty of.  Reader, would you?  With all the faults with which the believer is guilty, as a sinner in Adam, he never does, he never can sin, that grace may abound.  He cannot sin as a believer; when he sins at all, it is not upon the free-grace principles of the gospel.  God forbid; these teach him to deny all ungodliness, but to his grief he carries about with him a body of sin; and the scriptures declare there is not a just man upon the earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.  In many things, said the holy James, we all offend, and the venerable, p. 119aged, and holy John, says the same—“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”  If the saints of old were free from sin and sinning, what can all their confessions, groans, tears, and sighs mean?  And if my opponents, who have represented me so bad so many years, are themselves quite innocent, quite holy, or pure—how can they daily read the church service, in her general confession, litany, collects, communion service, and, indeed, throughout the whole.  I say not this to encourage sin—to charge me with this, is to charge the whole Word of God with it.  Foolish worldlings, who can be no judges of what either constitutes or characterises a Christian, vainly suppose that to be a Christian is in every respect to be a spotless person: and surely this is the wish of a Christian; this is the desire of his heart—but who upon earth ever attained it—none but the Divine Saviour.  The Lord grant us increasing conformity to his own image.  Amen.  I have sometimes reflected upon the various enemies I have had, and am surrounded with now, who are every day waiting, watching, and longing for my halting, as in Jeremiah, xx. 10th verse.—“For I heard the defaming of many, fear on every side.—Report, say they, and we shall report it; all my enemies watched for my halting, saying, peradventure, he will be enticed, and we will prevail against him.”  But who are they?  Perhaps some pious, mistaken, good-meaning people, to whom I have been misrepresented—some envious, pharisaic preachers and professors, who in heart hate the truth, as it is in p. 120Jesus, and long for an opportunity to degrade it, by the bad conduct of some who profess it.  Some, hypocrites, who are secretly living in diabolical sins; these are anxious to catch hold of some fault, on purpose to harden their own hearts in sin, and ripen themselves for hell.—Some, worldlings, either to furnish themselves with matter for ridicule against religion—or to gain something by it, as many have gained many pounds by coming forth to curse Israel.  But enough of this.  A little more than four years rolled away, while the enemy took breath.  We were so quiet, that my name did not, for a long time, occur in the daily papers; yea, they had forgotten me in the “Sunday News.”  I was as a dead man, almost out of mind: but this did not last long.  As God had new mercies in store for me, so he had also new trials and new deliverances.

Yours, J. C.

Of his deliverance I will boast,
   Till all who are distrest,
From my example comfort take,
   And charm their griefs to rest.

LETTER XXIV.

“He calleth to me out of Seir, Watchman, what of the night?  The morning cometh, and also the night.”

To —

I think there are very few serious troubles befal us, but God is pleased to give us some intimation of p. 121their approach; so I have frequently found it, either by uncommon joys or remarkable impressions, and very often by dreams, and these repeatedly.  I know this last idea will expose me again to the contempt of heedless characters; but it is written—“God speaketh once, yea twice, though man perceiveth it not.”  However, many have found it too true.  God spoke so to Joseph, to the butler, and baker, in prison; to Pharaoh, and to many others of old, and I am fully persuaded he speaks to us.  Not that dreams have any thing to do with salvation business; although I am fully persuaded that the Lord has often first imprest many of his people with awful dreams, which have led them to a serious concern about their souls; and no doubt given them warning of approaching troubles: so I found it.  I dreamed, one night, that a vast number of young scorpions, or small serpents, were crawling about the floor of the chapel; this at first alarmed me, but by my feet I crushed all but two, which fled to the very seat which was occupied by ******* and another.  These I could not destroy, which left a painful sensation on my mind.  When I awoke, I knew, at least I judged, some calamity was approaching; nor was I deceived.  A gentlewoman soon after called upon me—she appeared very dejected; I enquired the cause, when she informed me she was sure some direful trial would shortly befal me.  I asked why she thought so?  Only from the repetition of her dream—which was, that she saw a cat, while I was in the pulpit, clasp me round the neck, and salute p. 122me; but, as she departed, she tore my neck and throat in so awful a manner that all were frightened who saw it.  I told her it was but a dream; but she said she was sure it was of God, as the sad event proved.  Shortly after this, I was invited to sleep at a friend’s house, which I did; but the second night, being indisposed, and having to meet the committee after service, the hour being late, I was advised and pressed not to go there; yet I knew I was expected, and being entreated, I complied.  On my road a most unaccountable sensation seized me, and, as though a hand touched me, a voice, at the same time, seemed to say, “Do not go to-night.”  I made an apology to the party I was with, by saying I would see them to the door, and then return home; but nothing would avail.  O that I had followed the impressions.  Shortly after this night, I heard a strange rumour, which produced a great deal of uneasiness.  Evil reports were circulating; but, as if some strange infatuation had seized me, I took little notice of it, yet I thought it strange.  These words came to me: “Agree with thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him, lest at any time he deliver thee to the judge, and the judge deliver thee to the officer, and thou be cast into prison.”  Yet I was conscious I had done nothing worthy of death or of bonds, so that I was still inflexible.  Many gossips, through the rumour, continually plagued the party, which did me infinite injury.  Several gentlemen from the chapel waited on him, to whom he read a deposition, which contained p. 123nothing criminal in my conduct; and, having gained this satisfaction, the matter rested where it was for nine or ten weeks.  The gloomy month of November arrived, which brought my old adversary to town; and soon after a friend called on me, and gave me the painful information that he had seen the above party, with my accuser, at the Public Hall, and being informed it was concerning me, he thought it right to apprize me of it.

This was the severest blow I ever felt in my life.  I immediately procured counsel; and, without being seat for, appeared.  The statement was made, an assault was declared, bail was put in, and it was bound over to quarter sessions.  This was soon spread.  Now a shower of papers, placards, and pamphlets came pouring over me; the congregation thrown into trouble; my family in the deepest distress of mind, and my feelings racked beyond description—while thousands rejoiced in the day of our calamity.  But it is written—“He that is glad at calamity shall smart for it.”  Mark this.  I must remind you also of the lamentation of the church.—1 Lament. 21: “They have heard that I sigh, all mine enemies have heard of my trouble, they are glad that thou hast done it; thou wilt bring the day that thou hast called, and they shall be like unto me.”  How did the Phillistines now rejoice, supposing that the ark was taken, but the joy of the hypocrite is but for a moment.  Great troubles were in the church, and “for the division of Reuben there were great searchings of heart,” but those who were at ease in Zion were not p. 124grieved for the afflictions of Joseph.”—Amos, vii.  Many paltry scribblers issued forth their rubbish like insects from the mud of Nile; and I was the song of the drunkards.

But I cannot here forget the goodness of God, who helped me in the day of trouble.  I constantly preached and administered the ordinances.  The Lord kept all peaceable without and within; thousands looked on and wondered, as they do to this day.  To add to my calamity, I entrusted my affairs to a very injudicious old lawyer, who, to answer his sordid purposes, advised me to carry this cause to a higher court: this was only adding affliction to my bonds.  I knew but little about courts of law, so that I was led, hoodwinked, into this business.

One year and three months rolled away in this trouble.  During this time I wrote a letter to a friend, who carried it to my opposers, and although couched in the most friendly terms respecting themselves, yet they had the cruelty to bring forth that letter to my hurt, another day.  This was devilish, indeed: the learned judge mistaking the religious sense of the letter, supposed that I meant it as a contempt of the just laws of the country—God forbid.  No, no; it was a private letter to a friend, in which I meant, that any injury done to a child of God, maliciously, [124] would one day be resented.  But this was not treating the laws of the country with p. 125contempt.  I ever maintained, that if the holiest Christian upon earth has violated the laws of his land, he has a just right to endure the penalty.—Never, surely, did a poor creature suffer so much in mind, with any outward calamity, as I did.  And what for?  Some cried one thing, some another.  About this time I changed my situation: many advised me to leave the country; and, as I was placed in circumstances, I could have paid my bail, and lived comfortably in another land.  But why should I flee?  In this circumstance I asked advice of the Lord, who graciously answered me—“Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.”  On God’s Word I relied, and found him faithful.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXV.

“Their adversaries said, we offend not, because they have sinned against the Lord.”—Jer. l. 7.

To —

No doubt the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he worketh all things after the counsel of his own will.  If so, we hardly know how to blame the apostle Paul in his conduct, as recorded in Acts, xxv.—When brought before Festus, he appealed to a higher court—“I appeal unto Cæsar;” then said Festus, “Hast thou appealed unto Cæsar? to Cæsar thou shalt go.”  Here the apostle had two years’ imprisonment, and at last suffered martyrdom; although, in the lower court, he might have been set at liberty.

p. 126It is the privilege of Englishmen that they may carry their causes to higher courts; although it was not attend with much good to me, it was granted and the best of counsel retained.  While this was pending many and great were the anxieties of thousands respecting my future destiny; nor could I be happy.  This procrastination of the trial, and sentence of decision, was in much mercy, as the mind was borne down with trouble, company was a burden, and I longed to retire from observation and all society.  This prepared my mind, gradually, for the event; but it was a suitable season for observation.  I watched the motions of many, and while upon the watch-tower, these words came into my mind—“That the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed:” and so it was.  While many of the Lord’s people were deeply affected, every sensible and pious character felt exceedingly for the afflicted church, and daily prayed for us, especially some ministers of respectability: while the meaner sort of preachers not only rejoiced, but used their exertions to injure me, some of whom I formerly had it in my power to punish, but I never did; I fully, freely forgave them.  From March to July I resided a little way from town, and passed as pleasant a time as circumstances would permit; only my old plague of a lawyer was continually hunting me for money, under some pretence or another.  I beg leave here to advise all persons labouring under any sore calamity, to employ a respectable attorney at once, it will be less expence at the end; and generally the most safe way.

p. 127Every thing was against me, the floods lifted up their voice, the floods lifted up their waves; and, if the Lord had not supported my mind, at times, I must have been quite overwhelmed.

Assize time came, and now all was bustle; had an emperor been going to be tried for his life, surely there could not have been much more confusion, disputes, meetings, opinions, hopes, fears, and griefs, sincerity and hypocrisy; but I, partly knowing the mind of God, was prepared for the event.  The committee who had met and consulted so many times before against me, and whose names, or rather characters, were old Uzzah, Hananiah, Coriah, Jannes, and Jambres, Phygelles, Hermogenes, Hymenius, and Alexander the coppersmith; Demetrius the silversmith; Sceva, Sanballat, and Tobiah, Geshem, and Doeg the Edomite; Shethar, Boznai, Rabshakeh, Nergal, Shrezar, Samgar, Nebo, Rab Saris, and Rab Mag, [127] and Haman; a noble company truly! assembled in a certain street, at the Dung Gate, Nehemiah, iii. 14; or rather the religious manufactory.  These rulers of Babylon, being men of power, might, and influence, now exerted themselves, and although some are so miserable as to grudge themselves and families the common necessaries of life, yet they freely parted from their money on this very important occasion.  I have heard, and believe, they used their personal influence with *****, and others, p. 128others the most respectable amongst them, wrote to the learned Artaxerxes, as in days of old—see Ezra, iv. 6 to 16; mark—the persons who wrote the letter, thy servants on this side the river Thames—verse 11.  On Friday I delivered my address to the people, from Psalm cxxx. 1.  Saturday, during the trial, I shut up myself from all society, and gave myself up to the will of God; and, by prayer and supplication, sought his supporting hand.  The trial ended as was generally supposed it would.  How could it be otherwise?  The lie that was told—the mistake of the design of the letter—the country at large could not avoid prejudice, as the nation was inundated with a strong tide of pamphlets and newspapers, for weeks together; my witnesses were nothing—one had forgot, and the other could not remember; [128] my old lawyer had not prepared half the defence to offer to counsel, although he had been so well paid for it; the trial closed, and I lost the day: and, how great was the joy of thousands that I had never injured; but they all had an end to answer.  The grief of my best wishers was great, and surely we all felt the blow most keenly.  This gave full scope for opposition,—now, once more, the tide of scribbling rose, the sound of horns rushing through every street, Sunday-morning papers were eagerly embraced, posts running to and fro, hundreds running to stages with papers for country friends; but, amidst all, I felt the supporting presence of God, which, I p. 129am confident, my triumphant foes did not, nor his approbation neither.  My public labours were now nearly laid aside.  I met the congregation in private, and delivered many addresses to them.  I resided at this time a little way from town, and here the few that knew me treated me with civility: but, one evening, we were thrown into confusion by a vast mob assembling before the house, with rough music, an infamous placard, and a frightful figure, intended as an effigy of me; a large fire was soon kindled, and it was burnt before the door.  After a few shouts were raised, they departed.  Application was made to a magistrate for redress, but in vain.  Some, for less crimes, would have taken away the licence of the house they met at; but I say no more.  This was attended with some good to me.  It opened another door in providence, in which I was enabled to see my friends.  The above circumstance hurt my mind a little; but, in answer to prayer, these words came into my mind—“Fear not, no man shall set on thee to hurt thee, for I am with thee.”

As to burning my effigy, I found they had done that to some good men, whose shoe latchets I am not worthy to loose.  Mr. Huntington relates, in his “Naked Bow of God,” page 280—“However, our adversaries meeting with more encouragement than us, we were attended home by them, with their hats adorned with ribbons; and, on their arrival, the whole parish appeared in triumph: the bells were immediately rung, and my little cottage was beset on all sides.  My effigy then was made and burnt, a blasphemous harangue delivered, as a funeral p. 130sermon, over this figure of straw and rags, and abominable impudence was sung in imitation of a funeral anthem.  Upon this one and all cried out, they were for the High Church; and, indeed, none could properly doubt of that, who saw the height of their wickedness; for, had they been Turks, or Pagans, they would have been ashamed of such conduct.”

I acknowledge this treatment was for preaching the gospel; and I beg leave also to remark, that had I not preached the gospel, there would never have been so much opposition to me.  But some of my holy adversaries in the religious world justify such unscriptural means; and, in order to put a gloss on their cruelty, will tell you it is done for the lord’s honor.

The excellent laws of the country have a just right to punish offenders; but it is our mercy the sword is not in the hands of certain reverends, or else woe be to those whom their reverences choose to denominate Antinomians.  Such priests and levites not only pass by a poor man that has fallen amongst thieves, but they cruelly cast heavy stones at him, and employ others to do the same.  I beg leave here to present you with an account of the same persecuting spirit that actuated a mob at Richmond, in the year 1774.  Take the circumstance as related in the “Gospel Magazine,” page 214, vol. I.—

“Monday evening last, a most numerous mob assembled, each with a bludgeon in his hand, and Mr. B— at their head, to the no small terror of our friends, some of whom B— abused very much, p. 131and even declared he would shortly hang their very persons up before their own doors.  They went in procession through the town, with one C—, in heavy fetters, whom they named rev. R. H.  They proceeded to a mock trial of him for defrauding a linen-draper of £200.  After they had condemned him to be hanged on the Wednesday following, they ordered him to be chained down, &c.  They went to several houses, where they had beer and money given them.  I believe they did not go to the honorable magistrate’s house, nor will I dare to say that his clerk gave them any money, yet he has been very busy in those affairs at times.  On Wednesday evening they assembled again, with the culprit in the cart, in the exact posture of an actual criminal going to be hanged; a book in his left hand, his eyes lifted up to heaven, and saying a blasphemous prayer as he went along.  They proceeded to the meeting-house, opposite to which a gallows was erected in the morning, where, after singing a hymn, and offering up a blasphemous prayer, the culprit was turned off, with the rope about his arms, though some will have it that the effigy only was hung up, yet I think I can believe my eyes beyond what they say.  They swore that if any of the Methodists came there they would have their blood.  We hope that some effectual methods will be taken against them; for I do assure you, Sir, till something be done, we are not safe in our beds; our houses are often attacked in the night, and we are not safe as we go to business, in open day, by reason of large stones being thrown at us, as p. 132we walk the streets.  I believe, if we were rebels, or had betrayed our country we should be more valued here than we are now; and that only because we would meet to worship our God, honour our king, pray for him and his, and wish peace and prosperity to our country, &c.”

But God meant that unto good; for, a little while after, in the same magazine, we read, page 311—

“Sunday last, the young man who was desperately wounded, in protecting some of the audience from the insults of the rabble, at Richmond, publicly renounced the errors of the Church of Rome, at the Methodist meeting-house in that town, and embraced the Protestant Faith, as held by the Established Church of England.”

What a mercy to be protected in our civil and religious privileges!  God be praised for a Protestant king and parliament, and for the excellent laws of our land.  Amen and amen,

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXVI.

“And thou shalt go even to Babylon, and there shalt thou be delivered.”—Micah, iii. 9 to close.

To —

The painful business was now to be brought to a final issue.  I judged, before-hand, how it would terminate—as these words followed me wherever I went—“And Paul dwelt two whole years in his own hired house, and received all that came to him.”  p. 133The decision was appointed for the 6th of November; but, in consequence of the death of the much-lamented Princess Charlotte, it was postponed.  A more gloomy month, I think, I never knew, especially the 18th when the solemn church bells minutely tolled for that amiable character’s funeral.

On Sunday morning, the 23rd, I preached my farewell sermon, on Micah, vii.—“Rejoice not against me, Oh, mine enemy; though I fall, I shall rise; though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light unto me.”  I bade an affectionate farewell to my friends, nor did I prove a false prophet, as thousands have witnessed.  Samson’s locks have grown again, and John the Baptist has risen from the dead.

The next day, in God’s strength, I went to Westminster-hall, and received my sentence.  I had provided many things to address the court with, and could have put in fifteen affidavits, but I was advised by counsel not to speak a word, but quietly submit to the sentence, which I did; and, as soon as it was passed, my heart was at liberty, which it had not experienced for one year and three months before.—Newspapers and scribblers have asserted, it was pronounced to the great joy of the court, and gave great satisfaction;—but, if a rude rabble can be called a court, I am mistaken.  And, alas! what is noisy breath! the applause of such mortals! when only about three weeks after, the same rabble had the daring impudence to hiss the very judge, on the same spot, in the matter of Hone!  As in days of p. 134old, when the public cried “Hosanna!” one day, and in four days more, “Crucify him, crucify him!”  So much for public applause or resentment.

In some cases we may truly say—

Careless, myself, a dying man,
   Of dying man’s esteem;
Happy, O God, if thou approve,
   Though all the world condemn.

I arrived safe at Achor Vale, and glad enough I was to rest from the long strife.  I was delivered from the noise of the archers, the sounding of the mountains, and the horns of rams blown by goats, the braying of asses, and the grumbling of bears.

A variety of select portions of scripture, which had been applied to me some time before, came seasonably into my mind, and I found the Lord faithful to his word.

The idea of a prison had often struck me with horror; but I have always found, through many changes, we want a mind to our situation—as we shall never get a situation fully to our minds till we get to heaven.  When I arrived, every fear respecting my treatment was banished; gloomy as it had appeared, all was to the contrary.  I was received with the greatest civility by the unhappy company I met with there.  A young man who had been an officer’s servant, proffered his services to wait on me, and rendered me very comfortable.  The kind governor gave me one of the best rooms, and permitted me to have every convenience for sleeping I could desire, and all the books I chose to send for.—p. 135This alleviated my mind; and, altogether, at times I was nearly distracted with grief, the Lord held me up, kept me in my senses, and blest me in my soul.

I cannot help here remarking, that, many months previous to this, I had dreamed of the very room I was put into, with the kind attention of my wife, who had not long been dead at the time I had the dream, and which was, I believe, two years before the trouble took place.  But this was allotted to another, who was very kind and attentive on that painful occasion.  A variety of most distressing thoughts, at times, overwhelmed me.  A separation from the house of God, the perplexities of the church, the hypocrisy of some of the preachers, the grief of my family, the loss of liberty, the company around me, the joy of my foes, and fearing the truth should suffer by my supposed and reported faults, with the length of time appointed me—these things, it was natural to suppose, must have created the most poignant distress.  The many months before me seemed so many years; but this led me to reflect on an eternity of joy or woe, the final doom of the righteous and the wicked.  Eternity!  Eternity!—a pleasing and dreadful thought.  This brought to my mind the solemn description of eternity, us written by the excellent Ralph Erskine, in his “Description of the Misery of the Wicked.”  “Gospel Sonnets,” p. 62.—

“Ah I must I live in torturing despair,
As many years as atoms in the air;
When these are spent, as many thousands more,
As grains of sand which crowd the ebbing shore;
p. 136When these are done, as many yet behind,
As leaves of forest, shaken with the wind;
When these are done, as many to ensue,
As stems of grass on hills and dales that grew;
When these run out, as many on the march,
As starry lamps that gild the spangled arch;
When these expire, as many millions more,
As moments in the million, past before;
When all these doleful years are spent in pain,
And multiplied by myriads again?—
’Tis numbers drown the thought.  Could I suppose,
That then my wretched years were at a close,
This would afford some ease; but, ah!  I shiver,
To think upon the dreadful sound—for ever.”

But, as interested in the love of God, pardoned by the great atonement, and justified by the meritorious obedience of the adorable God-man Mediator; called out of darkness, and divinely influenced and kept by the power of God, the holy making Spirit, we shall enjoy a long, a blest eternity of joy, at the right hand of God.  The thought is delightful.  What will the joy be?—Hold out faith and patience.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER XXVII.

“Like these good figs, will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans, for their good.”

To —

The eventful history of the church of Israel is very striking and important.  Loved, chosen in Egypt, p. 137delivered, brought into a desert wilderness; yet maintained miraculously, screened, preserved, brought through the Jordan of trouble into the promised land; enemies falling before them; privileged with the symbols of the Divine presence, and kept by Divine power.

How very important is the language of Moses on this subject.  He found him in a desert land, and in a waste howling wilderness; he led him about; he instructed him; he kept him as the apple of his eye; but, alas! what a rebellious, unbelieving, perverse, fretful, and ungrateful people, prone to idolatry, negligent, and disobedient: such, alas! am I.

Reader, what say you of your own heart?  Is it not too much your case?  After all that God hath done for you, have you not cause, as well as me, to take shame and confusion of face to yourself?  On this account God resented the idolatry of that people.  Invaded by the Assyrians, and at last led away captive to Babylon.  This last was an awful blow to them: yet they were commanded to submit to the stroke; and those who did not, were to perish in some awful way, which they did, as related in the prophecy of Jeremiah.  But those that escaped the sword were ordered to go and submit to God’s sentence, by bowing to the king of Babylon’s yoke.  The Lord promised to be a little sanctuary to them, even in their captivity; and hence, although they suffered such privations, the Lord was with them; supported, kept, preserved, and blest them there.  Surely I discover the analogy; I have been dealt with p. 138in a similar way.  I mention it to my own shame and the glory of Divine goodness, which I have experienced all my days; and especially in my captivity.  Although my troubles were small, considering my situation, yet my mind was very frequently racked with my affairs without.  Some only came to visit me out of mere curiosity; others to mortify my feelings; quite forgetting the Divine prohibition—“Oppress not the poor, nor the afflicted in the gate.”

Some of the preachers who occupied the pulpit were very treacherous; and one poor creature had the daring impudence to declare the Lord had often told him, that I should never return to preach in that pulpit again—but it is evident he was a lying prophet, as I have preached in that pulpit and place above 1200 times in less than four years since.  We had many such prophets and prophetesses, but, as they ran without being sent, they soon ran themselves out of breath.

Fearing I should die, I set my house in the best order I could.  To those of whom I was obliged to borrow money in trouble, I sent or willed an equivalent, which eased my mind, and gave them satisfaction.  My family was also disposed of; my eldest daughter was with her mother-in-law, assisting her, and receiving education and domestic improvement.  My youngest was in the care of the very dear and kind friends, who had brought her up free of expence to me; which is friendship indeed—the most pure and disinterested, perhaps, to be found in this lower world.  My eldest son was at boarding-school, p. 139comfortably maintained; and my dear afflicted boy, well known to you, and beloved by all that knew him was principally in the care of our old and faithful servant, at home.

I remember reading of good Mr. Bunyan, while in prison; how his poor mind was at times troubled about his family, especially his dear blind daughter; but the Lord supported them all, till his deliverance.  Thus the Lord dealt kindly with me, in this instance, although I shed thousands of tears about them.

Some severe trials came on me shortly after my incarceration in this valley of Achor.  The recognizances had not been withdrawn from the court; and, as I was paying the debt of the law, no acquaintance of mine knew any thing about such an affair—and as my solicitor, I should suppose, must have known the rules of the Court of King’s Bench, I was grieved he did not attend to this essential point, as I gave him ten pounds, only two days before my confinement, to settle all matters in the court, which he neglected to do; the consequence was, the gentlemen who were bail for me, were troubled for the money: this really hurt my feelings worse than all the troubles I had met with—but an able attorney made application to the court, and settled it with very little expence.  I judge it expedient that I should mention this, to give information to any that may fall into like circumstances; for I really knew no more of law than the servant of the prophet knew of botany, when he gathered his lap full of wild gourds, and had nearly poisoned the whole school.  p. 1402 Kings, iv. 39.  Soon after this, another trouble arose amongst the congregation, about the place of worship; and here were many contentions.  My sincere friends, fearing some persons were laying plans to get it out of my hands, and, for want of understanding each other, a great deal of warmth was manifested on both sides.  These things being daily brought to me, exceedingly troubled my spirit; but, after praying, these words came with power to my soul—“They shall not build, and another inhabit.”  And, as the subject was much on my mind in the day, it was not to be wondered at that it should affect me in the night; as I one night dreamed of a chariot, which I had often dreamt of before—as it passed by me, I saw, on the back of it, in very large letters, “Immanuel!  God with us!”  When I awoke, I felt a holy confidence all would be well upon that business, and so if proved the night before, but I knew it not till next day at noon.  What a mercy to be enabled to call on the Lord in every time of trouble, and to watch his good hand.  But I was no sooner released from this anxiety, than a fresh trouble arose.  A gentleman who had been, till this time, almost a stranger to myself and the church, was raised up of God, in this hour of need, to look after my outward affairs, and this he did freely and kindly; he was truly assiduous, nor did he spare any pains, time, trouble, or money to do me good; and, though God had been pleased to remove others, on whom I depended, he mercifully raised up one to act as a friend, whom I hardly knew.  Like Nicodemus, p. 141who could not, or dare not, scarcely own the Saviour in his life, yet paid him honours at his death.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.”  This old, but just adage, reminds me of what school-boys are taught—

“Tell me, ye knowing and discerning few,
Where I may find the friend that’s firm and true;
Who dare stand by me, when in deep distress,
And then his love and friendship most express.”

This friend, in the height of his praise-worthy conduct, was very shamefully imposed upon by an artful villain, who professed to have great influence with the higher powers—and by this means he, at different times, obtained a large sum of money of him, under the specious pretext of obtaining my liberation.  This was carried on for some months, till Mr. D. began to suspect there was some villainy in it; and, upon enquiry at the Secretary of State’s Office, found it as he feared.  The base character was apprehended, and justly imprisoned for it.  This was another severe blow to me, taking all the circumstances into the account; yet the pleasing hopes of liberty wore away many tedious months, till patience received strength.

I was, at times, amazed at the health of body the Lord favoured me with; but the winter came on, at first, very severe, though it did not last long.—This was to me very dreadful; it was the gloomy month of November.  Another trial came.  A person, in real kindness, at my request, brought me a very small portion of liquor, on one of those days in p. 142which we may truly say we have pleasure—foggy, cold, damp, and miserable.  I knew, indeed, it was contrary to the laws of the place, but urgent necessity compelled me to send for it.  This being discovered, my poor friend was brought into trouble, and a heavy fine was levied.  You may be sure this made a fresh stir in the public papers, with many additions, though not one true statement of the fact was made; but that passed away like a cloud.  That which most distressed me was the solemn and awful times of execution; but those, however, were very few, two of which I have given an account of in the 1st volume of “The Voice of Faith.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXVIII.

“And the king said unto Zadok, carry back the ark of God into the city.  If I shall find favour in the eyes of the Lord, he will bring me again, and shew we both it and his habitation.”

To —

It is a truth, easily proved, that every believer has more mercies to be thankful for, than he has either sins to regret, or troubles to bear: it is of the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed.  This I call to mind, therefore I have hope.  They are new every morning.  Great is thy faithfulness.  That same faithful God which preserved Israel in Egypt, Moses in Midian, David in Gath, the three worthies in the furnace, Daniel in the den, the disciples in Jerusalem, p. 143and the church in Babylon, preserved me in this place.  I cannot look back upon my many mercies but with gratitude.  But where will the growing numbers end?  This subject would fill a vast volume; but, in brief, I mention only a few:—the attention and kindness of the governor and officers; and, although every returning Sabbath afflicted my mind severely, the very sound of the church-going bells, brought a thousand pangs to my heart: yet I was relieved by hearing the real gospel preached nearly every Sunday, once a day, by the excellent chaplain, the rev. Mr. Mann.  Oh, that every college was as much blessed with such preaching.  This was no small mercy.  All within the walls were submissive and attentive to me.  I had an opportunity of conversing with many on the best of subjects, and was well furnished with ability to alleviate many a distressed mind, and to relieve some hundreds in their temporal calamities; for it is to little purpose talking about religion to worldlings, without acts of benevolence.

Numerous friends daily visited me, and never failed me, during the long period of seven hundred and thirty days.  My health was re-established, and I had much time for reading, prayer, self-examination, and study.  Here I received many tokens of love from the Lord, bearing witness, with my spirit, that I was interested in his love.  Here I wrote a vast many letters to the church and to my friends.  I wrote also my “Farewell Sermon;” “Antinomianism Refuted;” “The Voice of Faith,” 2 vols.; p. 144“A Treatise on part of the Book of Proverbs,” the greatest part of my own Memoirs, and other subjects, which I hope, one day, to publish.

The dear friends who came to see me, I constantly bore in mind, and thanked them in a few gingling rhymes, as I am destitute of a talent for writing poetry: I hope they will forgive me inserting their names; nor need they fear persecution on this account, because so many individuals are to be found bearing the same name.

I employed as much time as circumstances would admit, in reading to the prisoners the Scriptures, which I at times endeavoured to explain, particularly on Sundays.  I read part of the church service, and other good books, especially some tracts by Mr. Smith, of Penzance—his “Bob and James,”—there being many sailors present.  In this act I copied the example of Dr. Primrose, in the Vicar of Wakefield, although I had a little better place, company, behaviour, and attention.  I must insert a quotation from it.  The old gentleman says, after some conversation with his family—

“I left them, and descended to the common prison, where I found the prisoners very merry, expecting my arrival; and each prepared with some gaol trick to play upon the doctor.  Thus, as I was going to begin, one turned my wig awry, as if by accident, and then asked my pardon.  A second, who stood at a distance, had a knack of spitting through his teeth, which fell in showers upon my book; a third would cry ‘amen,’ in such an affected p. 145tone, as gave the others great delight.  A fourth had slily picked my pocket of my spectacles: but there was one whose tricks gave more universal pleasure than all the rest; for, observing the manner in which I had disposed my books on the table before me, he very dexterously displaced one of them, and put an obscene jest-book of his own in the place.  However, I took no notice of all that this mischievous group of little beings could do, but went on, perfectly sensible that what was ridiculous in my attempt would excite mirth only the first or second time, while what was serious would be permanent.  My design succeeded; and, in less than six days, some were penitent, and all attentive.”

Thus my time rolled away, and appeared, as our lives do in the retrospect, but as a tale that is told every moment, and every circumstance being told out in eternity for us.

The period arrived for me to quit my solitary mansion, and make my appearance again in public.  This was dreaded by me, on some accounts, but, by others, much desired.  Every thing was well arranged, and the morning came; a part of my family and a few friends came to meet me; every thing around appeared at first very strange.  When I arrived at my house, I bent my knees in thanksgiving to that gracious God who had restored me.

In the evening I preached to nearly one thousand hearers, who were very quiet, attentive, and gratified.  All united, with one heart and voice, in singing

“Crown him Lord of all.”

p. 146I preached on, “But God meant it unto good.”  The sermon was afterwards printed.  I commenced my regular labours the Sunday following, where without cessation, I have continued them six times a week.  Curiosity has, doubtless, drawn forth the attention of thousands, since then, to hear and see the strange being: many have heard to profit, and are satisfied.  Some said, he is a good man; others, he is a devil.  I say he is both, and I can prove it.  Some say, he is a guilty man; others, that he is innocent—but I say he is both, and the reader will say the same, if he knows his own heart, and his acceptance in Christ.

Beloved, if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and knoweth all things; but, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence towards God.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXIX.

“For better is a neighbour that is near, than a brother that is far off.”

To —

It is a good remark I have somewhere met with—that friendship is a plant of too delicate a nature to grow with any great degree of luxuriancy and fruitfulness in the soil of the human heart; but I ever wish to prize its buds, its blossoms, its fruit, its very leaves; but, above all, its divine root.  We may p. 147find many profess much kindness in the warmth of prosperity; but these summer insects, like butterflies, disappear when the cold blasts of adversity and reproach strike off a few of our outward comforts.  But while this is to be lamented, yet God has often raised up those who have been sincere in their professions of attachment to his people, in all ages, and who have firmly stood by them, and gave them all the assistance they were able, in the depth of their afflictions; nor have they been unrewarded, at least, many of them, even in this world—nor shall they be forgotten of the Lord in the last day.—Matt. xxv. and close.

Abraham had three faithful friends, Aner, Eschol, and Mamre.  The Lord raised up a friend for Joseph in trouble, and for David in his deep affliction, and for the great apostle for whom he prays—that he, Onesiphorus, may find mercy in that day, for he hath oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain.  Such friends are the gift of the Friend of Sinners, and such friendship is a part of conformity to his image; praying for one another in secret; reproving with meekness, but fidelity, when permitted to err; speaking well of each other, when absent, and helping each other in trouble, are the genuine fruits of divine love in the heart; and such I have found many: and, although opposed for their candour, affection, and liberality; yet, considering they had a just right to form an opinion of their own, so they had as much right to maintain the same.  Narrow minds who form opinions by bare report, are p. 148easily biassed, and generally bigotted; of course, such mean souls must persecute all who differ from them.  This is the case in the professing world, at present; and it is much to be lamented.  However, I have made free to inform you of some of those who have acted in a Christ-like manner to me in trouble, and have too much good sense to view me either as a perfect angel, or an incarnate devil; and to you I send these gingling rhymes:—

REAL FRIENDSHIP.
From Achor Vale.—1818.

On the subject of friendship I beg leave to write,
’Tis the joy of my heart, and my daily delight;
Though but little is found, that is true and sincere,
I think, in my case, an exception is clear.
The God of all grace, on whom I depend,
Has blessed his servant, with many a friend,
Who have not been afraid, or ever asham’d,
To esteem and to own him in sorrow and pain.
One half of the faithful and firm I’ve forgot,
And many besides, whose names I know not;
Yet those who occur this moment to mind,
My God will reward in their being so kind;
And more so they’d be, if it laid in their pow’r,
To soften my woes in this trying hour.
May the love of the Lord, which he bears to his saints,
Encourage their hearts, when ready to faint
With the cares, and the burdens, and griefs of the way,
And acknowledge them all in the last trying day.
p. 149See this promise so sweetly and clearly reveal’d
By the Head of the Church, in the great gospel field;
Particularly in Matthew, the Saviour rehearses
In 25th chapter, and some excellent verses.
I must tell you of Hairbys, and Elbro’s and Park,
With a Knawler, a Duke, a Smith, and a Clarke;
A Fossett, a Grumuat, and a kind-hearted Trail,
Whose care and concern, like the Lord’s, never fail.
Nor can I forget my friend, Mr. Denny,
Who stood up for my good as undaunted as any.
Our worthy clerk, Shelton, has oft stood the fire,
When many in envy and rage did conspire.
I feel much indebted to dear brother Gray,
And all those beside, who preach and who pray;
And fill up my place, that there might be no lack
Of the gospel of grace, till God brings me back.
With all those dear friends, who supply all my needs,
Kind Miller, her mother, and two worthy Meads;
An Osborne, a Davis, a Harris and Gower,
Who on me and on mine their gifts often pour;
A Harbro, a Sweetland, and Allen, and King,
Who sometimes send favours, and sometimes they bring;
And many also, who have well stood the brunt,
A Pattison, Puddicombe, Hutchins, and Hunt;
Nor do I forget our friend Hutchinson,
As well as kind Kings, some old and some young;
And Westbrook, and Knapp, who have oft took my part,
And Williams, a Farley, and London, and Smart;
A Boro, a Blake, and dear father Bevan,
With their partners in life, who are going to heaven;
And Goodmans, and Roberts, some Hills, and a Bell,
And Thornton, and Mansion, and Edwards, and Dale.
I remember, likewise, a Houghton, and Field,
With a firm friend of their’s, who never would yield
To the fabulous stuff, and ridiculous story,
But remained as firm as the faithful M. Morey.
p. 150The names of a Jones, and a Chadsby are dear,
And Salter, and Lewis, and Frimbley sincere;
A Brook, and a Bradley, a Buhle, and a Wise,
A much-esteem’d Farmer, who ne’er has despis’d;
A Hedgecock, and Lamb, who are both very kind,
As such permanent friendship we seldom can find;
And dear father Elstub, and Shires, and Booth,
Who often endeavour my sorrows to soothe.
I must mention some more, as they are so good,
A Ward, and a Whitear, who undaunted have stood;
A Paynter, a Waters, and Carpenter too,
With his Brother, and Fuller, and Jennison true;
More Watkins, and Smiths, who have well stood the fires,
And old daddy Foyer, and two good Marias;
A Parnicutt, and Archer, who have stood many rubbings,
And Barrett, and Steggall, and Shephard, and Stubbings
An Atkins, a Pollet, and Farrers, and Thorn,
And as faithful a Watts as ever was born;
A Bayles, a Dennage a Bates, and a Brown,
Who are grieved to see my sad casting down;
A Paton, a Chambers, a Juden, and Pytches,
An Orchard, and Hunter, who are seeking true riches;
A Joseph, a Jolliffe, a Druce, and a Manger,
A very kind Mackie, and Perrins, and Granger;
And Wilkins, and Eaton, and Faro, and North,
Who are lov’d by the Lord, and redeemed from wrath;
With Millingtons, Boltons, and dear Mrs. Round,
And the much belov’d Hans, whose care still abounds;
The exercis’d Robinson, Ward, Nelson, and Ford,
And Marshal and Lucas, who’re trusting the Lord;
With poor Jenny Powell, and Martin, and Fishers,
And Darby, and Wilson, my very good wishers;
And Foster, and Court, and Davies, and Dee,
And Mary, her friend, and kind Barbary;
And Chapman, and Calow, and Davies, and Reeds,
And some very good Lawsons, who supply many needs;
p. 151A dear friendly Groom, and Napier, and Swindle,
A Tomlins, and Marshal, whose care does not dwindle;
A much-esteem’d Walton, and neice, so sincere,
And many besides, to my mind who are dear;
A Wright, and a Pearson, and Hepworth, and Mott,
Thus you see, my dear friends, I am not quite forgot;
And Leonard, and Wallace, and Masland, and Pain,
Who are praying, and waiting to hear me again;
With Freeman, and Wilkins, and Cornish, and Sherman,
Who love much to hear a real gospel sermon;
And Dibley, and Dudley, and Tungate, and Fleet,
And Candler, and Knox, whom I long much to meet;
The very dear friends, whose names are call’d Cross,
Whom God has sustained in every loss;
And Williams, and Eves, whose hearts are kept single,
And Upstill, and Miles, a Cook, and an Ingle;
With a March, and a Beat, and exercis’d Green,
Who often in sorrow and grief have me seen;
And good Mrs. Butcher, and Baker, beside.
Who have firmly stood for me, whatever betide;
And Fairfleet, and Tye, and Woodhouse, and Long,
And Goodly, his brother, and kind Esther Young;
And Claytons, and Jackson, and Lewis, and Rose,
And Thornton, and Miland, a Burnham, and Hose;
And Drewet, and Mars, and Reardon, and Aikin,
Who have seen me cast down, but never forsaken;
And Woodward, and Youngs, and Venning, and Horner,
Another friend Brown, and the tried Mrs. Warner;
A Winch, and a Hone, a Turner, and Pool,
The tried Underdown, who is in the same school;
The sincere Mrs. Grant, and Missen, and Leigman,
The Paddington Friends, and old mammy Bridgman;
Good old Mrs. Clark, and Thompson, and Cowen,
A very kind Johnson, and Whitehead, and Owen;
The kind Mr. Wilson, and firm Mrs. Baily,
And Poulter, and Barns, who esteem’d me sincerely;
p. 152But ’tis time I conclude this gingling writing,
Not forgetting dad Round, and the sweet-temper’d Whiting;
With a hundred besides, whose names I’ve forgot,
But in the last day will stand in their lot.

Do not you think, in a few years time, I shall be as apt a poet, as good old Bunyan?

Please to regularly regulate these irregular irregularities.

I cannot conclude this letter without reminding you of the apostolic exhortation—“As we have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, but especially to the household of faith;” and if to this household we sow sparingly, we shall reap sparingly; and if we sow bountifully, we shall reap bountifully; and on this subject of kindness to God’s children, as such, our dear Lord declares—“He that receiveth a prophet, in the name of a prophet, shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man, in the name of a righteous man, shall receive a righteous man’s reward; and whosoever shall give unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only, in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall, in no wise, lose his reward.”—Matthew, x. 41, 42.  And, very frequently, such are rewarded in this world, in temporal mercies, for the kindness they have shewn to the members of Christ.  The widow of Sarepta, nourished the Prophet Elijah in her house, during the whole time of famine; and how did the Lord abundantly recompence her, by daily increasing her oil and meal, whereby her family was preserved; by restoring her son to life again, after p. 153his soul was departed; and by causing the prophet to continue with her many months, to feed her soul with spiritual, as she had his body with temporal food?  How abundantly did the Lord recompence the Shunamite’s kindness to Elisha, by the gift of a child, after long barrenness; by restoring her son to life again; by forewarning her of approaching famine; and by restoring all she had lost by her long absence—her house and lands?  God had blest Job with a merciful heart; and he relates what the Lord had enabled him to do—chap. xxix. and xxxi.  And, although afterwards he was stripped of all he possessed, to answer the wise and gracious ends of God towards him; yet, we read, chap. xlii. that the Lord turned the captivity of Job, and gave him twice as much as he had before, and blessed his latter end more than his beginning.  In the history of the apostle, Paul, we read of one Publius, Acts, xxviii. the chief man of the island of Malta, (where the apostle and many others were cast by shipwreck;) this kind man received Paul and his companions, and lodged them courteously.  We read, soon afterwards, how the father of Publius, laying desperately sick of a fever and bloody flux, was recovered by St. Paul, and restored to his former health.  So, likewise, the kindness which the barbarous people of that island shewed unto Paul and his fellow travellers, was recompensed with the cure of many of their sick bodies.

A thousand other instances might be produced, of ancient and of modern date.  And, supposing no p. 154reward is experienced in this world, the God of truth has declared—“Thou shalt be recompensed in the resurrection of the just.”  This is evident in the close of Matthew, xxv.—“Inasmuch as ye did it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye did it unto me.”—No doubt the cruel tongue of fallen man may criticise and censure such conduct, but, acting from a motive of Bible love, such persons will meet with their reward: envy, detraction and cruelty is in the heart and conduct of thousands, but woe unto him by whom the offence, the slander, cometh—it had been better for him if he had never been born.  But what are those whose tongues are worlds of iniquity, and whose teeth are swords and spears?  As saith the Poet—

                        —“No, ’tis slander;
Whose edge is sharper than the sword; whose tongue
Outvenoms all the worms of Nile; whose breath
Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie
All corners of the world: kings, queens, and states,
Maids, matrons, nay, the secrets of the grave
This viperous slander enters.”

But the Redeemer saith—“And blessed is he that is not offended in me.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXX.

“And thou shalt remember all the way the Lord thy God hath led thee in the wilderness, these forty years, to prove thee and to humble thee.”

To —

Having complied with your request, in stating the brief account of myself, in infancy, youth, and p. 155manhood, a few of the ups and downs, ins and outs, turnings and windings, in a way of providence.—I can but look back with gratitude to that Divine hand that has led me, and kept, supported, upheld, and blest me.  Having obtained needed but undeserved help, I continue to this day.  For all my errors in life I take shame and confusion of face; and for all the mercies I have experienced, which I am sensible of, and the unnumbered mercies which I never apprehended; I bow my knees to the God of all grace, and say, “Not unto me, not unto me, but to thy name be all the glory.”  And what can I say more?  It well becometh the just to be thankful.  Gratitude, blessing, and praise is the sacrifice of the heart and lips, which is due to God.  The Lord be pleased to maintain this spirit in our minds.  Gratitude is sometimes excited and led out by the retrospect we take of the Lord’s dealings with us, and discerning his love and wisdom in all his dispensations, however gloomy for the time; yet we can see it was right, uniform, though various.  The blessed design towards us is to humble, try, and prove us, that we may know what is in our hearts; both to lament and to be thankful for, and that we may know the love of God’s heart towards us.

I have stated but a few of the many great things the Lord hath done for me; and no doubt many friends wish I had omitted some things which I have related, and had been a little more explicit on others.  I may also see these improprieties myself, and correct them in my next edition.

p. 156I now proceed to give a short account of my spiritual experience, which I trust, will be a little more edifying than the former part of this little work.  May the great Head of the Church make it so to his own children; and, if they reap the least benefit by reading, God shall have the praise.  While I remain,

Yours, J. C.

END OF PART I.

p. 157PART II.

Convictions—Strivings—Bondage—Liberty—Promises—Encouragements—Success in Ministry—Temptations—Deliverances—Answers to Prayer—Present Situation and Experience.

LETTER I.

“And all thy children shall be taught of God.”

To —

As God is determined to bring all his dear people home to glory, as the objects of his everlasting love, the subjects of his eternal choice, as the predestinated to the adoption of sons, as the purchase of his blood, and as the preserved in Christ Jesus, so, the means for their preparation for that glory is clearly specified in the Word—“Without holiness no man shall see the Lord;”—and this holiness is the Lord Jesus, as the elect Head of the Church.  The wisdom, righteousness, and sanctification of them; but there can be no supernatural knowledge or enjoyment of p. 158the adorable Saviour, in this or in a coming world, till we are born again by the Spirit.  It is the high privilege of God’s elect to be saved in the Lord with an everlasting salvation; but they must be born again to know it.  The elect people of God stand complete in Christ, before the Father; they are one in him, and with him; they are eternally pardoned and justified in Christ, and by Christ; but they must be born again to apprehend, lay hold, and be spiritually acquainted with those things; for Divine Truth has asserted—“Verily, I say unto you, except a man be born again, he cannot see [enjoy] the kingdom of heaven.”  Men may profess much, talk well, write well, and preach well; but they are still in nature’s darkness, except this change has passed on them.  This is called a new birth, a new creature, the good work, a translation, a calling, a transforming, a renewing: but, let this work go by what name it may, it is simply a change of state, and a change of principles, which produces a change of conduct.  It is not a change of nature, but of state.  Our sinful nature experiences no change; it is bridled, restrained, ruled, and kept in, but it is nature still.  Neither is it any change on the body; only the members, through grace, are used in the service of God.  I once thought this divine change was a change of nature.  I once thought the body was the old man of sin; and no heart can conceive the labour, toil, tears, fastings, fears, horrors, and pains I have experienced, in consequence of these mistakes, which is nothing but labour in vain; for p. 159this Ethiopian cannot change his skin, nor this leopard his spots.  That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and will remain so.

The dear people of God are viewed complete in Christ, and their salvation is the joint work of the Most Holy Trinity: man has no hand in the business.  We had no hand in the first creation, and we have none in the second.  O, that I had known this at first; what bondage and distress it would have saved me from!  It is also a glorious truth, that Christ has finished the work of salvation; that he has stood in our law-place; that he has fulfilled the law, and that we have nothing to do with it as a covenant of works.  The Lord Jesus, as the surety of his church, has put away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and is gone to heaven to plead our cause before the Father.  Had I known the everlasting virtue of his blood, or the glory of his obedience, O, what soul distresses should I have escaped! but when just wrought upon by the Spirit, sitting under a blind ministry, and reading legal blind authors, it is not to be wondered at that a soul should beheld in bondage.  It was my case for some time; and even after I had heard, and, in a measure, received the truth, still the devil was permitted to deceive me with a sad snare, till the Lord led me to see the difference between the work of the Spirit and the moving of the natural passions; the difference between the love of God and those inordinate affections which led me into error.  I would to God I possessed ability to point out to you these things p. 160clearly, that you and all God’s dear people might see the snare, and be delivered from it: for, truly in vain is the snare laid in the sight of any bird.

The want of the knowledge of the glorious plan of the gospel was the occasion of much distress to my soul; and a want of the knowledge of the devices of the devil, held me long in bondage and sorrow.  Oh, what a mercy to be made wise unto present and eternal salvation.  But I beg leave here to observe, the Holy Spirit is a sovereign in all his dispensations of grace in the hearts of his dear people.  He hath said, “I will dwell in thee, and all thy children shall be taught of God;” but there are very few, I humbly conceive, can possibly tell the precise time when the Spirit enters the soul; this is known but by few, except in very singular cases, such as Manasseh, Mary Magdalen, the converted thief, the apostle Paul, the Philippian Jailor, and such persons whose conversion is very conspicuous and remarkable.  But, in general, the Lord, the holy and condescending Spirit, seems (if I may be allowed the expression) to hover over those he intends effectually to call out of darkness into marvellous light, till that time is come, that his in-dwelling takes place, and the work is manifest to the soul, and to others around.  Many are impressed in infancy; some by dreams; others by deep afflictions; and some have actually received the Spirit of God in the womb, as Jeremiah and John the Baptist.

The greatest part of God’s children in the church can, perhaps, remember some very early impressions p. 161although they have not had the real work made clear to them for many years afterwards.  Hence the work on the heart is called a birth—the soul is united to Christ in an everlasting covenant; the seed is the word, the quickening is the life put forth; and there is a longing to bring forth—that is, to see our interest in Christ—to see our sins pardoned—to feel peace with God, and to be blest with the clear witness of the Spirit, that we belong to God.  Some labour long, some are more quick and easy; some souls have had bad attendants, ministers, books, and friends, who, as Job says, knew not the way to the vineyard;—and Solomon says, “They know not the way to the city.”  But the Lord takes this work in his own hand, and he will perfect that which concerneth us; he will not forsake this work of his own hands.

I beg you to observe, the soul is the seat of the new man; it is not the creation of a new soul, but it is a divine in-dwelling of the Spirit; a partaking of a divine nature.  This is the new bottle which the Saviour alludes to, which alone can hold the gracious manifestations of divine love, and all the truth, as it is in Jesus.  This is the new heart, and the right spirit, and it consists in these five things—

1st.—Divine light in the understanding; this is secret and gradual.

2nd.—Divine life in the will; a quickening, powerful influence, which begets holy desires that nothing can satisfy, but a covenant God in Christ.—Isaiah, lxvi.

p. 1623rd.—Divine love, or holy affection for the Saviour, his person, work, ways, word, and people.

4th.—A quickened conscience, made sensible of pardon, and favoured with holy peace with God, through the atonement and righteousness of the Mediator.

5th.—The witness of the Spirit, by the Word, to the heart, proving the work on the soul to be genuine.

I do not say this witness of the Spirit is essential to constitute the new man; but it is essential to the knowledge of this blessed work on the soul.  These five capital blessings are the evidences of our union to Christ, as the Head of the Church, and the Saviour of the body: and, as God the Holy Spirit shall condescend to bring things to my remembrance, and shed a radiance on the heavenly path, so I will relate it in as few words as I can.

May he bless you with all that is implied in that sweet promise, and thine age shall be clearer than the noon day; thou shalt shine forth; thou shalt be as the morning.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER II.

“Thou leddest thy people like a flock of sheep, by the hands of Moses and Aaron.”

To —

From a very early period the Lord began to work on my mind.  I was bred up to the Church of p. 163England, to which I was so superstitiously attached, that I held the two clergymen who officiated in that place in their sacerdotals, as angels; and I do think, had they spoken to me, when I was a boy, in their full robes, I should almost have swooned.  But, alas! I have since seen they were neither angels of God nor of the churches; for, perhaps, there could not be two darker guides in the church than they were.

I was, at times, most seriously imprest with thoughts of God, heaven, and hell; and was, in some measure, convinced of the evil of external sin.  As long as I can remember, I punctually attended to the prayers of the church, and read them with much seeming devotion, not only at church, but at other times.  As I grew up, I got more hardened in sin and folly, yet natural conscience never let me alone; I was, at times, closely followed up by legal convictions, which drove me to say many prayers, while the thoughts of God’s anger, the hour of death, the day of judgment, the horrors of hell, and the views of eternity, quite sunk my spirits.  Nor could I shake these thoughts of eternity off, which I often tried to do, by youthful pastimes.  Gloomy fears would often seize my mind, till I dreaded to be alone; night was often a terror; but I endeavoured to patch up a peace with God, by vows to be better, by dragging through duties, such as reading prayers, saying the Belief, and keeping the Prayer Book in my pocket by day, and under my pillow by night.

When I was about 14 years of age, there was to be p. 164a confirmation by the bishop, at St. George’s church, Hanover-square: I was advised to go, and was endeavouring to prepare myself for this solemn act—but having a perpetual sense of some sins upon my mind, I could not, in conscience, go.  I attempted to satisfy conscience, and to please God by my constant attendance on the church, and by my prayers and reading; but, alas! it was all in vain.  I found these insufficient.  I bought the “Whole Duty of Man,” [164] and sometimes laboured hard with that; p. 165the “Christian Monitor,” and several other such wretched books; Allen and Baxter’s “Alarm to the Unconverted;” which left me just as I was, as they have thousands of the unconverted beside.  But, as to the gospel plan of salvation, I knew no more about it than the poor heathen in foreign climes.

The family in which I lived were inimical to the gospel; they hated and persecuted all that dissented from the church, or professed religion.  I had often heard them jeer the Methodists, for so religious people are called, whether Churchmen or Dissenters, and represent them as enemies to the church, to which I was so warmly attached.  I also enquired what these people believed, and gained a most frightful description of them: as first, they prayed and preached without a book, except the Bible; that the preachers were only common ignorant mechanics; that they believed God had made some men to be saved, do what they would, and others to be damned, if they were ever so good; that they believed in three Gods; p. 166and that a man could not be saved, if he repented and did a thousand good works; and, in short, that they were all hypocrites together.

These lies and misrepresentations were instilled into my mind, against the true followers of Christ.  For some years I felt my enmity in my heart against them, and would have had them all banished the country, if I could.  I have stood at the door of the house, and been grieved to see the people go to the meeting.  My hatred rose against them in an awful manner; nor would I, for all the world, go into any chapel belonging to them; for I was told, if a person went in, they would catch their infection directly.

Alas! how awfully blind is man, by nature! an enemy in his mind, by wicked works.  This is the true state of the case; and, a person dying in this state, cannot see the face of God.  However, the Lord had mercy on me, and brought me acquainted with the truths which I once hated; the God I had sinned against; and to love and esteem the people I had despised.  This is, indeed, bringing a man out of darkness into marvellous light; and it well may be called marvellous, astonishing, rich, and free.  And sure I am, that every man destitute of the converting grace of God, is in just the same state which I was.  Although they know it not, a mere profession of the gospel does not alter the secret enmity to God and his people.  It is an awful thing to have such enmity, but it is a special mercy to see it; and, above all, to feel it, removed by the power of truth, and the sovereign love of God, in Christ Jesus, to us:—this was p. 167my sad case.  A slave to sin, an enemy to God, plunged in darkness, no acquaintance with the gospel, and kept from hearing it, by pride, prejudice, and carnal enmity.  Yet I passed as a very serous and devout youth, among many: it is true, I did not run into particular excesses, but no thanks to me for neither my situation nor my pocket would let me; yet my youthful follies and enmity would have damned me, if I had died in that state: but the family in which I lived were at this time taken up with the lying system of Swedenbourg, called the New Jerusalem.  I begged leave, one evening, to go to their chapel; this pleased me highly, as there were written prayers and sermons, with good music, and pretty singing.  I read some of their books, and soon imbibed their notions of the Trinity, which were as far from truth as heaven is from hell.  They denied the personality of the Father, and the adorable Spirit, and Christ crucified, as the object of religious worship, only Christ as glorified; alledging that Christ is the only divine person in the Trinity, and that he is the Trinity itself.  Hence their form of baptism reads thus:—

“I baptize thee in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ; who is at once both Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Amen.”

This is holding a lie; and those who go down to the grave with this falsehood, where God is they never can come.  The Father teaches us out of his law, clothes us with the righteousness of his dear Son, and draws us to Christ, while the Holy Spirit p. 168shews us the excellency, glory, and suitableness of Christ, and, in due time, bears his witness to our consciences, that we are born of God; and those who are thus taught, learn the doctrine of the Trinity experimentally.  “For there are three that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit, and these three are one.”  The Lord graciously communicates the three-fold witness to the souls of his own dear people; the Spirit, the water of eternal love, and the precious work of Christ, as the atonement, and righteousness of the church.—And that believer who is thus favoured, has the mark of heaven upon him, he is renewed into the image of Christ, and will be owned by him in the last day.

What shall I render to the Lord for this teaching?  A thousand notions of the doctrine of the Trinity, however clear they may be, will never bring a man to heaven; he must have the love of the Father in his heart, and the blood of atonement in his conscience, by the operation of the Eternal Spirit.  This, and this only, is real heart-felt religion, which will stand the test in life, death, judgment, and eternity.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER III.

“But all things that are reproved, are made manifest by the light: for, whatsoever maketh manifest, is light.”

To —

The New Jerusalem folks leaving the neighbourhood, I was again obliged to return to the church: p. 169this seemed heavy and dull to me; and convictions abiding with me of my lost state, I could not satisfy conscience, nor find peace with God, nor victory over my sins, by all my legal performances.  I was, at times, truly wretched; yet it appeared right to me, that as I had offended God by sin, I should do some good works [169]—though, alas! I found all my best works stained by falling into sin again; still I strove to watch over my thoughts, words, and actions—yet, often led captive by sin, I was made truly miserable.

About this time I fell in company with several pious persons; amongst them was an aged disciple, a hearer of Mr. Romaine, who advised me, by all means, to go and hear the gospel; but, as it was not preached in any parish church or chapel near me, but one, and I was forbidden to go to a meeting, I knew not what to do; but the above person directed me where I might hear Mr. Romaine, which I p. 170promised to do, the first Sunday I could get out: but, alas! before that time came, dear Mr. Romaine was gone to glory.  I sought, however, for an opportunity of hearing the gospel, for I was tired with hearing sermons read on mere morality at the church.

It was during the hard and severe winter of 1795, that I first heard the words of this life.  I was sent on an errand, one Lord’s-day evening, in the month of March, and passing by Mr. Huntington’s chapel, it being the only chapel in the neighbourhood where the gospel was preached, I heard the congregation singing; and as it was night, I thought I should not be seen by any one who knew me, and I therefore ventured in.  The good man arose, and took his text, which was in the 3rd chapter of Zephaniah, 18, 19, 20.  The minister began his sermon about light, I suppose, from the context.  What he said I know not; but this I know, I felt as though a ray of light entered into my mind, in a most sensible manner.  The scales fell off from my eyes, and I was dissolved into tears: although the text, I believe, was not to be fully accomplished in my experience for many years after.  I dumbly apprehend this light was the beginning of my spiritual birth; all convictions, before this period, were attended with bondage, and much legal striving, to obtain the favor of God, by working hard for it; ignorance of the way of salvation; and enmity of the heart against the truth and people of God: but, from this period, I am able to date a change—for, instead of the hatred p. 171I had, for some years to the Lord’s people, truth, and ways, I lost my prejudice, and was indeed most warmly attached to the few whom I knew professed the gospel.  I read the Word, and what evangelical books were lent me, with new eyes; I saw the minister and people, whom I had despised, in a very different light, and would have given ten thousand worlds to be like them; I saw the excellency, suitableness, and beauty of the Saviour; the importance of the knowledge of God, and the value of pardoning mercy so clearly, that I think I could have died a martyr to see my interest in Christ.  I was brought on, gradually, to understand the plan of salvation; the doctrines of the gospel began to open to my wondering view; I found the truth in my mind, like the rising of the light of the day, it shone more and more—and, as I saw it, I loved it, prayed to feel its power, and ran to hear it when I could—though this was chiefly by stealth, for fear of persecution: but, although we ought never to court persecution, yet it is folly to run from it.

The change I had experienced in my mind and views, was soon discovered, and no small trouble I gained by it; I was strictly forbidden to hear the Word, and was frequently horsewhipped for going to the meeting, with innumerable jeers and scoffs: this tried me a little; I waxed more bold in the ways of God, and endeavoured to avoid giving any just cause of offence; but I found their carnal hearts, as mine was, at enmity with God; and I must confess, that persecution for the truth sake is p. 172often attended with a peace that the world knows nothing of.  The Lord carried on his own work, and gave me to see, Christ crucified was the only way to God, to holiness, and heaven.  It was not long after I had heard the Word, that I stole away at times to Tottenham-court Chapel, and heard a very solemn sermon, I believe by Mr. Durant, on Isaiah, xxvi. and last verses; also, soon after, by Mr. Groves, on the second coming of the Saviour.  These were awful subjects, and were attended with stirring me up, to plead hard that I might see my sins pardoned, and my interest clear in the love of God.

There is one particular circumstance I shall never forget, which I cannot suppress, as it is warm in my mind, being previously tinctured with Swedenbourgian notions—the Lord not only began to open my mind, to receive the truth, but gave me a most affecting sight of the Saviour, in open vision, in suffering circumstances.  I had run to the above place of worship, and Mr. Parsons had delivered a very affecting sermon on, “He, bearing his cross, went forth to a place called Golgotha;” but, alas! I was hard as a stone, during the sermon.  At the close, this hymn of (Mr. Whitfield’s Collection) was given out—

“When I survey the wond’rous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died”—

That moment I was favoured with a most solemn and affecting vision of the Saviour on the cross, apparently suspended between the roof of the chapel p. 173and the gallery opposite to where I stood; his sacred body appeared of a bluish hue, apparently with the bruises he had received; and the blood appeared to be fresh as it was shed from his hands, his head, his feet, and his side.  This continued a few moments, clearly presented to me.  I put my hat to my face, to conceal my tears from those around me, and returned home, musing on the affecting sight.  But this was not attended with any assurance of salvation, nor could I yet see my interest in him, nor call him mine; but it left me more than ever anxious to know the truth clearer, as it is in Jesus.  I told an old experimental Christian of it, some time after, and she told me, she had no doubt it was a signal of, my spiritual birth, and that I should one day be called, perhaps, to preach a crucified Saviour to others.

I do not pretend to say this vision was any part of my salvation, but surely it was a token for good; and no heart can conceive the sacred joy I felt some time afterwards, in reading the history of the conversion of Constantine the Great, by a sight of the cross in the air; and the vision of a crucified Saviour, which was given to Colonel Gardiner; Mr. Connick’s and Mr. Hart’s experience; and the affecting views given those good men of the Lord Jesus, in his suffering circumstances.  Isaiah saw the same; but Daniel, Ezekiel, and John saw the dear Saviour, as glorified.  However, the Spirit leading us into all truth, and glorifying Christ, by shewing us his salvation, is the one thing needful.

Adieu.  J. C.

p. 174LETTER IV.

“Seek ye me, and ye shall live, saith the Lord.”

To —

Various were my frames, changes, fears, doubts, and hopes, till I could ascertain my “Title clear to mansions in the skies.”  Nothing, I thought, could possibly make me sensible of this, and the pardon of my sins, but some powerful voice from heaven, or some wonderful appearance of the Saviour to me, in a visible form.  I have sat a long time together, looking up in the air for some glorious visions of Christ; then I thought the Lord would assure me of pardon; then I hoped he would take away the power of sin, and so effectually subdue it, that I should never sin any more.  This was my hope and expectation; for this I prayed constantly and fervently—and having read of the various appearances of the Saviour to some good men, and that conversion was a change of nature, I had a pleasing hope that this would one day be my happy lot.  When sin overcame me, then I despaired of such a favour, and when could pray well, and walk strictly holy, then my hopes were big:—in this way I went on for many months, even though I sat under the sound of the gospel.  But who could have thought this was all delusion: I found it to be so after; and have often wondered I could be so blind, when I had not the least promise of any such revelations, or such a change of nature.  Many, who have been deluded with wonderful visions, and others who have boosted p. 175of this change of nature, and have got almost perfect, have since turned out perfect devils.  My soul was, however, very anxious to be saved; and continuing under the gospel, whenever I could hear it, my judgement got pretty clearly furnished.  I was led to see the glorious doctrines of the Trinity; eternal election; the atonement; and imputed righteousness of the Saviour, the necessity of the Spirit’s work, and the doctrine of the final perseverance of the saints.—These precious truths gradually opened to my view; but the power of sin, attended with a sense of guilt; the sense of God’s anger; the fears of death; the solemnities of the last great day; and an awful eternity, often sunk my mind: my heart, at times, meditated terror, and experienced many real and imaginary horrors.  When I looked at the holy law, it condemned me; and when it was opened to me, in its spirituality, I found that it reached to the thoughts and intents of the heart; then I died to all hope of salvation by that law; the Lord searched my heart, and shewed me some of the evils that were in it; I saw the justice of God in my condemnation, and was angry with God that I was ever created; and, as many others have, so I envied the pretty birds and the brute creation, because they had no souls, no day of judgment, nor any angry God to meet.  If I read the New Testament, I was just as bad off, as that cut me to the heart; for there I read—“He that believeth not shall be damned; he that believeth not is condemned already;” and, as I p. 176had made a profession: the following text was dreadful to my mind—“If we sin wilfully, after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sin.”  These awful texts were like swords in my heart; and when I reflected that God was immutable, that he could not change, that he is one mind, and I could not turn him by all my prayers, cries, or intreaties; these things, and the power and guilt of sin, I still felt with a deep sense of my own weakness and inability to do any thing that was good.  I say this complication of awful convictions fell, at times, very deeply upon my mind.  I knew, indeed, that Christ was able to save me, but I had no idea of his willingness: it was not with me now, whether I would be saved or not; but whether Christ would save me?  Here was no free-will in the business; I found it was not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, for I did both—but of God, which sheweth mercy.  Here, all the wooing and beseeching to close with Christ, which we hear from the pulpit, I found to be folly and madness; as well as the doctrine of universal salvation and redemption; for I could not believe that the Saviour died for me—and yet, amidst all these sensations, I was often encouraged by the Word, and the good conversation of others, especially by such promises as these: “Those that seek me early shall find me;” “Your heart shall live that seek God;” “Seek and ye shall find;” “Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out.”

p. 177I remember once opening upon a hymn, in Mr. Whitfield’s Collection, and found these two lines—

“It was for sinners Jesus died,
Then sure I heard he died for me.”

In a moment I felt a sensible ray of hope spring up in my heart, upon the ground of the atonement, and I think I have never lost that hope to this day: the Lord led me through all this soul travail, to see my need of a Mediator; one to stand in the gap; one that was able to lay his hands on both parties; God with God, and man with man; and I was at times highly favored with very precious views of Christ, in his offices and characters; yet I constantly feared I should die before I could see my interest in him, and before I could believe in him, though I believed in him all the while.  Yet I could not see, at that time, the difference between faith and sense, or faith and the end of faith.  I did not know there was any difference between faith, the assurance of faith, and the full assurance of faith.

One Sunday morning I heard Mr. Huntington, on Song, iii. 11.  Oh, what a sweet morning it was to me!  I had such a glorious view of the dear Saviour, that I would have given the universe for ability to call him mine.  But this sweet view went off, the veil closed again, and sin was ever before me.  At times I could open my mind freely, at the throne of grace; at other times I was so shut up that I thought it of no use; sometimes I was filled with desires, longings, hungerings, and thirstings after p. 178Christ; and then I was left in barrenness, carnal ease, and a dead calm, till sin was felt again, and my distress increased.  This one thing I found awfully true—

“The more I strove against sin’s power,
I sinned and stumbled yet the more.”

I found my strength perfect weakness; and sin, guilt, and satan, too strong for human ability.  I had many temptations to disbelieve the Bible, to doubt the very being of a God, and to entertain very hard thoughts of him.  I felt my rebellion rise, and found I was an enemy in my nature and practice.  These things troubled my spirit; yet the preaching of the Word, at times, sweetly encouraged me to hope.  I endeavoured to subdue sin, by various stratagems, but I found it was all toiling up Labour-in-vain Hill; and being beat out of every refuge, sinking in the miry clay; and finding the horrible pit, in some degree, but not so deep as many have, I longed to be brought to a point about my state; to see my sins pardoned; my interest clear; God reconciled and well pleased with me, in Christ.  I was, indeed, come to the birth, but had not yet strength to bring forth.  Yet none shall shut their doors, or kindle a fire on God’s altar for nought.  Those whom he chastens he will give rest to; and those who seek him shall find him, sooner or later.  “For the needy shall not always be forgotten; the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever.”

Yours, J. C.

p. 179These sweet lines were whispered to my soul with joy:—

“The vision is for an appointed time; though it tarry, wait for it; it will surely come, it will not tarry.”  For,

“The time of love will come,
   When thou shalt clearly see,
Not only that he shed his blood.
   But that it flow’d for thee.”

“For the children are come to the birth, but they have not strength to bring forth.”

“Shall I cause to travail, and not cause to bring forth? saith thy God.”

I hope you are so well versed in Scripture that you know where these precious texts lay, without my directing you.

LETTER V.

“Thou hast manifested thy name to the men thou gavest me out of the world.”

To —

What the Holy Spirit has declared in his Word, all the Lord’s children find most blessed; the Lord is good to them that wait for him; to the soul that seeketh him.  I have often found it very blessed to p. 180wait for the Lord; in waiting on him.  And this verse of Good Mr. Toplady’s was sweet to my soul:—

“But, Lord, if thou ne’er hast design’d
   No covenant blessing for me;
Then tell me how it is I find
   Such a sweetness in waiting for thee?”

The Lord will arise, in his own time, and have mercy upon Zion, when the set time to favour her is come.  And so I found it; for, one Friday morning, while working at my business, as well as I can remember, I was exceedingly low in mind, ruminating over my uncomfortable mind and feelings, I could truly say I was brought very low—when, suddenly, these words were darted into my mind—“The Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”  This was attended with such light and power as to astonish me.  I instantly felt sweet liberty of mind; I was deeply affected, sweetly melted, and at the same time filled with gratitude, peace, and joy.  I saw the wonderous love of God, in sending his dear Son, and the vast infinite grace, mercy, and condescension of the dear Saviour, in the errand on which he came.  I was overwhelmed with holy surprise, while the words in their power and sweetness continued with me, and made it personal, in the term that which was lost.  I knew God had shewn me, in some measure, that I was a poor lost sinner, guilty and hell-deserving; that I had no might or power to subdue one sin, although I had made a thousand vows p. 181and resolutions; but every thing I could say, every argument I could use against myself, was of no use.  The heavenly sensation was so powerful, that it bore down all before it, and continued with me all that day, and the day following, although not with equal power.  I was now brought to a point about my state; I knew, without a doubt, the Saviour loved, came, lived, and died for me.  I could truly say I loved him, and could rejoice in his salvation; his kind heart was open to me, and I held a sweet and rapturous communion with him.  On the Monday following I felt this in a measure abated, and went to Providence Chanel; but, as soon as the text was named, I felt determined to leave the place: it was—“Cast out the bond woman and her son.”  I had heard the text taken by the good man once before, and I thought we were going to have another controversial sermon on the moral law—bring tired of that subject, I was fearful I should lose my comfortable frame; but I was happily disappointed, for the minister opened the subject in such a clear and glorious manner, by describing the liberty of the children of God, that I was fully confirmed in the work of God on my soul; the remembrance of this is still sweet and precious.  My joy was full, and at the close of the sermon I fled from every one, lest I should see any one I knew; I wanted to speak to no living creature, but to enjoy fellowship with the Saviour.  I have often thought how much I should like to have gone home to glory at that time; but, alas! many sorrows of body, soul, p. 182and circumstances, were my destined lot; which has often made me ask, in fits of rebellion—

“Are these the blessings we expect,
Is this the lot of thine elect?”

This heavenly frame subsided, but it left a sweet confidence behind, which I have never fully lost, as my faith and confidence was often fed by the Word of God; and, indeed, faith can feast upon nothing else.

I now began to read and hear, as it were, with new eyes and ears.  The doctrines of the gospel were now precious to my soul.  I admired them before, but I ate them now: as Jeremiah words it—“Thy words were found, and I did eat them, and they were the rejoicing of my heart.”  And I must speak it to the honour of God, that, although he has favored me with many blessed tokens of his love, many precious promises, enlargements, and views, but none so powerful as the first; yet there was enough power in them to bring me to the Saviour, and to prove the reality of the work of God on my soul.  My grand business was now to gain all the spiritual knowledge I could; and the Lord soon after this led me into my public work, which I thought would be attended with a great increase of holiness of nature and life, of devotedness to God, and of an opportunity of studying his word; but I found, instead of an increase of holiness of nature an increase of sin.  Not that I was more sinful, but had greater discoveries of it; and, instead of getting p. 183stronger in the service of God, I felt my strength perfect weakness.  Popularity, noise, company, and bustle, stripped me of all my savouriness, and I was long left to struggle with my old sin again.  Yet the Lord gave testimony to the word of his grace, and gave me liberty of speech, to the wonder of many, who knew my origin, and the scantiness of my education.  The Lord never left me a moment, in my public work, to confusion, but was with me in some way or other, every time I stood up; and when I have gone to my work in the pulpit, frequently in bondage, darkness, and sorrow, my nervous system weak, and satan permitted to harrass me sorely, to the giving out my text; even then I have had the most blessed seasons, and at the close of my sermons could only fall on my knees, adoring and praising a long-suffering and a faithful God.  On this subject I need not enlarge, as those who are in the work of the ministry well know what it is to pass through many painful seasons, and how graciously the Lord appears for them.  Sometimes the work of God has been so very low in my mind, that I could scarcely trace a vestige of it; this has sunk my heart, till the Lord has appeared again, and renewed the work, led my mind out again to the Saviour, melted me with his love, and favored me with his more sensible presence.  Hence the prophet prayed—“Oh, Lord, revive thy work in the midst of the years.”  Pious Ezra calls it “a little reviving in our bondage;” and David prays, “Wilt thou not revive us again?”  This is what the apostle calls the renewing of the p. 184Holy Ghost.  The work is perfect in all its parts, when first began, but it must be brought forth into act and exercise; it must be seen and known, God the Holy Spirit must maintain it, and keep it up; and this is done by his secret influence.  “I will water them every moment, and keep them night and day.”  How this is done I know not; but it is our mercy it is so, and will be perfected, while a dear Redeemer pleads in heaven.—“I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER VI.

“The righteous shall hold on his way, and he that hath clean hands shall wax stronger and stronger.”

To —

It is our mercy, the Holy Spirit, in the hearts of God’s children, is given to them to abide with them.  Never will he leave his own to the power of sin or to satan.  The Psalmist was blest with this confidence when he said—“The Lord will perfect that which concerned me; forsake not the work of thy hands; thy mercy, O Lord, endureth for ever.”  This is explained by the apostle being confident of this very thing, that he who hath begun the good work will perform it, until the day of Jesus Christ; and hence Solomon says—“I know that what God doeth is for ever, nothing shall be taken from it, or added to it; and he doeth it that men should fear before p. 185him.”  This work, in the first operation, is regeneration, and its continuance is sanctification; its effect is conversion, and its renewing, after dead and dark seasons, is a revival.  Many such I have experienced; which, to relate, would swell this memoir to a vast volume.  There is one particular circumstance, among many, which I must here relate, although you are already in possession of the account in my little work, “The Voice of Faith in the Valley of Achor:”—

“After I had been in this furnace some weeks, in which I felt as others do in similar cases, much grief, anger, rebellion, and discontent, but not quite without a spirit of prayer that I might be favored with the very gracious visits of the Saviour, and a sense of God’s approbation in my own soul, though despised by others, I entreated the Lord to shew me the exceeding sinfulness of sin, as well as I could bear it; for I am convinced no man could ever behold sin in all its malignity—none but the God-Man could bear that—yet I desired to see sin as most abominable in God’s sight.  These petitions were in time answered; the Lord led me to reflect deeply, in my retired moments, on the nature of sin, original and actual.—This knowledge of it increased, till one evening, being alone, I was most completely overpowered with a solemn stillness of spirit, a view of sin, my own sins of heart, lip, and life; these crowded into my mind.  I felt guilty.  I stood condemned.  I had a fearful apprehension of God’s just displeasure; all was dark within, except p. 186sin and the anger of God—these were clear enough; horror overwhelmed me, and I sunk low at the footstool of divine mercy; I feared, I trembled, I was brought low, I was troubled.  I saw nothing of a Saviour, though I had so often preached about him.  Head notions were nothing now—past experience was hid, and every gracious promise of the Bible was closed up for a time.  What a state to be in!  But I believe this was drinking of the bitter cup our Saviour drank so deeply; this was, in one sense, being crucified with Christ, and having fellowship with him in his sufferings.  These feelings will give a man a real understanding of all those texts which refer to soul trouble, in the book of Job, the Psalms of David, feelings of Jeremiah, and, perhaps, what Paul felt during the three days he was without sight, and did neither eat nor drink.  These feelings will make me sympathise with the soul that is afflicted, and experiences the terrors of the Almighty.

But I do esteem it among my many special favors, this did not continue but part of a night.  I sunk down in shame and distress, condemning myself, and acknowledging the justice of God in my condemnation.  But while in this state, thus broken, contrite, and filled with holy awe, I was kept pleading for mercy—present mercy as well as future.  While on my knees prostrate, as Elijah on another occasion, or, as Jeremiah words it—putting my mouth in the dust;—and although I really was filled with fear lest I should be cut off, yet at this very time the Lord gently led my mind, or rather p. 187brought the following words very softly to my heart: they were at first seemingly at a distance, but drew nearer as I listened and observed them.  The words were, ‘I have caused thine iniquities to pass from thee, and have clothed thee with change of raiment.’  I observed my mind could not gladly receive this sentence, fearing presumption—but they still followed me, and abode with me, till the horror, terror, fears, and darkness gradually dispersed, and my mind was enabled so far to receive them as to cause a present ease, which continued with me a few days longer.  I found the peace they brought with them continue, and I was in a small degree helped to believe they were from God to me, and as much mine as they were Joshua’s, to whom they were spoken; but though my thoughts were in a measure fixed upon them, yet I was not without being assaulted with some misgivings of heart.  I concluded it best to entreat the Lord to shew me this more powerfully, and not only to put the words in my mind, but to write them so effectually that I might know, without the shadow of a doubt, I was actually interested in the capital blessings the words contained.  This was most divinely manifested in a few days afterwards, as I was in the act of reading some remarks of the truly excellent Mr. Toplady, on Justification by the imputed Righteousness of the adorable God-Man.  I was actually overcome with a sweet surprise of the love of God to me in Christ Jesus, making his dear Son a sin offering, and his people righteousness in him.  I was enabled to feel p. 188such solid peace, holy joy, and sacred pleasure in my soul as can never be described by tongue or pen.  I was melted by the power of his love, and indulged with such access to God, that every doubt, fear, and misgiving of heart, was removed.  I saw, I knew, I felt that I was reconciled to God, and that God was my Father, my Saviour, my Comforter.—Oh, that I had then sunk into the arms of death!  O that I had been permitted to take my flight!  At that time the Saviour had engaged my heart, nor could I then have sinned against him for the world.  I want many such sweet manifestations of his sensible presence; and I can assure you, painful as my situation is, I would gladly endure it again for such enjoyments.  But I must observe, these blessed seasons are unknown to carnal professors, and never enjoyed, even by the favorites of heaven, while in a light, careless, carnal frame of soul; no—the promise runs thus, ‘To this man will I look, (and surely it was a look of love which I experienced) and with him will I dwell, who is poor and of a contrite heart, and that trembles at my word.’”

After this most blessed manifestation, the Lord gradually opened my mind, gave me a discerning eye to discover and receive the Bible testimony of the Lord Jesus, accompanied with a fixation of soul and a stayedness upon him.  I now no longer depend upon past experience, but am pressing forward to know the person and glory of Christ, as the expression of the Father’s love; the covenant transactions of the adorable Trinity; the union subsisting p. 189between Christ and my soul, founded on his union with my nature, and his union with the Father; the great act of his incarnation; the holiness of his nature, and his wonderful life, as the obedience and righteousness of his church; the putting away sin by the sacrifice of himself, and the virtue, glory, and dignity of that precious work; his triumphant resurrection, for his dear people, and glorious ascension; his life of intercession in heaven, and his carrying on the work of salvation as an advocate with the Father; this is the grand object I am aiming to grow into the knowledge of, that I may live a life of faith upon him, enjoy communion with him, and live to his glory; that I may make manifest the savour of his name in every place, not only in the pulpit, but in every other place and company where I can.  Knowing the evil of sin, the weakness of the creature, and the value of Christ, I want daily to die to self, and live to him; to go out of self, as sinful, moral, or gracious, and by looking to Jesus in the Word, I may enjoy peace in believing; thus to live to his honour, and to be useful to his people, to die in his smiles, and to be with him for ever; to behold his glory, being found in him, having no other robe but that which he has wrought out, nor any other increased glory, but the work of his own spirit.  This is all my salvation, and all my desire for my own soul, and for the whole of God’s family the Lord calls me to labour among.

Yours, J. C.

p. 190LETTER VII.

“In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

To —

The excellent Dr. Hawker remarks, in his “Gleaner,” “It would be well if every child of God would form one memorandum, at least, in his mind, which no passing event could obliterate; namely, that the Lord’s eye is over the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayers.”  The Lord revealed himself to the patriarch, Jacob, as the God of his Fathers, in an everlasting covenant, and with this precious addition—“And behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again to this land; for I will not leave thee until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.”—Gen. xxviii. to the end.

The reader of Jacob’s history, in the Bible, will know, that many a dark providence beset Jacob after this, and numberless sharp exercises, but the promise never failed.  It has been, and still is, the Lord’s delight to manifest his care for his this people in a way of providence, before and after their conversion; a being enabled to trace some of those gracious manifestations, and to be assured that the chequered inditings of providence are written with the finger of love, will most blessedly bow our necks to the yoke, and produce our resignation to his sovereign will.—The whole Bible is an exhibition of what the Lord is to his people, and what he has done for them in p. 191grace and providence; and what is providence, but the hand of Divine Faithfulness, making good his precious promises?  The word providence is never but once used in the Bible, that I remember, and that is in the flattering speech of Tertullus, Acts, xxiv, 2.  And what is providence, but the Creator of all things, making provision for all his creatures?  As the God of providence, he is the Saviour of all men—the preserver—but especially of them which believe; this was an article in Abraham’s faith—he called the name of that place Jehovah, Jireh, God will provide.  It is our mercy to be enabled to watch his hand in our personal concerns—and those who regard not the work of the Lord, he will destroy them.

The proud hearts of the carnal wicked world, in general, ascribe their mercies to fortune, luck, and chance—the trinity of fools; and such pour sovereign contempt on that Providence which ordereth all things in heaven and on earth; but whoso is wise will observe these things, and he shall understand the kindness of the Lord.  Hence the saying of the wise—“Whoso eyeth the providence of the Lord shall never want a providence to watch.”  This has been true in the experience, more or less, of all the Lord’s tried people, who have waded through much tribulation, and arrived safe at home: and this is the present experience of the Lord’s people upon earth; it is a part of their life of faith, and often produces prayer and praise, watchfulness, and gratitude—so I have found it, almost through the p. 192whole course of my life.  Amongst thousands of circumstances I have read of the Lord’s gracious dealings with his people, in providence, I remember one, in particular, in the case of Mr. Fox, who wrote the Book of Martyrs, in the close of the reign of Henry the Eighth;—that he went to London, where the want of employment soon reduced his pocket to emptiness, and every source of maintenance failed: in this situation, as he sat one day in St. Paul’s church, spent with long fasting, his countenance thin, his eyes hollow, and with the ghostly appearance of a dying man, every one seemed to shun him with horror; there came one to him whom he had never seen before, and thrust into his hand an untold sum of money, bidding him to be of good cheer, and accept that small gift in good part; adding, that in a few days new hopes were at hand, and a more certain condition of livelihood; and sure enough it came to pass—for, within three days after, the Duchess of Richmond sent for him, to live in her house, and to become the tutor of the Earl of Surrey’s children, then under her care.  Thus, as the German proverb says,—“When the bricks are doubled, then comes Moses;”—that is, man’s greatest extremity is God’s opportunity.

The best treatise I ever read on Divine Providence is the excellent Flavell’s “Mystery of the Divine Conduct:” and the most remarkable accounts of the appearance of Providence, next to the Bible, is in Professor Frank’s account of the building of the orphan-house at Glauca, which astonished the King p. 193of Prussia, so that he desired the whole account of it.  I wish every Christian was in possession of it.—The account of the life of Mr. Barry, as re-published by Mr. Huntington, is very interesting; so also is that gentleman’s “Bank of Faith:” it has encouraged many of the Lord’s people to trust in the Saviour; and they have proved him to be “The faithful God.”  Infidels who are white-washed with a profession of religion, have made that book the subject of their sport, banter, and ridicule; but it is a simple correct statement of facts; and my readers, if taught of God, can probably give their testimony, likewise, to similar facts—“For the hand of the Lord shall be known towards his servant.”  Foote, in his play of “The Minor,” ridiculed this subject of Providence in a most scurrilous manner, wherein that revered character, the rev. George Whitfield, under the assumed name of Dr. Squintum, is made to pervert and abuse Divine Providence, in the following doggerel lines:—

“Near the mad mansion of Moorfields I bawl,
Friends, fathers, mothers, sisters, one and all,
Shut up your shops, and listen to my call;
With labour, toil, all second means dispense;
And live a rent charge upon Providence:
Prick up your ears, a story I will tell,
Which once a widow and her child befel;
I knew the daughter and her mother well.
Poor, it is true, they were, but never wanted,
For, whatsoe’er they asked, it was granted;
One fatal day, the matron’s faith was tried,
She wanted meat and drink, and fairly cried.
p. 194‘Mother! you cry;’ ‘Oh! child, I’ve got no bread;’
‘What matters that?—Why, Providence arn’t dead!’
With reason good this truth the child might say,
For there came in at noon, that very day,
Bread, greens, potatoes, and a leg of mutton,
A better, sure, a table ne’er was put on.”

Gospel Mag. Feb. 1824.

This is a base attack upon Divine Providence, as though persons who believe in it, and have so much experience of it, gave themselves up to indolence, neglecting the use of means to support themselves and families.  It is to be lamented that there are some in all churches and chapels, who are mumping about in idleness, and talking about religion, to deceive the simple and unwary, and from such I have suffered a little in pocket and character.  But the apostle, by virtue of his high commission, has said—“For this we commanded you, that if any will not work, neither shall he eat.”  A neglect of the means is most daring presumption; and none but a hypocrite could act so: but the sincere Christian, who, in the use of means, is watching the hand of God, will be often honoured with the gracious appearances of God in his divine providences; for that God who fed the Israelites forty years in the wilderness, conducted Abraham from Ur of the Chaldees, increased the widow’s oil and meal, sent out his apostles with a staff only, will supply the needs, not the wants of his people.  Surely I can set to my seal.  This is true.

The good hand of God appeared in answering my p. 195poor breathings, at an early period.  I was about 18 years of age when I particularly began to watch the hand of God in a providential way.  I was involved in a difficulty, although not of my own seeking; yet I had to bear the trouble.  I was exceedingly distressed for a few shillings, and it came into my mind to call on the Lord to send it me, by some means, as I had not a friend in the world, to whom I could apply for it.  I traversed the garden of the house where I lived, and made my case known to the Lord, urging his care of me, and the early tokens he had given me of his love.  The next morning I had occasion to go out on an errand, and, in a very conspicuous place, I saw a one-pound note lay on the ground; and, although it was very windy weather, being in the month of March, yet the note lay still.  I could see no one near, to whom it belonged, nor did I ever hear of any one who had lost it.  This delivered me entirely from that trouble: I bought a Bible and another good book with the change—this taught me the blessedness of carrying my temporal affairs to the Lord, who has the concerns of all his dear people in his hands, and is the appointed heir of all things to his church.

Soon after this I had a very severe trial to undergo.  My arbitrary master had endeavoured to prejudice the Governors of the Foundling Hospital against me, entirely on account of religion; I had to make my appearance before them, to answer for my conduct.  I laid this case before the Lord, and begged p. 196his Divine Majesty to fulfil his gracious promise, in my experience, as he did for his dear servants, the apostles.—“I will give you a mouth and wisdom.”  This promise I turned into constant prayer, and the Lord answered me, to the joy of my heart.  My adversary was conquered, and I was commended.

When I left my apprenticeship, being separated from my master by a magistrate, after serving him duty and truly for nine years; yet, having two years more of my time to serve, I was left destitute of a home:—relations I never knew, and where to lay my head I know not.  I had but three bad half-peace in the world.  I well remember leaning against a post, in Moor-street, Seven Dials, and, while my heart was ready to break, I begged of the Lord to direct me which way to go; but, while looking up for direction, it was brought to my mind where to go, and what to do, and there the Lord opened a door in providence.  When I had left my situation in the Borough, a person had previously promised me work; but when I went to him, he pretended to have forgot such a promise, and I was again left destitute.  I knew not what to do, but the Lord led out my mind in prayer, that he would appear for me; and, in less than ten minutes, I again found an answer to prayer, by a door being opened for me.  I found the Lord appear again in a few months after this, in a most remarkable manner: and thus the Lord continually followed me, wherever I went, and manifested his providential care towards me.  I was, at one time, brought very low, and all things seemed p. 197to fail, to that I was reduced to a sad extremity; when, passing by St. Clement’s church, by the light of a window, I saw some halfpence lay on the ground, which I greedily picked up, and went on blessing God who had appeared for me, at that time.  And, as I found the good hand of God in my low situation, I was destined to see more of his good hand in a more eminent manner; and it would, indeed, fill a volume to rehearse the many conspicuous providences that I experienced in my family.  When we have been reduced to the greatest necessity, the Lord has sent relief in the very moment of extremity.  Having married, as related before, I was completely destitute of furniture; I acknowledge this was imprudent, but my concern was getting my bird before I had a cage to put it in: yet the Lord, in due time, sent us first one article, and then another, in a most surprising manner.  A gentleman also sent me a good suit of clothes, with a charge frequently to read the 12th chapter of Luke.

When I first began to preach, it was in coloured cloaths; but a friend soon after sent me a suit of black.  When my wife was taken in labour, with one of her children, we had but two-pence in the world, which distressed her feelings; but, looking to the Lord, without naming our circumstances to any, abundance of mercies flowed in a whole month—and, as my family increased, so the Lord increased my income.  When leaving the country, I was sixty pounds in debt; but, in a few weeks, the Lord raised me up friends to pay that: and, how often, p. 198when we have been destitute of money, of food, and of clothes, has his good hand appeared!  Frequently when others have been distressed, I have relieved them, to my own injury, for the time; but the Lord has always amply repaid me.  Amongst many instances I will only relate this:—a poor, but good man, was in prison for debt: he sent to me for thirty or forty shillings; I had just thirty, and sent it to him.  On the preaching-night satan harassed my mind sorely in the pulpit, on account of my folly; but, as soon as I had concluded my sermon, a lady came into the vestry, and put two pounds in my hand—thus I was paid well.  And so I have found it true, that he that hath pity on the poor lendeth to the Lord; and that which he layeth out he will pay him again.

All my days I have been a pensioner on the Divine Providence for every shilling—for food and raiment.  Many a one has relieved my wants, when they had not the least idea I was at that moment in extremity.  I can only look back with wonder and gratitude at forty years’ experience of superabounding grace; at thousands of displays of a kind providence; and the amazing manifestations of divine care and faithfulness; and, at times, overwhelmed with a sense of covenant goodness, can only say, with David, “Who am I, O Lord God, that thou hast brought me hitherto; and is this the manner of men, O Lord God?”—Oh, for a grateful heart.

Yours, J. C.

I must observe, here, that it is the business of p. 199faith not only to be looking to Jesus for salvation, but to be eyeing God, in Christ, as a covenant God, in temporal mercies; and to be perpetually pleading what God is, and what he has promised in the covenant: it is a mercy to see him, as the Father, the begetter of mercies, and to be looking to his care for us.  “He careth for you.”  His wisdom in managing; his condescension; his free grace; his divine sovereignty; the gracious ends he has in view; the channel of atoning blood, through which all our temporal mercies flow; and the amazing goodness of God in all, both in what is denied us, and what is given us!

“Good when he gives, supremely good,
   Nor less, when he denies;
E’en crosses, from his sovereign hand,
   Are blessings in disguise.”

And “All things whatsoever ye shall ask, in my name, I will do it.”  This may be ridiculed by fools; but many such have been forced, in extremity, to call upon God to appear in that very providence they have ridiculed; some in storms at sea, and some in trouble on land; the confession of a God of providence has been extorted from the lips of those who have denied him.  A great writer remarks, concerning the Persian army, when discomfited by the Grecians—“being hotly pursued, we must needs venture over the great water, Strymon, then frozen, but beginning to thaw—when, a hundred to one but we had all died for it.  With mine eyes I then p. 200saw so many of these gallants, whom I had heard so boldly maintain there was no God, every one upon their knees, with eyes and hands lifted up, begging hard for help and mercy, and entreating that the ice might hold till they get over;” and sure I am, that the character that lives and dies without pleading for mercy, in this world, will beg in vain for a drop of water in hell.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER IX. [200]

“There hath no temptation happened unto you, but what is common to man.”

To —

The grand adversary of God and man is compared both to a lion and a serpent: under the former character he has raged and roared against the church, in every age, and after every called and quickened believer; but, in the latter character, he has acted his worst part.  In this form he assaulted Eve, and in the same he has carried on his works of darkness in this world; and, as he began by deceiving, so he will complete his work by the same.—Rev. xx.

Soon after the Lord had begun his work in my heart, persecution began, hell raged, satan roared; but, through mercy, the ass did not regard the crying of that driver, but was kept in search after life and truth.—Job, xxxix. 5, 6, 7, 8.  This having no effect to deter, satan resorted to another method.  This was about the time that the wretched Tom p. 201Paine published his book against the Bible; I never bought it, though thousands did; but, one day, at a friend’s house, I saw it lay, and when I was left alone I read a part of it—this produced no bad effect on my mind at that time; but, shortly afterwards, the infamous passage I had read was hurled into my mind with strange powers.  It came like a dart, a fiery dart, nor could I get rid of it for some time; it came very often, and sorely distressed me.  I begged of the Lord to remove it, which he did; this cured me for ever of meddling with edged tools.  The Lord gave me secret power to rise superior to it; established me more than ever in the truth, and created in my mind an everlasting hatred to erroneous books.  I was often entreated to read such books; but no—“A burnt child dreads the fire:” and I am always sorry to see professors so eager to read deistical publications, with a view to see the objections made to Holy Writ.  “Let him that thinketh he standeth, take heed, lest he fall.”  This temptation was, of course, soon followed up with another, such as this—“How do you know the Bible is true?”  This came from the devil, and is in the mouth of his own children to this day; and to such I seldom give an answer, except in few words.  This reminds me of an infidel in a stage coach, who was letting his tongue run against God and truth, bidding defiance to any man to prove the Bible to be the Word of God: an aged plain country woman replied, “Why, I thinks as how it is the Word of God, because it says, that ‘in the last days p. 202there shall come mockers,’ and I am sure thou beest one of them.”

Many great and learned men took up their pens in defence of truth, and very ably answered the wretched scribbling Deist.  I never read them, but begged of the Lord to shew me the subject himself; which he did, by leading me more clearly to understand the truth, and to see the harmony of every part of it, its doctrines and its precepts, by giving me power to feel and enjoy its consolations, and by leading me to see the reason why such characters oppose it: because it is written, “The wicked shall be turned into hell;” and “He that believeth not is condemned already, and the wrath of God abideth on him.”  And, as these are awful truths, can we wonder at the opposition the Word of God meets with, from men of corrupt minds?  They tell us, indeed, it is a cunningly-devised fable, a system of mere priestcraft.  If a fable, who wrote it—good men, or angels?  Bad men, or devils?  Good men or angels could not be guilty of falsehood, in saying repeatedly, “Thus saith the Lord.”  Bad men or devils would never write a book to describe their own character, reproach their own conduct, and condemn themselves to everlasting punishment.

The Lord delivered my soul from this snare, by the power of truth, and has made me a living witness, by his grace, of the authenticity of his own Word; so that I may sing—

p. 203“Precious Bible, what a treasure
   Does the Word of God afford!
All I want, for life and pleasure,
   Shield, or medicine, or sword.”

The best piece I have seen written on this subject, of a modern date, is by the rev. I. Irons, entitled, “The Cloud of Witnesses,” intended as an antidote to infidelity.  I beg leave to recommend it to all I know, especially to believers, who are situated amongst the ungodly.

The next attack the enemy made on my mind, was respecting the Sacred Trinity.  This temptation, more or less, assaulted me for years; sometimes in such an awful manner, that I never can describe; but I have generally noticed, that diabolical temptations hurled into the mind, have been generally levelled against one or other of the Sacred Persons in the Trinity.  These temptations do not arise from the common corruptions of the human heart, although satan does, at times, stir them up; but they are, in general, sent or shot by the devil into the mind.—Such temptations are not the believer’s sin, but satan’s; although he often lays these brats at our doors.

There is a difference to be observed between our sinful nature and such temptations; the former is always with us, but the others are only visitors, and unwelcome ones, indeed—yet they have an awful tendency to distress the soul; and, perhaps, in such an intricate manner, as is impossible to relate.  Hence the old question, invented by the devil, and p. 204started by men of infidel principles—“How can three be one, or one three?”  Why, as it respects things in common, it is impossible—but, as it respects the adorable Trinity, I am taught to believe that there are three divine persons in one divine essence.  How this can be, neither angers nor men can define; but that it is so, the Scriptures are clear.  I am bound to believe it, because God hath said it, and it is at man’s peril to refuse him that speaketh from heaven.  The way this temptation sometimes operated, was this:—satan made up, or drew three figures of persons on my imagination, and then asked me how these three could be one?  Impossible.  And so say I.  Such figures, images, dolls, idols, drawn by that artful limner, cannot be one, nor one three.  This temptation was aided and assisted by the popish pictures of the Trinity, an engraving of which is put as a frontispiece to Dr. Samuel Clarke’s Bible, and which I consider to be the most abominable blasphemy; one of the characters is represented as a very aged man, with a long beard; another, rather younger, receiving a sceptre; and a third, the figure of a dove: and these are called the persons in the Trinity.  This is truly awful; satan himself is the author of it, and man the dupe of his satanic deceptions.

I believe but very few of God’s children escape temptation upon this subject; and I make no apology in saying, that pictures drawn by man, or painted upon our imaginations of either of the persons in the sacred Trinity, is blasphemy.  The Lord delivered p. 205me again and again from this temptation, by leading my mind to what God has said of himself, who certainly is the best judge of himself.  Hence the question—“To whom, then, will ye liken God, or shall I be equal, saith the Lord?  To whom, then, will ye liken God, or what likeness will ye compare unto him?”

The Bible sets forth God under the emblems of fire, water, wind, or air.  And what picture can ever be drawn of these, as persons?  “God is a Spirit.”—“God is light.”—“God is love.”—And what are all his glorious perfections, but himself manifested in such characters?  Holiness, Truth, Wisdom, Justice, Grace, Mercy, Goodness, Majesty, Eternity, Almighty, Omnipotent, Omnipresent, Omniscient.  And what figures can be drawn of this Sacred, Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty?  I trust this remark will be blest to some characters who have suffered under the same temptation.  But, although it has pleased the God of Grace to reveal himself in the Oneness of the Divine Unity; so it is our mercy, yea, our salvation, that he has been pleased also to reveal himself, in his Trinity of persons, under the gracious names, and relative terms in the grand economy of our salvation.

“There are three which bear record in heaven”—the Father; the Word, (as Son of God;) and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one—not merely one person, bearing three names, but three persons—nor yet three gods, but only one in essence—three in persons, distinct in personality, names, and office—p. 206This Sacred Three bear record to the Sonship, Godhead, Divinity, and Dignity of Christ.  So they also bear record to the consciences of God’s dear people—that they are the Lord’s.  The record of the Father is, “Yea, I have loved thee;”—the record of the Son is, “I have redeemed thee;”—and the record of the Spirit is, “I have called thee.”  It is necessary this grand point should be well understood by the Lord’s people, that they may enjoy distinct holy communion with, and give equal glory to, the adorable Author of Salvation.

It was my lot to fall in with, and to be often situated with characters who were inimical to this grand fundamental truth.  Swedenborg denied the existence of the Father and the Holy Spirit.  Socinians, Arians, and Sabellians, either in one form or another, deny the Godhead of Christ, and the personality of the Holy Spirit.  Thus, amongst this motley group, they leave us no God at all.  Many have been my conflicts with such; but the Word is so plain upon the subject, that it needs no comment, only by comparing a very few out of the many scriptures of truth, and drawing a very reasonable inference from the plainest testimony.  This has been done by an excellent author, the rev. W. Jones; and the great Mr. Macgowan, in his “Twenty Letters to J. Priestly, D.D.”

I will only compare a few texts together, and you will see the beauty of truth.  As:—

Isaiah, vi. 5.—“Mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.”

p. 207John, xii. 41.—“These things said Esias, when he saw his (Christ’s) glory, and spake of him.”

“Therefore Jesus is the Lord of Hosts.”—Isaiah, xliii. 11.

Isaiah, xliii. 11.—“I, even I, am the Lord, and besides me there is no Saviour.”

2 Peter, iii. 18.—“Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ.”

Then Jesus Christ is Jehovah, the Saviour.

Rev. xxii. 6.—“The Lord God of the Holy Prophets sent his angel to shew unto his servants things which must shortly be done.”

Rev. v. 16.—“I, Jesus, have sent mine angel to testify these things unto the churches.”

Therefore Jesus is the Lord God of the Prophets.

Isaiah, xliv. 6.—“Thus saith the Lord, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the Lord of Hosts, I am the first, and I am the last, and besides me there is no God.”

Rev. xxii. 13.—“I (Jesus) am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.”

This is too plain to be denied.  Christ is the King of Israel, the Redeemer, the Lord of Hosts, the first and the last.

Psalm lxxviii. 56.—“They tempted and provoked the Most High God.”

p. 2081 Cor. x. 9.—“Neither let us tempt Christ, as some of them also tempted.”

Christ must be, therefore, the Most High God.

Isaiah, xxxvii. 5.—“For thy Maker is thy husband, the Lord of Hosts is his name.”

John, iii. 29.—“He that hath the bride is the bridegroom.”

Psalm xxiii.—“The Lord Jehovah, is my shepherd.”

John, x. 16.—“There shall be one fold and one shepherd.”

Christ must be the Lord of Hosts.

Psalm c. 3.—“Know ye that the Lord he is God, we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.”

John, x. 3.—“He calleth his own sheep.”

Therefore, Christ he is the Lord God and shepherd.

John, xx. 28.—“And Thomas answered and said, my Lord and my God.”

Romans, ix. 5.—“Of whom, as concerning the flesh, Christ came; who is over all, God, blessed for ever.”

Christ is, therefore, Lord and God.

Isaiah, ix. 6.—“And his name shall be called, The Mighty God.”

Rev. i. 8.—“I am the Almighty.”

I might here fill a volume of immense size, to p. 209prove the same fact; but when God gives a man up to satanic delusion, he generally mounts the scorner’s chair; sets his tongue against the heavens, and endeavours to bring down the Almighty to his proud carnal reasonings.

“Thus fools rush in, where angels fear to tread.”

But, whilst so many are endeavouring to dethrone the glorious persons in the Trinity, or to degrade them, other fools have set up many; one in particular, whom I once wrote against, in “Zion’s Controversy:” this poor creature insists upon it that every separate perfection in Jehovah is a god.  There was also a sect of people in the beginning of the sixteenth century, called Familists, who held the notion that every believer was an Emanuel—was really God; that Christians, were Christed into Christ, and Godded into God.  Such stupid ideas have neither scripture reason nor common sense in them; but I suppose by the bye, this doctrine was advanced to degrade the essential and eternal Godhead of Christ, as modern Sabellians do, though very high Calvinists in some other points—yet maintain the idea that the Father communicates his Godhead to Christ; and why not to his people?  Why not, indeed?  Both are Christ-degrading errors.  May the Lord deliver his people from them; while conceited, empty-talking, all-knowing professors fall into those ditches, out of which nothing short of superabounding mercy, in a miraculous way, can deliver them.  “Fear, and the pit, and the snare are upon thee, O inhabitant of the earth; and it shalt come to pass, that he who flieth from the noise of p. 210the fear shall fall into the pit; and whoso cometh up out of the pit shall fall into the snare; for the windows from on high are opened, and the foundations of the earth do shake.”—Isaiah xxiii.

Being delivered from this awful snare, satan harrassed my mind, concerning the personality and Godhead of the ever-blessed Holy Spirit.  Here I was much troubled, but the Lord has promised to be the profitable teacher of his people.—“I am the Lord thy God, which teacheth thee to profit, and leadeth thee in the way thou shouldest go.”  I bless his name for all his teachings, although it has been under some very painful experiences; above all, that he has led me to the acknowledgement (not comprehension) of the mystery of God—the Holy Ghost—and of the Father, and of Christ.—Colossians ii.

That the Holy Spirit is God, one of the Divine Three in the unity of the Godhead, is evident, by comparing Scripture with Scripture.  I am very sensible that his work upon the heart is infinitely of greater importance than a thousand bare notions of the subject, however clear; but it is a mercy to have our loins girt with truth, the armour of righteousness on the right hand, and on the left; and while the enemies of God are attempting to degrade his Sacred Majesty, his Adorable Person, and some weak Christians stagger at the subject, it is our duty (being delivered from such God-dishonouring conduct), to contend earnestly for the faith, once delivered to the saints.

I am not writing a body of divinity.  I have not p. 211abilities for that; but only stating those truths which are dear to my heart, and producing a few out of the many Scriptures, to prove the Godhead of the Saviour and the ever-blessed Holy Spirit.  A few must suffice here.

John, iii. 6.—“That which is born of the Spirit.”

1 John, v. 4.—“Whatsoever is born of God.”

Here the spiritual birth is attributed to the Spirit—to God.

Therefore the Holy Spirit is God.

Acts, xiii. 2.—“The Holy Ghost said,—separate me Barnabas and Saul, for the work whereunto I have called them.”

Heb. v. 4.—“No man taketh this honour to himself, but he that is called of God.”

Therefore the Spirit is God.

Matt. ix. 38.—“Pray ye, therefore, the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.”

Acts, xiii. 4.—“So they being sent forth by the Holy Ghost.”

This proves the Holy Ghost is the Lord of his harvest.

Luke, ii. 16.—“And it was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death before he had seen the Lord Christ.”

Verse 28.—“And he blessed God, and said, Lord, now lettest thou thy servant depart in peace, according to thy Word.”

p. 212This Word was the Word of the Holy Ghost, and is God and Lord, to be blessed and praised.

John, xiv. 17.—“He, the Spirit of Truth, dwelleth in you, and shall be in you.”

1 Cor. xiv. 25.—“God is in you, of a truth.”

2 Tim. iii. 14.—“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God.”

2 Peter, xxi.—“Holy men of old spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.”

John, iv. 41.—“It is written in the prophets, And they shall be all taught of God.”

1 Cor. ii. 13.—“Not in the word, which man’s wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth.”

Acts, v. 3.—“Why hath satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost?”

Verse 4.—“Thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.”

1 Cor. iii. 16.—“The temple of God is holy, which temple are ye.”

1 Cor. vi. 19.—“Know ye not that your bodies are the temples of the Holy Ghost?”

Deut. vi. 14.—“Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”

Acts, v. 9.—“How is it, that ye have agreed to tempt the spirit of the Lord?”

Matt. xix. 17.—“There is none good but one, that is God.”

Psalm clxxiii. 10.—“Thy Spirit is good; lead me.”

I might mention many more, with a vast many proofs of this sublime doctrine, but I trust you p. 213will be led to read them in the Scriptures, with a grace-taught eye, and rejoice in the truth, as you discover and feel it.  I must close this long letter with this verse—

“God is a name my soul adores,
   Th’ Almighty Three, th’ Eternal One:
Nature and grace, with all their powers,
   Confess the Infinite Unknown.”

I wish you were in possession of the excellent Jones on the “Catholic Doctrine of the Trinity.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER X.

“The remnant of Israel shall not do iniquity, nor speak lies.”

“Love the truth and peace.”

To—

What a mercy for us that all divine teaching is the gracious work of God the Holy Spirit; and when we view, in his own light, what He is, as He has condescended to set himself forth in his own word, we are amazed at his condescension.  He is called the Eternal Spirit; He is Omnipresent, Omniscient, Omnipotent; He is a person—and what is a person but a living, thinking, acting, intelligent agent?  And what we have professed at church, when, perhaps, we did not understand what we said, is a most noble and glorious testimony—“I believe in God, the Holy p. 214Ghost, the Lord and giver of life, who proceedeth from the Father and the Son; and who, with the Father and the Son together is worshipped and glorified, who spake by the prophets”—this gracious, divine, and glorious person has engaged to lead all his people into all necessary truth, and He will be faithful to his covenant promises; nor do I esteem it a small mercy to be established in the glorious doctrine of the Trinity, as it is set forth in God’s Word, after my mind had been so perplexed with errors and temptations.

But now another very keen temptation beset me, respecting the doctrine of eternal election, and its attendant reprobation.  This was painted to me, in the most horrible terms, as the most cruel and unjust act, such as could never be attributed to a merciful God.  Erroneous books, preachers, professors, carnal reason, and the devil, all combined to oppose it.  A very plain reason that the doctrine is of God—or else such would never oppose it; if the doctrine was of the world, the world would love its own—but, because it is of God, therefore they hate it.  Thousands of tongues and pens have been raised up against it, but these two mountains of brass still stand as firm as ever.  The manner in which the wicked would, though varnished with seeming piety, represent the doctrine, is thus:—that to hold the doctrine of election is saying, that the elect will be saved, do whatever they may—and the reprobate will be damned, let them do all the good they can.  This is the manner in which they carnally state the matter; and, as they are but carnal, and the carnal mind is p. 215enmity with God, what can we expect from such thorns and thistles, surely not the figs and grapes of truth?  Others admit that election may be true, but then we are elected upon condition of our good behaviour; and others profess to believe that election is certainly a truth, but then all others may be saved, if they will, as they have a good chance for it, being in a salveable state (and so they wrap it up).  Amidst this pro and con. my mind was not a little distressed, till the Lord led me into the truth, as it is in Jesus, and gave me to see he had blest me with the Bible evidences of my eternal election of God.  I saw from the Word that election was a sovereign, holy, wise, gracious act of Jehovah, before all worlds; that Christ’s election was first, as head, and the church was chosen in him, that the head and the body were alike chosen, loved, and viewed as one—and this choice was for the glory of God, for the glory of Christ, and for the holiness and eternal happiness of the church.  God chose his people that they might be holy, not because they were so, but that they might be so; and he predestinated the same people to enjoy his presence, love, and glory, to all eternity.  They are set apart for himself, predestinated to himself.  “This people have I formed for myself.”  And must not that man be a fool and a madman that does not desire to know that he was chosen to be holy, and predestinated to the enjoyment of God for ever?  Let such oppose this precious doctrine: but—

p. 216“O, may this Bible truth inspire
   My soul with sacred bliss;
And lane me safe in mansions where
   My chosen Saviour is.”

Lyndal’s Hymns.

Would not professors be better employed in attending to God’s Word, which so dearly states this matter, and praying for the enjoyment of the evidences of it in their own souls, than cavilling against it, seeing they never can overthrow this ancient mountain, this eternal hill?  The Lord not only opened my eyes to see it, humbled my heart to receive it, but gave my soul the Bible evidences of it.  For—

“Though God’s election is a truth,
   Small comfort there I see;
Till I’m assur’d, by God’s own mouth,
   That he has chosen me.”

And every chosen vessel has the witness, the evidences of his election in his own heart, when truly converted to God.  And these are clearly laid down in God’s Word.  There it is said that “Mary hath chosen that good part which should never be taken from her.”  But then that good part must first have chosen her.  Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you.  The blessed effect, the evidence of this choice made known, is a being made willing to be saved in God’s own way—in the day of God’s own power.  This choice, or willingness, is God’s work on the souls of his own people—p. 217for them, and these only, are thus made willing to be saved by grace alone.  The power of the Word in the heart is an evidence of our election.  “Knowing, brethren, beloved of God, your election for our gospel, came not to you in word only, but in power, in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance.”  These were persons who had received the Word with power, which evidenced their election of God, and which evidences ours also.  The effectual working of truth upon the mind, producing light, life, love, power, contrition, turning to God, humility, joy, liberty.  These, any of these blessed effects of the Word in the heart, is an evidence of our election.

Faith is said to be the “faith of God’s elect.”  Therefore, faith wrought in the heart is an evidence of election.  A seeing that in Christ which exactly suits our state and condition, attended with a renouncing all in ourselves, and a coming to him for all we need.  Trusting in him, hoping in him, delighting in him—these are precious evidences of our eternal election of God.  Prayer is an evidence also.  Shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night to him?  The soul-breathing, desiring, thirsting after the favor and friendship of God.  These desires going up to Him, as created by the Holy Spirit, in the day of prosperity or the night of adversity, are the precious evidences of electing love.  Holiness is another evidence.  We were chosen to be holy, and that we should walk in good works.  In whose good works am I to walk, but in the whole glorious work of salvation effected by the adorable p. 218Trinity, producing in us the love of God?  This is divine charity, that rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth.  And, to walk in Christ, to walk in good works, to walk in wisdom, peace, truth, and holiness, is to walk in love to God, to truth, to saints.  This love will produce all its happy consequences in the road to heaven.  Christ is the way, holiness is the walk, and walking in this most excellent way is an evidence of election.  For we are chosen to this holiness on earth and in heaven; and without his holiness, “no man shall see the Lord.”  Hence the exhortation, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness; do not boast ye have it, but follow after it, and your labour of love will not be in vain in the Lord.”

Having these evidences in my mind of my election, and viewing it as an immutable truth, my spirit rejoices not merely in what success I have had in the ministry, but that my name is written in heaven;—but while I have thus, at times, been rejoicing in it, a dark season has succeeded, and satan and his emissaries have troubled my mind about the doctrine of reprobation.

I beg leave to send you a few remarks on this subject, which, I trust, will relieve your mind, as they have mine.  The term reprobation, or reprobated, is no where to be found in the Bible.  The word reprobate occurs once in the Old Testament, and six times in the New, and not once in reference to pre-damnation.  But, though the term does not, yet the thing itself is clearly revealled.  The awful characters p. 219of God, as a sovereign and a judge, is set almost entirely out of the view of man, by preachers and writers; and when they occur to the mind, it stirs up all the hatred and infernal enmity of the human heart.  Here the most meek, innocent, and holy people (in their own estimation) boil with fury and rage; yet it is a truth, that God, as a sovereign, having no other counsellor but his most holy will, has chosen some, and left others.  If he found them holy, he left them so; if he found them sinful, he left them so; he did them no injury, it was an act of his own will, who has a right to do what he pleases, and it is impious to ask why; for so it seemed good in his sight.  But the damnation of sinners is in consequence of sin, and, as a righteous judge, he decreed to punish sin; nor does he, nor will he, nor can he damn or consign any one to hell, but the violators of his own laws.  Is not this just?  His decree to punish sin does not force men to sin, they sin naturally, and freely, and wilfully; and living and dying, enemies to God, they receive the reward of their crimes.  You may ask, cannot God save them?  He can; but that he does not, is evident—and that he will not, is equally as clear.  For he that made them will not have mercy upon them, and he that formed them will shew them no favor.  Here I must refer you to Sacred Scripture; to Huntington’s “Free Thoughts in Captivity;” Dr. Gill, on “Election and Reprobation;” Toplady’s “Letter to John Wesley;” Coles, on “God’s Sovereignty;” and a little pamphlet lately published, by Mr. Hargreaves, p. 220Baptist Minister of Little Wild-street, London, on “Reprobation.”  The subject itself is a profound depth.

But here let us bow to his sovereign will, and rejoice that he has given us any evidence that he has chosen us in Christ Jesus.

“For, O, my soul, if truth so bright
Should dazzle and confound my sight,
Yet still his written Word obey,
And wait the great decisive day.”

This is true humility.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XI.

“Blessed is the man that maketh the Lord his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.”

To —

It was about the year 1791, that Mr. John Wesley died.  I was about 11 years of age; much talk was about him at that time, which often arrested my attention—but, as I had never heard the gospel preached, of course I could know nothing of doctrines; but after I had been led into truth, in some degree, some men that worked for my master, where I was an apprentice, lent me some of his books, but finding them so remarkably dull and dry, there was neither pleasure nor profit to me in reading them.—Hearing much also from the same persons, of the controversy between Arminians and Calvinists, I p. 221was certainly anxious to understand the great difference between them.  Reading what each advanced, I knew both could not be right.  Warmly attached to the doctrines and doctrinal articles of the Church of England, I soon discovered that the system of Arminianism was in direct opposition to those doctrines.  This led on to enquiry and diligent search.  Acquaintances lent me books of the controversy that had been carried on by the Wesleys, Fletchers, and others, and the answers that had been given by the magnanimous Toplady, Dr. Gill, Mason, and the (at that time) faithful and bold Hills.  Mr. Fletcher’s works have been since re-published, but our dastardly cowardly Calvinists do not re-publish what was then so ably written in defence of truth; shame to them, to let truth lie bleeding in the streets, and very few dare to plead her cause.  The old Gospel Magazine, like the present one, was the excellent means of spreading and maintaining truth, and which I believe is the only one of all our periodical publications, that dare advance the whole truth.—These books came into my hands, with some of Sir Richard Hill’s works, which I now bless God for, as they have been of especial service to me, in establishing my mind in the truth, as it is in Jesus.

Since I have been in the ministry, the question has been frequently asked me—“What is your opinion of Mr. John Wesley?”  I do not like such questions.—He has been many years in the presence of his Judge, and whether saved or lost, is not for man to decide: but, by an attention to works, some of p. 222them which I shall quote in this letter to you, and the opinions which good men had of them.  I leave you to draw an inference.  You and I well know, from the Word of God, and the teaching of the Eternal Spirit, that the Sacred Scriptures are the Word of God; and that, adding to, or diminishing from, or perverting it, is threatened with damnation.—Rev. xxi.  I do not say that the rev. John Wesley has done either, wilfully, but I beg you to read for yourself, some of his notes on the New Testament, and if you never did before, I think you will blush at some parts of his explanations, as they are called.  I would quote some of them, but it would fill this letter, in which I want to point out some of the many errors which he held, and which is still maintained by his followers, quite forgetting that “he who loveth and maketh a lie, dying so, shall have his part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone”.—Rev. xxi.

One of the principal doctrines of the glorious gospel of the blessed God, on which the salvation of the church rests, and which can only entitle us to, and prepare us for death, judgment, and eternity, is the meritorious obedience of Christ to the holy law of God.  This, by an act of grace, is imputed and placed to the account of the elect church of God, by the adorable Father, and received into the enlightened minds, affections, and consciences of those who are taught by the Holy Spirit.  This, and this only, justifies us before God.  On this holy thirty-three years’ obedience of Christ, to the law is the sole p. 223matter of our justification in the sight of a holy God.  And can you believe it?  But I beg you will read Mr. Hervey’s “Eleven Letters to J. Wesley,” wherein you will find that the latter has ridiculed this glorious foundation of the church as imputed nonsense.  Is not this an awful proof that himself, and all such, must be totally destitute of this righteousness.

I will, however, give you a quotation from a pamphlet written many years ago, by the rev. R. H. entitled “Calumny Refuted, and the Dead Vindicated,” p. 9.  The rev. writer remarks:—

“Once upon a time we find him, J. Wesley, sitting in the Norwich stage-coach, wrapped in a most profound meditation; the first thing that occurred to his consideration was, whether a person might not be a sincere Christian, and deny the phrase—imputed righteousness?—This he did not doubt.  He then advances farther (as the wheels roll on) and asks—if a man may not be a Christian, and deny the thing?  He directly determines that a person certainly may.  Thus, at two strides, he completely gets rid of the righteousness of Christ.”

The following horrid propositions, which are here transcribed, verbatim, from Mr. Wesley’s “Minutes of the Year 1770,” fully and incontestibly demonstrate the more than popish pelagianism of the man.  He says—

“Every believer, till he comes to glory, works for, as well as from life.  We have received it as a maxim, that a man is to do nothing in order to justification.  Nothing can be more false.  As to merit p. 224itself, of which we have been so dreadfully afraid, we are rewarded according to our works, i.e. as our works deserve.  All that are convinced of sin under-value themselves in every respect.  We are every hour and every moment pleasing or displeasing to God, according to our works, according to the whole of our inward tempers and outward behaviour.”

If this is not high popery, what is?  Mr. John was a professed churchman; but how the above doctrine stands, with what the doctrinal articles of that church maintains, I leave you to judge.  As they declare, that he must believe that no good works can be done, in order to justification, but that we are accounted righteous only for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I could quote more from the above pamphlet, but this is a sufficient specimen of the foundation hope, as expressed by Mr. Wesley, and adhered to by thousands of his professed followers.  What a mercy there are others who are building on a firmer basis.  I bless God that he was pleased to open my mind to receive the complete perfect work of the dear Redeemer; that he shewed me it was neither my works nor my faith, (as a grace, nor as an act) that could justify me before God.  I must have a perfect law-fulfilling righteousness, wrought out by the holy nature and holy life of the Lord Jesus Christ, as the surety of his church—as God-man Mediator—to build on any thing less, is building on the sand, and the dreadful consequences must be—the curse, wrath, and eternal death.  Faith is the eye that sees p. 225the sufficiency of his righteousness—faith is the hand that receives; the vessel, or mind, which contains it when the Holy Spirit brings it near: but surely there is a difference between the eye and the object it discovers; between the hand of the beggar and the alms you put in it; or my coat and the hand that puts it on me.  The Lord brought my soul into liberty on this point, but I had another struggle in my mind.  Soon after this subject had been clearly and sweetly settled, or rather my soul in the perception of it, some of the same party harrassed my mind about persevering in holiness, till I had gained a perfect sinless nature: this was the very thing I wanted; to get rid of sin, to have it totally eradicated, that I should never be overcome by sin, in thought, word, or deed.  Oh happy state, this side heaven!—how I did long for it; sin was, and is, my principal trouble.

“Long time I fought, with groans and tears,
   To drive this rebel from my home.”

I was told this was to be obtained; I was informed of many who really had obtained it, and was already perfect; why not I, if I did but persevere.  To work I went, and strove hard for it; not to gain the favor of God, I was better taught than that; but, that sin might trouble me no more, and that I might no more offend God by so much as a sinful glance of the eye.  To this rubbing off the spot of the leopard; to this washing the black Moor white, I was encouraged by the above accounts of some who had obtained perfection.

p. 226Mr. Wesley, and some of his preachers and hearers could prove that they had known some who were perfect.  I could not suppose these holy creatures would tell lies.  But then I wanted to know how far they might be perfect, and how far not; and to satisfy my mind, I obtained Mr. J. Wesley’s tract on Christian Perfection, a paragraph of which I will quote:—

“And where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty; such liberty, from the law of sin and death, as the children of this world will not believe, though a man declare it unto them.  The son hath made them free who are thus born of God, from that great root of sin and bitterness, pride.  They feel that all their sufficiency is of God; that it is he alone who is in all their thoughts, and worketh in them both to will and to do of his good pleasure.  They feel that it is not they that speak, but the Spirit of their Father who speaketh in them, and that whatsoever is done by their hands, the Father who is in them, he doeth the works.  So that God is to them all in all, and they are nothing in his sight.  They are freed from self-will, as desiring nothing but the holy and perfect will of God: Not supplies in want, not ease in pain, nor life, or death, or any creature, but continually crying in their inmost soul, ‘Father, thy will be done.’  They are freed from evil thoughts, so that they cannot enter into them; no not for a moment.  A foretime, when an evil thought came in, they looked up, and it vanished away.  But now it does not come in, there p. 227being no room for this, in a soul which is full of God.  They are free from wanderings in prayer.  Whensoever they pour out their hearts in a more immediate manner before God, they have no thought of any thing past, or absent, or to come, but of God alone.  In times past they had wandering thoughts darted in, which yet fled away like smoke: but now that smoke does not rise at all.  They have no fear or doubt, either as to their state in general, or as to any particular action.  The unction from the Holy One teacheth them every hour, what they shall do, and what they shall speak.  Nor therefore have they any need to reason concerning it.  They are, in one sense, freed from temptations: for though numberless temptations fly about them, yet they trouble them not.  At all times their souls are even and calm, their hearts are steadfast and unmoveable: their peace, flowing as a river, passeth all understanding, and they rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.  For they are sealed by the Spirit unto the day of redemption, having the witness in themselves, that there is laid up for them a crown of righteousness, which the Lord will give them in that day—”  What a collection of lies!

The above pamphlet is full of such daring impudence; and in one of his sublime hymns he thus sings—

“My cup it runs o’er, I have comfort and power,
   I have pardon, and what can a sinner want more;
He can have a new heart, so as never to start
   From thy ways, he may be in the world as thou art;

p. 228He may be without sin, all holy and clean;
   He may be as his master, all glorious within,
Without blemish or blot, without wrinkle or spot,
   Without power to offend thee, in deed, word, or thought.”

This is the sublime poetry of Wesley, who has been classed with Dr. Watts as a poet; yea, almost with the psalmist, David, in a recent publication called “The Conference; or, Sketches of Wesleyan Methodism.”  The author of which very far exceeds the Wesleys, either John or Charles.  But I beg leave to say, the writers of the Evangelical Magazine, very highly applaud the work.  I think the following lines on Mr. Wesley, in the above work, fulsome:—

“Thou, too, art gone, sweet leader of the choir,
Thou soul of music with a seraph’s lyre;
When Royal David made his final will,
Sweet fancy added this last codicil—
I give to Solomon my crown and throne,
This sacred harp shall Watts and Wesley own;
And thou hast touch’d the strings with so much skill,
The Hebrew melodist enchant us still.”

The propriety of this classification I leave to your judgment, and conclude with one remark more.  Finding by all my strivings, that that which is born of the spirit is spirit, and can never alter; and that which is born of the flesh is flesh, and can never become any thing else.  Reading the word of God it shewed me that the cause of all the groans, tears, complaints, sighs, distresses and afflictions, of all the old and new testament saints was, in-dwelling sin; and by tracing the lives of those eminent characters, I found they were sinners saved by grace p. 229alone—sinners to the last moment, as it respects their sinful nature: but as they, and all the church of God, stand accepted in Christ, they are perfect before God; and to that perfection they will arrive at the glorious resurrection, and not before.  Seeing this was the case, I gave up all hopes of being perfect in the fleshly nature, and was enabled to rejoice in my perfection in the love of God’s heart towards me; in my oneness in Christ, in my complete justification in his obedience, and in my perfect pardon, and cleansing from all sin in the sight of God, as revealed in the law by the great atonement of the God-man Christ Jesus.  Herein is the perfection of the Christian, and it is the gracious work of the Holy Spirit, to lead up the minds of his own people to know and to enjoy these great privileges, and not to set them an utterly impossible task, of gaining fleshly perfection, which is a mere delusion of the devil.  A great writer [229] observed to Mr. Wesley, on Perfection—“You formed a scheme of collecting as many perfect ones as you could, to live together in one house: a number of these flowers were accordingly transplanted from some of your nursery beds to the hot-house, and an hot-house it soon proved; for, would we believe it, the sinless people quarrelled in a short time, at so violent a rate, that you found yourself forced to disband this select regiment: had you kept them together much longer, that line p. 230would have been literally verified in the squabbling members of your church militant.”

“The males pulled noses, and the females caps.”

A very small house, I am persuaded, would hold the really perfect upon earth; you might drive them all into a nut-shell.  Perfection and sincerity, as mentioned in Scripture, are synonimous terms, and being made sincere, may you go on to this perfection.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER XXII.

“And they shall teach my people the difference between the holy and the profane, and cause them to discern between the clean and the unclean; and in controversy they shall stand in judgment.”

To —

Amongst the many painful lessons which the Lord teaches his children, perhaps there is none much more humiliating than the carnal enmity of the human heart; all sin in men, or devils, has an enmity in it to God; every man is by nature an enemy to God, to his holy law, to his holy gospel, and to his holy ways and people; and, dying in that state, it is impossible for him to be saved; for, “without holiness no man can see the Lord; but, blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God,” the p. 231great atonement brought nigh to us in the gospel, applied, revealed and manifested to the conscience, purifies the conscience; the love of God, shed abroad, purifies the affections; but the truth, as it is in Christ, purges the understanding and the judgment from error, which is spiritual uncleanness, and without being purged away, by the light of truth in the soul, a person is not fit for the kingdom of light, because he is not yet translated out of darkness; but, being in the dark about the way of salvation, he is also in a state of enmity.  Many such are to be found in the church of God, whose proud hearts have never been humbled to submit to God’s truth; and being men of talent, have perverted, carnalized, and scoffed at the great leading doctrines of the gospel; yet mighty sticklers for holiness, love, charity and good works (falsely so called;) their conceptions of God are all carnal, dictated by the flesh, and are opposite to the revealed character of God.  Hence the awful charge brought against them.—“Thou thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself, but I will reprove thee.”  I was very much astonished, in my younger days, at many persons, into whose company I fell, as they passed for very holy good people, when some of the fundamental truths of God were spoken of, to see their very countenances redden, and their rage and enmity boil at the very mention of some of the most sweet and awful doctrines of the cross.  With all their pretended, delusive, supposed meekness, they hissed like serpents, particularly at the very mention p. 232of the glorious doctrine of eternal election, and divine predestination to eternal life.  Here they lost all patience, like their fathers of old, who listened, and wondered at the general discourse of our Lord; but when he began to talk about God’s sovereignty, they hurried him to the brow of the hill, with an intent to break his neck.  Luke 4.  And so it is now.  I observed one thing, namely, that I could see no difference between these great professors, who boasted they were convinced here, converted there, justified here, and sanctified there.  I say I could see not the least difference between them, as it respects their religious sentiments or views of God’s word, than the most profane, wicked, worldling, or dead formalist.  This then, is an awful proof of their blindness and enmity.  Situated as I was in the world, I had often opportunities of hearing carnal, wicked, worldlings talk about religion; and generally observed, that they brought up, censured and ridiculed eternal election, and represented it as a most dreadful and arbitrary act; adding, that those who held this sentiment, also believed that God had, from eternity, reprobated and consigned over to hell, the greatest part of mankind; yea, infants who had never sinned, which (they argued) made out God to be a very unjust, and tyrannically wicked; being, yea, worse than Molech.  All these sentiments and ideas we expect from an ungodly world; they know no better.  God declares that they are blind, and enemies; yea, enmity itself.  Such we can pity.  But, judge my surprize, when p. 233one of Mr. Wesley’s followers put a book into my hand, entitled “Hymns on God’s Everlasting Love:” finding it contained the very language that these profane and wicked worldlings had been constantly using; where then, exclaimed I, is the difference between the author, the admirers of this work, and the bitterest enemies of God: why, alas! in point of truth, or light, or love, none at all; they are all upon a footing; for, though they may differ in some things of an external nature, I found they all agreed to ridicule the truth of God’s most holy word.  Here the Heathen, the Papist, the Quaker, the Arminian and the most profane, as well as the most precise and moral professor, all unite.  The above hymns, as they are called, are full of the most deadly poison, and the most awful misrepresentations; and though but consisting of little better than eighty pages, contain more than two hundred palpable falsehoods: no Christian, as taught of God, can read them without shuddering at the base, lying, wicked declarations, insinuations, and wilful misrepresentations; and, while the author professes so much seeming meekness and pity for the wicked world, and is ridiculing the awful doctrine of reprobation, he himself has the daring impudence to reprobate all the real ministers of the gospel in the following lines:—

“Hear the old hellish murderers roar
   For you Christ died, and not one more;
His children listen to his call,
   And shout Christ did not die for all.”

p. 234You will surely be surprised when I tell you that this was written by that candid, meek, holy creature, against those who differ from him in doctrine.  The Calvinist preachers, and their hearers, surely owe Mr. Wesley little thanks for his politeness and candour, as he has styled them all hellish murderers, monsters, and the people in general who receive the truth, the children of such monsters and murderers.  This is the man who is reprobating reprobation; and, at the same time, is reprobating all who differ from him, as reprobates.  I found, through all his book, his awful enmity to the doctrines of the gospel.—Eternal election, and scriptural reprobation he first scandalously misrepresents, and then holds both up to ridicule, while he asserts God’s holy and awful decrees to be horrible; and that if election and reprobation are true, God is worse than Molech, if he has chosen some, and left others, in the solemn display of his severity.  Hear the language of Mr. Wesley.

“Oh, horrible decree! worthy of whence it came.  Forgive their hellish blasphemy, who charge it on the Lamb.”

“I could the devil’s law receive,
   Unless restrain’d by thee;
I could, good God, I could believe
   The horrible decree.
I could believe that God is hate,
   The God of love and grace,
Did damn, pass by, and reprobate
   The most of human race.
p. 235Farther than this I cannot go,
   Till Tophet takes me in;
But oh, forbid that I should know
   This mystery of sin.”

And did these holy men, John and Charles, thus talk?—Yes; such were their hearts, and out of that wicked abundance they thus spoke and wrote; and, in these awful delusions, and dreadful enmity to truth, I suppose they lived and died, for we never hear that either of them ever recanted or repented of their awful errors; and I am informed that many Calvinist preachers hung their pulpits in black when the above gentlemen died.—I ask was it for sorrow, or to shew the colour of their errors?  The man that dies in his errors unrepented of, must be damned if God be true; and he that errs from the truth must be converted from the errors of his way, before his soul can be saved from death, or the multitude of his sins be covered.  I am thankful, however, it was my mercy to be favoured with the sound of the pure gospel, and at times furnished with some excellent books written in answer, and forming a complete refutation of the system of Arminianism.  Dr. Gill, Mr. Toplady and others very masterly answered Wesley and his colleagues; and Sir Richard Hill and others, refuted Fletcher; although the Wesleyan Methodists boldly assert that Fletcher is invulnerable, and has never been answered or refuted.  This could easily be proved, if Sir Richard’s works were again revived.  Gurney likewise wrote many excellent pieces; especially the “Nature and Fitness of p. 236Things,” and “The Perfection of God, a Standing Rule to try all Doctrines and Experiences by;” in which the author says, upon a review of the “Hymns (blasphemously so called) on God’s Everlasting Love.”

“Blush, Wesley blush, be fill’d with shame,
Doom thy vile poem to the flame:
What tongue thy horrid crime can tell;
Put saints to sing the song of hell!”

Many, indeed, humbly hope that Mr. John and Charles are now in heaven, singing the song of the Lamb, with all the blood-bought throng.  I hope they are; but they must both alter their singing there, to that strange song they sung upon earth.  In the hymns we have just noticed, no man can learn that song which the redeemed sing there; but the redeemed themselves; and if not redeemed, they cannot sing; if they are the redeemed they will sing of it.  But millions dying in awful enmity to God is no proof they were redeemed from hell; and all that are in heaven, or ever will be, are redeemed from among men.  This is the world which he died for.  As God took a nation from the midst of another nation, so he takes a world from the midst of the world.  These are the every men he died for; not devils, serpents, vipers, dogs and goats; “But ye my flock are men, and the sheep of my pasture are ye, oh house of Israel;” the price of their redemption is p. 237paid—God hath accepted it, and the Holy Spirit has engaged to make it known to all who are interested in it sooner or later; and, having began this work, he will never leave it till it terminates in the glorification of the bodies and souls of all his elect redeemed.

“For how would the power of darkness boast,
If but one praying soul was lost.”

But that cannot be, while Jesus lives to plead their cause; he must deliver up his kingdom in the final consummation.  For this is the Father’s will, that of all he hath given me I should lose nothing, but shall raise it up again at the last day.  This opposition to truth was raised originally by Pelaquis, revived in Holland by Van Harmin, Arminius, and brought over to this country in the sixteenth century; propagated by the Wesley’s, and received by so many thousands, because it is suited to the carnal world, the pride of the heart, and opposition to God’s divine sovereignty and justice.  This subject, I say, not only drew forth the pens of great men in its defence, but also some sarcastic writings, treating it with the contempt it deserves.  Amongst many other pieces, there was one which appeared in the Old Gospel Magazine, supposed to be written by The Rev. R. H—, or Mr. M’Gowan, and signed “Auscultator,” which, as it is printed, I here present it.

p. 238The Serpent and the Fox; or an Interview between Old Nick and Old John.

There’s a Fox, who resideth hard by,
The most perfect, and holy, and sly.
That e’er turn’d a coat, or could pilfer or lye.

As this Reverend Reynard one day,
Sat thinking what game next to play;
Old Nick came a seas’nable visit to pay.

“O your servant, my friend,” quoth the priest;
“Tho’ you carry the mark of the beast,
I never shook paws with a welcomer guest.”

“Many thanks, holy man,” cry’d the fiend,
“’Twas because you’re my very good friend,
That I dropt in with you a few moments to spend.”

JOHN.

Your kindness requited shall be;
There’s the Calvinist-Methodists, see,
Who’re eternally troublous to you and to me.

Now I’ll stir up the hounds of the whore
That’s called scarlet, to worry them sore;
And then roast ’em in Smithfield, like Bonner of yore.

NICK.

O a meal of the Calvinist brood
Will do my old stomach more good,
Than a sheep to a wolf that is starving for food.

JOHN.

When America’s conquer’d, you know
(’Til then we must leave them to crow),
I’ll work up our rulers to strike an home blow.

NICK.

An excellent plan, could you do it;
But if all the internals too knew it,
They’d be puzzled, like me, to tell how you’ll go through it.

JOHN.

When they speak against vice in the great;
I’ll cry out that they aim’d at the State;
And the Ministry, King, and the Parliament hate.

Thus I’ll still act the part of a lyar;
Persecution’s blest spirit inspire;
And then “Calmly Address” ’em with faggot and fire.

NICK.

Ay, that’s the right way, I know well:
But how lyes with perfection can dwell,
Is a riddle, dear John, that would puzzle all hell.

JOHN.

Pish, you talk like a doating old elf:
Can’t you see now it brings in the pelf?
And all things are lawful that serve a man’s self.

As serpents we ought to be wise:
Is not self-preservation a prize?
For this did not Abram the righteous tell lyes?

NICK.

I perceive you are subtle, tho’ small:
You have reason, and scripture, and all;
So stilted, you never can finally fall.

JOHN.

From the drift of your latter reflection,
I fear you maintain some connection
With the crocodile crew that believe in Election.

p. 239NICK.

By my troth, I abhor the whole troop;
With those heroes I never could cope:
I should chuckle to see them all swing in a rope.

JOHN.

Ah, could we but set the land free
From those bawlers about the Decree,
Who’re such torments to you, to my brother, and me!

As for Whitefield, I know it right well,
He has sent down his thousands to hell;
And, for aught that I know, he’s gone with ’em to dwell.

NICK.

I grant, my friend John, for ’tis true,
That he was not so perfect as YOU:
Yet (confound him) I lost him, for all I could do.

JOHN.

Take comfort! he’s not gone to glory;
Or, at most, not above the first story.
For none but the perfect escape purgatory.

At best he’s in limbo, I am sure;
And must still a long purging endure,
Ere like me, he’s made sinless, quite holy, and pure.

NICK.

Such purging my Johnny needs none.
By your own mighty works it is done,
And the kingdom of glory your merit has won.

Thus wrapt in your self-righteous plod,
And self-raised when you throw off this clod,
You shall mount, and demand your own seat like a god:

You shall not in Paradise wait,
But climb the third story with state;
While your Whitefields and Hills are turn’d back from the gate.

Old John never dreamt that he jeer’d:
So Nick turn’d himself round, and he sneer’d;
And then shrugg’d up his shoulders, and straight disappear’d.

The priest, with a simpering face,
Shook his hair-locks and paused for a space:
Then sat down to forge lyes, with his usual grimace.

“Ascultator.” [239]

I have no doubt I shall get but little thanks for the revival of this old controversy, nor should I have mentioned it, but—1st, To inform you how my mind was harrassed at times between Calvinism and Arminianism, and how I was delivered from that shackling system into electing and constraining love.—2.  To caution others against such a sandy foundation.—3.  To shew you the state of the professing church at this day.  How once they tried those who p. 240said they were apostles and were not, but were found liars, and who very industriously carried their system, as they now do, to almost every quarter of the globe: but, alas! this first love is left, and a system of moderation is adopted to please the pharisaic part of the world, by those who know better; this is giving their colours to the enemy indeed.  We see this in some old ministers who were once zealous for truth; but now, alas! occupy the very pulpits, and wink at those very errors they once opposed.  How is the gold become dim, and the most fine gold changed.  Instead of the Lord’s controversy—a statement and defence of truth in its purity—many of our Dissenting, Independent, and Baptist congregations, are entertained with a dish or two of Fuller’s earth and Baxteriansand; their sermons in general being eked out with a stir about the Antinomians, merely to help out at a dead lift when they have nothing else to say.  I speak this of our modern Calvinists; but blessed be God we have still a few names in our sardis that have not defiled their garments, and who are bold champions for all the truth, as it is in Christ; the Lord increase their number in the churches of every denomination.—Amen.

Whatever were the objections I could possibly raise against the doctrine of God’s sovereignty, I found in the Sacred Scriptures the line of distinction drawn by the pen of eternal truth, between the two heads—Christ and Adam; and between the two seeds—elect and non-elect; nor could I, nor p. 241dare I contradict it,—the subject was plainly set before my eyes, and all the carnal logic that men are masters of, can never blot this fact from the word of God, let them turn and twist it how they may—namely, that there is a people whom the Lord never loved nor ever will save.  I will now remind you of this in a few Scriptures, and leave them in the solemn and awful manner in which God has stated them.

“The Lord hath made all things for himself, even the wicked for the day of evil; and they shall call them the border of wickedness, the people against whom the Lord hath indignation for ever.—But Esau have I hated; the abhorred of the Lord shall fall into it; their souls abhorred me and my soul also abhorred them.—Reprobate silver shall men call them, because the Lord hath rejected them.—I will profess unto you I never knew you.—A stone of stumbling, a rock of offence to both the houses of Israel for a gin and a snare, and many among them shall stumble and fall and be broken, and snared and taken.—Behold this child is set for the fall of many in Israel.—I thank thee, oh Father, that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent.—Not many rich are called.—But the wicked shall do wickedly, and shall not understand.—To the one we are a savour of death unto death.—Whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken that which he seemeth to have.—But ye believe not because ye are not of my sheep.—To them it is not given, the world cannot receive, the natural man cannot discern.—No p. 242man can come to me to me except the Father draw him.—For when he would have inherited the blessing he was rejected.—For there are certain men crept in unawares who were before of old ordained to this condemnation.—I also will choose their delusions—And many false prophets shall arise and deceive many.—For it is a people of no understanding; therefore he that made them will not have mercy upon them, and he that formed them will shew them no favour.—They which are the children of the flesh are not the children of God.—But because ye are not of the world, therefore the world hateth you.  Behold ye despisers, and wonder and perish.  I will work a work in which you shall in no wise believe.—You shall not believe, ye shall seek me and shall not find me.—And if the prophet be deceived, I the Lord have deceived that prophet, and I will destroy him.—So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth.—For judgment I am come into this world that those which see might be made blind.—Make the heart of this people gross, and make their ears heavy lest they see, hear, understand, convert and be healed.—And for this cause God shall send them strong delusions that they should believe a lie, that they all may be damned who believe not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.—Evil men and seducers shall wax worse and worse.—It shall be a bridle in the jaws of the people, causing them to err.—They perish for ever, without any regarding it.—Ye shall seek me, and shall die in your sins.—Many are called, but few chosen.—He that is unjust, let him be unjust still; and he that is filthy, let him be p. 243filthy still.—But the miry places shall be given to salt.—But these, as natural brute beasts, made to be taken and destroyed, and shall utterly perish in their own corruptions.—This is the portion of a wicked man from God, and the heritage appointed unto him by God.—He shall divide the sheep from the goats—Whom he will he hardeneth.—The Lord bid Shimei to curse David, moved David to number the people, stirred up Joseph’s brethren to sell him into Egypt, hardened the heart of Pharaoh, sent a lying spirit to deceive Ahab, mingled a perverse spirit in the midst of Egypt.—I make peace and create evil.—If our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost, whose names are not written in the book of life; therefore will he give them up.—And Eli’s sons hearkened not unto the Lord, because he would destroy them.—It had been better for that man if he had never been born.—One shall be taken and another left.”

These are a few of those Scriptures which are so highly offensive to the Arminian pride of the human heart: I find them very offensive to my proud heart.  But the Lord is in his holy temple.  Let the earth keep silence before him, and do you give all diligence to make your calling and election, sure.—Get some solid evidence of your predestination to eternal life, so as to render it unquestionable, and your labour shall not be in vain in the Lord.  I cannot conclude this letter without sending you part of a remarkable speech, delivered in parliament, Jan. 26, 1628, by Francis Rouse, esq. a member of the House of Commons.

p. 244“We have of late entered into consideration of the petition of right, and the violation of it, and upon good reasons; for it concerns our goods, liberties and lives.  But there is a right of an higher nature—a right of religion, derived to us from the King of Kings, confirmed to us by the kings of this kingdom, and enacted by laws in this place: streaming down to us in the blood of the martyrs, and witnessed from Heaven by miracles, even miraculous deliverances.—And this right, in the name of this nation, I this day claim; and desire that there may be a deep and serious consideration of the violations of it.

“I desire, first, it may be considered what new paintings are laid on the old face of the whore of Babylon, to make her more lovely, and to draw more suiters to her.

“I desire that it may be considered, how the See of Rome doth eat into our religion, and fret into the banks and walls of it; by which banks and walls I mean the laws and statutes of this realm.

“I desire that we may consider the increase of Arminianism: an error that maketh the grace of God lacquey it after the will of man; that maketh the sheep to keep the shepherd; and makes mortal seed of the immortal God.  I desire that we may look into the very belly and bowels of the Trojan horse, to see if there be not in it men ready to open the gates to Romish tyranny and Spanish monarchy.  For an Arminian is the spawn of a Papist; and if there come the warmth of court favour upon him, you shall see him turned into one of those frogs that arise out of the bottomless pit.

p. 245“If ye mark it well, you shall see an Arminian reaching out his hand to a Papist; a Papist to a Jesuit; a Jesuit gives one hand to the Pope, and the other hand to the king of Spain.  And these men (that is the Arminians, then newly sprung up) having kindled fire in our neighbour’s country, (that is in the Dutch provinces) have now brought over some of it hither, to set on flame this kingdom also.”

Heu, pietes!  Heu, prisca fides!
Alas, Religion!  Alas antient faith!

I must also recommend to your diligent attention “Dr. Owen, on Arminianism,”—“Dr. Gill’s cause of God and Truth,”—“Huntington’s Arminian Skeleton, and Funeral of Arminianism,” with Mr. Toplady’s “More Work for John Wesley.”  Praying for a spirit of judgment (Isaiah iv.) and burning, that the filth, (the Arminianism) of the daughters of Zion may be purged, according to his very precious promise.  Many shall be purified and made white, and tried: not forgetting the exhortation that speaketh to you as to children.  “Let thy garments be always white, and thine head lack no ointment: let thy fountain be always blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth (the truth as it is in Christ); let her be as the loving hind and the pleasant roe; let her breasts (of consolation) satisfy thee at all times, and be thou always ravished with her love; and why wilt thou my son be ravished with a strange woman, (error) and embrace the bosom of a stranger, for the ways of man are before the Lord, and he pondereth his p. 246goings.”—Proverbs v.  But the Lord is faithful, which will establish you and keep you from evil.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER XXIII.

“Howbeit when He, the Spirit of Truth, is come, He will guide you into all truth.”

To —

We have a just right to record the deliverances which the Most High God has wrought out for us.  I have, in my humble degree, done so; and although it may incur the displeasure of many, I could not avoid it.  I consider such acknowledgments a part of the glory due to God.  Hence the promise “I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me.”  And I must also acquaint you with a few more of these great deliverances which I have experienced by his grace, in leading me from the paths of death to the fountain of life.  I can never be sufficiently thankful that he has opened to me the law of the wise, that I might escape from the snares of death, which I consider consist in opposition to God’s revealed truths.  In my last I informed you of deliverance from the shackles of Arminianism; and in a former letter, from the dreadful heresy of denying the godhead and personality both of the dear Redeemer and the Holy Spirit.  But though delivered, I was, and am frequently p. 247beset by the enemies of the doctrine of the adorable Trinity in Unity.  This has often grieved me sorely, especially in seasons of weakness, when satan, unbelief and carnal reason seemed to triumph in my mind.  The glorious, holy and sublime doctrine of the Trinity, in the essential Unity, is clearly revealed in the word of God, and without attempting to comprehend, it is enough for us to believe.  After I had been much perplexed in my mind, I bless God that he ever condescended to open the subject satisfactorily, and as he was pleased to use means for this purpose: the best I have ever seen, and the most conclusive, is the book I have already mentioned, the excellent “Jones, on the Catholic Doctrine of the Trinity,” and by his masterly comparisons of one Scripture with another, he has clearly proved that point, by shewing that the Unity of the Sacred Three is maintained in the sacred names, attributes and acts of the Sacred Three.

Isaiah, xliv. 24.  “I am the Lord that maketh all things, that stretcheth forth the heavens alone, that spreadeth abroad the earth by myself.”

Psalm, xxxiii. 6.  “By the word of the Lord were the heavens made, and all the host of them by the breath of his mouth—the spirit of his mouth.”

Therefore the Father, with the word and spirit, are the alone, Lord and Creator of all things.

It has been proved, again and again, that the word Lord, when printed in capital letters, always signifies Jehovah.

Deut. vi. 4.  “The Lord our God is one Jehovah.”

p. 248Jeremiah, xxiii, 6.  “This is the name whereby he shall be called, Jehovah our righteousness; so is the Spirit also.”

Ezekiel, viii. 1, 3.  “The Lord Jehovah put forth the form of an hand, and took me up, and the Spirit lifted me up.”

Therefore the Father, Son and Spirit are the one Jehovah; they are three persons, yet have but one name and nature.

Matthew, xv. 31.  “The multitude glorified the God of Israel.”

Luke, xvi. 17.  “The children of Israel shall return to the Lord their God, and he shall go before them.”

2 Samuel, xxiii. 23.  “The Spirit of the Lord spake by me, and the Rock of Israel said unto me.”

Therefore the Trinity in Unity is the God of Israel.

Deut. vi. 16.  “Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.”

1 Cor. x. 9.  “Neither let us tempt Christ.”

Acts, v. 9.  “How is it that ye have agreed to tempt the Spirit of the Lord?”

Here the whole Trinity is represented as tempted and visited.

The mind and will of God is the mind and will of a Trinity in Unity.

1 Cor. ii. 14.  “Who hath known the mind of God.”

Ibid.  “We have the mind of Christ.”

Rom. xxvii.  “He that searcheth the hearty knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit.”

1 Thes. iv. 3.  “This is the will of God.”

p. 249Acts, xxii. 14.  “The God of our fathers hath chosen thee, that thou shouldest know his will.”

This is meant of Christ and of his will.  Acts, ix. 15, 16.

2 Peter, xxi.  “Prophecy came not in old times by the will of men, but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.”

The power of God is the power of the Trinity in Unity.

Eph. iii. 7.  “The grace of God given unto me by the effectual working of his power.”

2 Cor. xii. 9.  “That the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

Rom. xv. 19.  “Signs and wonders by the power of the Spirit of God.”

TRUE.

“He that sent me is true.”

“These things saith he that is holy, he that is true.”

“It is the spirit that beareth witness, because the spirit is truth.”

HOLY.

“For thou only art holy.”

“But ye denied the Holy One.”

“Ye have an unction from the Holy one, the anointing.”

OMNIPRESENT.

“Do I not fill heaven and earth, saith the Lord.”

“The fulness of him (Christ) that filleth all in all.”

“Whither shall I go from thy Spirit; if to heaven, thou art there, or hell, thou art there also.”

p. 250LIFE.

“Love the Lord thy God, for he is thy life.”

“When Christ, who is our life, shall appear.”

“The spirit is life.”

“The Trinity in Unity, made all mankind.”

“The Lord he is God, he it is that hath made us.”

“By him (Christ) were all things made.”

“The Spirit of God hath made me.”

RESURRECTION OF CHRIST.

“God hath raised up the Lord, and shall raise us up by his own power.”

“Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

“Being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit.”

LEADING.

“I am the Lord thy God, which leadeth thee by the way.”

“He (Christ) calleth his own by name and leadeth them out.”

“As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.”

SANCTIFICATION.

“Sanctified by God the Father.”

“He that sanctifieth, and they who are sanctified, are all of one.”

“Being sanctified by the Holy Ghost.”

I might quote many more Scriptures to prove this very interesting subject, and produce a thousand arguments, but if they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one p. 251rose from the dead: it is no small mercy to believe, and receive the truth in the love of it, and to be fully persuaded in our own minds, of the truth, as it is in Jesus.  On the word of God’s truth I rest, without asking a thousand carnal questions, remembering Him that hath said, “What is that to thee, follow thou me.”  The above Scriptures, thus arranged, with many more by the above author, and Mr. Huntington’s book, “Contemplations on the God of Israel,” which, in my humble opinion, exceeds all that that good man wrote.  These were the means of establishing my mind on this great subject, and delivering my soul from a thousand perplexities, for which I can never be too thankful.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXIV.

‘“But watch thou in all things.”

To —

I have often intimated to you the necessity of keeping a sort of diary, and minuting down some of the Lord’s dealings with you: this has a tendency to excite watchfulness, prayer, and gratitude.  I do not mean that you should minute down all, as that might appear ostentatious; and forgetting all, as a mark of ingratitude.  However, for those that have time and ability for such a work, it must greatly add to their joy and improvement in the divine life, p. 252and at the close of the year, to retrace written memorandums of the Lord’s dealings, would greatly felicitate the mind, and strike the soul with wonder.  “Who is wise will observe these things, and he shall understand the loving kindness of the Lord.”  I will transcribe the short memorandums of a few days, to stir you up to adopt the same method, as it will reward you in the end.

Saturday.—Awoke this morning, dull, dejected, and unfit for study; very little life in prayer, and even a degree of reluctance to pray.  What a mercy necessity compelled me to arise and go unto my Father! and after some time sitting before the Lord, I felt a degree of spirituality.  Some precious subjects opened to my view, which I put into the hands of the ever blessed Spirit, to bring to my mind when I should stand in need of them.  Closed the day in spiritual conversation and prayer with our friends Mr. and Mrs. —.

Sunday.—Early this morning visited with these sweet words; “Oh, go your way into his courts with thankfulness, and into his gates with praise; be thankful to him, and speak good of his name.”  Predicted I should have a good day, and so it proved; but surely satan envied it, for at night my feet had well nigh slipped.  Closed the day very dejectedly.  Alas! what poor returns of love hath my Creator found, what cause of shame and confusion for such ingratitude; oh, for more conformity to his blessed image.

Monday.—Weak in body, low in mind, sadly p. 253harrassed.  Many useless visitors upon mere trivial affairs, with the wretched reflection upon a debt owing to —.  Could find no text to preach upon in the evening.  Fretful, peevish, and in much bondage.  Yet oh! the patience and forbearance of God!  How sweetly supported, supplied and melted in the house of God, in preaching on John xvi. 27.  Received the same evening a present from a lady, which relieved my anxious mind and confounded my unbelief.  Closed the day in holy wonder and admiration at the grace and providence of God.

Tuesday.—I almost grieve I let sleep close my eyes last night; my frame is changed again; corruption sin and folly has interrupted me, disturbed my mind, prevented communion with God in meditation, prayer and reading; irregular passion let loose to vex me.  Oh, that I could fly from myself!  In vain I wish a solitary life, a cave, or the place of the way-faring man; I should carry the same nature with me there: I sink in despondency about the renovation of this sinful nature; but, blessed be God for Jesus Christ, in whom his people stand complete.  A clear spiritual apprehension of this warms my heart, and again carries me above all my horrid feelings.

Beset with snares on every hand,
In life’s uncertain path I stand.

Wednesday.—Blest with a spirit of prayer, diligence in reading, and clear light in the Word.  Read p. 254a little of “Dr. Owen, on Communion with God,” “Dr. Goodwin, on the Condition of the Creatures,” “Gospel Magazine,” “Huntington’s Moral Law not Injured by the Everlasting Gospel.” &c.

“My willing soul would stay
In such a frame as this.”

No exstacies or ravishing joys, but a solid satisfaction of soul, by the knowledge and reception of truth.  Very happy in preaching this evening, on “Is thine heart right.”

Thursday.—Lost much time to day in needless visits and trifling company, disputed with a Swedenborgian for three hours, about some of the grand truths of the Word, but I saw no good effects in my opponent.  I am thankful I was kept cool and deliberate all the time.  I dislike disputes, and always very reluctantly enter the lists, but when compelled I never keep back; the religion that is not worth contending for, is not worth having.  A good man once observed, that was always a lost day wherein he neither got any good, nor did any good; such days are painful to reflect upon.  I gained one thing to day—a grateful heart for the knowledge of the truth.

Friday.—Received a gracious answer to prayer in the opening of a very great subject in the Word of God; also an answer to prayer in a providential way.  Some time previous, a sweet portion was sent to my soul; but the fulfilment of the promise evidences it p. 255to be of God’s sending: thousands boast of promises applied, but it is the accomplishment proves them to be of God.  He that hath received his testimony, hath set to his seal that God is true.  Comfortable in preaching in the evening.

Sunday.—A good day to my soul.  Felt much light and liberty in all my subjects; the Lord gave me power of utterance.  Preached in the morning on that ambiguous portion, “Behold the man is become one of us.”  Opposed a prevailing error, concerning the oneness of absolute Deity and a sinner.  Shewed Adam was a type of Christ, in about twenty-four particulars: applied the text to Christ as God-man; 2, to Adam, as restored to God’s image; 3, to every believer as converted to God: noticed the last part.  Gave the opinion of commentators, and then what views I had of it.

Afternoon.—The opening of the passion week.  The eventful circumstances of the last week of our Lord’s humiliation is always very affecting to my mind.  Preached on his riding to Jerusalem.  In the evening, his weeping over Jerusalem, entering into the temple, and return to Bethany.  A solemn day throughout.

Monday.—Met with many things to grieve me, but several peculiar providences cheered my heart.  Preached in the evening on the Saviour’s cursing the fig-tree.  Oh! what a mercy to be in Christ, and grafted into the true tree of life, that we may bring forth fruit unto God.

Tuesday.—Visited several sick beds, and dear p. 256families who had been visited by death, prayed with some, but sorely shut up with others; this was painful indeed.  Preached same evening on the poor widow and her two mites; and what have I to cast into the fulness of Christ, but my soul and my body; not to enrich, but to be enriched.

Wednesday.—Read Ambrose Christopher Vess, and other good writers.  Preached in the evening on the Saviour washing the disciples’ feet.  Alas! our daily errors and infirmities need washing away in the blood of the Lamb, by the word of God, and the influence of the Spirit.

Thursday.—A particular solemn day.  Viewed with sacred delight, the thirty-three years of our Lord’s obedience to the law, for the justification of his Church, and now I behold him hastening to the awful entrance upon his direful sufferings and death, to put away sin.  Preached in the evening on “They shall shew you a large upper room, furnished, there make ready.”  Gave the sacrament between eight and nine o’clock, to about 300 persons; all was solemn and impressive; I was sweetly supported and a little melted.  Oh, that it had been more so.

For canst thou, ungrateful man, his sorrows see,
Nor drop one tear for him who shed his blood for thee.

Good Friday.—Preached in the morning on Ephesians, i.  I felt the power of the subject, and nearly at times overwhelmed, but kept up under the description of the Saviour’s sorrows; blessed also p. 257with a lively hope; he died for me.  Preached in the evening upon his burial, and predicted resurrection, 41st Psalm.  A solemn and blessed day.

Saturday.—Led to some precious portions of God’s word, though rather dead in mind and tired in body.  Same day buried a dear friend, conversed and prayed with the family in the evening.

Easter Sunday morning.—Blessed with spirituality, though a little indisposed in body.  Preached on the Seven Resurrections, but enlarged on our resurrection state in Christ, from Romans vi.

Afternoon.—Preached on Habakuk, iii. 2.  “Wilt thou not revive us again.”  In the evening, a funeral sermon for a beloved friend, whose life was spiritual, and whose death was blessed; the text John xi.  “I am the resurrection,” &c.  But alas! how flat and insipid I felt, yet God blessed the word.

I look back with gratitude on what the Lord has done for me, and rejoice that amidst the many changes I experience in body, soul and circumstances, in the Church and in the world, he is the same yesterday, to day and for ever; in his love, in his purposes, in his covenant, in his word, and in his faithfulness.  Oh, could I know and love him more.

“For Lord I would be thine alone,
   And wholly live in thee;
Take all that I possess below,
   And give thyself to me.”

I only send you this as a short specimen of a few memorandums I wish you to make and keep by you; p. 258you will often find the benefit of reviewing them.—Hence the order, “Set thee up way-marks, make thee high heaps.”  These memorandums are as Gilead, an heap of witnesses, and ye are my witnesses saith the Lord.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXV.

“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith.”

To —

The work of God, Father, Son, and Spirit, was ever opposed by satan and his emissaries in all the grand displays of his favour to his dear people, in the open manifestation of his love, in the accomplishment of our redemption, in the proclamation of pardon and mercy in the gospel, and in the operations of the ever-blessed Spirit on the hearts of his chosen.  It is the last point I now beg you to notice; there are greater and more mischievous foes to this work than to any other, because this opposition generally comes from a quarter where one would hardly expect it; some profest Christians deny it entirely; others admit it in part only, as an assistant to the creature.  The apostle has addressed such characters in this pointed speech.  “Beware, lest that come on you which was p. 259spoken by the prophet, ‘Behold ye despisers and wonder, and perish, for I work a work in your days; a work in which you shall in no wise believe, though a man declare it unto you.’”  You may talk to many about the works of creation and redemption, and they may give credit to it; but if you talk to them about the work of God the Holy Spirit on the heart, they will hiss like a serpent, and soon manifest their enmity to you and the work itself.  But, my dear friend, although God has been pleased to begin, and is actually carrying on this work in our hearts, have we not more formidable foes within: are not our inward enemies worse than every outward foe?  Let me appeal to your conscience.  Do you not at times give way to doubting, and God-dishonouring unbelief?  Do you not lie against your right, and offend the Lord in a fit of ingratitude, and too often indulge your suspicions and your complaints?  Is not this giving place to satan, to harrass your mind, and keep up the distance between God, and your soul; setting you at questioning the reality of a work of grace in the heart, and begetting a fear in your soul that you are nothing but an hypocrite?  The world, perhaps, joins in it and says the same: oh, you are nothing but an hypocrite.  Perhaps providence seems contrary, troubles befal you, the members of the same church are permitted to suspect your religion, and condemn you only as an hypocrite.  Under this opposition I have sighed and wept.  Yet will you believe it, even this has done me much good: the fears of being an hypocrite, and being p. 260found so in death and judgment, have driven me to pray that God would make me sincere and without offence.  By persevering in prayer I have obtained fresh light; the Lord has cast a ray on the track he has led me; and by reading the word I have been enabled to compare my past and present case with the word of God: this has often afforded me joy and peace in believing: not that I make my experience a foundation of hope, but I look upon some Bible parts of experience to be tokens for good, way-marks, evidences, and infallible signs and proofs of the electing love of God and of redemption from woe.  The method I have found good to adopt has been the following:—

First, I have considered the characters specified in the Bible, to whom the promises and invitations belong: these persons are described clearly by such terms, and couched in such words as the very weakest believer may comprehend, sometimes as expressive of his feelings, and the views which he has of himself, in himself; so that when faith is too weak to apprehend what we are in Christ, it is busied about what we are in ourselves, as described in the word, and as we are led to feel, see, lament and acknowledge the same before God and man.  For instance, the word of God has set forth our state as dead, blind, captive, alienated from God, filled with enmity, rebellion, pride and unbelief.  An acquaintance with these things as inherent in our nature is peculiar only to God’s people: all men are by nature in this state, but the children of God are the only persons who see it, feel it and lament it, and prize the remedy p. 261God has provided.  When I have heard or read sermons and authors speak of the dignity and excellency of human nature, I have felt disgusted, because I know, first, what the Bible has declared of human nature, and secondly, I have had the painful feelings of these things; I have felt my deadness, I have seen my blindness, I have felt my bondage, and saw, with horror, my distance and want of conformity to God.  I have been brought into such circumstances as to feel my rebellion against a holy and a just God, his law, his gospel, his people and his sovereign dispensations: the Lord has shown me my pride of heart, and I have felt shut up in unbelief; I have seen my weakness, and been led captive by sin, satan and the world; and to this day feel the tyranny of sin; though, blessed be God, sin is not my sovereign, it rages, but it does not reign.  A view, a deep heart-felt acquaintance with these things is feeling the plague of the heart; and deep as our knowledge may be of this desperate sore, not one half can ever be known by us.  It was a good saying of Mr. Whitfield’s, “There are two mysteries we can never comprehend, the mystery of Godliness, as set forth in the gospel, and the mystery of iniquity which works in the heart.”  No one can possibly prize the holy person and precious work of Christ, but those who are led by the Spirit into an acquaintance with their own hearts.  This knowledge of the human heart distinguishes a believer from an hypocrite, and a mere carnal professor; it is the most painful part of our experience, but it is very useful.  The full p. 262loatheth an honeycomb, but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet; and as the ever blessed Spirit leads us on to know our desperate vileness, so we see the justice of God in our condemnation, by the holy law which we have violated; we see the sin of Adam in a most awful light, and view it imputed to us, and condemning us.  These things are better understood than it is possible to write them.  I beg leave to observe once more, this knowledge of the human heart is gradual; we saw a little of it at our first setting out, but what do we see now.  Hence the command to Ezekiel, “Turn again, son of man, thou shalt yet see greater abominations than these.”  Oh! the patience and forbearance of God with such hell-deserving sinners.  Oh! the love of his heart, and the greatness, freeness, and power of his grace, give, oh, give him the glory for ever.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXVI.

“For the Spirit itself, Himself beareth witness with our Spirits, that we are the children of God, and if children, then heirs.”

To —

One of the very great errors of the present day in which we live amongst our professing churches, is p. 263not giving to God the Holy Ghost, the glory of his distinct personality in the Godhead, in perfect equality with the Father and the Son, adoring and worshiping him as a person in God, and making him the object of our faith, hope and love.  We confess that he is equally interested in our salvation, but do we give him equal praise?  I fear not.  It is a mercy to be divinely led to understand the personality, divinity, covenant offices and work of God the Holy Spirit; the different characters he bears to his people, and in which he is presented to our view in his own word as an advocate, reprover, comforter, sanctifier, teacher, leader, sealer, glorifier and witness of Jesus in his word, and to the hearts of his own dear people, for which he is well qualified as the spirit of knowledge, a spirit of judgment, and a spirit of truth; and he that believeth on the Son of God hath the witness in himself, because the Spirit has taken the great things of Christ, and shewn them to his soul; for all the spiritual knowledge we have of Christ is by his teaching, and in no other way: the Holy Spirit has borne his witness of Christ as God in the language of Isaiah, “His name shall be called the mighty God and of his Sonship, and I saw and bare record that this is the Son of God, and of the person, work and offices of the Redeemer.  He shall testify of me.”  This he has graciously done in the word, and to the souls of all his elect redeemed ones in all ages.  He also is a witness with, or to the hearts of his people.  Hence the apostle asserts that the Lord’s people are heirs p. 264of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; being interested in God as the covenant God of his people in Christ, and with Christ, as the head of the Church, and heir of all things, and although they are put into the possession of some of the all things to which they are heirs,—and their spirits, or consciences, can witness the fact—yet there are sad seasons, when we are permitted to doubt it ourselves, and in which this may be disputed by Satan.  We have indeed much to accuse ourselves of.  Sin has a voice against us—natural conscience has a voice, and is always finding fault, and the devil is sure to accuse us right or wrong; and declare we have no part in David, nor no inheritance in the Son of Jesse.  Till these accusers are borne down by better witnesses, and where the one fails the other is sure to prove victorious.  The first witness is our spirit, an enlightened conscience—and the second is the holy condescending spirit of truth, the infallible witness.—Good men have called this twofold witness, the common and the uncommon, or the ordinary and extraordinary witness.  The former is at all times in the believer’s heart, and by a ray of divine light, it is given him to discover it.  Conscience can bear witness of the work of God upon the soul, and draw its inference upon a review of the Lord’s dealings with it, as Manoah’s wife did.  If the Lord had been pleased to have destroyed us, he would not have done this, nor would he have told us such things as he has.  Conscience bears its testimony to the work of God on the soul within, by comparing it p. 265with the word of God without, and this is done by proving that our minds have been opened to receive God’s testimony of Christ; what he is, and what he has done; and this not in a bare rational way, however clear, but that we have so received him, as to believe in him, desire him, call upon him, prize him, trust him, hold communion with him, and most earnestly desire to live to his glory; and as we have received him, so to walk in him, be conformed to his image, and spend a blest eternity with him, to love all that he loves, and to hate all that he hates.  Conscience bears witness of our sincerity in these things.  This is the witness of conscience, and it is a mercy to hear it speak amidst the host of witnesses against us.  Satan’s accusation, as in the case of Job before God, accusing him of hypocrisy, although God had declared he was the most sincere character in the world—and in the business of Joshua, the high priest, satan stood at his right hand to resist him, as it had long before been predicted of Judas.  “Set thou a wicked man over him, and let satan stand at his right hand.”  The world is also waiting to accuse, longing for every opportunity to ridicule the religion of the Son of God.  Mere professors are all upon the watch, and even preachers, who are inimical to truth.  “My mother’s children were angry with me—not my father’s, but my mother’s, children—all my familiars watched for my halting, they said peradventure he will be enticed, and we shall prevail against him.  The watchmen found me, they smote me, they wounded me, they took away my veil from p. 266me.”  Natural conscience legally biassed, and external appearances in the dispensations of Providence leads us on till we exclaim in the passionate language of Jacob, “All these things are against me.”  Falling amongst thieves, we are stripped and wounded, and left half dead; or to keep up the metaphor, these witnesses would swear us out of our eternal life.  But blessed be God, conscience can witness to the sincerity of our souls, the reality of our faith that it is unfeigned, the goodness of our hope that it is founded upon the person and work of Christ; that our love to God, and all that is dear to him is without dissimulation, and the desires of our souls are to Christ and the glory of his name.  Yet, alas! what sad seasons of darkness, doubts and fears come on till these clouds which come betwixt, are dispersed by some precious manifestation of love; the holy spirit creating in the mind some very precious exalted views of Christ, clear apprehensions of the love of God, his secret purposes, and decrees the glorious covenant of redemption, the gracious transactions of each adorable person in the Trinity, respecting the salvation of the church; the truth as it is in Christ producing holy meltings of soul, and filling it with all joy and peace in believing; sometimes cloathing the word with such power as fills the mind with extacy; suddenly visiting the soul with light, life and love, and indulging us with sweet sensible communion with Father, Son and Spirit: this is an infallible witness.  These things form no part of the salvation which is in Christ; yet they are very valuable tokens of God’s high approbation of us in p. 267Christ: these should be coveted by us—prayed for, that our joy might be full.  This is a spiritual baptism indeed, of which water baptism is an outward and visible sign; this is being immersed in the spirit, and filled with the spirit; and those who have not yet attained should tarry in Jerusalem till they be endued with this power from on high.  Peter calls it rejoicing with joy unspeakable, and full of glory; and although many of the Old Testament saints had glorious manifestations, yet this spiritual baptism is more clearly revealed, and is peculiar to the New Testament dispensation.  If my reader complains he has not yet arrived at these things, nor been thus favoured with such extraordinary witness of the spirit, it is still our mercy to rejoice the holy spirit has began the good work in our hearts, and as that is made manifest, it is the witness of the spirit to us that we belong to God; and while his gracious power is afforded to conscience, it is the Spirit with our spirit, bearing testimony that we are his people, heirs of God, and joint heirs with Christ; for as many as are led by the spirit of God, they are the sons of God.  The Lord be pleased to bless the reading of this simple statement of this important work to your heart, that you may rejoice in Christ, worship God the Spirit, be favoured with clearer views of the Father’s love, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.  This witness of the spirit is the Lord’s secret with the righteous; it is the deep mystery of faith, it is a path that no foot knoweth, and that the vulture’s eye hath not seen; it is one of the mysteries the Saviour p. 268gives his disciples to know, and which is hidden from the wise and prudent (in their own esteem).  This work is a mystery at times, even to the real possessor; in fact, all he is, all he knows, all he feels, and all he meets with is very mysterious to him; he is a complete paradox to himself and all others—he is a riddle.  This reminds me of what the excellent Erskine says in his “Gospel Sonnets,” to which I must refer you, but cannot pass by a few verses without transcribing them from his riddle.

To works, but not to working dead,
From sin, but not from sinning freed;
I clear myself from no offence,
Yet wash my hands in innocence;
I’m still at ease, and still opprest,
Have constant troubles, constant rest,
Both clear and cloudy, free and bound,
Both dead and living, lost and found.
My inward foes, that me alarm,
Breed me much hurt, yet little harm;
I get no good by them, yet see,
To my chief good they make me flee;
I’m innocent, yet guilty still,
I sin against, and with my will.
Though fain I’d be the greatest saint,
To be the least I’d be content;
Down like a stone I sink and dive,
Yet daily upward soar and thrive;
To heaven I fly, to earth I tend,
Still better grow, yet never mend;
Mine enemies that seek my hurt,
Of all their bad designs come short;
p. 269They serve me duly to my mind,
With favours that they ne’er design’d:
The fury of my foes makes me,
Fast to my peaceful refuge flee,
And every persecuting elf,
Does make me understand myself;
Their slanders cannot work my shame,
Their vile reproaches raise my name:
In peace with heaven, my soul can dwell,
E’en when they damn me down to hell.

I could quote a great deal more, but must request you to read the work itself and you will find a scriptural description of the mystery of the saint’s life, warfare and state; and while you are at times perplexed about yourself, may you be led to enjoy the clear witness of the Holy Spirit in your soul, this will comfort you in life, cheer you in death, and let this be our daily prayer.

Witness in us, by us, for us,
   With thine agency divine,
Nor in that great day deny us,
   When the saints in glory shine;
Then bear witness
   Of our souls, that they are thine.—Amen.

Yours, J. C.

p. 270Thus I have compiled with the request of those who so earnestly solicited a brief account of my life to the fortieth year.  In a second edition I shall see great reasons for omitting some things which I have inserted, and introducing others of greater importance; also of correcting the errors of this little work, in the hasty printing of it. [270]  I have been obliged to be thus brief, owing to a variety of circumstances.  If I am spared I shall add a third part to this work: at present, reader, whether friend or foe, I bid you farewell, praying that we may experience more grace in the heart, more knowledge in the understanding, and more love to the Friend of sinners; that we may live more devotedly to his glory; being redeemed from the hands of them which hate us, we may serve him in holiness and righteousness all the days of our lives.—Amen.

END OF THE SECOND PART.

R. Weston, Printer, Crosby Row, Southwark.

FOOTNOTES.

[17]  I beg leave to remark, the appearance of spirits in this lower world has been the subject of much controversy.  Some believe it, others do not.  Some ask the question, how can a spirit be seen?  I ask another question, how were angels seen by the people of God in old times?—Read Job, iv. 12 to 18, and doubt the subject if you can.  I refer you to Dr. Watts on Separate Spirits, and the great Ambrose on the Ministration of Angels.

[33]  I should not have related this simple tale, but for a reason which you will find in the Second Part of my History, of the dealings of God with my soul in spiritual experience.

[51]  An account of the present state of this school will be given in a subsequent number.

[86]  Of an external nature, but the blind pharisees who wrote them forget their own hearts; I beg such to read Matthew xv. from 1st to 20th verse.

[90]  Not sacrament money, as hundreds know I have nothing to do with that; though my accuser has, as I am informed.

[91]  With a motley group of —.

[106]  See Poem on Spiritual Birth, by Mr. Huntington.

[110]  In the printed book this page is numbered 112, but is on the back of page 109, so the page number has been corrected in this transcription.—DP.

[114]  Numbers, xxii, 29.

[117]  Of Moses—Acts, xxi 20, to the end.

[124]  And, of course, illegally.

[127]  History of Little Faith.

[128]  This reminds as of “Non mi ricordo!”

[164]  I am well pleased to see an exposure of some of the errors in the “Whole Duty of Man,” inserted in the “Gospel Magazine,” vol. 8, new series; a book, the writer remarks, that has gone through more impressions than any other work, the Bible and Common Prayer excepted—The “Whole Duty of Man,” “New Week’s Preparation,” “Companion to the Altar,” &c. are books forming no part of my small library: for of such books and their admirers, it may be truly said—“They are blind leaders of the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.”  For, as Mr. Huntington solemnly remarks—“If he is cursed of God, that causeth the blind to wander out of the way, to what a curse must that man be entitled, that gives him his hand to lead him into the ditch.”  The author of that miserable performance says, of parents’ duty to children “a duty that belongs to their souls, is their bringing them to the sacrament of baptism, whereby to procure them early right to all those precious advantages which that sacrament conveys to them.”  This is a duty the parents ought not to delay, it being most reasonable that they who have been instruments to convey the stain and pollution of sin to the poor infant, should be very earnest and industrious to have it washed off as soon as may be.  Yea, Mr. John Wesley says—“that he lost all the grace that was given to him in his baptism, by then he was ten years old.”  And who can doubt it?  On the Lord’s Supper, the above author says—“When thou art about to receive the consecrated bread and wine, remember that God now offers to seal to thee that new covenant made with mankind, in his Son; but then remember that this is all upon condition that thou performest thy part of the new covenant.”  On alms-giving it is stated, “that the motive is to be the hope of that eternal reward promised to this performance—to gain a title to endless felicities, and to be sure to make this our sole aim.”  On the mercy of the gift of Christ to man, we have a curious account.  Speaking of the Son of God, “who came to make known to us the whole will of the Father, in the performance of which we shall be sure to be accepted and rewarded by him.”  Reader, what mercy to be better taught!

[169]  One quotation more from the old “Whole Duty of Man.”  That blind author tells us, “Christ came to enable, or give us strength to do what God requires of us; this he doth by taking off from the hardness of the law given to Adam (which was never to commit the least sin, on pain of damnation) and requiring of us only an honest and hearty endeavour to do what we are able, and where we fail, to accept of sincere repentance.”

How directly contrary to the gospel method of salvation, as laid down in the Holy Scriptures, and clearly stated in the Prayer Book of the Church of England, is the above statement of the grand errand of Christ?  “From all blindness of heart, from all false doctrine, and contempt of thy Word—Good Lord deliver us.”

[200]  The printer lost count of the letter numbering here and this and the following are all out but as in the book.—DP.

[229]  Mr. Toplady.

[239]  He that listens, the listener.

[270]  In the book this page is clearly numbered 297, and has page 269 on the reverse.  It has therefore been renumbered to 270 in this transcription.—DP.

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