*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45274 *** YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS By Anonymous [Illustration: 0007] [Illustration: 0009] YE BOOK OF COPPERHEADS "_ Continue this united League."--Richard the Third, III. 1_. `|There once was a Copperhead snake tried to Bite Uncle Sam by mistake; ```But the Seven League Boot on old Uncle Sam's foot ````Soon crushed this pestiferous snake. [Illustration: 0010] |A soldier came back from the war, with many an honorable scar; ```But the Copperheads cried, "Served you right if you'd died ````In this curst _Abolitionist_ war!" [Illustration: 0011] |The old Tory dragon is dead, but she left us some eggs in her stead; ``Two were smashed in the yolk, but the third hatched and broke, ```And out came a vile Copperhead. [Illustration: 0012] |There was once a young giant asleep, and round him two serpents did creep; ```But he stopped their vile breath, and squeezed them to death, ````This giant aroused from his sleep. [Illustration: 0013] |There once was a Copperhead vile, who attempted to damage a ```So he tried it in truth, but soon broke every tooth ````On that rusty and crusty Old File. [Illustration: 0014] "_Nor doth this Wood lack Worlds."--Midsummer Night's Dream, II. 2._ |There was an old Snake in New York said for peace all the people should work; ``"But if war _must_ come, let us fight here _at home!!_" ```Quoth sanguiloquent Ben of New York. [Illustration: 0015] _"One of those who worship dirty gods."--Cymbeline, III. 8._ |There once was a chap named Vallandigham, whom the Copperheads chose for commanding 'em; ```But a trip to the South soon silenced his mouth, ````And the world as a _Tory_ is branding him. [Illustration: 0016] |With War Democrats Seymour's for war; with Peace cowards for peace he'll hurrah; ```Let him get in the way of the mower some day, ````And He'll find there's no quibbling with war. [Illustration: 0017] |The Copperhead lotterie hath a curious policie; ``For a man of low rank can draw naught save a blank, ````Unless an accomplice he be. [Illustration: 0018] |There once was a twistified Reed who took for his pattern Snake-Weed; ```Till the Copperheads all, great, middling, and small ````Seemed _straight_ by the side of this Reed. [Illustration: 0019] |There's a character very well known, Who bubbles for ages has blown; ```But the best he has made since at _bubbling_ he played, ````From a Copperhead pipe have been thrown. [Illustration: 0020] ````_"And what Stock he springs of!!"--Coriolan, II. 3._ |Copper stocks are uncertain to buy, though this Copperhead's stock's very high; ```But we still might improve this stock of his love, ````By adding the _right_ sort of tie. [Illustration: 0021] |There was an old War Horse, a clerical, who thought our Republic chimerical; ```"For the Union," he said, "he never had prayed," ````This mordacious old War Horse cholerical. [Illustration: 0022] ```_" There is no goodness in the worm,"--Antony and Cleopatra, V. 2._ |The abominable Copperhead worms! With their wriggles, and twists, and their squirms! ```But the gardener, they say, will soon find out a way ````To kill the vile Copperhead worms. [Illustration: 0023] ```_"There are many complaints, Davy, about that."--King Henry IV., V. 1._ |There was a Stern Statesman astute, who so often went in to _recruit_, ```That a Rattlesnake fat revolved in his hat, ````While a Copperhead squirmed in his boot. [Illustration: 0024] ```_"So much dishonor my fair stars."--King Richard 111., IV. 1._ |The traitor our Common Cents mars, And on Liberty plainly he wars, ```Taking Freedom away from the Union, I say, ````When he cuts out her head from the stars. [Illustration: 0025] _"And so the lion vanished."--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._ |While it did us great harm, Abolition was the height of the Lion's ambition; ```Now with Copperhead _tale_ he stings himself pale. ````And furaciously scorns Abolition. [Illustration: 0026] ```_"Will this Wood take fire?"--Merry Wives of Windsor, V. 5._ |Union, a fagot we take; But 'twould be a tremendous mistake, ```To use rotten old Wood which never was good, ````And then bind it up with a Snake. [Illustration: 0027] |There once was a Patriot whose rigor reached such a remarkable figure, ```That he'd rather go down in the water and drown ````Than be saved by the help of a nigger. [Illustration: 0028] |There once were some rascals near Reading thought fighting was easy as wedding; ```But being well kicked, and most terribly licked, ````They mournfully mizzled from Reading. [Illustration: 0029] _"O wicked Wall!"--Midsummer Night's Dream, V. 1._ |There once was an old _party_-Wall, quite _cracked_ and just ready to fall; ```The Copperheads came and completed its shame ````By sticking their Bills on this Wall. [Illustration: 0030] |There once was a bottle of Porter, which the Copperheads thought was all water; ```But when the cork popped, the Copperheads dropped, ````And were stunned by the _vim_ of the Porter! [Illustration: 0031] |There once was a Snake who said "Hey! There's an Eagle I'll take for my prey!" ```But the bird with his bill did the Copperhead kill, ````And bore him in triumph away. [Illustration: 0032] ```_"Exit shall be strangling a snake."--Love's Labor's Lost, V. 1._ |The Copperhead traitors all, our army "base hirelings" call ```But some fine summer day The "boys," just for play, ````Will settle the Copperheads all. Amen! GOTHAM-MITES. |I like such Brooks," said Falstaff once; ``Had he meant _ours_ he'd been a dunce; `The devil, whom all things evil please, ``Could never stand such Bruoks as these.= `In the Tyrol on mountain high ``"The Devil's Marble" you may spy; `And if in the World you long remain, ``You'll probably meet the same again.= `Och, Johnny, my gun--let the truth be aid, ``What the divil made _ye_ turn Copperhid? `Sure it was hivvy what ye bore, ``Wid the brass in your face yees had before.= `There's a song how Old Nick took a journey, ``With a corporation attorney; `But there is one _fouler_, whom even the old prowler ``Would fear as a friend on a journey.= 1. `"The man who made that order," said ``Judge B. in court, "was a _meat-head_." `Oh what a head that head would be, ``Just _meted_ Judge, to match with thee!= 2. `"Just roll that nigger out of court!" ``The Judge exclaimed with solemn port; `"I tell you very truly now, ``Nigs _at the bar_ I won't allow!"= `At a Copperhead meeting the crier ``Paused an instant to hear his gun fire; `The cannon was loaded, and when it exploded, ``Said he--"List to the voice of our sire!"= ``There was old party named M------, ``Who went from bad doctrines to worse. `If at law he should see his name prefaced by _re,_ ``It will show what he _should_ feel; this M------.= ```There was a small Cozening shyster; ``Said he, "Every case is an _eyester;_ `Give the parties the shells if you can, and nought else, ``Unless the Court tips you a hi-ster."= ``There's a man at the _Bar_ who, we know, ``Is in politics terribly _low_; `For he keeps in the clubs the secessional cubs, ``Who in _propria persona_ can't go.= ``There's a very bad-minis-trator, ``A_ très petite pomme de tater_, `Who tears feelings to rags, presenting of flags; ``This oily old adminis-_traitor_.= ``There's a wide-awake Copperhead cratur', ``Who is Eli by name and by natur'; `Displaying for one neither fashion _nor ton_, ``This un-national nativist traitor.= CHECKER-BOARDERS AND KEYSTONERS |There was an old person, J. B., ``An old Public Func-tion-arie; [agreed, `When they swore, "We'll secede!" he just smiled, "I'm ``"You've a sure friend, you know, in J. B.= ``There was a smart lawyer named W------ ``Who from Union men made quite a fortun'; `But his wealth he despised, with Secesh fraternized, ``This apo-state-olical W------.= ``There was a twistortulous Heed, ``Who hoped that Secesh might succeed; `For he said, "It's my natur' to act like a traitor, ``Since it runs in the joints of a Heed."= ``There once was a Copperhead Diddle, ``Who played to the Heed second fiddle; `When they said, "It is small!" it replied, not at all, `Says he, "I ain't dead--as a live Copperhead ``I'm a squirmulous vermiform Wriggler."= ``There was an old servant called Peter, ``So moody in humor and feature `Because the good people from the church with a steeple ``Expelled this old saturnine Peter.= ``There was a sharp lawyer, one P-, ``Whose thoughts never got through his still lips; `And all he would say was "ah!" "h'm!" "oh!" and "ay ``This pauciloquent person named P-.= ``There was a neat sarpent--a Coiler-- ``True son of the ancient Beguiler; `Who told such a whopper, he burst out his copper, ``And frightfully fractured his biler.= `It's a full-blooded Copperhead Diddle!"= `There was an ex-governing Wiggler, `A political huckster and higgler; ``Quoth "Aristocracy" ``To Fourth Ward "Vulgarity," `"You are dregs, I am froth; and our interests both ``Are opposed to this working, d'ye see!"= MODERN HEATHEN-IANS ``There was an ex-editor, L------, ``Who rowed in the _Courier_ punt, `But to twist around more, he jumped out on the shore, ``That contortious poetical L------.= ``Oh G------ T------ C------ was one ``Who thought himself quite a great gun; `So Treason he shouted, "Constitution" he spouted, ``But Boston grew hot for such "Union Men"--so ``He herds in New York with Fernando & Co.= ``To the cause of his country adverse, ``Is the man whom all honest men curse. `Do you ask what's his name? oh, ne'er believe Fame, ``If it be not Ex-President Pierce.= ``In Eighteen Hundred and Fifty-Six, ``A poet, disgusted with Pierce's tricks, ``Said that he down to the dust should go, ``To grovel there in infamy low. ``And in Eighteen Hundred and Sixty-Three, ``The prophecy came to pass, I see, ``Since in the dust and on the ground, ``As a Copperhead Pierce goes squirming round".= ``What a pity that Joshua D. ``A good Insolvency lawyer should be, ``Yet cannot, in politics, as we see, ``Keep his own good name from bankruptcie!= ``John C. passes, now and then, ``For one of Boston's League-al men. ``Mistake me not--he doth intrigue ``With the Liquor--not the Union--League!= ``Gamblers, Wood-ites, thieves, and asses, ``Scrapings of the dangerous classes, ``Pettifoggers malign, but weak, ``Who dare not fight and cannot speak; ``_Trash_ which the war-tide rolling high ``Has cast ashore in scorn to dry; ``"Aristocrats" who fear to wage ``Brave battle in a stirring age, ``As did their glorious sires before, ``Who won thereby the fame they wore; ``Oh G. S. H--------, tell us true. ``Is this fit company for you?= SHAKSPEARE ON THE COPPERHEADS. ```"What would you have, you curs, `That like nor peace nor war? The one affrights you, `The other makes you proud. He that trusts to you, `Where he should find you lions, finds you hares; `Where foxes, geese; you are no surer, no, `Than is the coal of fire upon the ice, `Or hailstone in the sun. Your virtue is, `To make him worthy whose offence subdues him, `And curse that justice did it. Who deserves greatness `Deserves your hate; and your affections are `A sick man's appetite, who desires most that `Which would increase his evil. He that depends `Upon your favors swims with fins of lead, `And hews down oaks with rushes."--_Coriolanus, I. 1._ "THOSE DEVOTED COPPERHEADS." `"Our sympathies are all confined at home; yet it is just `possible we may help those devoted Copperheads in the only `way we know how--also, that they, on their side, are now `about ripe to aid us in the only way we could accept their `aid. If our troops should this summer appear within their `borders anywhere between Cairo and Philadelphia, they would `be hailed as friends by a population pretty well cured now of `_Pluribus Unum_. Their cry would be, not Union, but deli- `verance. _Wait then, and watch, and keep your lights burning, `ye Knights of the Golden Circle!"--Richmond Enquirer_, 18th `May, 1863. End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ye Book of Copperheads, by Anonymous *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 45274 ***