The Project Gutenberg EBook of Works Of George W. Peck, by George W. Peck This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org Title: Works Of George W. Peck A Linked Index to the Project Gutenberg Editions of The "Bad Boy" Series and Others Author: George W. Peck Editor: David Widger Release Date: May 25, 2009 [EBook #28970] Language: English Character set encoding: ASCII *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WORKS OF GEORGE W. PECK *** Produced by David Widger WORKS OF GEORGE W. PECK The "Bad Boy" Series and Others AN INDEX Edited by David Widger Project Gutenberg Editions CONTENTS ## Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa (v.1) ## Grocery Man and Peck's Bad Boy (v.2) ## Peck's Bad Boy Abroad ## Peck's Uncle Ike and Red Headed Boy ## Peck's Sunshine ## Private George W. Peck VOLUMES, CHAPTERS AND STORIES Peck's Bad Boy and His Pa (v.1) A CARD FROM THE AUTHOR. DETAILED CONTENTS. PECK'S BAD BOY. CHAPTER I. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER X. CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVII. CHAPTER XXVIII. CHAPTER XXIX. CHAPTER XXX. CHAPTER XXXI. CHAPTER XXXII. CHAPTER XXXIII. CHAPTER XXXIV. CHAPTER XXXV. CHAPTER XXXVI. List of Illustrations Cover Frontispiece Titlepage They Danced the Can-Can Air Was Filled With Dog, and Pa, And Rockets Stoper, Says Pa, I've Got a Whale Ma Appears on the Scene Pa on the Run The Bad Boy and his Girl Helen Damnation The Gun Just Rared up Then Everything Was Ready Hell's-fire, What You Boys Doin In the Wrong Room A New Way to Take Seidlitz Powders Too Late, Pa, I Die at the Hand of an Assassin Just As I Am Special Providences for a Bad Boy Pa Grabbed Her by the Polonaise Happy New Year Mum Pa's Fire Escape DETAILED CONTENTS: CHAPTER I. CHAPTER I. THE BOY WITH A LAME BACK--THE BOY COULDN'T SIT DOWN--A PRACTICAL JOKE ON THE OLD MAN--A LETTER FROM "DAISY "--GUARDING THE FOUR CORNERS--THE OLD MAN IS UNUSUALLY GENEROUS--MA ASKS AWKWARD QUESTIONS--THE BOY TALKED TO WITH A BED SLAT--NO ENCOURAGEMENT FOR A BOY CHAPTER II. CHAPTER II. THE BOY AT WORK AGAIN--THE BEST BOYS FULL OF TRICKS--THE OLD MAN LAYS DOWN THE LAW ABOUT JOKES--RUBBER HOSE MACARONI--THE OLD MAS's STRUGGLES--CHEWING VIGOROUSLY BUT IN VAIN--AN INQUEST HELD--REVELRY BY NIGHT--MUSIC IN THE WOODSHED--"'twas ever thus." CHAPTER III. CHAPTER III. THE BAD BOY GIVES HIS PA AWAY--PA IS A HARD CITIZEN--DRINKING SOZODONT--MAKING UP THE SPARE BED--THE MIDNIGHT WAR DANCE--AN APPOINTMENT BY THE COAL-BIN. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER IV. THE BAD BOY'S FOURTH OF JULY.--PA IS A POINTER, NOT A SETTER--SPECIAL ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY--A GRAND SUPPLY OF FIREWORKS--THE EXPLOSION--THE AIR FULL OF PA AND DOG AND ROCKETS--THE NEW HELL--A SCENE THAT BEGGARS DESCRIPTION. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER V. THE BAD BOY'S MA COMES HOME.--DEVILTRY, ONLY A LITTLE FUN--THE BAD BOY'S CHUM--A LADY'S WARDROBE IN THE OLD MAN'S ROOM--MA's UNEXPECTED ARRIVAL--WHERE IS THE HUZZY?--DAMFINO!--THE BAD BOY WANTS TO TRAVEL WITH A CIRCUS CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VI. HIS PA IS A DARN COWARD--HIS PA HAS BEEN A MAJOR--HOW HE WOULD DEAL WITH BURGLARS--HIS BRAVERY PUT TO THE TEST--THE ICE REVOLVER--HIS PA BEGINS TO PRAY--TELLS WHERE THE CHANGE IS--"PLEASE MR. BURGLAR SPARE A POOR MAN'S LIFE!"--MA WAKES UP--THE BAD BOY AND HIS CHUM RUN--FISH-POLE SAUCE--MA WOULD MAKE A GOOD CHIEF OF POLICE CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VII. HIS PA GETS A BITE.--"HIS PA GETS TOO MUCH WATER"--THE DOCTOR'S DISAGREE--HOW TO SPOIL BOYS--HIS PA GOES TO PEWAUKEE IN SEARCH OF HIS SON--ANXIOUS TO FISH--"STOPER, I'VE GOT A WHALE!"--OVERBOARD--HIS PA IS SAVED--A DOLLAR FOR HIS PANTS. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER VIII. HE IS TOO HEALTHY--AN EMPTY CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE AND A BLACK EYE--HE IS ARRESTED--OCONOMOWOC FOR HEALTH--HIS PA. IS AN OLD MASHER--DANCED TILL THE COWS CAME HOME--THE GIRL FROM THE SUNNY SOUTH--THE BAD BOY IS SENT HOME CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER IX. HIS PA HAS GOT 'EM AGAIN.--HIS PA IS DRINKING HARD--HE HAS BECOME A TERROR--A JUMPING DOG----THE OLD MAN IS SHAMEFULLY ASSAULTED--"THIS IS A HELLISH CLIMATE MY BOY!"--HIS PA SWEARS OFF--HIS MA STILL SNEEZING AT LAKE SUPERIOR CHAPTER X. CHAPTER X. HIS PA HAS GOT RELIGION--THE BAD BOY GOES TO SUNDAY SCHOOL--PROMISES REFORMATION--THE OLD MAN ON TRIAL FOR SIX MONTHS--WHAT MA THINKS--ANTS IN PA'S LIVER-PAD--THE OLD MAN IN CHURCH--RELIGION IS ONE THING, ANTS ANOTHER CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XI. HIS PA TAKES A TRICK--JAMAICA RUM AND CARDS--THE BAD BOY POSSESSED OF A DEVIL--THE KIND DEACON--AT PRAYER-MEETING--THE OLD MAN TELLS HIS EXPERIENCE--THE FLYING CARDS--THE PRAYER-MEETING SUDDENLY CLOSED CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XII. HIS PA GETS PULLED--THE OLD MAN STUDIES THE BIBLE--DANIEL IN THE LIONS' DEN--THE MULE AND THE MULE'S FATHER--MURDER IN THE THIRD WARD--THE OLD MAN ARRESTED--THE OLD MAN FANS THE DUST OUT OF HIS SON'S PANTS CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIII. HIS PA GOES TO THE EXPOSITION--THE BAD BOY ACTS AS GUIDE--THE CIRCUS STORY--THE OLD MAN WANTS TO SIT DOWN--TRIES TO EAT PANCAKES--DRINKS SOME MINERAL WATER--THE OLD MAN FALLS IN LOVE WITH A WAX WOMAN--A POLICEMAN INTERFERES--THE LIGHTS GO OUT--THE GROCERY MAN DON'T WANT A CLERK CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XIV. HIS PA CATCHES ON--TWO DAYS AND NIGHTS IN THE BATHROOM--RELIGION CAKES THE OLD MAN'S BREAST--THE BAD BOY'S CHUM DRESSED UP AS A GIRL--THE OLD MAN DELUDED--THE COUPLE START FOR THE COURT HOUSE PARK--HIS MA APPEARS ON THE SCENE--"IF YOU LOVE ME, KISS ME?"--MA TO THE RESCUE--"I AM DEAD AM I?"--HIS PA THROWS A CHAIR THROUGH THE TRANSOM CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XV. HIS PA AT THE RE-UNION--THE OLD MAN IN MILITARY SPLENDOR--TELLS HOW HE MOWED DOWN THE REBELS--"I AND GRANT"--WHAT IS A SUTLER.--TEN DOLLARS FOR PICKLES!--"LET US HANG HIM!"--THE OLD MAN ON THE RUN--HE STANDS UP TO SUPPER--THE BAD BOY IS TO DIE AT SUNSET CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVI. THE BAD BOY IN LOVE--ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN?--NO GETTING TO HEAVEN ON SMALL POTATOES--THE BAD BOY HAS TO CHEW COBS--MA SAYS IT'S GOOD FOR A BOY TO BE IN LOVE--LOVE WEAKENS THE BAD BOY--HOW MUCH DOES IT COST TO GET MARRIED?--MAD DOG--NEVER EAT ICE CREAM CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVII. HIS PA FIGHTS HORNETS--THE OLD MAN LOOKS BAD--THE WOODS OF WAUWATOSA--THE OLD MAN TAKES A NAP--"HELEN DAMNATION!"--"HELL IS OUT FOR NOON."--THE LIVER MEDICINE--ITS WONDERFUL EFFECTS--THE BAD BOY IS DRUNK--GIVE ME A LEMON!--A SIGHT OF THE COMET!--THE HIRED GIRL'S RELIGION CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XVIII. HIS PA GOES HUNTING--MUTILATED JAW--THE OLD MAN HAS TAKEN TO SWEARING AGAIN--OUT WEST, DUCK SHOOTING---HIS COAT TAIL SHOT OFF--SHOOTS AT A WILD GOOSE--THE GUN KICKS!--THROWS A CHAIR AT HIS SON--THE ASTONISHED SHE-DEACON CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XIX. HIS PA IS "NISHIATED"--ARE YOU A MASON?--NO HARM TO PLAY AT LODGE--WHY GOATS ARE KEPT IN STABLES--THE BAD BOY GETS THE GOAT UPSTAIRS--THE GRAND DUMPER DEGREE--KYAN PEPPER ON THE GOAT'S BEARD--"BRING FORTH THE ROYAL BUMPER"--THE GOAT ON THE RAMPAGE CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XX. HIS GIRL GOES BACK ON HIM. THE GROCERY MAN IS AFRAID--BUT THE BAD BOY IS A WRECK--"MY GIRL, HAS SHOOK ME!"--THE BAD BOY'S HEART IS BROKEN--STILL HE ENJOYS A BIT OF FUN--COD LIVER OIL ON THE PANCAKES--THE HIRED GIRLS MADE VICTIMS--THE BAD BOY VOWS VENGEANCE ON HIS GIRL AND THE TELEGRAPH MESSENGER CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXI. HE AND HIS PA IN CHICAGO--NOTHING LIKE TRAVELING TO GIVE TONE--LAUGHING IN THE WRONG PLACE--A DIABOLICAL PLOT---HIS PA ARRESTED AS A KIDNAPPER---THE NUMBERS ON THE DOORS CHANGED--THE WRONG ROOM--"NOTHIN' THE MAZZER WITH ME, PET!"--THE TELL-TALE HAT CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXII. HIS PA IS DISCOURAGED--"I AIN'T NO JONER!"--THE STORY OF THE ANCIENT PROPHET--THE SUNDAY SCHOOL FOLKS GO BACK ON THE BAD BOY:--CAGED CATS--A COMMITTEE MEETING--A REMARKABLE CATASTROPHE!--"THAT BOY BEATS HELL!"--BASTING THE BAD BOY--THE HOT WATER IN THE SPONGE TRICK CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIII. HE BECOMES A DRUGGIST--"I HAVE GONE INTO BUSINESS!"---A NEW ROSE-GERANIUM PERFUME---THE BAD BOY IN A DRUGGIST'S STORE--PRACTICING ON HIS PA--THE EXPLOSION--THE SEIDLETZ POWDER--HIS PA'S FREQUENT PAINS--POUNDING INDIA-RUBBER--CURING A WART CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXIV. HE QUITS THE DRUG BUSINESS. HE HAS DISSOLVED WITH THE DRUGGER--THE OLD LADY AND THE GIN--THE BAD BOY IGNOMINIOUSLY FIRED--HOW HE DOSED HIS PA'S BRANDY--THE BAD BOY AS "HAWTY AS A DOOK!"--HE GETS EVEN WITH HIS GIRL---THE BAD BOY WANTS A QUIET PLACE--THE OLD MAN THREATENS THE PARSON CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXV. HIS PA KILLS HIM--A GENIUS AT WHISTLING--A FUR-LINED CLOAK A CURE CURE FOR CONSUMPTION--ANOTHER LETTER SENT TO THE OLD MAN--HE RESOLVES ON IMMEDIATE PUNISHMENT--THE BLADDER-BUFFER--THE EXPLOSION--A TRAGIC SCENE--HIS PA VOWS TO REFORM CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVI. HIS PA MORTIFIED--SEARCHING FOR SEWER GAS--THE POWERFUL ODOR OF LIMBURGER CHEESE AT CHURCH--THE AFTER MEETING--FUMIGATING THE HOUSE--THE BAD BOY RESOLVES TO BOARD AT AN HOTEL. CHAPTER XXVII. CHAPTER XXVII. HIS PA BROKE UP--THE BAD BOY DON'T THINK THE GROCER FIT FOR HEAVEN--HE IS VERY SEVERE ON HIS OLD FRIEND--THE NEED OF A NEW REVISED EDITION--THE BAD BOY TURNS REVISER--HIS PA REACHES FOR THE POKER--A SPECIAL PROVIDENCE--THE SLED SLEWED!--HIS PA UNDER THE MULES CHAPTER XXVIII. CHAPTER XXVIII. HIS PA GOES SKATING--THE BAD BOY CARVES A TURKEY--HIS PA'S FAME AS A SKATER--THE OLD MAN ESSAYS TO SKATE ON ROLLERS--HIS WILD CAPERS--HE SPREADS HIMSELF---HOLIDAYS A CONDEMNED NUISANCER--THE BAD BOY'S CHRISTMAS PRESENTS CHAPTER XXIX. CHAPTER XXIX. HIS PA GOES CALLING--HIS PA STARTS FORTH--A PICTURE OF THE OLD MAN "FULL"--POLITENESS AT A WINTER PICNIC--ASSAULTED BY SANDBAGGERS--RESOLVED TO DRINK NO MORE COFFEE--A GIRL FULL OF "AIG NOGG" CHAPTER XXX. CHAPTER XXX. HIS PA DISSECTED--THE MISERIES OF THE MUMPS--NO PICKLES, THANK YOU--ONE MORE EFFORT To REFORM THE OLD MAN--THE BAD BOY PLAYS MEDICAL STUDENT--PROCEEDS TO DISSECT HIS PA--"GENTLEMEN, I AM NOT DEAD!"--SAVED FROM THE SCALPEL--"NO MORE WHISKY FOR YOU." CHAPTER XXXI. CHAPTER XXXI. HIS PA JOINS A TEMPERANCE SOCIETY--THE GROCERY MAN SYMPATHISES WITH THE OLD MAN--WARNS THE BAD BOY THAT HE MAY HAVE A STEP-FATHER!--THE BAD BOY SCORNS THE IDEA--INTRODUCES HIS PA TO THE GRAND "WORTHY DUKE!"--THE SOLEMN OATH--THE BRAND PLUCKED FROM THE BURNING CHAPTER XXXII. CHAPTER XXXII. HIS PA'S MARVELOUS ESCAPE--THE GROCERY MAN HAS NO VASELINE--THE OLD MAN PROVIDES THREE FIRE ESCAPES--ONE OF THE ESCAPES TESTED--HIS PA SCANDALIZES THE CHURCH--"SHE'S A DARLING!"--WORLDLY MUSIC IN THE COURTS OF ZION CHAPTER XXXIII. CHAPTER XXXIII. HIS PA JOKES HIM--THE BAD BOY CAUGHT AT LAST--HOW TO GROW A MOUSTACHE--TAR AND CAYENNE PEPPER--THE GROCERY MAN'S FATE IS SEALED--FATHER AND SON JOIN IN A PRACTICAL JOKE--SOFT SOAP ON THE STEPS--DOWNFALL OF MINISTERS AND DEACONS--"MA TO THE RESCUE!"--THE BAD BOY GETS EVEN WITH HIS PA CHAPTER XXXIV. CHAPTER XXXIV. HIS PA GETS MAD--A ROOM IN COURT-PLASTER--THE BAD BOY DECLINES BEING MAULED!--THE OLD MAN GETS A HOT BOX--THE BAD BOY BORROWS A CAT!--THE BATTLE!--"HELEN BLAZES!"--THE CAT VICTORIOUS!--THE BAD BOY DRAWS THE LINE AT KINDLING WOOD! CHAPTER XXXV. CHAPTER XXXV. HIS PA AN INVENTOR--THE BAD BOY A MARTYR--THE DOG-COLLAR IN THE SAUSAGE--A PATENT STOVE--THE PATENT TESTED!--HIS PA A BURNT OFFERING--EARLY BREAKFAST! CHAPTER XXXVI. HIS PA GETS BOXED--PARROT FOR SALE--THE OLD MAN IS DOWN ON THE GROCER--"A CONTRITE HEART BEATS A BOB-TAILED FLUSH!"--POLLY'S RESPONSES--CAN A PARROT GO TO HELL?--THE OLD MAN GETS ANOTHER BLACK EYE--DUFFY HITS FOR KEEPS!--NOTHING LIKE AN OYSTER FOR A BLACK EYE Grocery Man and Peck's Bad Boy (v.2) DETAILED CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER X. CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVII. List of Illustrations Cover Frontispiece Titlepage Well I'm Dem'd One for the Old Maid The Old Man Stabbed Maple Syrup for One Great God, Hanner, We Are Blowed Up By Low Baby The Old Man, the Hired Girl and The Goat After the Earthquake Was Over Uncle Tom and Topsy The Minister and Deacons Salted The Sunday School Teachers First Appearance on Stage Pa Was All Tied up Fourth of July Misadventures Hennery, Your Pa is a Mighty Sick Man DETAILED CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. CHAPTER I. VARIEGATED DOGS--THE BAD BOY SLEEPS ON THE ROOF--A MAN DOESN'T KNOW EVERYTHING AT FORTY-EIGHT--THE OLD MAN WANTS SOME POLLYNURIOUS WATER--THE DYER'S DOGS--PROCESSION OF THE DOGS--PINK, BLUE, GREEN AND WHITE--"WELL, I'M DEM'd"--HIS PA DON'T APPRECIATE. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER II. HIS PA PLAYS JOKES--A MAN SHOULDN'T GET MAD AT A JOKE--THE MAGIC BOUQUET--THE GROCERY MAN TAKES A TURN--HIS PA TRIES THE BOUQUET AT CHURCH--ONE FOR THE OLD MAID--A FIGHT ENSUES--THE BAD BOY THREATENS THE GROCERY man--A COMPROMISE. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER III. HIS PA STABBED--THE GROCERY MAN SETS A TRAP IN VAIN--A BOOM IN LINIMENT--HIS PA GOES TO THE LANGTRY SHOW--THE BAD BOY TURNS BURGLAR--THE OLD MAN STABBED--HIS ACCOUNT OF THE FRAY--A GOOD SINGLE HANDED LIAR. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER IV. HIS PA BUSTED--THE CRAZE FOR MINING STOCK--WHAT'S A BILK?--THE PIOUS BILK--THE OLD MAN INVESTS--THE DEACONS AND EVEN THE HIRED GIRLS INVEST--HOT MAPLE SYRUP FOR ONE--GETTING A MAN'S MIND OFF HIS TROUBLES. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER V. HIS PA AND DYNAMITE--THE OLD MAN SELLING SILVER STOCK--FENIAN SCARE--"DYNAMITE" IN MILWAUKEE--THE FENIAN BOOM--"GREAT GOD, MANNER! WE ARE BLOWED UP!"--HIS MA HAS LOTS OF SAND--THE OLD MAN USELESS IN TROUBLE--THE DOG AND THE FALSE TEETH CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VI. HIS PA AN ORANGEMAN--THE GROCERY MAN SHAMEFULLY ABUSED--HE GETS HOT--BUTTER, OLEOMARGARINE AND AXLE GREASE--THE OLD MAN WEARS ORANGE ON ST. PATRICK'S DAY--HE HAS TO RUN FOR HIS LIFE--THE BAD BOY AT SUNDAY SCHOOL--INGERSOLL AND BEECHER VOTED OUT--MARY HAD A LAMB CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VII. HIS MA DECEIVES HIM--THE BAD BOY IN SEARCH OF SAFFRON--"WELL, IT'S A GIRL, IF YOU MUST KNOW"--THE BAD BOY IS GRIEVED AT HIS MA'S DECEPTION-- "SH-H-H TOOTSY GO TO SLEEP"--"BY LOW, BABY"--THAT SETTLED IT WITH THE CAT--A BABY! BAH! IT MAKES ME TIRED CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER VIII. THE BABY AND THE GOAT. THE BAD BOY THINKS HIS SISTER WILL BE A FIRE ENGINE--"OLD NUMBER TWO"--BABY REQUIRES GOAT MILK--? THE GOAT IS FRISKY--TAKES TO EATING ROMAN CANDLES--THE OLD MAN, THE HIRED GIRL, AND THE GOAT--THE BAD BOY BECOMES TELLER IN A LIVERY STABLE CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER IX. A FUNERAL PROCESSION--THE BAD BOY ON CRUTCHES--"YOU OUGHT TO SEE THE MINISTER"--AN ELEVEN DOLLAR FUNERAL--THE MINISTER TAKES THE LINES--AN EARTHQUAKE--AFTER THE EARTHQUAKE WAS OVER--THE POLICEMAN FANS THE MINISTER--A MINISTER SHOULD HAVE SENSE CHAPTER X. CHAPTER X. THE OLD MAN MAKES A SPEECH. THE GROCERY MAN AND THE BAD BOY HAVE A FUSS--THE BOHEMIAN BAND--THE BAD BOY ORGANIZES A SERENADE--"BABY MINE"--THE OLD MAN ELOQUENT--THE BOHEMIANS CREATE A FAMINE--THE Y. M. C. A. ANNOUNCEMENT CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XI. GARDENING UNDER DIFFICULTIES--THE GROCERY MAN IS DECEIVED--THE BAD BOY DON'T LIKE MOVING--GOES INTO THE COLORING BUSINESS--THE OLD MAN THOROUGHLY DISGUSTED--UNCLE TOM AND TOPSY--THE OLD MAN ARRESTED--WHAT THE GROCERY MAN THINKS--THE BAD BOY MORALIZES ON HIS FATE--RESOLVES TO BE GOOD CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XII. THE OLD MAN SHOOTS THE MINISTER--THE BAD BOY TRIES TO LEAD A DIFFERENT LIFE--MURDER IN THE AIR--THE OLD MAN AND HIS FRIENDS GIVE THEMSELVES AWAY--DREADFUL STORIES OF THEIR WICKED YOUTH--THE CHICKEN COOP INVADED--THE OLD MAN TO THE RESCUE--THE MINISTER AND THE DEACONS SALTED CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIII. THE BAD BOY A THOROUGHBRED. THE BAD BOY WITH A BLACK EYE--A POOR FRIENDLESS GIRL EXCITES HIS PITY--PROVES HIMSELF A GALLANT KNIGHT--THE OLD MAN IS CHARMED AT HIS SON'S COURAGE--THE GROCERY MAN MORALIZES--FIFTEEN CHRISTS IN MILWAUKEE--THE TABLES TURNED--THE OLD MAN WEARS THE BOY'S OLD CLOTHES CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XIV. ENTERTAINING Y. M. C. A. DELEGATES--THE BAD BOY MINISTERS AT THE Y. M. C. A. WATER FOUNTAIN--THE DELEGATES FLOOD THEMSELVES WITH SODA WATER--TWO DELEGATES DEALT TO HIS MA--THE NIGHT KEY--THE FALL OF THE FLOWER STAND--DELEGATES IN THE CELLAR ALL NIGHT--THE BAD BOY'S GIRL IS WORKING HIS REFORMATION CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XV. HE TURNS SUPE. THE BAD BOY QUITS JERKING SODA--ENTERS THE DRAMATIC PROFESSION--"WHAT'S A SUPER"--THE PRIVILEGES OF A SUPE'S FATHER--BEHIND THE SCENES--THE BAD BOY HAS PLAYED WITH MC'CULLOUGH--"IWAS THE POPULACE."--PLAYS IT ON HIS SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER--"I PRITHEE, AU RESERVOIR, I GO HENS!" CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVI. UNCLE EZRA PAYS A VISIT. UNCLE EZRA CAUSES THE BAD BOY TO BACKSLIDE--UNCLE EZRA AND THE OLD MAN WERE BAD PILLS--THEIR RECORD IS AWFUL--KEEPING UNCLE EZRA ON THE RAGGED EDGE--THE BED SLATS FIXED--THE OLD MAN TANGLED UP--THIS WORLD IS NOT RUN RIGHT--UNCLE EZRA MAKES HIM TIRED CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVII. HE DISCUSSES THEOLOGY. MEDITATIONS ON NOAH'S ARK--THE GARDEN OF EDEN--THE ANCIENT DUDE--ADAM WITH A PLUG HAT ON--"I'M A THINKER FROM THINKERSVILLE"--THE APOSTLES IN A PATROL WAGON--ELIJAH AND ELISHA--THE PRODIGAL SON--A VEAL POT PIE FOR DINNER CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XVIII. THE DEPARTED ROOSTER. THE GROCERY MAN DISCOURSES ON DEATH--THE DEAD ROOSTER--A BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH--THE TENDERNESS BETWEEN THE ROOSTER AND HIS FAITHFUL HEN--THE HEN RETIRES TO SET--THE CHICKENS--THE PROUD ROOSTER DIES--THE FICKLE HEN FLIRTING IN INDECENT HASTE CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XIX. ONE MORE JOKE ON THE OLD MAN--UNCLE EZRA RETURNS--THE BASKET ON THE STEPS--THE ANONYMOUS LETTER--"O, BROTHER THAT I SHOULD LIVE TO SEE THIS DAY!"--AN UGLY DUTCH BABY--THE OLD MAN WHEELS THE BABY NOW--A FROG IN THE OLD MAN'S BED CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XX. FOURTH OF JULY MISADVENTURES. TROUBLE IN THE PISTOL POCKET--THE GROCERY MAN'S CAT THE BAD BOY A MINISTERING ANGEL--ASLEEP ON THE FOURTH OF JULY--GOES WITH HIS GIRL TO THE SOLDIER'S HOME--TERRIBLE. FOURTH OF JULY MISADVENTURES--THE GIRL WHO WENT OUT COMES BACK A BURNT OFFERING CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXI. WORKING ON SUNDAY. TURNING A GRINDSTONE IS HEALTHY--"NOT ANY GRINDSTONE FOR HENNERY!"--THIS HYPOCRISY IS PLAYED OUT--ANOTHER JOB ON THE OLD MAN--HOW THE DAYS OF THE WEEK GOT MIXED--THE NUMEROUS FUNERALS--THE MINISTER APPEARS--THE BAD BOY GOES OVER THE BACK FENCE CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXII. THE OLD MAN AWFULLY BLOATED. THE OLD MAN BEGINS DRINKING AGAIN--THINKS BETTING IS HARMLESS--HAD TO WALK HOME FROM CHICAGO--THE SPECTACLES CHANGED--A SMALL SUIT OF CLOTHES--THE OLD MAN AWFULLY BLOATED--"HENNERY, YOUR PA IS A MIGHTY SICK MAN"--THE SWELLING SUDDENLY GOES DOWN CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIII. THE GROCERY MAN AND THE GHOST. GHOSTS DON'T STEAL WORMY FIGS--A GRAND REHEARSAL--THE MINISTER MURDERS HAMLET--THE WATER MELON KNIFE--THE OLD MAN WANTED TO REHEARSE THE DRUNKEN SCENE IN RIP VAN WINKLE--NO HUGGING ALLOWED--HAMLET WOULDN'T HAVE TWO GHOSTS--"HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE AN IDIOT?" CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXIV. THE CRUEL WOMAN AND THE LUCKLESS DOG--THE BAD BOY WITH A DOG AND A BLACK EYE--WHERE DID YOU STEAL HIM?--ANGELS DON'T BREAK DOGS' LEGS--A WOMAN WHO BREAKS DOGS' LEGS HAS NO SHOW WITH ST. PETER--ANOTHER BURGLAR SCARE--THE GROCERY DELIVERY MAN SCARED CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXV. THE BAD BOY GROWS THOUGHTFUL--WHY IS LETTUCE LIKE A GIRL?--KING SOLOMON A FOOL--THINK OF ANY SANE MAN HAVING A THOUSAND WIVES--HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE TWO HOTELS DURING VACATION--300 BLONDES--600 BRUNETTES, ETC.--A THOUSAND WIVES TAKING ICE CREAM--"I DON'T ENVY SOLOMON HIS THOUSAND" CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVI. FARM EXPERIENCES. THE BAD BOY WORKS ON A FARM FOR A DEACON--HE KNOWS WHEN HE HAS GOT ENOUGH--HOW THE DEACON MADE HIM FLAX AROUND--AND HOW HE MADE IT WARM FOR THE DEACON CHAPTER XXVII. DRINKING CIDER IN THE CELLAR--THE DEACON WILL NOT ACCEPT HENNERY'S RESIGNATION--HE WANTS BUTTER ON HIS PANCAKES--HIS CHUM JOINS HIM--THE SKUNK IN THE CELLAR--THE POOR BOY GETS THE "AGER." Peck's Bad Boy Abroad DETAILED CONTENTS PECK'S BAD BOY ABROAD. CHAPTER I. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER X. CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVII. CHAPTER XXVIII. CHAPTER XXIX. CHAPTER XXX. List of Illustrations Don't Shoot, Please 019 Doctors Left a Monkey Wrench in Him 025 Went out Just Ahead of the Old Man's Arctic Overshoes 027 Pasted a Tomato Can Label on the Suitcase 31 He Began to Dance All Around the Platform 037 Fished out a Nickel and Gave It to the Porter 042 President Began to Curl up his Lip 045 I Was Starting to Give Him a Swift Punch 047 Saw the Marble Coffins in Which George and Martha 050 Slipped It Down the Back of Dad's Pants 057 The Waiter Brought Dad the Check 063 One Man Wanted Dad to Cash a Check 067 Night Watchman Came in With a House Policeman 071 I Am Sorry for Dad, Because he Holds More Than I Do 074 A Speech, Thanking his Fellow Countrymen 078 Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep 094 Snarl at Everybody They See 101 Stood Around and Let Richard Kill Those Princes 098 Beefeater's Stampede 107 Suit he Had Made in Oshkosh 111 Settling the Irish Question 115 God Save the King 119 He Went over Backwards 121 Glad to Serve Any of the Descendants Of The Heroes 126 Dad Rolled off over the Bowsprit 128 Isn't Money Enough in the Whole Family to Wad a Gun 131 Dad Drove the Dukes out 135 Coughs up a Tip Every Time 143 A Tone of Voice That Meant Trouble 138 I Won't Hurt the Little Runt 145 Tried to Explain That he Had Been Buncoed 148 Badge on Dad's Breast, With the Word "bishop" 153 Dad Was a Sight when We Found Him in Jail 155 Flies Crawling Around There Are Men and Women 157 He Took out a Five-dollar Bill 159 Dance, Like They Had Seen the People Dance at The Show 164 A System of Gambling 162 Seeing the Poor Devils Who Had Gone Broke 166 Reach Into Another Pocket and Dig up Another Roll 171 Started in on a Democratic Speech 175 Dad Got Down on his Knees and Tried to Say a Prayer 178 Dad Slipped Down a Crevice About 100 Feet 181 Have to Remain There Until Spring Opened 183 Dad and the Anarchists Reveled Till Morning 188 Coughed up over $40 the First Day, Just Giving to Beggars 191 Overboard, One Yell in the English Language, One In Eye-talian 193 Then You Don't Blame Your Little Boy, Do You 197 Wanted to Turn in a Fire Alarm 201 Threw a Pail of Ashes over the Fence 204 Dad Insisted on Carrying an Umbrella 207 The Man Rolled Dad over and he Was a Sight 210 It Was a Picture to See Dad Go up Old Baldhead 214 And She Was Stroking his Hair 217 He Was Yelling for Water 223 Pulled a Long Blue Gun 220 It Brought on a Revolution 227 What Dad Expected of Me in the Way Of Amusement 230 Went over in the Sand and Struck his Pants on a Cactus 233 He Took the Lead for Good Old Rome 235 Had to Kiss Anybody They Brought To Me 238 For Awhile Dad Dassent Go up 241 He Would Break Me up Into Bones, and Throw Me Into a Pile 246 The Russian Told Dad That Nicholas Just Doted On Americans 250 See the Guards Shaking Dice for Our Money 253 A Cossack Rode Right up to Him and Lashed Him over The Back 258 Hit Dad in the Nose With The Butt of a Revolver 255 Hung by One Pant Leg 264 Piled Us out on Top of Dad 269 Dad Stood up in the Sledge 267 Pursued by a Pack of Ravenous Wolves 271 When Dad Put his Hand on Her Shoulder and Petted It 276 Get out You Hounds 282 There'll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town To-night 279 Another Took Me by the Ear 285 He Must Bring his Folks, and All His Wives 289 He Was Just Getting Warmed up 293 Stampede 299 It Takes Nine Baths to Get Down To American Epidermis 304 Sat There Like a Frog on A Pond Lily Leaf 308 Started on a Stampede for the Pyramids 311 I Was Ashamed of Dad 319 Pay, Or They Would Kill Him 316 Dad is Disguised As a Shiek 323 Keep Away from the Banks for Fear The Banks Will Cave In 329 Sang So Loud You Would Think he Would Split Hisself 333 Breathed in his Face 339 The King Got One Piece of the Cayenne Pepper Candy 347 Dad Couldn't Stand It Any Longer 343 Dad's Pants Stayed on the Bull's Horns 349 There is Laughter Everywhere 353 And So This is the Champion Little Devil of America 357 Dad Leaned Against a Lamp Post and Scratched his Back 364 Began to Sell Things To Dad 368 Dad and Leopold Make a Rush for That Swimming Place 372 I'll Swim You a Match to the Other Side 378 When the Goats Began to Chew The Clothes 375 Grabbed a Mouthful of Dad's Ample Pants 386 The Ox Bellowed and Run Away 382 CONTENTS CHAPTER I. CHAPTER I. The Bad Boy and His Chum Call on the Old Groceryman After Being Away at School--The Bad Boy's Dad in a Bad Way CHAPTER II. CHAPTER II. The Bad Boy and His Dad Ready for Their Travels--The Bad Boy Labels the Old Man's Suit Case--How the Cowboys Made Him Dance Once CHAPTER III. CHAPTER III. The Bad Boy Writes About the Fun They Had Going to Washington--He and His Dad Call on President Roosevelt--The Bad Boy Meets One of the Children and They Disagree CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER IV. The Bad Boy and His Dad Visit Mount Vernon--Dad Weeps at the Grave of the Father of Our Country CHAPTER V. CHAPTER V. The Bad Boy and His Dad Have Dinner at the Waldorf-Astoria--The Bad Boy Orders Dinner--The Old Man Gets Stuck--Tries to Rescue a Countess in Distress CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VI. The Bad Boy Writes the Old Groceryman About Ocean Voyages--His Dad Has an Argument Over a Steamer Chair. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VII. The Bad Boy and His Dad Eat Fog--Call on Astor--A Dynamite Outrage CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER VIII. The Bad Boy Writes About the Craze for Gin in the White-chapel District--He Gives His Dad a Scare in the Tower of London CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER IX. The Bad Boy and His Dad Call on King Edward and Almost Settle the Irish Question CHAPTER X. CHAPTER X. The Bad Boy Writes of Ancient and Modern Highwaymen--| They Get a Taste of High Life in London and Dad Tells the Story of the Picklemaker's Daughter CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XI. The Bad Boy Writes About Paris--Tells About the Trip Across the English Channel--Dad Feeds a Dog and Gets Arrested CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XII. The Bad Boy's Second Letter from Paris--Dad Poses as a Mormon Bishop and Has to Be Rescued--They Climb the Eiffel Tower and the Old Man Gets Converted CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIII. The Bad Boy's Dad and a Man from Dakota Frame Up a Scheme to Break the Bank, But They Go Broke--The Party in Trouble CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XIV. The Bad Boy and His Dad Have an Automobile Ride--They Run Over a Peasant--Climb "Glaziers"--Dad Falls Over a Precipice, But Is Rescued by the Guides After a Hard Time of It CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XV. Dad Plays He Is an Anarchist--They Give Alms to the Beggars and the Bad Boy Ducks a Gondolier and His Dad in the Grand Canal CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVI. The Bad Boy Writes from Naples--Dad Sees Vesuvius and Calls the Servants to Put Out the Fire--They Have Trouble with a "Dago" in Pompeii CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVII. The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb Vesuvius--A Chicago Lady Joins the Party and Causes Trouble CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XVIII. The Bad Boy Makes Friends with Some Italian Children--Dad is Chased by Lions from the Coliseum--" Not Any More Rome for Papa," says Dad CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XIX. The Bad Boy and His Dad Visit the Pope--They Bow to, the King of Italy and His Nine Spots--Dad Finds That "The Catacombs" Is Not a Comic Opera CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XX. The Bad Boy Tells About the Land of the Czar and the Trouble They Had to Get There--Dad Does a Stunt and Mixes It Up with the People and Soldiers CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXI. Dad Sees a Russian Revolution and Faints--'The Bad Boy Arranges a Wolf Hunt--Dad Threatens to Throw the Boy to the Wolves CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXII. Dad Wears His Masonic Fez in Constantinople--They Find the Turks Sensitive on the Dog Question--A College Yell for the Sultan Sends Him Into a Fit CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIII. The Bad Boy and His Dad Meet the Cream of the Harem--"Little Egypt" Does a Dancing Stunt--The Sultan Wants to Send Fifty Wives to the President CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXIV. The Bad Boy and His Dad Arrive in Cairo--At the Hotel They Meet Some Egyptian Princesses--Dad Rides a Camel to the Pyramids and Meets with Difficulties CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXV. The Bad Boy and His Dad Climb the Pyramids--The Bad Boy Lights a Cannon Cracker in Rameses' Tomb--They Flee from Egypt in Disguise CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVI. The Bad Boy Writes About Gibraltar--The Irish-English Army--How He Would Take the Fortress--Dad Wants to Buy the "Rock" CHAPTER XXVII. CHAPTER XXVII. The Bad Boy Writes of Spain--They call On the King and the Bad Boy Is At It Once More--They See a Bull Fight and Dad Does a Turn CHAPTER XXVIII. CHAPTER XXVIII. The Bad Boy and His Dad at Berlin--They Call On Emperor William and His Family and the Bad Boy Plays a Joke on Them All CHAPTER XXIX. CHAPTER XXIX. The Bad Boy Writes from Brussels--He and Dad See the Field of Waterloo and Call on King Leopold, and Dad and the King Go in for a Swim--The Bad Boy, a Dog and Some Goats Do the Rest CHAPTER XXX. CHAPTER XXX. The Bad Boy's Delayed Letter About Holland and Cuba--Dad and the Boy Go for a Drive in a Dog-Cart--They Have a Great Time--Land in Cuba and See the Island We Fought For Peck's Uncle Ike and Red Headed Boy CHAPTER I. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER X. CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIV. List of Illustrations Cover Frontispiece Titlepage A Dog Biscuit Would Have Been Mince Pie Something the Matter With This 'ere Terbacker It Does Not Take Opera Music to Get People To Heaven Wanted Me to Send For a Doctor Grabbed a Circus Man by the Arm My Boy, You Are Going to Lose Your Uncle Ike Which is Jeffries We Are Going to Have the Petition Bump That Indicates That You Will Steal She is a Nice, Warm-looking Girl A Lot of Us Boys Are Going to the Klondike I Heard a Rumor About You Yesterday Here, This Plaster Has Got to Be Removed Nothing on But a Flour Sack Been Trying to Smoke the Old Man's Pipe, Eh! Take to the Chaparral, Condemn You You Better Call It a Draw We Came to Offer You the Position of Colonel Where Did You Get That Watch What Dum Foolishness You Got on Hand Now Squirming Like a Lot of Angleworms Where's the Police I Would Give Him One on the Nose With My Left Hand A Life on the Ocean Wave Peck's Sunshine "NOT GUILTY." PECK'S SUNSHINE. FEMALE DOCTORS WILL NEVER DO. CROSSMAN'S GOAT. A MEAN TRICK. A FEMALE KNIGHT OF PYTHIAS. THE TELESCOPE FISH-POLE CANE. AN ARM THAT IS NOT RELIABLE. BOUNCED FROM CHURCH FOR DANCING. POLICE SEARCHING WOMEN. ABOUT HELL. UNSCREWING THE TOP OF A FRUIT JAR. BUTTERMILK BIBBERS. AN AESTHETIC FEMALE CLUB BUSTED. FOOLING WITH THE BIBLE. COLORED CONCERT TROUPES. COULDN'T GET AWAY FROM HIM. DOGS AND HUMAN BEINGS. ARTHUR WILL KEEP A COW. SHALL THERE BE HUGGING IN THE PARKS? THE BOB-TAILED BADGER. CANNIBALS AND CORK LEGS. THE MINISTERIAL PUGILISTS. MUSIC ON THE WATERS. WOMAN-DOZING A DEMOCRAT. A LIVELY TRAIN LOAD. HOW SHARPER THAN A HOUND'S TOOTH. A SEWING MACHINE GIVEN TO THE BOSS GIRL. DON'T APPRECIATE KINDNESS. RELIGION AND FISH. A DOCTOR OF LAWS. THE DIFFERENCE IN HORSES. ADDICTED TO LIMBURG CHEESE. TERRIBLE TIME ON THE CARS. CHANGED SATCHELS. THE NAUGHTY BUT NICE CHURCH CHOIR. SENSE IN LITTLE BUGS. SUMMER RESORTING. THE GOSPEL CAR. INCIDENTS AT THE NEWHALL HOUSE FIRE. THE WAY WOMEN BOSS A PILLOW. THE DEADLY PAPER BAG THE VIRGINIA DUEL. THE DIFFERENCE. SPURIOUS TRIPE. A CASE OF PARALYSIS. MALE AND FEMALE MASHING. THE USES OF THE PAPER BAG. THE NEW COAL STOVE. A COLD, CHEERLESS RIDE. SOME TALK ABOUT MONOPOLIES. A BALD-HEADED MAN MOST CRAZY. ACCIDENTS AND INCIDENTS AT THEATRES. ALL ABOUT A SANDWICH. GOODWILL AND COMPASSION. THE FEMALE BURGLAR. THE GIRL THAT WAS HUGGED TO DEATH. OUR CHRISTIAN NEIGHBORS HAVE GONE. THE SUDDEN FIRE-WORKS AT RACINE. YOUNG FOOLS WHO MARRY. LARGE MOUTHS ARE FASHIONABLE. LOOKING FOR A MOOLEY COW. THE HARMFUL HAMMOCK. BOYS AND CIRCUSES. A TRYING SITUATION. THE KIND OF A DOCTOR TO HAVE. THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ABE TALKING ABOUT. A KANSAS CYCLONE. HOW JEFF DAVIS WAS CAPTURED. THOSE BOLD, BAD DRUMMERS. ANGELS OR EAGLES. AN ACCIDENT ALL ABOUND. PRIZE FIGHTING AND MORMONISM. MISDEAL IN A SLEEPING CAR. PARALYSIS IN A THEATRE THE QUEEREST NAME. CHURCH KENO. THE ADVENT PREACHER AND THE BALLOON. THE CAUSE OF RHEUMATISM. HOW A GROCERY MAN WAS MAIMED. CAMP MEETING IN THE DARK OF THE MOON. ANOTHER VIEW OF THE CASK THE PIOUS DEACON AND THE WORLDLY COW. THE QUESTION OF CATS. THE KNIGHT AND THE BRIDAL CHAMBER. THE HOUSE GIRL RACE. THE TROUBLE MR. STOREY HAS. TRAGEDY ON THE STAGE. THE MISTAKE ABOUT IT. THE MAN FROM DUBUQUE. THE GIDDY GIRLS QUARREL. DON'T LEAVE YOUR GUM AROUND. THE WAY TO NAME CHILDREN. ABOUT RAILROAD CONDUCTORS. A HOT BOX AT A PICNIC. BROKE UP A PRAYER MEETING. SHOOTING ON SUNDAY, WITH THE MOUTH. A WASHINGTON SURPRISE PARTY. THE DIFFERENCE IN CLOTHES. A TEMPERANCE LECTURE THAT HURT. BRAVERY OF MRS. GARFIELD ILLUSTRATING THE ASSASSINATION. THE INFIDEL AND HIS SILVER MINE. THE GREAT MONOPOLIES. ANOTHER DEAD FAILURE. OUR BLUE-COATED DOG POISONERS. AND HE ROSE UP AND SPAKE. GOT IN THE WRONG PEW. PALACE CATTLE CARS. DUCK OR NO DINNER. THE GUINEA PIG. FAILURE OF A SOLID INSTITUTION. Private George W. Peck CHAPTER I. CHAPTER II. CHAPTER III. CHAPTER IV. CHAPTER V. CHAPTER VI. CHAPTER VII. CHAPTER VIII. CHAPTER IX. CHAPTER X. CHAPTER XI. CHAPTER XII. CHAPTER XIII. CHAPTER XIV. CHAPTER XV. CHAPTER XVI. CHAPTER XVII. CHAPTER XVIII. CHAPTER XIX. CHAPTER XX. CHAPTER XXI. CHAPTER XXII. CHAPTER XXIII. CHAPTER XXIV. CHAPTER XXV. CHAPTER XXVI. CHAPTER XXVII. List of Illustrations Mounting a Horse from the Top of A Rail Fence On Went the Two Night Riders Great Caesar's Ghost How It Did Taste Never Did Know, How I Got out of the General's Tent A Solemn Funeral Oration You Are a Darling Good Man Engineer Threw a Lump of Coal and Hit Me We Went Into the Camp That Way Just Promoted to the Proud Position of Corporal Xcuse Me, But What Kind of a Thing is That? Two Very Long Stockings, Came over the Pulpit Gave a Yell That Could Have Been Heard A Mile She Gave Him a Piece of Her Mind I Forbid You Touching That Mare Stood There for a Minute, Like A Horse Statute End of Project Gutenberg's Works Of George W. Peck, by George W. Peck *** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WORKS OF GEORGE W. 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