Project Gutenberg's A Defective Santa Claus, by James Whitcomb Riley

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org


Title: A Defective Santa Claus

Author: James Whitcomb Riley

Illustrator: C. M. Relyea and Will Vawter

Release Date: December 25, 2006 [EBook #20181]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DEFECTIVE SANTA CLAUS ***




Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Garcia and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net












Book Cover




Vignettes

[i]

A Defective Santa Claus

[ii]





[iii]





[iv]

[v]





A Defective Santa Claus

JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY

With Pictures by
C. M. RELYEA
and
WILL VAWTER

INDIANAPOLIS
THE BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY
PUBLISHERS

[vi]





Copyright 1904
James Whitcomb Riley


December



PRESS OF
BRAUNWORTH & CO.
BOOKBINDERS AND PRINTERS
BROOKLYN, N. Y.

[vii]





DEDICATION



To
HEWITT HANSON HOWLAND
WITH HALEST CHRISTMAS GREETINGS
AND FRATERNAL



Little Boy! Halloo!—halloo!

Can't you hear me calling you?—

Little Boy that used to be,

Come in here and play with me.

[viii]





Vignette

[ix]





A Defective Santa Claus

[x]





[1]





A Defective Santa Claus

Allus when our Pa he's away

Nen Uncle Sidney comes to stay

At our house here—so Ma an' me

An' Etty an' Lee-Bob won't be

Afeard ef anything at night

Might happen—like Ma says it might.

[2]

(Ef Trip wuz big, I bet you he

'Uz best watch-dog you ever see!)

An' so last winter—ist before

It's go' be Chris'mus-Day,—w'y, shore

Enough, Pa had to haf to go

To 'tend a lawsuit—"An' the snow

Ist right fer Santy Claus!" Pa said,

As he clumb in old Ayersuz' sled,

An' said he's sorry he can't be

With us that night—"'Cause," he-says-ee,

"Old Santy might be comin' here—

This very night of all the year

[3]

[4]





[5]

I' got to be away!—so all

You kids must tell him—ef he call—

He's mighty welcome, an' yer Pa

He left his love with you an' Ma

[6]

An' Uncle Sid!" An' clucked, an' leant

Back, laughin'—an' away they went!

An' Uncle wave' his hands an' yells

"Yer old horse ort to have on bells!"

But Pa yell back an' laugh an' say

"I 'spect when Santy come this way

It's time enough fer sleighbells nen!"

An' holler back "Good-by!" again,

An' reach out with the driver's whip

An' cut behind an' drive back Trip.

An' so all day it snowed an' snowed!

An' Lee-Bob he ist watched the road,

[7]

[8]





[9]

In his high-chair; an' Etty she

U'd play with Uncle Sid an' me—

Like she wuz he'ppin' fetch in wood

An' keepin' old fire goin' good,

[10]

Where Ma she wuz a-cookin' there

An' kitchen, too, an' ever'where!

An' Uncle say, "'At's ist the way

Yer Ma's b'en workin', night an' day,

Sence she hain't big as Etty is

Er Lee-Bob in that chair o' his!"

Nen Ma she'd laugh 't what Uncle said,

An' smack an' smoove his old bald head

An' say "Clear out the way till I

Can keep that pot from b'ilin' dry!"

Nen Uncle, when she's gone back to

The kitchen, says, "We ust to do

[11]

[12]





[13]

Some cookin' in the ashes.—Say,

S'posin' we try some, thataway!"

An' nen he send us to tell Ma

Send two big 'taters in he saw

[14]

Pa's b'en a-keepin' 'cause they got

The premiun at the Fair. An' what

You think?—He rake a grea'-big hole

In the hot ashes, an' he roll

Them old big 'taters in the place

An' rake the coals back—an' his face

Ist swettin' so's he purt'-nigh swear

'Cause it's so hot! An' when they're there

'Bout time 'at we fergit 'em, he

Ist rake 'em out again—an' gee!—

He bu'st 'em with his fist wite on

A' old stove-led, while Etty's gone

[15]

[16]





[17]

To git the salt, an' butter, too—

Ist like he said she haf to do,

No matter what Ma say! An' so

He salt an' butter 'em, an' blow

[18]

'Em cool enough fer us to eat—

An' me-o-my! they're hard to beat!

An' Trip 'ud ist lay there an' pant

Like he'd laugh out loud, but he can't.

Nen Uncle fill his pipe—an' we

'Ud he'p him light it—Sis an' me,—

But mostly little Lee-Bob, 'cause

"He's the best Lighter ever wuz!"

Like Uncle telled him wunst when Lee-

Bob cried an' jerked the light from me,

He wuz so mad! So Uncle pat

An' pet him. (Lee-Bob's ust to that—

[19]

[20]





[21]

'Cause he's the little-est, you know,

An' allus has b'en humored so!)

Nen Uncle gits the flat-arn out,

An', while he's tellin' us all 'bout

[22]

Old Chris'mus-times when he's a kid,

He ist cracked hickernuts, he did,

Till they's a crockful, mighty nigh!

An' when they're all done by an' by,

He raked the red coals out again

An' telled me, "Fetch that popcorn in,

An' old three-leggud skillut—an'

The led an' all now, little man,—

An' yer old Uncle here 'ull show

You how corn's popped, long years ago

When me an' Santy Claus wuz boys

On Pap's old place in Illinoise!—

[23]

[24]





[25]

An' your Pa, too, wuz chums, all through,

With Santy!—Wisht Pa'd be here, too!"

Nen Uncle sigh at Ma, an' she

Pat him again, an' say to me

[26]

An' Etty,—"You take warning fair!—

Don't talk too much, like Uncle there,

Ner don't fergit, like him, my dears,

That 'little pitchers has big ears!'"

But Uncle say to her, "Clear out!—

Yer brother knows what he's about.—

You git your Chris'mus-cookin' done

Er these pore childern won't have none!"

Nen Trip wake up an' raise, an' nen

Turn roun' an' nen lay down again.

An' one time Uncle Sidney say,—

"When dogs is sleepin' thataway,

[27]

[28]





[29]

Like Trip, an' whimpers, it's a sign

He'll ketch eight rabbits—mayby nine

Afore his fleas'll wake him—nen

He'll bite hisse'f to sleep again

[30]

An try to dream he's go' ketch ten."

An' when Ma's gone again back in

The kitchen, Uncle scratch his chin

An' say, "When Santy Claus an' Pa

An' me wuz little boys—an' Ma,

When she's 'bout big as Etty there;—

W'y,—'When we're growed—no matter where,'

Santy he cross' his heart an' say,—

'I'll come to see you, all, some day

When you' got childerns—all but me

An' pore old Sid!'" Nen Uncle he

Ist kindo' shade his eyes an' pour'

[31]

[32]





[33]

'Bout forty-'leven bushels more

O' popcorn out the skillut there

In Ma's new basket on the chair.

An' nen he telled us—an' talk' low,

[34]

"So Ma can't hear," he say:—"You know

Yer Pa know', when he drived away,

Tomorry's go' be Chris'mus-Day;—

Well, nen tonight," he whisper, "see?—

It's go' be Chris'mus-Eve," says-ee,

"An', like yer Pa hint, when he went,

Old Santy Claus (now hush!) he's sent

Yer Pa a postul-card, an' write

He's shorely go' be here tonight....

That's why yer Pa's so bored to be

Away tonight, when Santy he

Is go' be here, sleighbells an' all,

[35]

[36]





[37]

To make you kids a Chris'mus-call!"

An' we're so glad to know fer shore

He's comin', I roll on the floor—

An' here come Trip a-waller'n' roun'

[38]

An' purt'-nigh knock the clo'eshorse down!—

An' Etty grab Lee-Bob an' prance

All roun' the room like it's a dance—

Till Ma she come an' march us nen

To dinner, where we're still again,

But tickled so we ist can't eat

But pie, an' ist the hot mincemeat

With raisins in.—But Uncle et,

An' Ma. An' there they set an' set

Till purt'-nigh supper-time; nen we

Tell him he's got to fix the Tree

'Fore Santy gits here, like he said.

[39]

[40]





[41]

We go nen to the old woodshed—

All bundled up, through the deep snow—

"An' snowin' yet, jee-rooshy-O!"

Uncle he said, an' he'p us wade

[42]

Back where's the Chris'mus-Tree he's made

Out of a little jackoak-top

He git down at the sawmill-shop—

An' Trip 'ud run ahead, you know,

An' 'tend-like he 'uz eatin' snow—

When we all waddle back with it;

An' Uncle set it up—an' git

It wite in front the fireplace—'cause

He says "'Tain't so 'at Santy Claus

Comes down all chimblies,—least, tonight

He's comin' in this house all right—

By the front-door, as ort to be!—

[43]

[44]





[45]

We'll all be hid where we can see!"

Nen he look up, an' he see Ma

An' say, "It's ist too bad their Pa

Can't be here, so's to see the fun

[46]

The childern will have, ever' one!"

Well, we!—We hardly couldn't wait

Till it wuz dusk, an' dark an' late

Enough to light the lamp!—An' Lee-

Bob light a candle on the Tree—

"Ist one—'cause I'm 'The Lighter'!"—Nen

He clumb on Uncle's knee again

An' hug us bofe;—an' Etty git

Her little chist an' set on it

Wite clos't, while Uncle telled some more

'Bout Santy Claus, an' clo'es he wore

"All maked o' furs, an' trimmed as white

[47]

[48]





[49]

As cotton is, er snow at night!"

An' nen, all sudden-like, he say,—

"Hush! Listen there! Hain't that a sleigh

An' sleighbells jinglin'?" Trip go "whooh!"

[50]

Like he hear bells an' smell 'em, too.

Nen we all listen.... An'-sir, shore

Enough, we hear bells—more an' more

A-jinglin' clos'ter—clos'ter still

Down the old crook-road roun' the hill.

An' Uncle he jumps up, an' all

The chairs he jerks back by the wall

An' th'ows a' overcoat an' pair

O' winder-curtains over there

An' says, "Hide quick, er you're too late!—

Them bells is stoppin' at the gate!—

Git back o' them-'air chairs an' hide,

[51]

[52]





[53]

'Cause I hear Santy's voice outside!"

An' Bang! bang! bang! we heerd the door—

Nen it flewed open, an' the floor

Blowed full o' snow—that's first we saw,

[54]

Till little Lee-Bob shriek' at Ma

"There's Santy Claus!—I know him by

His big white mufftash!"—an' ist cry

An' laugh an' squeal an' dance an' yell

Till, when he quiet down a spell,

Old Santy bow an' th'ow a kiss

To him—an' one to me an' Sis—

An' nen go clos't to Ma an' stoop

An' kiss her—An' nen give a whoop

That fainted her!—'Cause when he bent

An' kiss her, he ist backed an' went

Wite 'ginst the Chris'mus-Tree ist where

[55]

[56]





[57]

The candle's at Lee-Bob lit there!—

An' set his white-fur belt afire—

An' blaze streaked roun' his waist an' higher

Wite up his old white beard an' th'oat!—

[58]

Nen Uncle grabs th' old overcoat

An' flops it over Santy's head,

An' swing the door wide back an' said,

"Come out, old man!—an' quick about

It!—I've ist got to put you out!"

An' out he sprawled him in the snow—

"Now roll!" he says—"Hi-roll-ee-O!"—

An' Santy, sputter'n' "Ouch! Gee-whiz!"

Ist roll an' roll fer all they is!

An' Trip he's out there, too,—I know,

'Cause I could hear him yappin' so—

An' I heerd Santy, wunst er twic't,

[59]

[60]





[61]

Say, as he's rollin', "Drat the fice't!"

Nen Uncle come back in, an' shake

Ma up, an' say, "Fer mercy-sake!—

He hain't hurt none!" An' nen he said,—

[62]

"You youngsters h'ist up-stairs to bed!—

Here! kiss yer Ma 'Good-night,' an' me,—

We'll he'p old Santy fix the Tree—

An' all yer whistles, horns an' drums

I'll he'p you toot when morning comes!"


It's long while 'fore we go to sleep,—

'Cause down-stairs, all-time somepin' keep

A-kindo' scufflin' roun' the floors—

An' openin' doors, an' shettin' doors—

An' could hear Trip a-whinin', too,

Like he don't know ist what to do—

[63]

[64]





[65]

An' tongs a-clankin' down k'thump!—

Nen some one squonkin' the old pump—

An' Wooh! how cold it soun' out there!

I could ist see the pump-spout where

[66]

It's got ice chin-whiskers all wet

An' drippy—An' I see it yet!

An' nen, seem-like, I hear some mens

A-talkin' out there by the fence,

An' one says, "Oh, 'bout twelve o'clock!"

"Nen," 'nother'n says, "Here's to you, Doc!—

God bless us ever' one!" An' nen

I heerd the old pump squonk again.

An' nen I say my prayer all through

Like Uncle Sidney learn' me to,—

"O Father mine, e'en as Thine own,

This child looks up to Thee alone:

[67]

[68]





[69]

Asleep or waking, give him still

His Elder Brother's wish and will."

An' that's the last I know.... Till Ma

She's callin' us—an' so is Pa,—

[70]

He holler "Chris'mus-gif'!" an' say,—

"I'm got back home fer Chris'mus-Day!—

An' Uncle Sid's here, too—an' he

Is nibblin' 'roun' yer Chris'mus-Tree!"

Nen Uncle holler, "I suppose

Yer Pa's so proud he's froze his nose

He wants to turn it up at us,

'Cause Santy kick' up such a fuss—

Tetchin' hisse'f off same as ef

He wuz his own fireworks hisse'f!"

An' when we're down-stairs,—shore enough,

Pa's nose is froze an' salve an' stuff

[71]

[72]





[73]

All on it—an' one hand's froze, too,

An' got a old yarn red-and-blue

Mitt on it—"An' he's froze some more

Acrost his chist, an' kindo' sore

[74]

All roun' his dy-fram," Uncle say.—

"But Pa he'd ort a-seen the way

Santy bear up last night when that-

Air fire break out, an' quicker'n scat

He's all a-blazin', an' them-'air

Gun-cotton whiskers that he wear

Ist flashin'!—till I burn a hole

In the snow with him, and he roll

The front-yard dry as Chris'mus jokes

Old parents plays on little folks!

But, long's a smell o' tow er wool,

I kep' him rollin' beautiful!—

[75]

[76]





[77]

Till I wuz shore I shorely see

He's squenched! W'y, hadn't b'en fer me,

That old man might a-burnt clear down

Clean—plum'—level with the groun'!"

[78]

Nen Ma say, "There, Sid; that'll do!—

Breakfast is ready—Chris'mus, too.—

Your voice 'ud soun' best, sayin' Grace

Say it." An' Uncle bow' his face

An' say so long a Blessing nen,

Trip bark' two times 'fore it's "A-men!"


















End of Project Gutenberg's A Defective Santa Claus, by James Whitcomb Riley

*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DEFECTIVE SANTA CLAUS ***

***** This file should be named 20181-h.htm or 20181-h.zip *****
This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:
        http://www.gutenberg.org/2/0/1/8/20181/

Produced by Juliet Sutherland, David Garcia and the Online
Distributed Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net


Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions
will be renamed.

Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no
one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation
(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without
permission and without paying copyright royalties.  Special rules,
set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to
copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to
protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark.  Project
Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you
charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission.  If you
do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the
rules is very easy.  You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose
such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and
research.  They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do
practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks.  Redistribution is
subject to the trademark license, especially commercial
redistribution.



*** START: FULL LICENSE ***

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE
PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free
distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work
(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project
Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project
Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at
http://gutenberg.org/license).


Section 1.  General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic works

1.A.  By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to
and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property
(trademark/copyright) agreement.  If you do not agree to abide by all
the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy
all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession.
If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the
terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or
entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B.  "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark.  It may only be
used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who
agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement.  There are a few
things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works
even without complying with the full terms of this agreement.  See
paragraph 1.C below.  There are a lot of things you can do with Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement
and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.  See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C.  The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation"
or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic works.  Nearly all the individual works in the
collection are in the public domain in the United States.  If an
individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are
located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from
copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative
works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg
are removed.  Of course, we hope that you will support the Project
Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by
freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of
this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with
the work.  You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by
keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project
Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D.  The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern
what you can do with this work.  Copyright laws in most countries are in
a constant state of change.  If you are outside the United States, check
the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement
before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or
creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project
Gutenberg-tm work.  The Foundation makes no representations concerning
the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United
States.

1.E.  Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1.  The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate
access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently
whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the
phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project
Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed,
copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

1.E.2.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived
from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is
posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied
and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees
or charges.  If you are redistributing or providing access to a work
with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the
work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1
through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the
Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or
1.E.9.

1.E.3.  If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted
with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution
must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional
terms imposed by the copyright holder.  Additional terms will be linked
to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the
permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work.

1.E.4.  Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this
work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm.

1.E.5.  Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this
electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without
prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with
active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project
Gutenberg-tm License.

1.E.6.  You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary,
compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any
word processing or hypertext form.  However, if you provide access to or
distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than
"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version
posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org),
you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a
copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon
request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other
form.  Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm
License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7.  Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying,
performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works
unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8.  You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing
access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided
that

- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from
     the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method
     you already use to calculate your applicable taxes.  The fee is
     owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he
     has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the
     Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.  Royalty payments
     must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you
     prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax
     returns.  Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and
     sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the
     address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to
     the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation."

- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies
     you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he
     does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm
     License.  You must require such a user to return or
     destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium
     and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of
     Project Gutenberg-tm works.

- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any
     money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the
     electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days
     of receipt of the work.

- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free
     distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works.

1.E.9.  If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm
electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set
forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from
both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael
Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark.  Contact the
Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1.  Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable
effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread
public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm
collection.  Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain
"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or
corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual
property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a
computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by
your equipment.

1.F.2.  LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right
of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project
Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project
Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all
liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal
fees.  YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT
LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE
PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3.  YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE
TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE
LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR
INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH
DAMAGE.

1.F.3.  LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a
defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can
receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a
written explanation to the person you received the work from.  If you
received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with
your written explanation.  The person or entity that provided you with
the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a
refund.  If you received the work electronically, the person or entity
providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to
receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund.  If the second copy
is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further
opportunities to fix the problem.

1.F.4.  Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth
in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS' WITH NO OTHER
WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO
WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE.

1.F.5.  Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied
warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages.
If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the
law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be
interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by
the applicable state law.  The invalidity or unenforceability of any
provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions.

1.F.6.  INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the
trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone
providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance
with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production,
promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works,
harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees,
that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do
or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm
work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any
Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause.


Section  2.  Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm

Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of
electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers
including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers.  It exists
because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from
people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the
assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's
goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will
remain freely available for generations to come.  In 2001, the Project
Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure
and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations.
To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation
and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4
and the Foundation web page at http://www.pglaf.org.


Section 3.  Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive
Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit
501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the
state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal
Revenue Service.  The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification
number is 64-6221541.  Its 501(c)(3) letter is posted at
http://pglaf.org/fundraising.  Contributions to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent
permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws.

The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S.
Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered
throughout numerous locations.  Its business office is located at
809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email
[email protected].  Email contact links and up to date contact
information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official
page at http://pglaf.org

For additional contact information:
     Dr. Gregory B. Newby
     Chief Executive and Director
     [email protected]


Section 4.  Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg
Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide
spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of
increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be
freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest
array of equipment including outdated equipment.  Many small donations
($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt
status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating
charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United
States.  Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a
considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up
with these requirements.  We do not solicit donations in locations
where we have not received written confirmation of compliance.  To
SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any
particular state visit http://pglaf.org

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we
have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition
against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who
approach us with offers to donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make
any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from
outside the United States.  U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation
methods and addresses.  Donations are accepted in a number of other
ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations.
To donate, please visit: http://pglaf.org/donate


Section 5.  General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic
works.

Professor Michael S. Hart is the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm
concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared
with anyone.  For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project
Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support.


Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed
editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S.
unless a copyright notice is included.  Thus, we do not necessarily
keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition.


Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility:

     http://www.gutenberg.org

This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm,
including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary
Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to
subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks.